THE PERFECT STORM! (More from The Wave!)

The media has dubbed it "Frankenstorm," the combination of a hurricane (dubbed "Sandy"), a nor'easter and and a Canadian cold front coming together in what many are anticipating as a record-breaking weather event in the next 48 hours.

Yeah, well, what else is new? It's the last quarter of 2012, isn't it? 

At some level, everything is a metaphor, folks, and as symbolic events go, a "perfect storm" is a perfect metaphor for what's going on in our human collective right now, internally as well as externally. (Almost as a throw-away, on the Huffington Post this morning, there was a smaller headline under the big one about the storm that reads: "MASSIVE Earthquake Hits Canada." Right.)

Two weeks ago, I posted an "UPDATE ON THE WAVE," in which I reminded FPL readers what The Wave is about. That post started with this news item: "U.S. Deaths Surpass 2.5 Million For The First Time."

Here's an excerpt:

"The Wave that I've been writing about regularly for the last two years is in full force and still accelerating as we head down the home stretch of 2012. What is The Wave? It is the surge of energy that has been sweeping change across the planet more and more, brought about by a collective intention that has been in place for quite a long time, as we think of it, to make the Great Transition (as the Pathwork Guide lecture refers to it HERE) from a 3rd dimensional level of consciousness to 4th and 5th dimensional consciousness."

Now, lest I sound like an alarmist, let me say this - how The Wave or Frankenstorm or the Great Transition affects you is very much up to you. Even as we are collectively creating one outer reality together, we are each still individually creating our own personal reality. 

You will hear many stories in the next few days about how the storm is affecting people. What may not make the news, however, will be the stories of people who were barely disturbed by it. Calm within the storm is not considered as exciting in 3d reality as calamity. And of course, throughout this entire last year or so, well before this big storm, many people have already been experiencing different levels of either calamity or calm, the difference being determined by the openness of the human system as The Wave moves into and through their lives.

Personally, after many years/lifetimes of intensity and drama, I find peace, harmony and calm pretty damn exciting! How about you?

Enjoy the storm! 

A HEARTFELT RESPONSE TO PL'S POST: "I'M STILL SORRY, PARENTS, BUT BETTELHEIM WAS RIGHT...":

As is often the case, when I write a post about the deficits rampant in our approaches to parenting, the parents usually come forward first and in force to rail against my criticisms. But every once in a while, an adult offspring who suffered the slings and arrows of the kind of parenting I talk about will write in. It's always telling and always poignant... and always courageous. 

Here's something I just received this week on my FPL post "I'M STILL SORRY, PARENTS, BUT BETTELHEIM WAS RIGHT...": 

"Jesus Christ. This is the only page on the whole worldwide web I found which still dares to hold these views (and bring new input), despite the massive pressure of parents' organizations and pharmaceutical firms. I've outgrown autism, mostly. Every damn day, step by step, I have to fight each of my traumatic fears of hurting a masochistic mother whatever I do or say, and my traumatic fears of being killed by a violent sadistic father whatever I do or say. Each victory I win is another confirmation of the direct link between my parents' violence and my autism, which so many "professionals" tried to "help" me deny. You defend the parents, everybody sides with you. You defend the kids, you're called a misogynist, or far worse (if that is possible). Thank you for your courage. You are a brave man. Keep up the good work. When I hear those parents' organizations succeeding in shaming ayone stating that some parents may have a part of responsibily for their child's autism, I feel like I'm being murdered a second time."
Anonymous

Thank you, "Anonymous"

REPOST: WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL - IN PURSUIT OF EROS!

I can't count the number of people I've seen for couples counseling over the years. Struggles in relationships are among of the most frequent of reasons people seek out therapy. How one measures "success" in a course of therapy with a couple is a matter for debate in my profession, I suppose, but if the yardstick is whether or not the couple holds their relationship together instead of splitting up, then I am an abject failure. I would have to guess that somewhere around 75 to 80 percent of the couples I see for therapy end up separating. One of my colleagues calls me "The Separator."

Indeed, when I first see a new couple in treatment, one of my first ground rules is that it must be understood that we are not engaging in a process to "save the relationship." I explain that we are going to use the arena of the relationship to increase the self awareness and understanding of each individual, and then, see where that leads. Interestingly enough, very few people are really thrown by that at first, because by the time a couple arrives to therapy, the relationship has gotten so congested with anger, pain and resentment that "saving it" is not really what they're desiring (even though they will need help admitting that).

But, what causes relationships to end? Well, first let's eliminate the word "fail" here as meaning ending, and redefine it this way: a relationship is "failing" when either the Eros has died and the couple is refusing to admit it, or the flame of Eros is still alive and the partners in question are not doing what it takes to fan the flame so it can grow higher. These are two very different situations and a necessary part of self-work within a relationship is to clarify the problem.

In my favorite Pathwork Guide lecture - "The Forces of Love, Eros and Sex" - the Guide, channeled through Eva Broch, says this:

"Eros lifts the soul out of sluggishness, out of mere contentment and vegetation. It causes the soul to surge, to go out of itself. When this force comes upon even the most undeveloped people they become able to surpass themselves. Eros gives the soul a foretaste of unity and teaches the fearful psyche the longing for it. The more strongly one has experienced Eros, the less contentment will the soul find in the pseudo-security of separateness. How then is Eros different from love? Love is a permanent state in the soul. Love does not come and go at random; Eros does. Eros hits with sudden force, often taking a person unaware and even making them unwilling to go through the experience."

Yes. Many of us have had a taste of that, some of us more than a few times. The Guide calls it "Eros," most of us refer to it as being "in love." I often refer to it as the "Free Pass" from the Universe that gives us a taste of how great existence can be in physical form. But if as the Guide says, Eros can "come and go," then how can we get to "keep it" in the context of one relationship?

Well, the first part of the answer to that is kind of Zen, like Sting's lyric: "If you love somebody, set them free."

Mark Epstein, my favorite Buddhist psychotherapist, in his fantastic book, "GOING TO PIECES WITHOUT FALLING APART," says it this way:

"Clinging is as much of a problem in lovemaking as in the rest of life. In order for sexual relations to be deeply satisfying, there must be a yielding of this clinging in a manner that actually affirms the unknowability and separateness of the loved partner. It is the peculiar convergence of awe and appreciation with pleasure and release that characterizes the best sexual experiences. Separate and together cease to be mutually exclusive and instead become reciprocally enhancing and mutually informative. There is wisdom in this state, not just raw instinct."

So, Part One of how to keep Eros, like anything else you want to "keep," is to let it go. (I know. I know. Keep trying to wrap your head around it. It will come to you.)

Part Two is to try and penetrate that "unknowability" that Epstein refers to, and simultaneously allow your own hidden self to be penetrated, even though you will never be completely successful.

Here's the Guide again:

"Eros strengthens the curiosity to know the other being. As long as there is something new to find in the other soul and as long as you reveal yourself, Eros will live. The moment you believe you have found all there is to find, and have revealed all there is to reveal, Eros will leave. It is as simple as that with Eros. But where your great error comes in is that you believe there is a limit to the revealing of any soul, yours or another's. When a certain point of usually quite superficial revelation is reached, you are under the impression that this is all there is, and you settle down to a placid life without further searching."

Okay, to summarize - the way to keep Eros alive is to first, not cling or grip onto it, or onto the person who is the object of your desire, and second, to simultaneously seek to know that person at greater and greater depths while revealing yourself in the same way. Now, let's be honest - this is rarely done but most relationsihps, mainly because it requires very intensive and persistent self-examination and staying connected to the full range of feelings, including pain and sadness. Many more couples would rather either settle into a "comfortable" relationship without any passion, or have serial experiences with a lot of partners to get that initial rush when Eros provides its universal "Free Pass."

However, on those rare occasions when the "whatever-it-takes" effort is made, the result is a soaring, sublime experience of the depths of love and pleasure and soulfulness that is nothing less than the first and main reason we all became human. And know this, if you achieve such a state at any point in your lifetime, you won't care when it is or how old you are. You won't look back and regret that you didn't find such joy when you were younger. You'll be way too busy being happy and satisfied for regrets.

Now, can it all still end, even if you make all of the above efforts? Well, again the answer is a Zen "yes" and "no." Sometimes people come together for a particular soul purpose, to accomplish something together - like bringing a child into the world, or to work on a developmental task - like overcoming one's repetition compulsions from childhood up to a point. In such a case, the Eros that may have brought said couple together will come to the natural end of its lifespan between those two people. They will fall out of love. Not coincidentally, in such a situation, the couple will lose their motivation to continue the intensive, in-depth revelation process with their mate. So, couples counseling also comes to an end.

Which brings us to another subject for another day - how to end things. So much is damaged and lost during endings because we're so "bad" at them, and fear them so much, when in fact, a healthy ending can be the very crowning glory of a relationship when all of the love that was there and all that was accomplished can be integrated and made permanent in the psyche.

But again, that's a talk for another day.

"THE WISDOM OF PSYCHOPATHS?!"

Just checked out an interesting article, by one Robert Herritt, about an interesting book with the title: "The Wisdom of Psychopaths." Written by Cambridge research psychologist, Kevin Dutton, the premise of the book is that people with a Psychopathic Character Structure are not all "evil," and in fact, even have some admirable qualities. 

Here's Herrit on Dutton:

"The book delves into the science of psychopathy with the hope of uncovering how we can all improve our lives by unlocking our inner Ted Bundy (you too can be a psychopath!). And while such a 'Chicken Soup for the Soulless' literary aim might seem macabre, first consider that the trademarks of this condition—coolness under pressure, determination in the face of adversity, bulletproof self-confidence, and easy social charm, to name a few—are all characteristics that we strive to acquire, at least to some degree. A number of U.S. presidents exhibited distinct psychopathic traits, with John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton leading the charge. According to the Great British Psychopath Survey, a project launched by Dutton, CEOs, lawyers, media professionals, and salespersons top the list of most-psychopathic occupations in the U.K. Other notable psychopath-heavy professions include chef, civil servant, and—you’ve got to love this—clergyperson. It’s hard to imagine that a similar study of American professions would yield very different results."

Indeed. In one of the classes I taught on psychopathy, I duly noted that most of those who society considers "heros" - soldiers, cops, political and business leaders (well, that's changing perhaps) and of course, fictional characters from Captain Kirk and James Bond to almost any role Kathy Bates has played - are all psychopaths.

What, you say? Defenders of our country, enforcers of the law, psychopaths? Well, yes, but here's why you may be confused. The stereotype of a psychopath is actually based on a sub-division of psychopathy - "sociopathy." Mass murderers, serial killers, and the empty suits in politics and business who can cause the deaths or misfortunes of others with impunity merely for perverse pleasure or inordinate greed, these are sociopaths. In other words, they are at the extreme psychotic end of the psychopathic spectrum. All psychopathic characters do have certain traits in common (see the FPL post on the Psychopathic Character Structure HERE), but the degree can vary greatly. Still, cops and soldiers do kill. They just do it for what society considers noble reasons, but they would not have a role if they didn't have counterparts in their villains and enemies. 

To continue, while I would basically agree with Robert and Kevin, I would also refine their message somewhat.

Psychopathy, like every character structure, has at its core the Higher Self of the personality in question. No one in our time is without a character structure, true, but neither does a person exist who does not have a Higher Self underneath that character structure. The Higher Self that underlies each character structure is unique and imbued with qualities that we would all agree are positive. (See the FPL post: "All Our Higher Selves" HERE.)

The character structure itself, however, is fragile and dysfunctional, a frail conglomerate of defenses constructed by a desperate child to survive untenable circumstances in childhood. So when the authors describe the "coolness under pressure, determination in the face of adversity, bulletproof self-confidence, and easy social charm" of the psychopath, something should be made clear. If these apparent qualities are part of the psychopath's "mask," they are merely props, a persona covering over massive insecurities and fears in the Child Self. Provoked, the mask will give way to paranoia, rage and terror. 

However, underneath the character structure and its mask, the Higher Self of the psychopath does indeed embody great abilities as a leader, but one who doesn't seek power over anyone, but rather offers his or her personal power to bring people together to accomplish positive tasks humbly and cooperatively in harmony. A true leader doesn't need adversaries to defeat, nor titles of recognition. He or she just leads because it is their calling to do so.

Thanks, Kevin and Robert. There is a positive core in everyone.



REPOST: POLITICS WON'T MAKE IT INTO 4D, BUT OBAMA MIGHT!


"A2Person" writes:

Hi PL,
I continue to love following FPL. You've remarked how you don't focus as much on your blog on 3-D concerns - politics, ego-based structures, social conflicts, and the thrashings of the baby souls - as of late, and how you don't feel as reactive to such things as you once did. But I was curious if you have any thoughts, or would post anything, on the upcoming U.S. election? I've been viewing political processes and elections as less and less about actual policy issues and more as check-ins on where the collective consciousness of our society is at a given point in time. (Essentially, I'm see elections as a 3D vital sign on our collective 4-D health).
4 Years Ago, was the first time I felt the first inklings of what you call "The Wave," and it came from, of all people, the Millennials. Michael Moore remarked this week how, in 2008 Obama lost every age bracket to McCain except for the 18-29 year old demographic that overwhelmingly voted for him in record numbers - as did the Latino and African-American communities. Moreover, had it not been for the 18-29 year old age group, Hilary Clinton (no offense to her) would have been the 2008 democratic presidential nominee and not this somewhat obscure, unproven candidate. Obama is a Millennial/Gen Y candidate and the success of his campaign was a manifestation of that inner-movement among American youth. So, yes, go ahead and continue to bash my fellow Millennials - the narcissistic, pampered, Park-Slopish generation you write so much about, but maybe 2008 was the first time we ever felt, really felt enthusiasm for something larger than ourselves and our own ego gratification. That belief in 'hope' over 'fear' was palpable to many. That this surge of youthful energy was overly-idealistic and not grounded in reality explains the disappointed that the Gen Y's had in Obama post campaign (Shockingly to us, Obama the messiah turned out to be an actual politician once elected.) But, what can't be discounted is how an entire generation, raised on 1990s uber-consumerism and told how special they were by helicopter parents, connected to a deep transpersonal collective energy in 2008. 

2012, I'm curious. Where is that 2008 campaign energy now? Obama might be liked by a large section of the populace, but he has clearly lost his messianic halo. Alternatively, the intense, ungrounded hatred for the man remains strong on the right. Was Obama not able to overcome his rigid character structure? Is the 2008 campaign's surge of energy without follow-through a sign of Gen Y's fickleness? Or has that energy found more appropriate outlets - people and groups that vibrate to a higher frequency than politicians and egoistic institutions? If so, when can we expect the 3-D realm of politics to catch up with quiet shifts in consciousness that are happening daily?
Those are my thoughts. (Once again, I gave a rant disguised as a question!) I'd be interested to hear some of yours.
Cheers!

Here's PL:

Thanks for writing in, A2P, and for bringing up the subject of the upcoming election. It's true that I've been writing about things not political mainly these days, but I have been keeping my eye on 3D during that time.

Things are shifting. In fact, the reason our so-called political discourse has become so dramatically divided is because The Wave has created a time of acceleration and choice for everyone. There are no longer any neutral positions, as such. Right now, everyone's going one of three ways... and fast!

People are either riding the wave into 4th Dimensional consciousness, expanding, making connections, discovering who and what they really are, and that they do indeed create their own reality, or they are hunkering down, trying to hold onto 3D beliefs and behaviors and getting slammed hard in the process, or they are simply leaving the planet altogether through timely or untimely deaths, as such.

Politics is 3D. There really isn't a 4D version of politics. As we shift and raise our vibration, the dualistic ideas of separation will fall away, and so governing will give way to guidance, and leadership will not exercise power over humanity, but power for humanity.

President Obama is part of that shift, which began in earnest with his election. He vibrates at what you can consider a higher level for 3D, and is indeed being carried by the younger generations you mentioned. They are infusing him with some positive energy, for sure. But enlightened Mr. Obama is not. At least not yet.

Stay tuned, A2, it's going to be an amazing few months as we wind up 2012!

Thanks again for staying with Full Permission Living!

Best,
PL

TODAY'S QUOTE!


"When you are able to do more with less, you will then be able to do less and get more."
Bashar

THE WAVE IS HOT, TOO!

According to data from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), the globe recorded its warmest September on record in 2012. Global surface temperature records stretch all the way back to 1880. In the U.S., 2012 is on track to be the warmest year on record, not to forget that July of 2012 was the hottest recorded month ever. 

Whew! That Wave is hot!!

THE WAVE HITS MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL!

As all Yankee fans know by now, last night The Wave hit in the Bronx. Not only was the great New York baseball team in the midst of yet another dramatic finale to yet another dramatic game in the post-season, but this time, the ever-popular captain of the Yankees, Derek Jeter, leading the way through yet another championship run, was taken out.

Delirious only minutes earlier, fans at Yankee Stadium sat stunned in utter disbelief as they watched Jeter being helped off the field. Yep, the eventual Hall of Fame shortstop was hit by The Wave. The durable captain broke his left ankle on a routine play and is out for the rest of the post-season. 

Meanwhile, last week, right in the midst of a successful first round of the play-offs, Joe Girardi, manager of the Yankees, endured the death of his father, and only days before that, Oakland A's pitcher, Pat Nesheck, in the midst of celebrating his team's having made the play-offs, experienced the inexplicable sudden death of his newborn son less than 24 hours after the seemingly healthy baby was born. 


I am not being glib about these losses, folks, ranging from the unfortunate to the tragic. A few days ago, I wrote about this headline in the news: "U.S. Deaths Surpass 2.5 Million For The First Time." As I wrote in that post, not coincidentally (because there are no coincidences), I'd been expecting that headline, and was just wondering the day before, in fact, if there were any stats on the subject. And there was the piece with the stats. People are dropping like flies these days. Every week, I hear another story of someone who's suddenly left the planet or developed some fatal, or near-fatal disease, or had some calamity occur.


The Wave that I've been writing about regularly for the last two years is in full force and still accelerating as we head down the home stretch of 2012. What is The Wave? It is the surge of energy that has been sweeping change across the planet more and more, brought about by a collective intention that has been in place for quite a long time, as we think of it, to make the great transition (as the Pathwork Guide lecture refers to it HERE) from a 3rd dimensional level of consciousness to 4th and 5th dimensional consciousness.

In other words, from the deeper levels of our being, we have all agreed to change the "game" we've been playing for much of what we think of as our history, and now play a new game, one in which we awaken more fully to who and what we really are. In this game, we become conscious creators of our reality, rather than the unconscious creators we've been up until now.


What determines the ways in which one experiences the Wave is directly proportional to the level of openness to change and movement in each person. Where the Wave is meeting a closed system, it's taking its toll through hardships, generally. Where the Wave is experienced as a welcomed shift by the individual, abundance, vibrance in the body, higher love and creative expression are generally the rule. We can think of these two different places in dimensional terms. At the 3rd dimensional vibration, where ego, will and intellect rule, the political and financial systems are rife with corruption and collapsing out from under us, the environment is getting wantonly assaulted beyond repair, nature feels dangerous to our well-being, and competition, greed and violence are taken as endemic to being human. In the Third Dimension, shit happens. And it happens to you!


In the Fourth Dimension, shit never just happens. All "coincidences" are meaningful. Serendipity, deja vu, intuitions, one's sixth sense, are all understood as natural aspects of creativity and of creating reality. In fourth dimensional consciousness, all events are addressed by asking the same questions: "Why did I create this?" "Why did I attract this?" "What message is coming to me through these events" Is this what I prefer and choose to create? In Fourth Dimension reality, there are no victims, only creators, and instead of competition, greed and violence, there is collaboration, abundance and oneness.


So, back to the lead story on this post, why all these deaths? Well, because we are all one, because we operate both individually and collectively, and collectively, we've agreed to make this change, those who are not prepared or not willing to make the shift at this time while still here on planet Earth in physical form have chosen to leave. Or go into serious crisis mode.

This particular moment "in time" represents the opening of a significant window in our continuum, a moment when there is a great deal of energy available to make the transition. But the 2012 train is heading out of the station, and it will not be as "easy" to catch The Wave soon. Can you eventually catch another train? Absolutely. Ultimately, every being must evolve and continue to raise their vibrational frequencies on their way to full conscious oneness. Everyone "makes it," in other words. But how and when is always up to us.



PL FINDS HIS RETIREMENT HOME!

Yep. A DIAMOND PLANET! Astronomers have discovered a planet twice the size of Earth, made largely out of diamond, which is orbiting a star that is visible with the naked eye. The planet, called '55 Cancri e', orbits a sun-like star 40 light years away in the constellation of Cancer and is moving so fast that a year there lasts a mere 18 hours. Eighteen-hour years! Now that's acceleration! 

See ya!


UPDATE ON THE WAVE!


This headline was in the news today:  "U.S. Deaths Surpass 2.5 Million For The First Time."

Not coincidentally (because there are no coincidences), I'd been expecting that headline, was just wondering yesterday, in fact, if there were any stats on the subject. And there it was this morning. Yes, people are dropping like flies these days. Every week, I hear another story of someone who's suddenly left the planet or developed some fatal, or near-fatal disease, or had some calamity occur.

The Wave that I've been writing about regularly for the last two years is in full force and still accelerating as we head down the home stretch of 2012. What is The Wave? It is the surge of energy that has been sweeping change across the planet more and more, brought about by a collective intention that has been in place for quite a long time, as we think of it, to make the great transition (as the Pathwork Guide lecture refers to it HERE) from a 3rd dimensional level of consciousness to 4th and 5th dimensional consciousness.

In other words, from the deeper levels of our being, we have all agreed to change the "game" we've been playing for much of what we think of as our history, and now play a new game, one in which we awaken more fully to who and what we really are. In this game, we become conscious creators of our reality, rather than the unconscious creators we've been up until now.

What determines the ways in which one experiences the Wave is directly proportional to the level of openness to change and movement in each person. Where the Wave is meeting a closed system, it's taking its toll through hardships, generally. Where the Wave is experienced as a welcomed shift by the individual, abundance, vibrance in the body, higher love and creative expression are generally the rule. We can think of these two different places in dimensional terms. At the 3rd dimensional vibration, where ego, will and intellect rule, the political and financial systems are rife with corruption and collapsing out from under us, the environment is getting wantonly assaulted beyond repair, nature feels dangerous to our well-being, and competition, greed and violence are taken as endemic to being human. In the Third Dimension, shit happens. And it happens to you!


In the Fourth Dimension, shit never just happens. All "coincidences" are meaningful. Serendipity, deja vu, intuitions, one's sixth sense, are all understood as natural aspects of creativity and of creating reality. In fourth dimensional consciousness, all events are addressed by asking the same questions: "Why did I create this?" "Why did I attract this?" "What message is coming to me through these events" Is this what I prefer and choose to create? In Fourth Dimension reality, there are no victims, only creators, and instead of competition, greed and violence, there is collaboration, abundance and oneness.

So, back to the lead story on this post, why all these deaths? Well, because we are all one, because we operate both individually and collectively, and collectively, we've agreed to make this change, those who are not prepared or not willing to make the shift at this time while still here on planet Earth in physical form have chosen to leave. Or go into serious crisis mode.

This particular moment "in time" represents the opening of a significant window in our continuum, a moment when there is a great deal of energy available to make the transition. But the 2012 train is heading out of the station, and it will not be as "easy" to catch The Wave soon. Can you eventually catch another train? Absolutely. Ultimately, every being must evolve and continue to raise their vibrational frequencies on their way to full conscious oneness. Everyone "makes it," in other words. But how and when is always up to us.

All aboard!! 


"MOM" COMMENTS ON PL'S POST ABOUT "MILK AND COOKIES!" PL RESPONDS!

In a post entitled "TODAY'S BEST MIXED MESSAGE AD PICTURE!" I put up the picture below, finding it to be a clash of sensibilities to have one of the most natural and healthy forms of nourishment (breast milk) juxtaposed with one of the least (an Oreo cookie). 


 A mom recently wrote in with the following comment:

"I think this is interesting for a number of reasons. Amongst the shocking, bizarre, and quite frankly downright unacceptable stuff we see in movies, including kiddies movies (we walked out of Ice Age 4), I find this tame (my 6 year old would get it) even and worthy of a giggle because if you've ever nursed a child you will KNOW, yes PL "KNOW", that 1. No nursing mother's breasts look like THAT (unless its a Korean standard - which even then I doubt), secondly that if you put a camera in the face of a nursing child (not infant of course) they are likely to look at you in exactly the same way. they frown, they frown when they're nursing anyway, it takes concentration, and YOU'RE a distraction. 3. No nursing child is going to have ANY interest in an Oreo. Promise. Now call me crazy, but THAT is the simplicity with which i view this image. With all the taboos we are bombarded with daily, I really think its a good shot at getting attention, and from an advertisers point of view is likely to sell Oreos (to sleep deprived Moms and Dads maybe?). Why, please explain, is this controversial? with all the taboos we are exposed to that so few appear to flinch at. I see a lot of frighteningly off center stuff come out of Penguins of Madagascar and can think of far worthier violations to demonstrate against and create laws to prevent. So, if we stopped making this controversial it wouldn't be, but for now remains a good ad, because its up for discussion, if it wasn't controversial, it would be sweet and heartwarming. I think it is, but then I guess people prefer pics of cuddly pups and kittens to this, or worse images of war death and destruction that we see n the news everyday. Perhaps the rest of the values supported and espoused by advertisers are so savory and sound? or any other content we're exposed to on a daily basis. Surely images of nursing mothers with their infants should remind us of who we are. I don't see photographers blacking out images of the nipples of nursing tigers or any other animal for that matter. Oh dear. I hope this is put into stark perspective soon.
Hope everyone can just relax about the nursing mother - bared breast dilemma, its no biggie really, get over yourselves. Its not a trauma, its reality. One of the more reassuring ones in an ocean of ever more warped ones.
Mom - ex- USA resident, SA 


Here's PL:

Thanks for writing in, "Mom from SA"! I definitely appreciate what you are saying in your comment, and agree with most of it, I think, though I'm not sure if your notes actually apply to the intention in my my post. I was commenting on the ironic visual juxtaposition - mentioned above - of healthy and unhealthy, not on the exposure of a breast, nor even the use of the breast and baby for commercial purposes. I also agree with you that it is a clever ad, and many are much more insidious. Some readers of my "attachment parenting" posts have also misunderstood my criticism of Jamie Lynne Grumet and her exploitive misuse of the AP theory as reflective of some judgment about public breast-feeding or breast-feeding in general. Not at all. Nothing, in fact, could be further from the truth. My concerns about over-involved parenting are not translatable into a repressive attitude against nature and inhibition. This is Full Permission Living, remember? But not "full permission" to act out un-worked on negative impulses or unmet childhood needs on others.
Thanks again!

TODAY'S BASHAR QUOTE!


"Our Higher Self arranges time in such a way that we do not get what we want when we initially want it, only because it wants us to first accumulate certain experiences, certain skills, certain appreciations, connections with other people, certain awarenesses first so that when we do get to experience this thing we want, we will then be appreciating it and enjoying it on a much deeper and more profound level."
Bashar

GREAT GRAPHIC ON "HELICOPTER PARENTING" BY AN FPL READER!


An FPL reader, Allison Morris, contacted me to share a very relevant (and cool) graphic she helped create about the issues that arise when parents are over-involved in their offspring's lives, in this case with a focus on career. Allison read some of the FPL posts on the "Attachment Parenting" debate, and correctly thought I'd be interested in her statistics and take on the subject. Indeed, I am most appreciative, Allison, and you illustrate very cleverly how today's 20-somethings are actually falling behind previous generations in key areas of life as a result of what I (less tactfully than you, for sure) refer to as the narcissistic, vicarious acting out of parents through their children in a vain attempt to undo their own childhood injuries. 
The only words in your presentation I might split hairs about and take issue with are these: "Being friends with your parents is great..."
In my many years of practicing therapy, the most difficult cases are the ones in which a patients starts out the sharing of their history in a first session by saying that one or both of their parents were their "best friend." Whenever I hear that, now, I know it's going to be a long haul.
Thanks so much, Allison!
PL
Here's Allison's note to me, and her graphic below:


Hi Peter,
 
I’m reaching out to connect with you about a graphic I helped create which provides stats on how parents’ actions can impact students today and how the effects of “helicopter parenting” can be seen in college and even in the workplace.I came across this post on your site: http://fullpermissionliving.blogspot.com/2012/03/thoughtful-exchange-for-change-on.html – and given that you might have an interest.

Please Include Attribution to OnlineCollege.org With This Graphic Hovering Parents in the Workplace Infographic

THE BEATLES, BOND AND BEYOND!



It was fifty years ago today. 

The world was introduced to the first Beatles single and the first James Bond movie on the same day. Both “Love Me Do” and "Dr. No" debuted Oct. 5, 1962. The world was in the early stages of  a major transition, though few knew on that particular October day how momentous the changes would be. 

Both The Beatles and Bond in 2012 have stood the test of time, but while the Bond films barely changed the formula of Dr. No in the subsequent 21-going-on-22 feature films, the Beatles instigated change and innovation continuously throughout their catalogue of over 300 songs. Even 5 decades after Love Me Do and 4 decades since their break-up as a band, and the subsequent premature deaths of John Lennon and George Harrison, the Beatles' influence and popularity are still huge. 

I can still remember sitting on the livingroom floor, barely 2 feet from the TV screen, mesmerized, on February 9, 1964, as Ed Sullivan introduced the "lads from Liverpool" to a screaming crowd of young fans in America for the first time. I was nine-and-a-half years old and I was personally changed forever. I knew something extraordinary was happening, and not just to me, but to the whole world. Without knowing why, really, I felt thoroughly exhilarated listening to the exuberant renditions of "All My Loving," "'Till There Was You," and "She Loves You." My optimism about life as a human being soared. Music and love, love and music... I began taking piano lessons in earnest and had my first infatuation with a girl named "Judy" shortly thereafter.

Meanwhile, somehow, with my father and best friend, "Cookie," in tow, I was able to see Dr. No in a movie theater, even though for 1962 (I was eight), the movie was pretty sexy and scary (Remember Ursula Andress in that bikini and that damn tarantula crawling up Bond's naked chest?! I don't remember if there was even a rating system as such back then.) But as fascinated as I was by this unflappable, irresistible, and invincible British spy on the big screen, played flawlessly by Sean Connery (There never was any other James Bond to me.), it turned out to be the James Bond novels by Ian Fleming that really captured my adolescent mind and developing sensibilities during the heart of the Sixties.

The Bond in the books was flawed, at times actually shaken (not stirred). He sometimes needed the help of others, and he made mistakes. He was human, in other words. James Bond also was an expert on body language (a pre-saging of what would become a professional calling in adulthood for me), and he was an intensely sensate being, enjoying the pleasures of fine food and drink, and of course, of love, Eros and sex (And unlike in the movies, James Bond in the novels fell in love and had his heart broken a few times.). The enjoyment and indulgence of those sensory pleasures also become a permanent part of my personality ongoing, and here's something I discovered in recently re-reading the novels decades later - it turns out that James Bond, in "Thunderball," actually even went to a spa and did a Dr. Schulze-like cleanse, including a vegan diet, body work and hot-and-cold-showers, all regular parts of my health maintenance process today!

So, The Beatles and James Bond, one a group whose musical message was "All You Need Is Love", the other a secret agent with a license to kill who loved all things physical and sensory - not at first blush a likely combination to become harmonizing influences on the same individual. 

Yet, here I am.


You see, we create our own reality from our inner intentions and state of being, and from whatever beliefs we may still be holding onto, as well. I know that "love is all you need" and that there's "nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be." I also love fine dining, great sex and a good, extra dry martini.  


Cheers!


 

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