"It wasn't until I made this connection that I could truly forgive everyone. It comes and goes but once I made the realization it was akin to passing thru a doorway. Thanks for your writings and the life you're living and sharing."
Rico
PL: Thank you, Rico! And by the way, the trip on the other side of that doorway is marvelous! Enjoy!
IF YOUR PARENT WAS A HOARDER, YOU DID NOT HAVE A "NORMAL" CHILDHOOD!
I'm sorry to do this, but here's the truth: whenever a new patient arrives to my office and begins the session by saying that they had a "normal" childhood, or that a parent was their "best friend," or some such idealization, I know it's going to be a bit of a row to hoe. It's not that the purpose of therapy is to trash your parents, or to blame them for all of your dysfunctions, but I've been waiting for over 30 years to meet someone, in or out of therapy, who had a "normal" childhood. What most people mean by "normal," is "typical." But the fact that the majority of families are riddled with disorder, does not mean it's normal.
There's a new memoir out called, "COMING CLEAN," written by Kimberly Rae Miller, about growing up in a "hoarder household." I have a great deal of compassion for Kimberly, and appreciate her courage in revealing the details of her childhood trauma, but as a practitioner who has worked with adult children of OCD parents, I have to set the record straight because denial is one of the main defenses that slows down the healing process in therapy. Again, while it's not useful to denigrate or slander our parents, it is necessary to one's self-actualization to acknowledge the wounds suffered at the hands of our primary caretakers, and to release the rage and sorrow those injuries caused us to suppress and stockpile in our emotional and physical bodies.
Here's an excerpt from Kimberly's book:
"In many ways, I had a really normal childhood. I had parents who were there for everything—every soccer game, every dance recital. My parents wanted me, and I always felt that."
And then:
"The hard thing was in knowing my normal was really, really abnormal for the rest of the world. I always felt this compulsive need to hide who I really was from the rest of the world. So no one would ever see my house or see our car because there were things in our car. I was incredibly shy as a child because I just didn’t want to be noticed. I didn’t want to bring attention to me or the way we lived."
I am not just nitpicking semantics here, folks. How we talk to ourselves about our our experiences, and the words we use in our inner lives, act as hypnotic suggestions that then create the reality we live out. In order to say "I had a normal childhood," while simultaneously saying "I wanted to be invisible to the world" because of a parent's disorder, requires the offspring in this situation to split themselves internally in order to hold the contradiction in their consciousness.
"Splitting," a compartmentalization of opposite and conflicting affect states, is a defense mechanism in which a person, when faced with emotional stress or conflict, views himself or others as all good or all bad, or alternates between idealizing and devaluing the self or another; positive and negative qualities in the self or others are unable to be integrated into cohesive images. This splitting causes many difficulties in every area of life.
Folks, if you face the genuine slings and arrows of your childhoods, you will not end up hating your parents... or yourself. You will arrive to a natural compassion for them and an organic forgiveness. But if you cover up and confuse yourself, it will be for no one's sake. It will be to the detriment of your health and well-being, and equally, it won't benefit your parents or anyone else either.
The truth will always set you free.
There's a new memoir out called, "COMING CLEAN," written by Kimberly Rae Miller, about growing up in a "hoarder household." I have a great deal of compassion for Kimberly, and appreciate her courage in revealing the details of her childhood trauma, but as a practitioner who has worked with adult children of OCD parents, I have to set the record straight because denial is one of the main defenses that slows down the healing process in therapy. Again, while it's not useful to denigrate or slander our parents, it is necessary to one's self-actualization to acknowledge the wounds suffered at the hands of our primary caretakers, and to release the rage and sorrow those injuries caused us to suppress and stockpile in our emotional and physical bodies.
Here's an excerpt from Kimberly's book:
"In many ways, I had a really normal childhood. I had parents who were there for everything—every soccer game, every dance recital. My parents wanted me, and I always felt that."
And then:
"The hard thing was in knowing my normal was really, really abnormal for the rest of the world. I always felt this compulsive need to hide who I really was from the rest of the world. So no one would ever see my house or see our car because there were things in our car. I was incredibly shy as a child because I just didn’t want to be noticed. I didn’t want to bring attention to me or the way we lived."
I am not just nitpicking semantics here, folks. How we talk to ourselves about our our experiences, and the words we use in our inner lives, act as hypnotic suggestions that then create the reality we live out. In order to say "I had a normal childhood," while simultaneously saying "I wanted to be invisible to the world" because of a parent's disorder, requires the offspring in this situation to split themselves internally in order to hold the contradiction in their consciousness.
"Splitting," a compartmentalization of opposite and conflicting affect states, is a defense mechanism in which a person, when faced with emotional stress or conflict, views himself or others as all good or all bad, or alternates between idealizing and devaluing the self or another; positive and negative qualities in the self or others are unable to be integrated into cohesive images. This splitting causes many difficulties in every area of life.
Folks, if you face the genuine slings and arrows of your childhoods, you will not end up hating your parents... or yourself. You will arrive to a natural compassion for them and an organic forgiveness. But if you cover up and confuse yourself, it will be for no one's sake. It will be to the detriment of your health and well-being, and equally, it won't benefit your parents or anyone else either.
The truth will always set you free.
TOLLE FOR PRESIDENT?!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us."
Hail to the Chief?
You probably already know the above quote. Nelson Mandela famously used it in an inaugural address. It is generally attributed to spiritual writer ("Return To Love") and teacher (" A Course In Miracles"), Marianne Williamson, who recently made headlines by announcing that she is... wait for it... running for Congress!
That's right. Williamson is running in California's 33rd district, looking to oust long-term Congressman Henry Waxman.
Well, why not? Spiritual teachers creating a new wave in government? Love and light as the foundation of a political campaign? Consciousness and enlightenment as the measure of a candidate's capacity to govern?
Folks, let your imagination have a go at it. This is 5D, remember? Anything is possible.
Congresswoman Marianne Williamson? How about Congressman Depak Chopra? Or Senator Wayne Dyer? Attorney General Shakti Gawain? Secretary of State Neale Donald Walsch? Health and Human Services Secretary Louise Hay?And President Eckhart Tolle?!
Hey... How's this for a government?
Hail to the Chief?
"BECKI" LIKES PL'S POST ON VULNERABILITY!
"I really like your thinking on this. It makes so much sense and actually helps me feel more of my own power. Thanks!
Becki"
PL:
You're welcome, Becki, and thanks for commenting.
Becki"
PL:
You're welcome, Becki, and thanks for commenting.
WHAT DO CEO'S, RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS AND CHILDREN OF UNHAPPY DIVORCE HAVE IN COMMON? LYING!
That's the conclusion of a study conducted by Jason Childs of the University of Regina in Canada.
While men and women showed no significant difference in the frequency of lying per their gender, and while the offspring of single parent homes where either a parent had died or the separation was amicable also showed a low degree of lying tendencies, dishonesty was directly proportional to one's religiosity, to one's majoring in business or to growing up in a less-than-harmonious divorce situation.
This may not sound very profoundly therapeutic here, folks, but... DUH!!!
In each of the three mentioned situations, one has to either lie to others, to oneself or both in order to maintain some sense of power, however false or fleeting, under the duress of those cultures. When the underlying motives of an institution are power over rather than power for, dishonesty becomes the main means to those ends.
Are all children who grow up caught in the middle of two parents in a state of conflict and disunity doomed to become liars? Well, no, because there's always therapy. Are all individuals whose trajectory takes them to Wall Street, or to church, inevitably going to embrace dishonesty as a lifestyle at some point at some level?
Uhhh...
While men and women showed no significant difference in the frequency of lying per their gender, and while the offspring of single parent homes where either a parent had died or the separation was amicable also showed a low degree of lying tendencies, dishonesty was directly proportional to one's religiosity, to one's majoring in business or to growing up in a less-than-harmonious divorce situation.
This may not sound very profoundly therapeutic here, folks, but... DUH!!!
In each of the three mentioned situations, one has to either lie to others, to oneself or both in order to maintain some sense of power, however false or fleeting, under the duress of those cultures. When the underlying motives of an institution are power over rather than power for, dishonesty becomes the main means to those ends.
Are all children who grow up caught in the middle of two parents in a state of conflict and disunity doomed to become liars? Well, no, because there's always therapy. Are all individuals whose trajectory takes them to Wall Street, or to church, inevitably going to embrace dishonesty as a lifestyle at some point at some level?
Uhhh...
FOLLOW-UP TO: "GET UP... AND TAKE A NAP!"
"Napping, meditating, anything that gives your mind a bit of respite from the ever-quickening rat race of modern day life are essential to allow your brain to recover. And here’s the kicker (which we all pretty much already know but haven’t quite put into practice): Downtime increases productivity."
The above is from a piece on Truthdig entitled: "Americans Need More Down Time-Seriously." This is a subject always near the front of my consciousness. A while ago, I posted excerpts from another piece on the Huffington Post that was entitled: "Why Companies Should Insist That Employees Take Naps," by Tony Scwartz, author of the book, The Way We're Working Isn't Working.
Folks, I started taking naps in the late 1980's, at the same time that I began meditating, and I have never stopped. More than twenty-five years later, both meditating and napping are still a regular part of my life, and very often, they overlap as the same event. Lasting anywhere from 15 to 50 minutes , prime nap time for me is roughly sometime between 2 and 4 PM, but it can be almost anytime if schedule dictates. Yes, there's always time for a quick dip.
Here's Tony Schwartz:
"The best time for a nap is between 1 and 3 p.m., when the body most craves a period of sleep. The ideal length for a workplace nap is 30 minutes or less, which assures that you won't fall into the deeper stages of sleep, and awake with that loopy feeling scientists call 'sleep inertia."
"A nap," argues Mathew Walker, a sleep researcher at Berkeley, "not only rights the wrong of prolonged wakefulness, but at a neurocognitive level, it moves you beyond where you were before you took a nap."
The notion of solving an intractable mental problem by "sleeping on it," which many have found effective, speaks to Walker's point.
Interesting, what Schwartz and Walker have to say, from a strictly physical/linear perspective, and I do agree with the conclusion, as do the Italians, Mexicans and many other cultures who consider the early-to-mid afternoon hours prime siesta time.
From a spiritual perspective, though, there is another way to understand the value of napping.
I knew back in the 80's that not only was my capacity to nap and my practicing meditation connected in terms of my growing ability to relax my mind and body, but that my relationship between physical and non-physical reality was somehow involved.
"Seth," the spiritual entity channeled over a course of 20 years or so by Jane Roberts, claimed that a 4 to 6-hour block of sleep during the night, "reinforced by whatever nap feels natural," would be the "ideal." "In such circumstances," Seth says, "there are not the great artificial divisions created between the two states of consciousness. The conscious mind is better able to remember and assimilate its dreaming experience, and in dreams the self can use its waking experience more efficiently."
Seth goes on to say that this kind of fluid sleeping situation comes into being naturally as human beings get older, but because of our beliefs, we consider ourselves to be suffering from insomnia, and cannot then utilize the experience properly. "Both the conscious and unconscious would operate far more effectively under an abbreviated sleeping program," according to Seth, "and for those involved in 'creative' endeavors, this kind of schedule would bring greater intuition and applied knowledge"
Indeed, I have found that the 3 AM wake-up, or the 3 PM nap break, when I give in to the process, has frequently led to inspirations in my work as a writer.
Bottom line, folks, taking naps can have great benefits for both your physical and mental health, spiritual awareness and creative expression. So, if you were counting on sleeping in this weekend, get up... and then take a nap later, while you're TiVo-ing the Yankee game.
The above is from a piece on Truthdig entitled: "Americans Need More Down Time-Seriously." This is a subject always near the front of my consciousness. A while ago, I posted excerpts from another piece on the Huffington Post that was entitled: "Why Companies Should Insist That Employees Take Naps," by Tony Scwartz, author of the book, The Way We're Working Isn't Working.
Folks, I started taking naps in the late 1980's, at the same time that I began meditating, and I have never stopped. More than twenty-five years later, both meditating and napping are still a regular part of my life, and very often, they overlap as the same event. Lasting anywhere from 15 to 50 minutes , prime nap time for me is roughly sometime between 2 and 4 PM, but it can be almost anytime if schedule dictates. Yes, there's always time for a quick dip.
Here's Tony Schwartz:
"The best time for a nap is between 1 and 3 p.m., when the body most craves a period of sleep. The ideal length for a workplace nap is 30 minutes or less, which assures that you won't fall into the deeper stages of sleep, and awake with that loopy feeling scientists call 'sleep inertia."
"A nap," argues Mathew Walker, a sleep researcher at Berkeley, "not only rights the wrong of prolonged wakefulness, but at a neurocognitive level, it moves you beyond where you were before you took a nap."
The notion of solving an intractable mental problem by "sleeping on it," which many have found effective, speaks to Walker's point.
Interesting, what Schwartz and Walker have to say, from a strictly physical/linear perspective, and I do agree with the conclusion, as do the Italians, Mexicans and many other cultures who consider the early-to-mid afternoon hours prime siesta time.
From a spiritual perspective, though, there is another way to understand the value of napping.
I knew back in the 80's that not only was my capacity to nap and my practicing meditation connected in terms of my growing ability to relax my mind and body, but that my relationship between physical and non-physical reality was somehow involved.
"Seth," the spiritual entity channeled over a course of 20 years or so by Jane Roberts, claimed that a 4 to 6-hour block of sleep during the night, "reinforced by whatever nap feels natural," would be the "ideal." "In such circumstances," Seth says, "there are not the great artificial divisions created between the two states of consciousness. The conscious mind is better able to remember and assimilate its dreaming experience, and in dreams the self can use its waking experience more efficiently."
Seth goes on to say that this kind of fluid sleeping situation comes into being naturally as human beings get older, but because of our beliefs, we consider ourselves to be suffering from insomnia, and cannot then utilize the experience properly. "Both the conscious and unconscious would operate far more effectively under an abbreviated sleeping program," according to Seth, "and for those involved in 'creative' endeavors, this kind of schedule would bring greater intuition and applied knowledge"
Indeed, I have found that the 3 AM wake-up, or the 3 PM nap break, when I give in to the process, has frequently led to inspirations in my work as a writer.
Bottom line, folks, taking naps can have great benefits for both your physical and mental health, spiritual awareness and creative expression. So, if you were counting on sleeping in this weekend, get up... and then take a nap later, while you're TiVo-ing the Yankee game.
TODAY'S QUOTE! (HOW YOU DEFINE IT IS WHAT YOU GET!)
“Understand that no matter what anyone else’s intention is towards you, you always, all of you, have the opportunity to decide that only a positive effect will result for you in your life regarding any experience because your physical reality is only the product of how you define it, and if you define it in a positive way, you’ll only get a positive result no matter whether someone else has a negative intention towards you or not. That’s how it works. That’s physics!”
Bashar
Bashar
WOLF WHISPERER MUSICAL PRODIGY SEES COLORS IN SOUNDS!
Her name is Helene Grimaud. She is 43 years old, though her appearance is ageless. While she was born and raised in France, she blithely says, "I always thought it wasn't where I came from." She lives with wolves, plays the piano with stunning virtuosity, and she is gifted with "synesthesia" (the ability to see colors in sound), which is considered a "condition," of course, by mainstream medicine.
Folks, this is 5D! Where do you think she is from?
Folks, this is 5D! Where do you think she is from?