tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8008810052310749969.post8217983338330671028..comments2024-03-27T16:24:13.116-04:00Comments on FULL PERMISSION LIVING: "I Just Wish He Would Have An Affair!" (More on the Pursuit of Eros!)Peter Loffredohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11940970263018875931noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8008810052310749969.post-38395935251558179972012-03-14T15:31:55.299-04:002012-03-14T15:31:55.299-04:00I recently had a lengthy dialogue with a friend an...I recently had a lengthy dialogue with a friend and mentor of mine about this very subject. Married to his wife for over 20 years, he described to me a sort of cyclical process of falling in and falling-out of love. "While I always *love* my wife, I am not always in-love with her," was how he phrased it and he went on to describe the cycle in which the two of them continually fall in-love and fall out-of-love only to fall in-love once again, and how they have built their relationship by enduring, accepting and celebrating this overall cycle together. This approach suggests that people are perhaps too hasty to end a relationship when eros/in-loveness initially fades. Moreover, it suggests that a capacity for a long term partnership is the ability to respect and care for a person during those inevitable troughs of "out-of-loveness." I'm wondering if you had any comment on this approach. There is, on one end of the continuum, a 'staying-in-a-relationship-long-past-the-expiration-of-eros' problem; but are there not also problems of impatience, seeking instant gratification, and premature romantic endings at the firs sign of trouble? (Especially for us me-me-me, now-now-now Millennials, it’s challenging to discern the difference!)A2personhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01479090205650652726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8008810052310749969.post-74809971639492323662012-03-12T15:04:31.704-04:002012-03-12T15:04:31.704-04:00As I understand it -We all CREATE our own reality-...As I understand it -We all CREATE our own reality- which means we are creating these experiences for a reason -nothing is random or coincidence and nothing is "taken" from us without our consent. If your explanation were true-"Unexpectedly and for no apparent reason" Wouldn't it stand to reason that the person in question is living an unconscious life - at best? It seems to describe an adult deep in denial about their own intentions and with little or no self-reflection and no sense of their own ability to make choices. I echo these words...Choice, choice, choice. Choices, we all have them, every moment of everyday, we make them unconsciously or consciously it's your choice.<br />If you were to release any judgement or guilt and just let yourself be OK with falling in or out of love- couldn't it then be OK to consider the fact that we have chosen to do so?Shakamazarnoreply@blogger.com