"You may not be surprised to hear that the male brain area for sexual pursuit is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain. But if you could spend a day experiencing things through 'male-colored' glasses, you'd probably be amazed by how men see the world. Small differences between men and women can make or break a relationship. If you've ever complained that your man doesn't 'get' you, it may surprise you to find out that you don't 'get' him either. And much as you may want him to be more like your best girlfriend, it's time to let go of that pipe dream and cozy up to the truth. He's different from you, but if you give him a chance to be himself, you're going to like what you see. The male brain is a lean, mean, problem-solving machine. That's why the man in your life tries to solve your problems instead of listening attentively while you vent. When he's faced with a personal problem, he uses his analytical brain structures, not his emotional ones, to find a solution. And it's frustrating to him when you don't let him try to help this way. It's time we stop bashing men for being who they are. Men and women have different brain realities--yours is designed to talk, bond and notice details, his is designed for sensing threats from afar and connecting by having sex. Each brain is like one half of a complete system. The new brain is two brains working together as one."
Uh oh, it's never good to zap me first thing in the morning. I'm not as nice as usual.
ReplyDeleteNice and tidy as these sexist cliches are, scientifically it's necessary to remember that neat categorizations like this are all relative. While some men are all Manly Man brain-wise and some women are all Girly Girl there are plenty of people placed all along the continuum. General tendencies do not an absolute make.
So, since I've hardly had my coffee I'll leave it at that. Otherwise I might strain my emotional, illogical girly brain
Glad to see heterosexism is alive and well in the domain of neurobiology/brain-science-cology! "Each [male or female] brain is like one half of a complete system. The new brain is like two brains working together as one."???? Wow, I guess as a gay man I can look forward to 'an incomplete' relationship based off this logic. :-)
ReplyDeleteIn issues where hard science, in this case neurology, and soft science, gender identity/construction here, are in dialogue with each other, it is critical that the researchers involved work through and examine their own heterosexist assumptions and conditioning. Don't get me wrong, there's great value to this study, but, c'mon people, scientific studies proclaiming the primacy of male/female sexual unions sounds suspiciously like the scientific studies justifying white racial hegemony. (See Stephen Jay Gould's "The Mismeasure of Men" about how great scientific work was clouded by unconscious (or not so unconscious) attempts to justify dominant power structures.)
My rant stems from a minor semantic point in this article, but it is emblematic of a pattern of similar lapses in judgment and omission quietly found in multiple essays and links here on the spirituality of sexuality -often exclusively concerning the spirituality of heterosexuality. Teachings detailing the union of male and female as the greatest form of spiritual completion are problematic, and, well, unnecessary. Please, straight people, I'm really happy for your success in attaining union between anima/animus with your partner and in transcending your egos through pleasure and bliss, and thanks your great empirical research: just don't claim an exclusive right on this stuff!
Okay, out of my system –otherwise great article!!!
It is time to stop bashing men for not being more like women in personal relationships. And it is overdue for society to stop demanding that women be like men in the world of work and career.
ReplyDeleteIf we could say what we really want of each other, it is more like: I want your presence with me intimately. I want to explore the frontier where our two different minds and energies mingle and tangle. That's where it gets challenging, but we have the skill and desire to work with it. That's where the turn on lives.
I enjoy your blog. Lots of good writing and perspective.
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