FULL PERMISSION LIVING is an approach to healing and self-actualization, but moreso, it is an approach to living life as it is naturally meant to be lived. Full Permission Living is the based on the understanding that human beings are, by first nature, sane, loving, cooperative, creative, humorous, intelligent, productive and naturally self-regulating. Full Permission Living rests on the foundation of truth that all people are entitled to live pleasure-filled, spontaneous, lives without guilt, shame or oppressive inner rules and prohibitions. Indeed, we are meant to live with full inner permission to follow our natural inner guidance and our inborn pleasure instinct to seek out gratification in all of our actions and endeavors, and that such a way of living always benefits those around us and those that we love. On this blog, we will explore ways in which we can reconnect to our true selves and live lives of physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and material fulfillment, while remaining in a state of harmony with others and with the world around us. We will discover the truth that life is meant to get better and better as time progresses, that growing up, maturing and aging is not at all a deteriorating process, but rather one in which the individual becomes more and more potent and powerful in all areas until the very end of a lifetime. We can discover that everyone has everything already built in that is necessary to achieve the fulfillment of their deepest desires. And it's no secret! Contact PETER LOFFREDO at: email@example.com
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
No, I'm not just trying to be provocative or politically incorrect here in sharing this sixth installment of The Truth About Everything: "We are not all the same." I do understand, though, that people may find this truth and this particular blog post offensive at first blush. But hear me out.
Of course, in our society, we are all (at least technically) equal under the law, and equally entitled to our "inalienable rights" to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." And more deeply, everyone on Earth is part of the great oneness of All That Is, and all living beings are worthy of unconditional love, as set forth in Truth #2. None are abandoned by Source. Ever.
However... a main cause of many personal and social conflicts, even of wars, is that we do not recognize that we are also different from each other in some very significant ways, and I am not referring to customs or languages, but something essentially much deeper.
For several years in the 1990s, I struggled with a riddle as a therapist. Why would some patients I worked with in therapy progress further and more rapidly than others when their overall character structure, relative backgrounds, childhood experiences and genuine commitment to their process was pretty much the same, and my approach and commitment as their therapist was a constant? What was the "X factor" in my clients' progressions through their self-work? Why did some seem to have different "ceilings" or thresholds as to how far they were able to raise their consciousnesses?
At a certain point in my pondering, I began drawing the conclusion that it must be a soul/energy issue. In other words, it seemed to me that some human beings incarnated with more of their Higher Self consciousness in tow, so to speak. I thought, perhaps in the same way that we devote different amounts of energy to different areas of our lives - work, love, child-rearing, leisure - maybe our Higher Selves invest different amounts of energy into different lifetimes. This idea seemed to work, seemed to make sense, but yet I didn't feel quite settled with it.
Then, not shortly after I considered the above idea, I came across a book called, "Upcoming Changes," by Joya Pope. The book was interesting enough until I got to the chapters on "Soul Ages." As I eagerly read that material, the proverbial lightbulb went off big time. Click. Click. Click. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now, it made sense.
The information Pope channeled basically laid out systematically and eloquently how just as human beings go through a physical developmental process, so too do our spiritual selves go through a process of growth and evolution. In other words, just as we grow from babies to adults physically over the course of one lifetime, our souls also evolve over many lifetimes through stages similar to infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood and elder. Her descriptions of the various soul ages were so spot on, and the implications so profound, that they dramatically effected my understanding of people, and of our world, not to mention shifting the way I worked and thought as a therapist.
"On each physical plane, existence changes and deepens the essence's point of view. This involves going through developmental levels - Infant, Baby, Young, Mature, and Old Soul. This is an extraordinarily long 'game' we are talking about, at least from the earthly perspective. Soul age refers to how a person has grown from experience on the planet, not just to how many lifetimes he or she has lived. No person, essence or entity is "ahead" or "behind" any other, but is simply occupying another place in the continuous circle leading to and from the Tao. Ways of being are supposed to be different in different developmental stages; at some point we experience it all, moving continually along to different levels of understanding and responsibility."
Wow! So, just as there are physical babies, there are baby souls. Just as there are physical adults, there are adult souls. Etc. Etc. And just as it would be irrational to expect a physical baby to be able to feed and shelter itself, or to drive a car or have sex, it is equally irrational to expect a baby soul, even in an adult physical body, to attain higher states of consciousness much beyond the accomplishments of reflex and survival. Baby souls, in other words, generally live simple lives, with simplistic beliefs, focused on getting their basic needs met, very often by seeking others to manage the provision of those needs.
"Structure helps Baby Souls to feel comfortable in the world. They want to be directed and therefore seek out higher authorities who are willing to lay out clear rules for them. As a small example of this, they would rarely defend their child to the school principal, but push to make the child act acceptably to the teachers and administration. Sometimes a Baby Soul will seek out - even again and again - discipline from the prison system as a way to civilize himself. This soul age will hold traditional religious leaders in esteem, turn doctors into gods, and likely feel their country, their army, and certain politicians, can do no wrong." [Not to be political here, but obviously, the so-called "Conservative Movement" in our society could perhaps more accurately be called the "Baby Soul Society." Sorry, I couldn't resist.] The personal and social ramifications of this understanding, or the lack of it, are tremendous. If you are a mature soul and you mistakenly assume that your young soul boyfriend is also a mature soul, you will conclude in frustration that his self-centered egotism is a deliberate assault on your integrity, rather than a measure of his "immaturity" at the soul level. Instead of accepting who he is, and moving on to a relationship with someone who is on your level, you will stay and fight, futilely, to try and get him to be someone he is not yet ready to be. Likewise, if a predominantly mature soul country, like the United States (believe it or not), assumes that baby soul countries, like Iraq or Afghanistan, are maturational equals (in spite of the fact that they require women to hide their faces, still publicly stone people to death for adultery and commit suicide in hopes that there will be virgins in Heaven for them to have sex with), then we will uselessly bomb them into oblivion instead of helping them feel more secure and less threatened in the world, while simultaneously setting appropriate boundaries and restrictions (disarming them)on what they are allowed to do within the human community. (And remember, it is in the mistaken belief that they could be equal partners that we sold them many of their weapons in the first place.) Now, like all of these Truths About Everything, one's first reaction to this one might be that the information presented here is not only radical, but potentially inflammatory. But would be a misunderstanding. As Shakespeare said: "All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players." In other words, if life here in our world is a play, which essentially it is, then each of us, whatever role we play, is an actor whose role at any given time in the play may be of child or adult, villain or hero, leader or follower, but as actors, as souls, again, we are all equally worthy of all that life has to offer. We don't believe, of course, that a child deserves to be less safe, healthy or happy than an adult does, but we do know that a child is not ready to provide for the common good, yet, nor offer guidance, leadership or wisdom for others, yet, either. They are still learning how to survive and thrive in physical reality and must be taught this by their elders. Children, and young souls, are narcissistic by nature, in other words. Mature and old souls are more altruistic and giving by nature. This is why old souls live lifetimes primarily as teachers in one way or another. After you read the soul age material, look around you, at everyone, and consider what soul age you are dealing with in each relationship. You will find your perspective and your levels of frustration shifting when you do. And remember, don't give the car keys to a 3-year old!
Please, APA... no PRFS! It's bad enough I had to write a post decrying your label, "Foot Orgasm Syndrome," in a recent post. [NOTE: APA = American Psychiatric Association; PRFS = Partner Replacement Fantasy Syndrome] Yes, there is an article on this subject. It's in Slate, and it asks the question of whether or not it's "emotional cheating" on a love partner to be fantasizing about somebody else during sex? In a pretty responsible way, the article doesn't take a simplistic yes or no position, nor does the resident expert quoted throughout the piece, David Schnarch, a renowned sex therapist who helps long-term couples work through waning desires. Schnarch says, and I agree with him to this extent, that the only time fantasizing is a "problem" in a relationship is if it regularly takes the place of actual sex with your partner. True, David, though relevant here is that most people don't know the difference between a fetish and aperversion. A fetish is a fascination, or "fixation," as Freud called it, with a particular act or object that gets the fetishist aroused, which then leads to a desire for actual sex and orgasm. (See FPL post HERE.) A perversion, on the other hand, is a fixation that takes the place of actual sex with a partner, or the orgasm experience. Just a little technical information, folks. Schnark goes on to talk about why fantasies of others may come into the sex life of loving partners: “Boredom in the bedroom isn’t a sign that you’re not sexually compatible; it’s a sign that you need to take another growth step that will make the two of you nervous." Yes to that, David, if by "nervous" you mean in reaction to being open, revealed and excited, as in charged up with Eros! (Read the amazing Pathwork Guide Lecture on "Love, Eros and Sex" HERE) Great sex, which at the highest levels comes with Eros, makes us nervous, because it blows us out of our limited physical vibration and connects us with higher dimensions of our selves, as high as 9th dimensional consciousness in some cases. That's high! Here's a quote from another great Pathwork Guide Lecture, "The Spiritual Symbolism and Significance of Sexuality": "In the human realm the power of sexuality can, in its most ideal form, be the greatest 'representative' of spiritual existence. There is no other human experience that conveys so fully what spiritual bliss, oneness, and timelessness are: the timeless Now, beyond the confines of time." So, look, folks, and I do mean "look." Don't judge. Just observe, see where you're at. If you use fantasy in a way that enhances your sex life with your partner, then why not? Even better if you can share your fantasy with your partner to heat and stir things up even more. On the other hand, if your fantasy life is a substitute for the real thing, then some self-work in the area of intimacy might be called for. Finally, you can read the FPL "Truth About Everything, Part One: Sex is the Most Powerful Way to Access Source Energy" HERE. Oh. And have fun!