Will Smith (as "Baggar Vance" in "THE LEGEND OF BAGGAR VANCE")
TODAY'S QUOTE
“Inside each and every one of us is our one, true authentic swing. Something we was born with. Something that's ours and ours alone. Something that can't be learned... something that's got to be remembered. You got to seek that place with your soul... Seek it with your hands.. Don't think about it... Feel it... Your hands is wiser than your head ever gonna be...”
Will Smith (as "Baggar Vance" in "THE LEGEND OF BAGGAR VANCE")
Will Smith (as "Baggar Vance" in "THE LEGEND OF BAGGAR VANCE")
AM I MISSING SOMETHING?!
Almost a year ago, I posted a bit about the idea that was going around of extending term-limits in NYC so Mayor Bloomberg could be elected - again! I didn't get it then, and I really don't get it now. What has this guy done to deserve extra terms??
The MTA, already running one of the worst mass transit systems in the world, is unbelievably saying that we should expect in the very near future "deep service cuts and a fare increase!!"
WHAT?!
This is such a fascinating time, one in which stupidity, recklessness and malfeasance are regularly rewarded with wealth and bonuses. What's going on? I am astounded by what people consider an acceptable level of competence. I must presume that we are hitting some kind of bottom, so that we can elevate ourselves to the next level.
Anyway, here's what I wrote a year ago. I just had to get this off my chest - again!
"BOOO!!! I have been living in New York City for 30 years, through Mayors Koch, Dinkins, Guiliani and Bloomberg, and I have to say that the infrastructure and the schools are in the worst shape they've ever been in since 1978. Whether via subway, bus, cab or car, it is impossible to get around in this city and it is the most expensive it's ever been trying to boot. And with 2 kids in elementary school, in what is considered to be one of the better districts in town, I am appalled at what is passing for education. Uninspired curriculums, exhausted and harried teachers, mediocre at best art and athletic programs and crumbling buildings. Are you kidding me? Running for another term? I don't know anyone who has ever been able to tell me one thing Mr. Bloomberg has done to improve this city except ban smoking. Gimme a break!"
The MTA, already running one of the worst mass transit systems in the world, is unbelievably saying that we should expect in the very near future "deep service cuts and a fare increase!!"
WHAT?!
This is such a fascinating time, one in which stupidity, recklessness and malfeasance are regularly rewarded with wealth and bonuses. What's going on? I am astounded by what people consider an acceptable level of competence. I must presume that we are hitting some kind of bottom, so that we can elevate ourselves to the next level.
Anyway, here's what I wrote a year ago. I just had to get this off my chest - again!
"BOOO!!! I have been living in New York City for 30 years, through Mayors Koch, Dinkins, Guiliani and Bloomberg, and I have to say that the infrastructure and the schools are in the worst shape they've ever been in since 1978. Whether via subway, bus, cab or car, it is impossible to get around in this city and it is the most expensive it's ever been trying to boot. And with 2 kids in elementary school, in what is considered to be one of the better districts in town, I am appalled at what is passing for education. Uninspired curriculums, exhausted and harried teachers, mediocre at best art and athletic programs and crumbling buildings. Are you kidding me? Running for another term? I don't know anyone who has ever been able to tell me one thing Mr. Bloomberg has done to improve this city except ban smoking. Gimme a break!"
THIS MORNING'S QUOTE
"You know it's funny this morning outside of Penn Station I saw a guy huffing glue out of a paper bag, and he was making more sense than Michelle Bachmann was making. I can't believe it. You need to pass a written test to drive a car in this country but I bet this woman can't even write her name in the ground with a stick. I mean it's just unbelievable to me that this person is in the Congress."
Matt Taibbi
Bachmann: "We're going to keep fighting for our freedom, Sean."
Hannity: "And against tyranny."
PL: BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!
Matt Taibbi
Bachmann: "We're going to keep fighting for our freedom, Sean."
Hannity: "And against tyranny."
PL: BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!
TODAY'S BONUS QUOTE
"Inherent in man are evolutionary constructive forces, which urge him to realize his given potentialities, that man by his very nature and of his own accord, strives toward self-realization, and that his values evolve from such striving. With such a belief in an autonomous striving toward self-realization, we do not need an inner straight jacket with which to shackle our spontaneity, nor the whip of inner dictates to drive us to perfection. There is no doubt that such disciplinary methods can succeed in suppressing undesirable factors, but there is also no doubt that they are injurious to our growth. We do not need them because we see a better possibility of dealing with destructive forces in ourselves: that of actually outgrowing them. The way toward this goal is an ever increasing awareness and understanding of ourselves. Self-knowledge, then, is not an aim in itself, but a means of liberating the forces of spontaneous growth. In this sense, to work at ourselves becomes not only the prime moral obligation, but at the same time, in a very real sense, the prime moral privilege."
Karen Horney (famous psychoanalyst)
I just love the above passage so much. It was written decades before I outlined what came to me as "Full Permission Living." The understanding that our "prime moral obligation" and "prime moral privilege" - to do the self-work necessary to become self-aware - are one and the same, couldn't be said more eloquently than in the above passage.
Thank you, Karen Horney!
Karen Horney (famous psychoanalyst)
I just love the above passage so much. It was written decades before I outlined what came to me as "Full Permission Living." The understanding that our "prime moral obligation" and "prime moral privilege" - to do the self-work necessary to become self-aware - are one and the same, couldn't be said more eloquently than in the above passage.
Thank you, Karen Horney!
GOOD QUESTIONS BY "BONNI" ON THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE - PL RESPONDS
Here's Bonni: -
"This is my father. Not every point, but most of them. I've been wondering for years what his deal is. This describes him perfectly. I'm kind of gobsmacked, actually.
I'm confused as to what is meant by "HIGHER SELF ASPECTS", though. I've never seen my father exhibit any of those things, not even accidentally.
Also, it's interesting that the description of the parents pretty much describes how my parents treated me, but I don't fit the profile for Psychopathic Character Structure. People do appear to be born with certain tendencies and personality traits, so I must not have whatever it is that leads someone raised that way to develop Psychopathic Character Structure (I became chronically dissociative, instead; took years to fix that)."
PL:
Very important questions, Bonni. Here's my short answers for now:
The Higher Self aspects in your father may not be manifested by him because they are so distorted and layered over by his character structure. Our dysfunctions and personality deformations, nonetheless, originate in the pure greatness of our particular soul qualities. Somewhere underneath it all, your father has those aspects.
Likewise, there is more to forming a character structure than just the damage inflicted by our parents and environment. There is, again, our unique soul aspects that we come in with, that are inherent in who we are and who we can be. So, different children will react/defend differently in response to the same emotional injuries and wounds, and form different character structures. That being said, some things can be predicted as outlined in the character structure charts.
Thanks, Bonni!
"This is my father. Not every point, but most of them. I've been wondering for years what his deal is. This describes him perfectly. I'm kind of gobsmacked, actually.
I'm confused as to what is meant by "HIGHER SELF ASPECTS", though. I've never seen my father exhibit any of those things, not even accidentally.
Also, it's interesting that the description of the parents pretty much describes how my parents treated me, but I don't fit the profile for Psychopathic Character Structure. People do appear to be born with certain tendencies and personality traits, so I must not have whatever it is that leads someone raised that way to develop Psychopathic Character Structure (I became chronically dissociative, instead; took years to fix that)."
PL:
Very important questions, Bonni. Here's my short answers for now:
The Higher Self aspects in your father may not be manifested by him because they are so distorted and layered over by his character structure. Our dysfunctions and personality deformations, nonetheless, originate in the pure greatness of our particular soul qualities. Somewhere underneath it all, your father has those aspects.
Likewise, there is more to forming a character structure than just the damage inflicted by our parents and environment. There is, again, our unique soul aspects that we come in with, that are inherent in who we are and who we can be. So, different children will react/defend differently in response to the same emotional injuries and wounds, and form different character structures. That being said, some things can be predicted as outlined in the character structure charts.
Thanks, Bonni!
TODAY'S QUOTE ON PURE PSYCHOPATHY
"This woman does not care for these kids. She is in it for the paparazzi, the media. Nadya only fed her babies when a film crew was in her house. That's the only time that woman ever volunteered to feed a child. And I tell you what happened: During one episode she was done feeding, she picked up the child and gave it to me on my chest. She didn't burp it; she didn't change the diaper; she walked out of that room and didn't see her for another 12 hours."
Linda West-Conforti (volunteer nanny for Nadya Suleman's FOURTEEN CHILDREN!)
This is a unusual opportunity for study, to see a character structure in its purest form. Nadya Suleman is a very rare bird: a human being with a pure psychopathic character structure who isn't a politician or hedge fund manager.
Linda West-Conforti (volunteer nanny for Nadya Suleman's FOURTEEN CHILDREN!)
This is a unusual opportunity for study, to see a character structure in its purest form. Nadya Suleman is a very rare bird: a human being with a pure psychopathic character structure who isn't a politician or hedge fund manager.
THE LOVE WE MAKE!
THIS is beautiful! A heartfelt piece on THE LOVE WE MAKE blog, written by a mother who has truly done the work necessary to set her young pre-adolescent son free from the bonds (and binds) of childhood. This kind of courage is what parenting is all about - letting go of the child you gave birth to, so that he or she may find their way in the world with confidence and selfhood. I applaud you, dear mother!
Permission to Grow
My Dear Child,
This morning, at the end of my meditation, I began to cry. The thought that preceded my tears came all at once, as if out of nowhere, I was struck by the clear understanding that I needed to let you know that I am releasing you. It is time for you to grow up and be free to become whom you were always meant to be; for you to be freed of the pressure to fulfill my needs to feel needed; free from being the dependent child that once seemed to fill every void in my life.
I need to say these words, even if they are only to myself:
You can grow up now. You no longer need to be the baby that I once fiercely clung to; you no longer need to fulfill MY need to have a deeply enmeshed connection with another soul - so enmeshed that we didn’t know where one ended and the other began. You don’t need to feign helplessness so that I have a purpose in life; you don’t need to insist that I put you to bed so that I feel important and indispensable to yours. You don’t need be afraid so that I can feel like your protector; you don’t need to stop eating so that I can get you to eat; you never again need to need me just so that I might feel needed.
This is all so hard for me… it feels as if my heart is being ripped apart, it feels old… as if by letting go of this codependent dance with you, I will dissolve into a pool of liquid and then evaporate into thin air. I feel as if after today I will never be who I once was. Deep down I know that releasing you is the most loving thing I can do for you as well as being life altering for both of us, if I can only make it through this searing pain I have in my chest and head right now, I’ll be OK.
I am giving you permission to grow up, to stop needing me, to start feeling and experiencing who YOU are becoming. You are free to start your journey to becoming a fully actualized adult. You have the world in front of you, and it’s time to begin to see all the unique gifts that you possess, separate from anyone else around you. It’s time to experience the world through your own eyes, unencumbered by others.
You may not know it, but you already have a stockpile of strength, love and wisdom to share with the rest of the world.
In your life you may think you need others to get by, because of the way you have been conditioned, but you must be confident in the truth - that you are whole and complete just the way you are. I believe this truth will undoubtedly be the one that sets you free.
My sweet love, my first-born child, my son, once upon a time you were my precious tiny baby that needed me to survive…that time has ended. Now you shall have your own life unfettered by the needs of mine.
May my unending love for you take hold and become deeply rooted inside of you so as to become part a strong foundation for your own life’s journey ahead.
I love you with all my heart,
Mom
Permission to Grow
My Dear Child,
This morning, at the end of my meditation, I began to cry. The thought that preceded my tears came all at once, as if out of nowhere, I was struck by the clear understanding that I needed to let you know that I am releasing you. It is time for you to grow up and be free to become whom you were always meant to be; for you to be freed of the pressure to fulfill my needs to feel needed; free from being the dependent child that once seemed to fill every void in my life.
I need to say these words, even if they are only to myself:
You can grow up now. You no longer need to be the baby that I once fiercely clung to; you no longer need to fulfill MY need to have a deeply enmeshed connection with another soul - so enmeshed that we didn’t know where one ended and the other began. You don’t need to feign helplessness so that I have a purpose in life; you don’t need to insist that I put you to bed so that I feel important and indispensable to yours. You don’t need be afraid so that I can feel like your protector; you don’t need to stop eating so that I can get you to eat; you never again need to need me just so that I might feel needed.
This is all so hard for me… it feels as if my heart is being ripped apart, it feels old… as if by letting go of this codependent dance with you, I will dissolve into a pool of liquid and then evaporate into thin air. I feel as if after today I will never be who I once was. Deep down I know that releasing you is the most loving thing I can do for you as well as being life altering for both of us, if I can only make it through this searing pain I have in my chest and head right now, I’ll be OK.
I am giving you permission to grow up, to stop needing me, to start feeling and experiencing who YOU are becoming. You are free to start your journey to becoming a fully actualized adult. You have the world in front of you, and it’s time to begin to see all the unique gifts that you possess, separate from anyone else around you. It’s time to experience the world through your own eyes, unencumbered by others.
You may not know it, but you already have a stockpile of strength, love and wisdom to share with the rest of the world.
In your life you may think you need others to get by, because of the way you have been conditioned, but you must be confident in the truth - that you are whole and complete just the way you are. I believe this truth will undoubtedly be the one that sets you free.
My sweet love, my first-born child, my son, once upon a time you were my precious tiny baby that needed me to survive…that time has ended. Now you shall have your own life unfettered by the needs of mine.
May my unending love for you take hold and become deeply rooted inside of you so as to become part a strong foundation for your own life’s journey ahead.
I love you with all my heart,
Mom
LOFF56 RESPONDS TO "TOUGH READING!"
HERE'S L56"
"Wow! I actually read through the whole article. It's extremely sobering, but at least it cast a light on what's really going on. The last section about keeping us in the dark with language we don't understand was really interesting.
I think he missed one point on the whole matter though that's kind of important.
We all participated in one way or another in the benefits of the bubbling of the stock http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifmarket. Whether directly if we own a few stocks or mutual funds, or whether we have retirement plans that participate in the market. Or indirectly if we were employed by a company being propped up by false balance sheets and phantom profits. I for one, have a couple of mutual funds, a couple of stocks and a union pension plan that's all affected by the performance of the market. It's really easy for us to turn a blind eye as long as we're all getting a little scratch - if you know what I mean. No wonder they were able to get away with it. If you involve everybody in your scheme whose gonna' say anything? (As long as it's working)
Clearly they went too far, and started playing with things that they themselves probably didn't fully understand. And now we're in the situation that we're in, and it doesn't look like we'll get out of it anytime soon. I'm sure when the smoke clears there will be a whole bunch of new regulations to keep the schemes that caused this particular problem at bay. But, seriously, are we all collectively going to be able to get over the addiction that we got from the contact high? That's a tall order. And something that's not being addressed at all!
I think Obama's doing a lot of great things, but enticing private investors to buy up toxic assets was definitely not one of them. How do I know? The stock market went up 500 points on that news. Business as usual - we all got that long needed fix.
We the people need a detox - and fast!!!"
"Wow! I actually read through the whole article. It's extremely sobering, but at least it cast a light on what's really going on. The last section about keeping us in the dark with language we don't understand was really interesting.
I think he missed one point on the whole matter though that's kind of important.
We all participated in one way or another in the benefits of the bubbling of the stock http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifmarket. Whether directly if we own a few stocks or mutual funds, or whether we have retirement plans that participate in the market. Or indirectly if we were employed by a company being propped up by false balance sheets and phantom profits. I for one, have a couple of mutual funds, a couple of stocks and a union pension plan that's all affected by the performance of the market. It's really easy for us to turn a blind eye as long as we're all getting a little scratch - if you know what I mean. No wonder they were able to get away with it. If you involve everybody in your scheme whose gonna' say anything? (As long as it's working)
Clearly they went too far, and started playing with things that they themselves probably didn't fully understand. And now we're in the situation that we're in, and it doesn't look like we'll get out of it anytime soon. I'm sure when the smoke clears there will be a whole bunch of new regulations to keep the schemes that caused this particular problem at bay. But, seriously, are we all collectively going to be able to get over the addiction that we got from the contact high? That's a tall order. And something that's not being addressed at all!
I think Obama's doing a lot of great things, but enticing private investors to buy up toxic assets was definitely not one of them. How do I know? The stock market went up 500 points on that news. Business as usual - we all got that long needed fix.
We the people need a detox - and fast!!!"
TODAY'S "WHAT?!" QUOTE
"When I hear the constant vilification of corporate America I personally don't understand it.”
Jamie Dimon (JPMorgan CEO, on why he can't understand why corporate America has such a bad image)
THIS is from ABC NEWS this morning:
"Embattled bank JPMorgan Chase, the recipient of $25 billion in TARP funds, is going ahead with a $138 million plan to buy two new luxury corporate jets and build "the premiere corporate aircraft hangar on the eastern seaboard" to house them, ABC News has learned. The recipient of $25 billion in TARP money plans to buy two new corporate jets. The financial giant's upgrade includes nearly $120 million for two Gulfstream 650 planes and $18 million for a lavish renovation of a hangar at the Westchester Airport outside New York City."
Man, you know, all of my life, I've been against the death penalty, but these guys really make it hard!
Jamie Dimon (JPMorgan CEO, on why he can't understand why corporate America has such a bad image)
THIS is from ABC NEWS this morning:
"Embattled bank JPMorgan Chase, the recipient of $25 billion in TARP funds, is going ahead with a $138 million plan to buy two new luxury corporate jets and build "the premiere corporate aircraft hangar on the eastern seaboard" to house them, ABC News has learned. The recipient of $25 billion in TARP money plans to buy two new corporate jets. The financial giant's upgrade includes nearly $120 million for two Gulfstream 650 planes and $18 million for a lavish renovation of a hangar at the Westchester Airport outside New York City."
Man, you know, all of my life, I've been against the death penalty, but these guys really make it hard!
TOUGH READING!
THIS is a very long, thorough, sophisticated and complicated article by Matt Taibbi in the current Rolling Stone issue about what's happened not just to our economy, but to the entire power structure of our country. Dwight Eisenhower once warned of the extreme dangers of the "military-industrial complex" taking over the reigns of power from government. What Ike couldn't foresee was a global "Corporate-Wall Street complex" overrunning government.
Here's just two mouth-drying quotes from Matt's piece:
"So it's time to admit it: We're fools, protagonists in a kind of gruesome comedy about the marriage of greed and stupidity. And the worst part about it is that we're still in denial — we still think this is some kind of unfortunate accident, not something that was created by the group of psychopaths on Wall Street whom we allowed to gang-rape the American Dream."
"The latest bailout came as AIG admitted to having just posted the largest quarterly loss in American corporate history — some $61.7 billion. In the final three months of last year, the company lost more than $27 million every hour. That's $465,000 a minute, a yearly income for a median American household every six seconds, roughly $7,750 a second."
And the guys who lost all that money? They got $165 million in BONUSES!!!
Hmmm... maybe it wouldn't be that hard, after all.
Here's just two mouth-drying quotes from Matt's piece:
"So it's time to admit it: We're fools, protagonists in a kind of gruesome comedy about the marriage of greed and stupidity. And the worst part about it is that we're still in denial — we still think this is some kind of unfortunate accident, not something that was created by the group of psychopaths on Wall Street whom we allowed to gang-rape the American Dream."
"The latest bailout came as AIG admitted to having just posted the largest quarterly loss in American corporate history — some $61.7 billion. In the final three months of last year, the company lost more than $27 million every hour. That's $465,000 a minute, a yearly income for a median American household every six seconds, roughly $7,750 a second."
And the guys who lost all that money? They got $165 million in BONUSES!!!
Hmmm... maybe it wouldn't be that hard, after all.
A-ROD AND YOU!
Why is THIS news?
Alex Rodriguez, Yankee slugger, was a regular customer at a high priced call girl service, the same one Elliot Spitzer, former governor of New York, frequented. Yeah?
Michael Phelps, Olympic champion swimmer, smokes pot. Regularly. From a bong! Woah!
Roger Clemens took steroids. Whew!
Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick engaged in the training of pit bulls for death matches in which spectators bet on the outcome. Really? What?!
Come on, folks! Who or what do you think professional athletes are? They're the same pampered, narcissistic jocks you felt tormented by in high school, remember? Only now they make millions of dollars and have access to the most exotic new party or performance-enhancing drugs, and the highest-maintenance, gold-digging women. They're not icons of virtue or clean living. They never were. And they're not trying to be role models for anyone, either. They're jocks.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love what these athletes do in their respective sports. They show us the highest levels of performance and achievement that human beings can be capable of, and we need to see that, because so many of us are under-achievers, procrastinators or just downright lazy. Far too many of us have a litany of excuses for why we're not doing what we love to do or why we're not contributing the way we could be.
And what should be equally relevant, then, to the slouchers when watching top flight jocks doing their thing is when these high profile stars show us their other side - their stellar flaws, their glaring imperfections, and their rampant dysfunctions. In other words, they're no better than any of us. They're no more together than anyone else. But like the message from the book I'm reading, "THE WISDOM OF NO ESCAPE," which I blogged about the other day (see "PETE BEST"), tells us, you don't have to wait to have yourself all together to do great things in life.
In other words, you can be a complete fuck-up in one area and a great achiever in another. Mind you, that doesn't mean you'll be happy, or having a satisfying life. If you're out of balance like that, in such a state of disharmony, you'll be paying a price emotionally, mentally, and ultimately physically. Just ask Mickey Mantle. Well, you can't ask him, that's the point. He died prematurely from his alcoholism, even though he was able to hit four home runs in one game while suffering from a crushing hang-over.
So, what's my point? It's that, first, you should be expressing your gifts. Whatever they are, whatever your greatness is, you should be contributing to the collective consciousness, even though you're still struggling with your dysfunctions. Second, if you want to be happy, healthy, wealthy and wise for the long-term, you should be using your gifts as guidance for how to straighten out the rest of your life. When you're at your best, when you're in the zone, you're not in your ego or character defenses, you're not in the past or future, but in the now, in the moment. Check it out. When you're playing the guitar or painting or cooking a delicious meal, you're in a state of free-floating grace. When you're depressed or anxiously obsessing or paralysed with fear, you're trapped in your thoughts, in your ego-mind.
If you can't get out of there by yourself, get help. Set the intention and the right guidance from the right person will come along. But stop making excuses. A-Rod is no more together than you, maybe even less so. But he knows he can play baseball if he wants to. You can do your thing, too.
As Stephen Pressfield says in "The Legend of Baggar Vance: "The perfect shot is already in you."
Alex Rodriguez, Yankee slugger, was a regular customer at a high priced call girl service, the same one Elliot Spitzer, former governor of New York, frequented. Yeah?
Michael Phelps, Olympic champion swimmer, smokes pot. Regularly. From a bong! Woah!
Roger Clemens took steroids. Whew!
Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick engaged in the training of pit bulls for death matches in which spectators bet on the outcome. Really? What?!
Come on, folks! Who or what do you think professional athletes are? They're the same pampered, narcissistic jocks you felt tormented by in high school, remember? Only now they make millions of dollars and have access to the most exotic new party or performance-enhancing drugs, and the highest-maintenance, gold-digging women. They're not icons of virtue or clean living. They never were. And they're not trying to be role models for anyone, either. They're jocks.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love what these athletes do in their respective sports. They show us the highest levels of performance and achievement that human beings can be capable of, and we need to see that, because so many of us are under-achievers, procrastinators or just downright lazy. Far too many of us have a litany of excuses for why we're not doing what we love to do or why we're not contributing the way we could be.
And what should be equally relevant, then, to the slouchers when watching top flight jocks doing their thing is when these high profile stars show us their other side - their stellar flaws, their glaring imperfections, and their rampant dysfunctions. In other words, they're no better than any of us. They're no more together than anyone else. But like the message from the book I'm reading, "THE WISDOM OF NO ESCAPE," which I blogged about the other day (see "PETE BEST"), tells us, you don't have to wait to have yourself all together to do great things in life.
In other words, you can be a complete fuck-up in one area and a great achiever in another. Mind you, that doesn't mean you'll be happy, or having a satisfying life. If you're out of balance like that, in such a state of disharmony, you'll be paying a price emotionally, mentally, and ultimately physically. Just ask Mickey Mantle. Well, you can't ask him, that's the point. He died prematurely from his alcoholism, even though he was able to hit four home runs in one game while suffering from a crushing hang-over.
So, what's my point? It's that, first, you should be expressing your gifts. Whatever they are, whatever your greatness is, you should be contributing to the collective consciousness, even though you're still struggling with your dysfunctions. Second, if you want to be happy, healthy, wealthy and wise for the long-term, you should be using your gifts as guidance for how to straighten out the rest of your life. When you're at your best, when you're in the zone, you're not in your ego or character defenses, you're not in the past or future, but in the now, in the moment. Check it out. When you're playing the guitar or painting or cooking a delicious meal, you're in a state of free-floating grace. When you're depressed or anxiously obsessing or paralysed with fear, you're trapped in your thoughts, in your ego-mind.
If you can't get out of there by yourself, get help. Set the intention and the right guidance from the right person will come along. But stop making excuses. A-Rod is no more together than you, maybe even less so. But he knows he can play baseball if he wants to. You can do your thing, too.
As Stephen Pressfield says in "The Legend of Baggar Vance: "The perfect shot is already in you."
BIG LOVE IS SMALL PORN!
There’s an article in today’s NY Times on the HBO show, “BIG LOVE,” which is a series about a fictional, polygamist Mormon family in Utah. The Times piece suggests that the show somehow brings forth the pain and conflict present in traditional marriages. I understand why the Times writer, Virginia Heffernan, would say that, and I agree that there is a lot of pain in most marriages, but I’ve watched Big Love, and I think it’s actually written to be a perverse, titillating, misogynist fantasy for men and women alike who feel trapped in co-dependent, sexually-plateaued, monogamous-by-contract relationships. It’s entertainment. “Bill,” the husband in Big Love, is a classic type. He’s super-horney, super-pious and self-righteous beyond the pale. His wives are submissive-but-strong-willed, self-effacing-but-gorgeous, repressed-but-overrun by their sexual desires for Bill. In other words, it’s a big budget porno movie.
I’ve written on the subject of so-called “open marriages” before, and what is humorously (in my mind) referred to as “polyamory.” We are so uptight about sex in this country that we think having sex with more than one person constitutes being “open” or means we’re experiencing “big love.” The truth is having sex with multiple partners is simply that. It’s only “hot” because it’s forbidden. We only feel the need to call it “love” because it’s forbidden. And right wing, religious guys and their teenage daughters engage in it so often because... it’s forbidden!
Monogamy isn’t more moral than polygamy, nor is polygamy more fulfilling than monogamy. Or visa versa. Everything is what you make of it and about what your intentions are going into it, where you’re at developmentally, and of course, how self-aware you are. These are the things that will ultimately determine the potential for something to enhance your life or not.
Monogamy that is spontaneous, a place that one arrives to not with a contract but from such intense love, Eros and sex that other sexual partners are not desired, is very fulfilling. Likewise, having multiple sexual partners for the explorative and experimental fun and pleasure of variety and diversity can be very gratifying. In the normal developmental stages of adulthood, though, I’d be inclined to say that one has to be fairly mature, with some amount of serious self-work under one’s belt, to arrive to spontaneous monogamy, while generally, indulging in multiple partners is the natural domain of the young. I mean, how can you find the love of your life, when you’ve barely even lived life? And similarly, after you’ve had two or more decades worth of sexual experiences, how can the nuances of yet another different body hold that much cache for a mature adult?
My assessment of “BIG LOVE” on HBO is that it is neither big, nor about love. But it is a pretty well-done, very soft-core porn series that demonstrates, albeit inadvertently, the hypocrisy of the righteous. I always enjoy that.
I’ve written on the subject of so-called “open marriages” before, and what is humorously (in my mind) referred to as “polyamory.” We are so uptight about sex in this country that we think having sex with more than one person constitutes being “open” or means we’re experiencing “big love.” The truth is having sex with multiple partners is simply that. It’s only “hot” because it’s forbidden. We only feel the need to call it “love” because it’s forbidden. And right wing, religious guys and their teenage daughters engage in it so often because... it’s forbidden!
Monogamy isn’t more moral than polygamy, nor is polygamy more fulfilling than monogamy. Or visa versa. Everything is what you make of it and about what your intentions are going into it, where you’re at developmentally, and of course, how self-aware you are. These are the things that will ultimately determine the potential for something to enhance your life or not.
Monogamy that is spontaneous, a place that one arrives to not with a contract but from such intense love, Eros and sex that other sexual partners are not desired, is very fulfilling. Likewise, having multiple sexual partners for the explorative and experimental fun and pleasure of variety and diversity can be very gratifying. In the normal developmental stages of adulthood, though, I’d be inclined to say that one has to be fairly mature, with some amount of serious self-work under one’s belt, to arrive to spontaneous monogamy, while generally, indulging in multiple partners is the natural domain of the young. I mean, how can you find the love of your life, when you’ve barely even lived life? And similarly, after you’ve had two or more decades worth of sexual experiences, how can the nuances of yet another different body hold that much cache for a mature adult?
My assessment of “BIG LOVE” on HBO is that it is neither big, nor about love. But it is a pretty well-done, very soft-core porn series that demonstrates, albeit inadvertently, the hypocrisy of the righteous. I always enjoy that.
IN "BAD" TREATMENT!
How could I resist this from an article in the NY Times called "THE TWELVE MOST ANNOYING HABITS OF THERAPISTS." I figure I've been guilty over the years of many of them at some point or another.
1. Showing up late for the appointment.
2. Eating in front of the client.
3. Yawning or sleeping during session.
4. Inappropriate disclosures.
5. Being impossible to reach by phone or email.
6. Distracted by a phone, cell phone, computer or pet.
7. Expressing racial, sexual, musical, lifestyle and religious preferences.
8. Bringing your pet to the psychotherapy session.
9. Hugging and physical contact.
10. Inappropriate displays of wealth or dress.
11. Clock watching.
12. Excessive note-taking.
Okay, those annoying habits notwithstanding, I'd like to add a few to the list, things that led me to once write a piece called "I LOVE MY WORK BUT HATE MY PROFESSION." I wouldn't call these "annoying," though. I would call them destructive, incompetent and/or irresponsible.
1. Prescribing psychotropic medication for any disorder that isn't life-threatening before a full course of intensive psychotherapy has been tried.
2. Prescribing medication to children - ever - for the purposes of getting them to sit still, or perform better at tests or rote tasks in school.
3. Misleading patients into believing that there are any quick fixes in therapy or in life.
4. Misleading couples into believing that "saving the marriage" is always an appropriate goal of therapy or is inherently better for the children.
5. Supporting a patient's perception that he or she is the victim of their life or of their disorder.
6. Engaging in a co-dependent relationship with a patient and refusing to let a patient go.
7. Remaining aloof from a patient emotionally under the guise of the therapeutic "blank screen."
8. Never admitting mistakes.
I'm sure I can come up with more, but that's my short list for now. Listen, don't be dissuaded by these lists. After 5+ decades of living and 3 decades of practicing therapy, I still haven't met the person who couldn't use to be in treatment. There are good therapists out there, but you have to be discerning and proactive about finding them. It's worth it.
1. Showing up late for the appointment.
2. Eating in front of the client.
3. Yawning or sleeping during session.
4. Inappropriate disclosures.
5. Being impossible to reach by phone or email.
6. Distracted by a phone, cell phone, computer or pet.
7. Expressing racial, sexual, musical, lifestyle and religious preferences.
8. Bringing your pet to the psychotherapy session.
9. Hugging and physical contact.
10. Inappropriate displays of wealth or dress.
11. Clock watching.
12. Excessive note-taking.
Okay, those annoying habits notwithstanding, I'd like to add a few to the list, things that led me to once write a piece called "I LOVE MY WORK BUT HATE MY PROFESSION." I wouldn't call these "annoying," though. I would call them destructive, incompetent and/or irresponsible.
1. Prescribing psychotropic medication for any disorder that isn't life-threatening before a full course of intensive psychotherapy has been tried.
2. Prescribing medication to children - ever - for the purposes of getting them to sit still, or perform better at tests or rote tasks in school.
3. Misleading patients into believing that there are any quick fixes in therapy or in life.
4. Misleading couples into believing that "saving the marriage" is always an appropriate goal of therapy or is inherently better for the children.
5. Supporting a patient's perception that he or she is the victim of their life or of their disorder.
6. Engaging in a co-dependent relationship with a patient and refusing to let a patient go.
7. Remaining aloof from a patient emotionally under the guise of the therapeutic "blank screen."
8. Never admitting mistakes.
I'm sure I can come up with more, but that's my short list for now. Listen, don't be dissuaded by these lists. After 5+ decades of living and 3 decades of practicing therapy, I still haven't met the person who couldn't use to be in treatment. There are good therapists out there, but you have to be discerning and proactive about finding them. It's worth it.
THE 2 PERCENT SOLUTION?
This is from the thinkprogress.org website today:
"As several bloggers and television pundits have noted, CNBC has consistently advocated on behalf of the interests of the rich during the recent financial crisis. Indeed, in an interview with Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-NY) today, CNBC host Mark Haines made the curious claim that Americans who earn under $250,000 per year — or 98 percent of the population — can’t run Wall Street companies:
Here's HAINES:
"Let’s get back to what I regard as a fundamental issue here. I know it’s politically unpopular, politically incorrect. I know it goes against all of the populist indignation that’s out there right now. But you can’t really, it seems to me, expect that these Wall Street companies are going to be run well by a bunch of people who don’t make more than $250,000."
Well, that may be one of the most inane, ludicrous things I've ever heard! First of all, what talent or skill does it take to run a Wall Street Company? So-called "financial institutions" don't make anything, not cars or planes, not clothes, not music or art. They don't grow anything, like food or trees or flowers. They don't elevate anyone, like through education. No. The folks on Wall Street move money around, keeping "Ponzi schemes" going with no more talent or intelligence than your average street hustler.
As I've said before, I am all for wealth, and people getting rich for something they are creating or providing that enhances and elevates humanity. But unless what Mark Haines means by his statement is that it takes a certain kind of brilliance to create and provide nothing and get rich doing it, I'd have to say that Mark is just your run-of-the-mill dumb asshole!
"As several bloggers and television pundits have noted, CNBC has consistently advocated on behalf of the interests of the rich during the recent financial crisis. Indeed, in an interview with Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-NY) today, CNBC host Mark Haines made the curious claim that Americans who earn under $250,000 per year — or 98 percent of the population — can’t run Wall Street companies:
Here's HAINES:
"Let’s get back to what I regard as a fundamental issue here. I know it’s politically unpopular, politically incorrect. I know it goes against all of the populist indignation that’s out there right now. But you can’t really, it seems to me, expect that these Wall Street companies are going to be run well by a bunch of people who don’t make more than $250,000."
Well, that may be one of the most inane, ludicrous things I've ever heard! First of all, what talent or skill does it take to run a Wall Street Company? So-called "financial institutions" don't make anything, not cars or planes, not clothes, not music or art. They don't grow anything, like food or trees or flowers. They don't elevate anyone, like through education. No. The folks on Wall Street move money around, keeping "Ponzi schemes" going with no more talent or intelligence than your average street hustler.
As I've said before, I am all for wealth, and people getting rich for something they are creating or providing that enhances and elevates humanity. But unless what Mark Haines means by his statement is that it takes a certain kind of brilliance to create and provide nothing and get rich doing it, I'd have to say that Mark is just your run-of-the-mill dumb asshole!
THE GIPPER VERSUS FULL PERMISSION LIVING
If you're old enough, you might remember what flying was like before 1980. It was great. Airlines were known for keeping to precise schedules, without hubs and lay-overs and switching planes, the planes were spacious and comfortable, service was attentive and friendly, and you got actual meals during flights.
Then came Ronald Reagan and deregulation. Flying became a horror show. Backed-up or fucked-up schedules and routine delays, cramped seating, irritable service and barely even an edible snack to speak of.
If you lived in New York City before 1980, you rarely encountered "homeless" people, except perhaps in very specific areas, like "The Bowery," and it was understood that these were individuals with serious alcohol and psychiatric problems who were refusing treatment. As a social worker in the 1970's, I was able to do good long-term work with many substance abusers and psychiatric patients who wanted help in well-funded residential treatment facilities.
Then came Ronald Reagan and his ending of funding for social programs. In what seemed like an instant, the entire city was overrun with "the homeless" who'd been ejected from hospitals and treatment centers.
If you understand Reaganomics and you understand the current state of human "second nature," you can understand the incredible debacle that has befallen our country and much of the world economically.
Robert Reich, a professor of public policy, former secretary of labor during the Clinton administration and the author of "Supercapitalism: The Transformation of Business, Democracy, and Everyday Life," has a piece in Salon.com on the economy and Reagonomics.
Here's Reich:
"The basic idea of Reaganomics was that the economy grows from the top down. Lower taxes on the wealthy make them work harder and invest more, and the benefits trickle down to everyone else. Rarely in economic history has a theory been more tested in the real world and proven so wrong. In point of fact, nothing trickled down. After the Reagan tax cuts, increases in the median wage slowed, adjusted for inflation. After George W. Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy, the median wage actually dropped. Meanwhile, most of the income went to the top. In 1980, just before the Reagan revolution, the richest 1 percent took home 9 percent of total national income. But by 2007, the richest 1 percent was taking home 22 percent. Reaganomics didn't believe in public investment, except perhaps when it came to the military. Everything else was considered government spending, which was assumed to be wasteful. Hence, the cuts (adjusted for inflation) during Reagan, Bush I and Bush II in education, job training, infrastructure, and basic research and development. And the reluctance to expand health insurance except when it came to corporate welfare for the pharmaceutical industry. Reaganomics' third principle was that deregulated markets function better. All hell broke loose. Energy markets were deregulated, and we wound up with Enron. Carbon emissions weren't controlled, and now we face global warming. Financial markets were deregulated, and we have a global meltdown."
And, oh yeah, remember the airlines? I remember. And as the 1980's progressed, I remember thinking: Ronald Reagan is going to go down in history as one of the worst presidents ever. A man who called his wife "Mommy" was ripping the economic fabric of a great country to shreds. Only now, almost four decades later, are books coming out debunking the Reagan Myth created by the neo-cons in the last decade. This current world economic crisis is more Reagan's fault than Bush's in that Bush was mainly a stupid child (see Will Farrel) doing what his elder psychopaths were telling him to do, while Reagan, also childish (see "Mommy") was old and charming enough to become the architect of an economic system that would eventually gut our financial security at its core.
Ironically, Reaganomics as an economic system sounds a lot like Full Permission Living in the sense that we are at our best when left to pursue life, liberty and happiness without oppressive rules. BUT... here's the big difference, and it's right on the banner of this blog - Full Permission Living espouses "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness through Self-Actualization.
That is everything. If you haven't yet freed yourself to a great degree from the destructive and self-destructive impulses of your second nature, you can't engage in full permission living. You need outer regulation. You need the limits imposed upon you from without because you will not act in accord with the universal law of oneness. If you have enough of an adult self available to you, you will seek out the guidance necessary to attain maturity, and therefore become ready for unregulated freedom. If you don't have enough of an adult self to do that, then you must have boundaries imposed upon you.
Without that level of self-actualization or imposed regulation, those in charge of the airlines, banks, oil companies, etc., all became Gordon Geckos, extolling the virtues of greed-gone-wild in an every-man-for-himself orgy of avarice.
And so, here we are. I know I keep coming back over and over and over to the same message, folks, but that's the way it is with the truth. You have to keep hearing it and saying it until you are living it. If you weren't born fully self-actualized (I'm still waiting to meet that person!), and if you're not engaged in some kind of deep self-work, you need to be regulated.
Sorry, my Reaganite friends, but your delusion has become everyone's nightmare. Economically-speaking, the Gipper will go down in history as one of the most naive and wrong-headed presidents ever.
Then came Ronald Reagan and deregulation. Flying became a horror show. Backed-up or fucked-up schedules and routine delays, cramped seating, irritable service and barely even an edible snack to speak of.
If you lived in New York City before 1980, you rarely encountered "homeless" people, except perhaps in very specific areas, like "The Bowery," and it was understood that these were individuals with serious alcohol and psychiatric problems who were refusing treatment. As a social worker in the 1970's, I was able to do good long-term work with many substance abusers and psychiatric patients who wanted help in well-funded residential treatment facilities.
Then came Ronald Reagan and his ending of funding for social programs. In what seemed like an instant, the entire city was overrun with "the homeless" who'd been ejected from hospitals and treatment centers.
If you understand Reaganomics and you understand the current state of human "second nature," you can understand the incredible debacle that has befallen our country and much of the world economically.
Robert Reich, a professor of public policy, former secretary of labor during the Clinton administration and the author of "Supercapitalism: The Transformation of Business, Democracy, and Everyday Life," has a piece in Salon.com on the economy and Reagonomics.
Here's Reich:
"The basic idea of Reaganomics was that the economy grows from the top down. Lower taxes on the wealthy make them work harder and invest more, and the benefits trickle down to everyone else. Rarely in economic history has a theory been more tested in the real world and proven so wrong. In point of fact, nothing trickled down. After the Reagan tax cuts, increases in the median wage slowed, adjusted for inflation. After George W. Bush's tax cuts for the wealthy, the median wage actually dropped. Meanwhile, most of the income went to the top. In 1980, just before the Reagan revolution, the richest 1 percent took home 9 percent of total national income. But by 2007, the richest 1 percent was taking home 22 percent. Reaganomics didn't believe in public investment, except perhaps when it came to the military. Everything else was considered government spending, which was assumed to be wasteful. Hence, the cuts (adjusted for inflation) during Reagan, Bush I and Bush II in education, job training, infrastructure, and basic research and development. And the reluctance to expand health insurance except when it came to corporate welfare for the pharmaceutical industry. Reaganomics' third principle was that deregulated markets function better. All hell broke loose. Energy markets were deregulated, and we wound up with Enron. Carbon emissions weren't controlled, and now we face global warming. Financial markets were deregulated, and we have a global meltdown."
And, oh yeah, remember the airlines? I remember. And as the 1980's progressed, I remember thinking: Ronald Reagan is going to go down in history as one of the worst presidents ever. A man who called his wife "Mommy" was ripping the economic fabric of a great country to shreds. Only now, almost four decades later, are books coming out debunking the Reagan Myth created by the neo-cons in the last decade. This current world economic crisis is more Reagan's fault than Bush's in that Bush was mainly a stupid child (see Will Farrel) doing what his elder psychopaths were telling him to do, while Reagan, also childish (see "Mommy") was old and charming enough to become the architect of an economic system that would eventually gut our financial security at its core.
Ironically, Reaganomics as an economic system sounds a lot like Full Permission Living in the sense that we are at our best when left to pursue life, liberty and happiness without oppressive rules. BUT... here's the big difference, and it's right on the banner of this blog - Full Permission Living espouses "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness through Self-Actualization.
That is everything. If you haven't yet freed yourself to a great degree from the destructive and self-destructive impulses of your second nature, you can't engage in full permission living. You need outer regulation. You need the limits imposed upon you from without because you will not act in accord with the universal law of oneness. If you have enough of an adult self available to you, you will seek out the guidance necessary to attain maturity, and therefore become ready for unregulated freedom. If you don't have enough of an adult self to do that, then you must have boundaries imposed upon you.
Without that level of self-actualization or imposed regulation, those in charge of the airlines, banks, oil companies, etc., all became Gordon Geckos, extolling the virtues of greed-gone-wild in an every-man-for-himself orgy of avarice.
And so, here we are. I know I keep coming back over and over and over to the same message, folks, but that's the way it is with the truth. You have to keep hearing it and saying it until you are living it. If you weren't born fully self-actualized (I'm still waiting to meet that person!), and if you're not engaged in some kind of deep self-work, you need to be regulated.
Sorry, my Reaganite friends, but your delusion has become everyone's nightmare. Economically-speaking, the Gipper will go down in history as one of the most naive and wrong-headed presidents ever.
TODAY'S TERMINATOR QUOTE
"I want to thank him for the courageous leadership and commitment he has displayed over the last few months. He is beautiful and so smart."
Arnold Schwarzenegger (on President Barack Obama)
I'LL BE BACK!
Arnold Schwarzenegger (on President Barack Obama)
I'LL BE BACK!
HAPPY TRAILS, GRANDPA PETE & DICK!
I've often fondly talked and written about my "Grandpa Pete," a man who in my youth seemed to have the key to the secret knowledge I was looking for... whatever that was. Indeed, Grandpa taught me a lot about patience and doing what you really want to do in life, regardless of what other people might think about it. Of course, even with Grandpa as inspiration, it still took me years of self-work to attain only the modicum of patience I have today, but at least I have reached a place where I am doing what I love to do most of the time in my daily life, without concern for the opinions of others. One out of two ain't bad.
But, as time went on, of course, Grandpa eventually had to be deconstructed. Upon the event of my divorce as a young man in my twenties, I went to seek what I expected to be the sage advice of my wise, old mentor. With baited breath, I hung on Grandpa's patiently delivered words. He said: "Petey, go to the butcher shop, buy a nice piece of meat, and go home and make dinner for your wife."
I was speechless. For a very long time.
Another time, perhaps on the event of his ninetieth birthday, reflecting on Grandpa's nine decades journey through life, I remarked on how amazing it must be for him to have been born at a time when we didn't even have cars or planes and to have lived to see human beings walk on the moon. Again, with a steady and confident delivery, he said: "Petey, you really think they landed on the moon? For all you know, they landed on Long Island."
That time, the silence was even longer, and I realized that I was growing up. Grandpa had his gifts and great qualities, but he also had his limitations. I was on my way to attaining wisdom, and it meant letting go of my mentor.
What inspired me to write about this? Well, this will seem like a stretch, but I just heard some excerpts from Dick Cheney's interview on CNN this morning, and well, the comments were so absurd and backwards-thinking, so pathetically delivered by a man so utterly hollowed out by the years of psychopathy, that it was hard for me to hold onto the revolt I've always felt towards him and the view that he was the ultimate incarnation of evil in our time.
You see, like Grandpa Pete, Dick Cheney's time has come and gone. The course of change and the evolutionary developments in today's world are too overwhelming for Cheney to grasp, as divorcing or landing on the moon were too much for my grandfather to comprehend.
I mean, in addition to saying that the economic meltdown in our country was certainly not the responsibility of the Bush-Cheney administration, and that somehow President Obama was inviting another terrorist attack, here, here is Cheney on Rush Limbaugh this morning:
"Rush is a good friend. I love him. I think he does great work and has for years."
Well, I know what Grandpa Pete would say about that bit of "news." The same thing he always said about any news stories: "Petey, I never believe nothing until I read it in the Italian newspaper."
Okay, then. I get it.
Anyway, I know this. We all get to Heaven, so happy trails, Grandpa and Dick! Oh, and Dick? Take Uncle Rush with you.
(That Italian paper would be Il Progresso, by the way.)
But, as time went on, of course, Grandpa eventually had to be deconstructed. Upon the event of my divorce as a young man in my twenties, I went to seek what I expected to be the sage advice of my wise, old mentor. With baited breath, I hung on Grandpa's patiently delivered words. He said: "Petey, go to the butcher shop, buy a nice piece of meat, and go home and make dinner for your wife."
I was speechless. For a very long time.
Another time, perhaps on the event of his ninetieth birthday, reflecting on Grandpa's nine decades journey through life, I remarked on how amazing it must be for him to have been born at a time when we didn't even have cars or planes and to have lived to see human beings walk on the moon. Again, with a steady and confident delivery, he said: "Petey, you really think they landed on the moon? For all you know, they landed on Long Island."
That time, the silence was even longer, and I realized that I was growing up. Grandpa had his gifts and great qualities, but he also had his limitations. I was on my way to attaining wisdom, and it meant letting go of my mentor.
What inspired me to write about this? Well, this will seem like a stretch, but I just heard some excerpts from Dick Cheney's interview on CNN this morning, and well, the comments were so absurd and backwards-thinking, so pathetically delivered by a man so utterly hollowed out by the years of psychopathy, that it was hard for me to hold onto the revolt I've always felt towards him and the view that he was the ultimate incarnation of evil in our time.
You see, like Grandpa Pete, Dick Cheney's time has come and gone. The course of change and the evolutionary developments in today's world are too overwhelming for Cheney to grasp, as divorcing or landing on the moon were too much for my grandfather to comprehend.
I mean, in addition to saying that the economic meltdown in our country was certainly not the responsibility of the Bush-Cheney administration, and that somehow President Obama was inviting another terrorist attack, here, here is Cheney on Rush Limbaugh this morning:
"Rush is a good friend. I love him. I think he does great work and has for years."
Well, I know what Grandpa Pete would say about that bit of "news." The same thing he always said about any news stories: "Petey, I never believe nothing until I read it in the Italian newspaper."
Okay, then. I get it.
Anyway, I know this. We all get to Heaven, so happy trails, Grandpa and Dick! Oh, and Dick? Take Uncle Rush with you.
(That Italian paper would be Il Progresso, by the way.)
WHAT'S WRONG WITH PARENTS? IT'S THE KIDS WHO DEFEND AND IDEALIZE THEM WHEN THEY GROW UP!
I have spent three decades working with people in therapy, listening to their inner lives and their histories, and I have participated in raising three children over that time as well, and I've lived in Park Slope, the breeding capital of the country, for the last five+ years. I have heard and seen a lot. And some of the most horrendous stories of child abuse and mistreatment I have heard have been from adult people who claimed to have "great" parents when they were kids.
I have heard adults describe the beatings and physical torture they endured in their childhoods as simple "strictness" or just "cultural." I have heard grown-up offspring blame themselves over and over for the verbal abuse heaped upon them as children by their frustrated, out-of-control parents. I have heard about how mommy or daddy was "my best friend," which often meant that said mommy or daddy leaned on the child for emotional, romantic or sometimes even sexual comfort and support because the marital relationship sucked. And the damage caused by the garden variety narcissism so rampant and socially acceptable in so many middle and upper-middle class parents in enclaves like Park Slope is off the scale.
I have heard grown people idealize and cover for their parents with a determination that is frightening. Why frightening? Because an adult who isn't able to face the dysfunction in their parents isn't likely to take the steps necessary to heal the harmful effects of those distortions in themselves, and is much more likely to repeat the pattern of abuse and neglect in all of their significant relationships, including with their own children.
Little children have no choice. They have to idealize their sick parents because when you are that little and totally dependent and vulnerable, it is too overwhelming to face the craziness in those that you rely on for everything. So, children will elevate their parents and denigrate themselves at all costs because it seems necessary for survival. That child would rather think "Something is wrong with me, that's why I'm not getting what I need" than face that their caretaker is limited, maybe even dangerous to their well-being. But as adults, we are no longer dependent and little and weak. We can face the truth from those earlier times, face the madness of the circumstances we grew up in and stop the cycle.
If you are an adult human being reading this, you once were a kid with parents. I implore you - take your parents off the pedestal in your mind and heal yourself. In so doing, you help to heal the generations of children to come.
Really. Think about it. Do it. Really.
I have heard adults describe the beatings and physical torture they endured in their childhoods as simple "strictness" or just "cultural." I have heard grown-up offspring blame themselves over and over for the verbal abuse heaped upon them as children by their frustrated, out-of-control parents. I have heard about how mommy or daddy was "my best friend," which often meant that said mommy or daddy leaned on the child for emotional, romantic or sometimes even sexual comfort and support because the marital relationship sucked. And the damage caused by the garden variety narcissism so rampant and socially acceptable in so many middle and upper-middle class parents in enclaves like Park Slope is off the scale.
I have heard grown people idealize and cover for their parents with a determination that is frightening. Why frightening? Because an adult who isn't able to face the dysfunction in their parents isn't likely to take the steps necessary to heal the harmful effects of those distortions in themselves, and is much more likely to repeat the pattern of abuse and neglect in all of their significant relationships, including with their own children.
Little children have no choice. They have to idealize their sick parents because when you are that little and totally dependent and vulnerable, it is too overwhelming to face the craziness in those that you rely on for everything. So, children will elevate their parents and denigrate themselves at all costs because it seems necessary for survival. That child would rather think "Something is wrong with me, that's why I'm not getting what I need" than face that their caretaker is limited, maybe even dangerous to their well-being. But as adults, we are no longer dependent and little and weak. We can face the truth from those earlier times, face the madness of the circumstances we grew up in and stop the cycle.
If you are an adult human being reading this, you once were a kid with parents. I implore you - take your parents off the pedestal in your mind and heal yourself. In so doing, you help to heal the generations of children to come.
Really. Think about it. Do it. Really.
JUMP INTO YOUR NEXT LIFETIME!
WOW!
How can a country change so fast?
Day after day, the approval levels for Barack Obama keep going up and up and the poll ratings of Republicans keep going down and down. Day after day, people on the inside are finally coming forward to reveal the scandalous lies and crimes committed by government officials and business leaders over the last decade. Last night, Jim Cramer was apologizing to Jon Stewart, who ripped Cramer a new asshole this week for his part in the criminal manipulation of the stock market by hedge fund hogs that cost many working people their life savings over the last decade. Just like that nobody even gives a shit about Bill O'Reilly or Rupert Murdock anymore, and Rush Limbaugh has stepped forward to personally bury whatever is left of the lunatic fringe of the right wing in the United Stated. AND... Ann Coulter's book sales are plummeting!
But back to my question: How can things be changing so fast?
Well, I turn to a Pathwork Guide Lecture, probably one of my top three favorites: "THE UNIVERSALITY OF CHANGE - REINCARNATIVE PROCESS IN THE SAME LIFE SPAN."
This is an "advanced" lecture in that a lot of spiritual knowledge is already assumed by the time one has gotten to this lecture (Number 230 in the series). It is about what life looks like when one is on an accelerated path in a lifetime, what the opportunities are, and what choices can be made. It is a concrete explanation of the notion of being "born again," (as opposed to the childish version put forth by bombastic Evangelicals or the regressive imbeciles of the religious right).
What the Guide eloquently speaks about is the potential to create completely new life circumstances without having to go through the usual cycle of physical death and rebirth.
The Guide:
"A path such as this one you have chosen is indeed a very rare and intense one. Some of you may already connect intuitively with a complete change in your life experience, so that other potentialities that would have remained dormant in the incarnation you were born into can now come to the fore. With less development, these potentialities would remain to be expressed only in a future lifetime. On an accelerated path, a new incarnation can be undertaken without leaving the old body behind and creating a new incarnation. It can be done within the same life span. The life that would be terminated earlier can be extended, and the new seed plan can be 'taken out' and become the task within this life span. Or, a life that might have continued in certain circumstances - according to the old seed plan - completely changes in feelings, expressions, experiences, environment, and task. New talents may manifest, and old ones may be expressed differently."
Again - WOW!
It is an amazing experience to go through, reincarnating in the same lifetime, and indeed, sometimes, it is quite tumultuous and gut-wrenching, like physical death and birth often are. To arrive to such a place requires not only a lengthy and determined amount of intense, full-spectrum self-work, but after that, it requires a great leap of faith, an ultimate letting go, a permanent dismantling of the ego and character structures.
I know several people who did the real work to get to this place, the "full Monty" of therapy, but then stalled at the finish line. Yep. They have the winning lottery ticket in their hands, but they are resisting cashing it in because they know that everything will change forever once they do. And they will be in the new, expansive unknown.
The Guide:
"Sometimes a deep crisis indicates the changeover, but this crisis is in principle no different from physical death and rebirth. When you do not shrink from it, when you trust it and go with it, you can indeed bring forth a second incarnation within one embodiment. Living a full life always means stepping beyond the old fences and making new territory your own familiar ground, in which you soon feel as comfortable as in the old. Realizing yourself means feeling comfortable in a new self-expression. That is the task. And only the first few whiffs of the new experience are unfamiliar. Soon the new becomes the familiar, and you expand your circumference; you expand the territory for your psychic 'at homeness' until finally all the universe and all states of consciousness are truly your own, intensely familiar. Then you are one with the universe."
To those of you who are there, almost here, I say to you: CASH IN YOUR TICKET! You can't go back again. If you have done the work spoken about here, and so often on this blog, the work of dismantling your ego and character structure, you can't reconstruct anything from your past. Character structures can only be formed by a child in childhood. And not only can't you go back, you can't stay where you are, either. The force of change is inevitable, irresistible, undeniable. If you try and hold firm where you are, you will get sick, you will invite crisis and suffering. It's unnecessary.
So, back to our country... I am shocked but delighted to say that it appears that our own logjam at the finish line of transition has been broken. As a nation, we are clearly in the process of being reborn, shedding old paradigms and patterns of thinking, behaving with more openness and trust, and taking that leap of faith into the new, which included the stunning election of Barack Obama.
Come on, folks! It's fun over here! Good love, Eros and sex, passionate creative expression, vibrant health, genuine self-confidence, material comfort and the gratifying knowledge that you are contributing your light to others.
Jump! You can do it!!
How can a country change so fast?
Day after day, the approval levels for Barack Obama keep going up and up and the poll ratings of Republicans keep going down and down. Day after day, people on the inside are finally coming forward to reveal the scandalous lies and crimes committed by government officials and business leaders over the last decade. Last night, Jim Cramer was apologizing to Jon Stewart, who ripped Cramer a new asshole this week for his part in the criminal manipulation of the stock market by hedge fund hogs that cost many working people their life savings over the last decade. Just like that nobody even gives a shit about Bill O'Reilly or Rupert Murdock anymore, and Rush Limbaugh has stepped forward to personally bury whatever is left of the lunatic fringe of the right wing in the United Stated. AND... Ann Coulter's book sales are plummeting!
But back to my question: How can things be changing so fast?
Well, I turn to a Pathwork Guide Lecture, probably one of my top three favorites: "THE UNIVERSALITY OF CHANGE - REINCARNATIVE PROCESS IN THE SAME LIFE SPAN."
This is an "advanced" lecture in that a lot of spiritual knowledge is already assumed by the time one has gotten to this lecture (Number 230 in the series). It is about what life looks like when one is on an accelerated path in a lifetime, what the opportunities are, and what choices can be made. It is a concrete explanation of the notion of being "born again," (as opposed to the childish version put forth by bombastic Evangelicals or the regressive imbeciles of the religious right).
What the Guide eloquently speaks about is the potential to create completely new life circumstances without having to go through the usual cycle of physical death and rebirth.
The Guide:
"A path such as this one you have chosen is indeed a very rare and intense one. Some of you may already connect intuitively with a complete change in your life experience, so that other potentialities that would have remained dormant in the incarnation you were born into can now come to the fore. With less development, these potentialities would remain to be expressed only in a future lifetime. On an accelerated path, a new incarnation can be undertaken without leaving the old body behind and creating a new incarnation. It can be done within the same life span. The life that would be terminated earlier can be extended, and the new seed plan can be 'taken out' and become the task within this life span. Or, a life that might have continued in certain circumstances - according to the old seed plan - completely changes in feelings, expressions, experiences, environment, and task. New talents may manifest, and old ones may be expressed differently."
Again - WOW!
It is an amazing experience to go through, reincarnating in the same lifetime, and indeed, sometimes, it is quite tumultuous and gut-wrenching, like physical death and birth often are. To arrive to such a place requires not only a lengthy and determined amount of intense, full-spectrum self-work, but after that, it requires a great leap of faith, an ultimate letting go, a permanent dismantling of the ego and character structures.
I know several people who did the real work to get to this place, the "full Monty" of therapy, but then stalled at the finish line. Yep. They have the winning lottery ticket in their hands, but they are resisting cashing it in because they know that everything will change forever once they do. And they will be in the new, expansive unknown.
The Guide:
"Sometimes a deep crisis indicates the changeover, but this crisis is in principle no different from physical death and rebirth. When you do not shrink from it, when you trust it and go with it, you can indeed bring forth a second incarnation within one embodiment. Living a full life always means stepping beyond the old fences and making new territory your own familiar ground, in which you soon feel as comfortable as in the old. Realizing yourself means feeling comfortable in a new self-expression. That is the task. And only the first few whiffs of the new experience are unfamiliar. Soon the new becomes the familiar, and you expand your circumference; you expand the territory for your psychic 'at homeness' until finally all the universe and all states of consciousness are truly your own, intensely familiar. Then you are one with the universe."
To those of you who are there, almost here, I say to you: CASH IN YOUR TICKET! You can't go back again. If you have done the work spoken about here, and so often on this blog, the work of dismantling your ego and character structure, you can't reconstruct anything from your past. Character structures can only be formed by a child in childhood. And not only can't you go back, you can't stay where you are, either. The force of change is inevitable, irresistible, undeniable. If you try and hold firm where you are, you will get sick, you will invite crisis and suffering. It's unnecessary.
So, back to our country... I am shocked but delighted to say that it appears that our own logjam at the finish line of transition has been broken. As a nation, we are clearly in the process of being reborn, shedding old paradigms and patterns of thinking, behaving with more openness and trust, and taking that leap of faith into the new, which included the stunning election of Barack Obama.
Come on, folks! It's fun over here! Good love, Eros and sex, passionate creative expression, vibrant health, genuine self-confidence, material comfort and the gratifying knowledge that you are contributing your light to others.
Jump! You can do it!!
TODAY'S MORON QUOTE
"You know, $165 million is like worrying about 16.5 cents"
Rick Santelli (on why you shouldn't be so outraged about the AIG bonuses you paid for)
Rick Santelli (on why you shouldn't be so outraged about the AIG bonuses you paid for)
FULL PERMISSION LYRICS-"NOT READY TO MAKE NICE"
"Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting"
DIXIE CHICKS
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting"
DIXIE CHICKS
TODAY'S "SEE YA! WOULDN'T WANNA BE YA!" QUOTE
HERE'S AN EXCERPT FROM FRANK RICH'S EXCELLENT OP-ED PIECE THIS AM IN THE NY TIMES:
"Even were the public still in the mood for fiery invective about family values, the G.O.P. has long since lost any authority to lead the charge. The current Democratic president and his family are exemplars of precisely the Eisenhower-era squareness — albeit refurbished by feminism — that the Republicans often preached but rarely practiced. Obama actually walks the walk. Contrast Obama with the Republican party’s star attraction, Rush Limbaugh, whose history of drug dependency and tangled marital history make him a walking stereotype of self-indulgence. Indeed, the two top candidates for leader of the post-Bush G.O.P, Rush and Newt, have six marriages between them. The party that once declared war on unmarried welfare moms, homosexual 'recruiters' and Bill Clinton’s private life has been rebranded by Mark Foley, Larry Craig, David Vitter and the irrepressible Palins. Even before the economy tanked, Americans had more faith in medical researchers using discarded embryos to battle Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s than in Washington politicians making ad hoc medical decisions for Terri Schiavo."
"Even were the public still in the mood for fiery invective about family values, the G.O.P. has long since lost any authority to lead the charge. The current Democratic president and his family are exemplars of precisely the Eisenhower-era squareness — albeit refurbished by feminism — that the Republicans often preached but rarely practiced. Obama actually walks the walk. Contrast Obama with the Republican party’s star attraction, Rush Limbaugh, whose history of drug dependency and tangled marital history make him a walking stereotype of self-indulgence. Indeed, the two top candidates for leader of the post-Bush G.O.P, Rush and Newt, have six marriages between them. The party that once declared war on unmarried welfare moms, homosexual 'recruiters' and Bill Clinton’s private life has been rebranded by Mark Foley, Larry Craig, David Vitter and the irrepressible Palins. Even before the economy tanked, Americans had more faith in medical researchers using discarded embryos to battle Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s than in Washington politicians making ad hoc medical decisions for Terri Schiavo."
Today's Family Quotes
"Our experiences with our parents set us up to expect abuse from authority figures."
Robert Burney (author of "Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light")
“People talk about 'dysfunctional families'; I've never seen any other kind”
Sue Grafton
“Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.”
Anonymous
Robert Burney (author of "Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light")
“People talk about 'dysfunctional families'; I've never seen any other kind”
Sue Grafton
“Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.”
Anonymous
Today's Moron Quote
"You know what, I don't have any problem taking his head sticking it underwater and scaring the living daylights out of him and making him think we're drowning him... and I'm a Christian."
Sean Hannity.
And what did the actual man upon whom Christianity is supposedly based say, Sean?
"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."
Jesus (Luke 6:27-31)
Hmm, I can see where there's room for waterboarding in there, can't you?!
Sean Hannity.
And what did the actual man upon whom Christianity is supposedly based say, Sean?
"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."
Jesus (Luke 6:27-31)
Hmm, I can see where there's room for waterboarding in there, can't you?!
Today's Quote
“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
(from the gospel of Thomas)
(from the gospel of Thomas)
REPOST: "DO IT... OR DON'T!"
You haven't had really good sex, or any sex at all, in months, years, maybe, whether you may be single or in a steady relationship or a long-term marriage. Your finances are a mess, maybe even a disaster, or... they're not, you're solvent, but still, your work life is ungratifying creatively. You're over-weight, out of shape, having trouble sleeping, feeling old before your time, maybe, or succumbing to the insidious indoctrinations of the medical profession about the indignities of aging and the betrayals of nature. Anti-depressants, high blood pressure medication, Viagra, Ambien in your medicine cabinet? Medicine cabinet? What the fuck?! You have a medicine cabinet?! How did this happen? Some part of you knows this isn't right. Right? Your mind doesn't feel this resigned, this lacking in desire, this irrelevant to the rest of human life, old, for Christ's sake!
Some part of you feels vibrant, engaged, passionate, desiring to contribute. Yet, you are sinking into despair and lethargy and apathy. You're broke, or broken, or close to it. You can't get up or get it up! How is this possible? How did this happen??
Well, ask yourself this - are you commited to doing whatever it takes to open up your inner channels to the fullness of life? Are you willing to turn over every stone in your mental and emotional self to find the negative intentions, stubborn childish wishes and willful attitudes lurking there? Can you admit that being happy, free, healthy, wealthy and wise are not as important to you as being "right," playing it "safe" and being in "control." That your pride rules over all?
Well, having it all, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, are indeed our inalienable rights as human beings, but it's a state you have to strive to arrive to. We live in a plane of intense heaviness here on Earth, yet it's a place of potentially great acceleration.
Here's the good news, folks - having a great life, fulfilled in love and work, with a sound mind and body is not only possible, but it is the way it's meant to be for us. But here's the hard truth - there's no short cuts, no end runs, no cheating, faking it, or half-stepping. You've got to reveal yourself - to yourself, and then to someone else. And then, go further and further until there's no corner of your inner life that's hidden and in the dark. Do it. Or don't, but if you don't, don't complain.
Some part of you feels vibrant, engaged, passionate, desiring to contribute. Yet, you are sinking into despair and lethargy and apathy. You're broke, or broken, or close to it. You can't get up or get it up! How is this possible? How did this happen??
Well, ask yourself this - are you commited to doing whatever it takes to open up your inner channels to the fullness of life? Are you willing to turn over every stone in your mental and emotional self to find the negative intentions, stubborn childish wishes and willful attitudes lurking there? Can you admit that being happy, free, healthy, wealthy and wise are not as important to you as being "right," playing it "safe" and being in "control." That your pride rules over all?
Well, having it all, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, are indeed our inalienable rights as human beings, but it's a state you have to strive to arrive to. We live in a plane of intense heaviness here on Earth, yet it's a place of potentially great acceleration.
Here's the good news, folks - having a great life, fulfilled in love and work, with a sound mind and body is not only possible, but it is the way it's meant to be for us. But here's the hard truth - there's no short cuts, no end runs, no cheating, faking it, or half-stepping. You've got to reveal yourself - to yourself, and then to someone else. And then, go further and further until there's no corner of your inner life that's hidden and in the dark. Do it. Or don't, but if you don't, don't complain.
Today's Quote
"Ask not what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive... then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Howard Thurman
Howard Thurman
Repost: "The Superstition of Pessimism"
"If I believe in the positive, I will be disappointed, and I may chase it away by my very belief in it. I dare not believe in the good. It may not happen. It may be smarter to believe that nothing good can happen to me, that I cannot ever change, that I cannot ever grow out of my obstructions."
Do any of you have that little nugget lurking in your subconscious? Well, here's a real gold nugget for you - the Pathwork Guide lecture called: "The Superstition of Pessimism."
You may actually believe that there's some emotional safety in this kind of inner game - "If I expect the worst, I won't be disappointed." However, as the Guide warns us:
"Denying the positive and believing in the worst to appease the gods, as it were, is destructive. You do not know the power of such thoughts. There is no playing with such power without grave consequences. There is no such game that does not have a grave effect. The power of this game needs to be made conscious."
That last part is of the utmost importance. I tell many people, regularly, that making something conscious does a lot. As long as something is unconscious, it will exert power over you. Once something is brought into the light of awareness, it already begins to lose its grip and strength. And mind you, I'm not talking about superimposing a false or exaggerated optimistic attitude over an underlying negative attitude. That will do no good at all. And it's not necessary.
Here's the Guide:
"The courage to believe in positive life unfoldment can very easily be confused with wishful thinking. There is a subtle and yet very distinct difference between wishful thinking and a virile faith in the positive. You all indulge very easily in wishful thinking. Then, to be "realistic" -- because you already know the disappointing results of wishful thinking -- you revert into the superstition of pessimism."
Optimism is the natural state of all living things. Without it, newborns wouldn't reach out for nurturance right from birth. Flowers wouldn't open to the sun. Life expects to be fulfilled. So, by bringing our negative expectations into consciousness, thereby dissipating them, the natural optimism will take over.
Once more, the Guide:
"All human beings are wonderful manifestations of divinity. One flower is not better than another flower. One bird is not better than another bird. The mountain is not better than the sea. The pine tree is not better than the oak. Think of yourself and other people in those terms and assert your goodwill to let others be their best. Then you can let yourself be your best so you can truly enjoy the fruits of your efforts and feel deserving of them."
Do any of you have that little nugget lurking in your subconscious? Well, here's a real gold nugget for you - the Pathwork Guide lecture called: "The Superstition of Pessimism."
You may actually believe that there's some emotional safety in this kind of inner game - "If I expect the worst, I won't be disappointed." However, as the Guide warns us:
"Denying the positive and believing in the worst to appease the gods, as it were, is destructive. You do not know the power of such thoughts. There is no playing with such power without grave consequences. There is no such game that does not have a grave effect. The power of this game needs to be made conscious."
That last part is of the utmost importance. I tell many people, regularly, that making something conscious does a lot. As long as something is unconscious, it will exert power over you. Once something is brought into the light of awareness, it already begins to lose its grip and strength. And mind you, I'm not talking about superimposing a false or exaggerated optimistic attitude over an underlying negative attitude. That will do no good at all. And it's not necessary.
Here's the Guide:
"The courage to believe in positive life unfoldment can very easily be confused with wishful thinking. There is a subtle and yet very distinct difference between wishful thinking and a virile faith in the positive. You all indulge very easily in wishful thinking. Then, to be "realistic" -- because you already know the disappointing results of wishful thinking -- you revert into the superstition of pessimism."
Optimism is the natural state of all living things. Without it, newborns wouldn't reach out for nurturance right from birth. Flowers wouldn't open to the sun. Life expects to be fulfilled. So, by bringing our negative expectations into consciousness, thereby dissipating them, the natural optimism will take over.
Once more, the Guide:
"All human beings are wonderful manifestations of divinity. One flower is not better than another flower. One bird is not better than another bird. The mountain is not better than the sea. The pine tree is not better than the oak. Think of yourself and other people in those terms and assert your goodwill to let others be their best. Then you can let yourself be your best so you can truly enjoy the fruits of your efforts and feel deserving of them."
"HOW CAN ANYONE WHO LOVES OUR COUNTRY SUPPORT THE REPUBLICANS NOW?" - "An Open Letter to the Republican Traitors (From a Former Republican)"
This is an excerpt from a long-time conservative Republican, Frank Schaeffer, best-selling author. (Other blog entries by Frank can be found here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-schaeffer
"Dear Republican Leaders:
The Republican Party has become the party dedicated to sabotaging the American future. You Republicans are the arsonists who burned down our national home. You combined the failed ideologies of the Religious Right, so-called free market deregulation and the Neoconservative love of war to light a fire that has consumed America. Now you have the nerve to criticize the "architect" America just hired - President Obama - to rebuild from the ashes. You do nothing constructive, just try to hinder the one person willing and able to fix the mess you created.I used to be one of you. How can anyone who loves our country support the Republicans now?"
"Dear Republican Leaders:
The Republican Party has become the party dedicated to sabotaging the American future. You Republicans are the arsonists who burned down our national home. You combined the failed ideologies of the Religious Right, so-called free market deregulation and the Neoconservative love of war to light a fire that has consumed America. Now you have the nerve to criticize the "architect" America just hired - President Obama - to rebuild from the ashes. You do nothing constructive, just try to hinder the one person willing and able to fix the mess you created.I used to be one of you. How can anyone who loves our country support the Republicans now?"
REPOST: "ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU CONTRIBUTING? ARE YOU HEALING? IF NOT, BE SILENT!"
Are you expressing yourself in a creative, joyful work-life that energizes your mind and spirit and brings you financial comfort? Are you contributing light into the world with your positive thoughts and actions? Are your relationships harmonious and full of laughter and open, honest communication? Do you regularly reveal yourself to others and seek to know others at deeper and deeper levels? Are you fulfilled in your love life? Are you having invigorating, soul-quenching sex with someone you love? Are you so in love that you can't help but feeling like the luckiest person on earth? Do your children feel comfortable being emotional, self-assertive and independent? Is your body a temple at which you celebrate life?
OR...
Are you isolated and angry? Fearful that the world and life are slipping away from you? Sexually frustrated? Cynical about love? Do you need medication in order to sleep, get it up, bring your blood pressure down, keep your anxiety and depression levels manageable? Are you frustrated creatively and financially? Are you engaged in a work-life that is meaningless to you? Does your body feel like it is deteriorating and betraying you with the passage of time?
If your answer to the top paragraph is "Yes," then congratulations, and keep doing what you're doing, and please share the knowledge and wisdom you've acquired.
If your answer to the bottom paragraph is "Yes," but you're working to heal yourself in any kind of serious way, or at least seeking guidance from someone, then know that you are not alone.
If your answer to the bottom paragraph is "Yes," but you're not working to heal yourself in any kind of serious way, or at least seeking guidance from someone, then you should be silent. You don't have a contribution to make to the discussions about the direction of the country or the world. You are a dependent child, pretending to be a victim, and your negativity is not a gift that the world needs. Be silent, learn, and let the rest of humanity repair the damage that you have done.
OR...
Are you isolated and angry? Fearful that the world and life are slipping away from you? Sexually frustrated? Cynical about love? Do you need medication in order to sleep, get it up, bring your blood pressure down, keep your anxiety and depression levels manageable? Are you frustrated creatively and financially? Are you engaged in a work-life that is meaningless to you? Does your body feel like it is deteriorating and betraying you with the passage of time?
If your answer to the top paragraph is "Yes," then congratulations, and keep doing what you're doing, and please share the knowledge and wisdom you've acquired.
If your answer to the bottom paragraph is "Yes," but you're working to heal yourself in any kind of serious way, or at least seeking guidance from someone, then know that you are not alone.
If your answer to the bottom paragraph is "Yes," but you're not working to heal yourself in any kind of serious way, or at least seeking guidance from someone, then you should be silent. You don't have a contribution to make to the discussions about the direction of the country or the world. You are a dependent child, pretending to be a victim, and your negativity is not a gift that the world needs. Be silent, learn, and let the rest of humanity repair the damage that you have done.
TODAY'S "HEAD OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY" QUOTE
"Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society."
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I guess radio was established to let bloated, drug-addicted bigots access to gullible, fear-riddled morons?
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I guess radio was established to let bloated, drug-addicted bigots access to gullible, fear-riddled morons?
Today's FPL Quote
"The universe isn't fair, but it is just."
PL
The will of All That Is, of this conscious universe, is inexorable and singularly driven by love and eternal movement. While any individual or group of individuals may choose to try and go against that movement, the laws of cause and effect will provide the appropriate course corrections.
Einstein once said that "God doesn't play dice with the universe." I would, however, add that God does take sides. Not for or against particular persons, countries or religions, of course, but for love, oneness and movement, the essence of All That Is.
PL
The will of All That Is, of this conscious universe, is inexorable and singularly driven by love and eternal movement. While any individual or group of individuals may choose to try and go against that movement, the laws of cause and effect will provide the appropriate course corrections.
Einstein once said that "God doesn't play dice with the universe." I would, however, add that God does take sides. Not for or against particular persons, countries or religions, of course, but for love, oneness and movement, the essence of All That Is.
Today's Quote
"What about this bonehead Rush Limbaugh? Honest to God, I mean, what is going on there? He gets up in Washington and he's the keynote speaker at some function and he comes up and he looks like an East European gangster. He's got the black jacket on, the black silk shirt and it's unbuttoned like, oh yeah, when you think Rush Limbaugh, you think, 'Ooh, let's see a little flesh.' Honestly. What is he doing?"
David Letterman
David Letterman
TODAY'S LYRICS
FORTUNATE SON
"Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays hail to the chief,
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, lord.
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senator's son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no.
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes,
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's's son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no.
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, lord,
And when you ask them, how much should we give?
Ooh, they only answer more! more! more!
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no military son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no."
Creedence Clearwater Revival
"Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays hail to the chief,
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, lord.
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senator's son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no.
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes,
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's's son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no.
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, lord,
And when you ask them, how much should we give?
Ooh, they only answer more! more! more!
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no military son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no."
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Today's Presidential Quote
"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft!"
Theodore Roosevelt
Theodore Roosevelt
BREAKING NEWS FROM ABC! CONSERVATIVES LOVE THE NASTY!! 80% OF HIGHEST PORN-CONSUMING STATES VOTED FOR McCAIN!!!
Well, as an observer and commenter on human behavior, you couldn't ask for more than this!
ABC News conducted a nation-wide survey and published the results in a piece called: "Porn in the USA: Conservatives Are Biggest Consumers"
A new nationwide study of anonymised credit-card receipts from a major online adult entertainment provider found that states that consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption.
"Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by," says Benjamin Edelman of the Harvard Business School.
But we all know this intuitively, don't we, even though it's just great to see it presented academically?
Shakespeare was onto it centuries ago when he wrote about protesting too much as a cover-up for bad behavior.
Freud described the "reaction formation" almost a century ago as a defense mechanism in which unacceptable impulses are masked by exaggeration of the directly opposing tendency.
"Where reaction-formation takes place, it is usually assumed that the original, rejected impulse does not vanish, but persists, unconscious, in its original infantile form."
Yes, we certainly have seen a lot of persistent, infantile behavior from conservatives in recent years haven't we?
Beauty!
ABC News conducted a nation-wide survey and published the results in a piece called: "Porn in the USA: Conservatives Are Biggest Consumers"
A new nationwide study of anonymised credit-card receipts from a major online adult entertainment provider found that states that consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption.
"Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by," says Benjamin Edelman of the Harvard Business School.
But we all know this intuitively, don't we, even though it's just great to see it presented academically?
Shakespeare was onto it centuries ago when he wrote about protesting too much as a cover-up for bad behavior.
Freud described the "reaction formation" almost a century ago as a defense mechanism in which unacceptable impulses are masked by exaggeration of the directly opposing tendency.
"Where reaction-formation takes place, it is usually assumed that the original, rejected impulse does not vanish, but persists, unconscious, in its original infantile form."
Yes, we certainly have seen a lot of persistent, infantile behavior from conservatives in recent years haven't we?
Beauty!
GOOD-BYE MY OLD FRIEND! MY HOW YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED!!
This was in this morning's NY Times:
AILING G.O.P. RISKS LOSING A GENERATION
By MARJORIE CONNELLY
"Republicans have their work cut out for them. Americans identifying themselves as Democrats outnumber those who say they are Republicans by 10 percentage points, the largest gap in party identification in 24 years. The gap has widened significantly since President George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004, when it was a mere 3 percentage points. But by the time Mr. Bush left office in January, less than a quarter of Americans approved of his performance."
And that drop doesn't even include Americans under the age of 30 who have yet to form strong partisan ties.
Okay, so everyone's asking these days what's happened to the Republican Party? If you have been following the speeches at the CPAC ("Conservative Political Action Committee") convention, by now it must seem as if the party has devolved to the point where the gathering of top conservatives most resembles the group therapy scenes in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." What with Michelle Bachmann, Rush Limbaugh and Joe the Plumber as headline speakers, they've started to make Sarah "Wilma Flintstone" Palin look intelligent. I mean, who's going to be the next rising star of the GOP, Nadya Suleman?!
But the real answer to the question of what's happened to the Republican Party is... nothing. Nothing has happened. That's the point. The GOP hasn't really changed since Barry Goldwater ran for president in 1964. Think about the succession of characters who've run for the highest office since Barry G, and have actually won, presumably representing the cream of the crop: Nixon (twice), Reagan (twice), Bush, Sr. (once) and Bush, Jr. (twice).
Think about that list. It's amazing! No signs whatsoever of evolution. When Goldwater ran, I was ten years old. Have I grown since then? How old were you in 1964? How much have you grown since the Beatles first appeared on Ed Sullivan?
It reminds me of a great scene in the Spencer Tracy film about evolution, "Inherit The Wind." Tracy's character is confronted by his old friend, a staunch creationist played by Fredric March, about the loss of their friendship. The right wing guy asks Tracy why he moved away from the close relationship they once had. Tracy's character says, "It wasn't me, but you who moved away by standing still." In other words, not changing, not growing is the way March's character abandoned Tracy's. Likewise, it is not the American people who have abandoned the Republican Party as much as it is the GOP that has abandoned America. By not changing.
AILING G.O.P. RISKS LOSING A GENERATION
By MARJORIE CONNELLY
"Republicans have their work cut out for them. Americans identifying themselves as Democrats outnumber those who say they are Republicans by 10 percentage points, the largest gap in party identification in 24 years. The gap has widened significantly since President George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004, when it was a mere 3 percentage points. But by the time Mr. Bush left office in January, less than a quarter of Americans approved of his performance."
And that drop doesn't even include Americans under the age of 30 who have yet to form strong partisan ties.
Okay, so everyone's asking these days what's happened to the Republican Party? If you have been following the speeches at the CPAC ("Conservative Political Action Committee") convention, by now it must seem as if the party has devolved to the point where the gathering of top conservatives most resembles the group therapy scenes in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." What with Michelle Bachmann, Rush Limbaugh and Joe the Plumber as headline speakers, they've started to make Sarah "Wilma Flintstone" Palin look intelligent. I mean, who's going to be the next rising star of the GOP, Nadya Suleman?!
But the real answer to the question of what's happened to the Republican Party is... nothing. Nothing has happened. That's the point. The GOP hasn't really changed since Barry Goldwater ran for president in 1964. Think about the succession of characters who've run for the highest office since Barry G, and have actually won, presumably representing the cream of the crop: Nixon (twice), Reagan (twice), Bush, Sr. (once) and Bush, Jr. (twice).Think about that list. It's amazing! No signs whatsoever of evolution. When Goldwater ran, I was ten years old. Have I grown since then? How old were you in 1964? How much have you grown since the Beatles first appeared on Ed Sullivan?
It reminds me of a great scene in the Spencer Tracy film about evolution, "Inherit The Wind." Tracy's character is confronted by his old friend, a staunch creationist played by Fredric March, about the loss of their friendship. The right wing guy asks Tracy why he moved away from the close relationship they once had. Tracy's character says, "It wasn't me, but you who moved away by standing still." In other words, not changing, not growing is the way March's character abandoned Tracy's. Likewise, it is not the American people who have abandoned the Republican Party as much as it is the GOP that has abandoned America. By not changing.
YOU. STUPID. GREEDY.
Take a breath and think about this, in case you've been in denial:
Life expectancy is higher in most of Europe than in the United States. Even the people of Cyprus live longer than Americans. Meanwhile, American children are twice as likely to die by the age of 5 as children in Portugal, Spain or Slovenia. And the World Health Organization found that an American woman’s lifetime risk of dying in childbirth is more than three times that of a woman in Greece, Spain or Germany.
Meanwhile, Americans spend $6,800 per person to get these second-rate results, about double what is paid in Canada or much of Europe.
So if our health system is broken, is it really so awful that we increase taxes for the wealthiest Americans to make repairs? In 1980, the top-earning 1 percent of Americans accounted for 8 percent of the total income pie; by 2006, they grabbed nearly 23 percent. Do you think its because those 23% are all more talented than most Americans? Smarter? Just look around - if they were smart, and they really wanted to keep all of their wealth, wouldn't they help make sure that the rest of the country, outside of their personal playgrounds, wasn't falling apart so badly and getting people so pissed off?
Hey, I am all for getting rich because you're talented, smart and have gifts to bear in the world. And I hate paying taxes. BUT I'M NOT STUPID OR GREEDY! Or ultimately, self-destructive.
Get it?
If you're wealthy and you're pissed now that your taxes have to be raised, come out of your denial. It's not because President Obama is a closet "socialist," who wants to destroy our country, like the blathering, bloated idiots of CPAC are bellowing. It's because you have been stupid and greedy.
I'll say it again:
You. Stupid. Greedy.
Life expectancy is higher in most of Europe than in the United States. Even the people of Cyprus live longer than Americans. Meanwhile, American children are twice as likely to die by the age of 5 as children in Portugal, Spain or Slovenia. And the World Health Organization found that an American woman’s lifetime risk of dying in childbirth is more than three times that of a woman in Greece, Spain or Germany.
Meanwhile, Americans spend $6,800 per person to get these second-rate results, about double what is paid in Canada or much of Europe.
So if our health system is broken, is it really so awful that we increase taxes for the wealthiest Americans to make repairs? In 1980, the top-earning 1 percent of Americans accounted for 8 percent of the total income pie; by 2006, they grabbed nearly 23 percent. Do you think its because those 23% are all more talented than most Americans? Smarter? Just look around - if they were smart, and they really wanted to keep all of their wealth, wouldn't they help make sure that the rest of the country, outside of their personal playgrounds, wasn't falling apart so badly and getting people so pissed off?
Hey, I am all for getting rich because you're talented, smart and have gifts to bear in the world. And I hate paying taxes. BUT I'M NOT STUPID OR GREEDY! Or ultimately, self-destructive.
Get it?
If you're wealthy and you're pissed now that your taxes have to be raised, come out of your denial. It's not because President Obama is a closet "socialist," who wants to destroy our country, like the blathering, bloated idiots of CPAC are bellowing. It's because you have been stupid and greedy.
I'll say it again:
You. Stupid. Greedy.
LOL - DADLOFF WON'T GIVE UP! PL RESPONDS.
Here he is:
"You don't have the time to blast democrats because you spend all your time blasting the Republicans. That has to take up an awful lot of your time and energy. Remember, dems and reps are all politicians and they are all the same. They talk big, but do little except stay awake at night and think about how they can spend all our money."
PL:
Listen, DL, I'm with you - all politicians are basically the same. I agree, and it's a sad state of affairs. And actually, I have plenty of time to blast Democrats, BUT they are not currently obstructing what President Obama is trying to do, which clearly is good for the country right now. It is the remaining crop of lunatic fringe Republicans who at all costs want to derail the president's efforts for no practical purpose, and mind you, in the process, they're destroying what's left of the Republican Party. Don't distort my position, which is not a position. I am assessing what's happening from a pragmatic perspective. I don't care what anyone's party is. What I care about is what they're doing and what they're saying, and right now, at this point in time, the remaining fringe elements of the Republican Party are seeking to take us all down with them rather than change in a progressive direction. I can't abide that.
"You don't have the time to blast democrats because you spend all your time blasting the Republicans. That has to take up an awful lot of your time and energy. Remember, dems and reps are all politicians and they are all the same. They talk big, but do little except stay awake at night and think about how they can spend all our money."
PL:
Listen, DL, I'm with you - all politicians are basically the same. I agree, and it's a sad state of affairs. And actually, I have plenty of time to blast Democrats, BUT they are not currently obstructing what President Obama is trying to do, which clearly is good for the country right now. It is the remaining crop of lunatic fringe Republicans who at all costs want to derail the president's efforts for no practical purpose, and mind you, in the process, they're destroying what's left of the Republican Party. Don't distort my position, which is not a position. I am assessing what's happening from a pragmatic perspective. I don't care what anyone's party is. What I care about is what they're doing and what they're saying, and right now, at this point in time, the remaining fringe elements of the Republican Party are seeking to take us all down with them rather than change in a progressive direction. I can't abide that.
DADLOFF SOUNDS OFF ON MY INSULTING THE RIGHT/PL RESPONDS
Here's DL:
"It seems awfully strange that you do nothing but call conservative republicans all kinds of nasty and terrible things and that all they are concerned about is the rich people in this country. Think about this and see what you can find wrong with the American voting public. Since the end of world war 2, starting with Eisenhower, the American people voted into office Republicans for a total of 36 years, while the American people voted into office democrats for a total of 24 years, and I am not counting Ford or Obama. It seems to me that you think all the people that voted for republicans, including democratic and independent voters are a bunch of nitwits. I don't listen to Limbaugh's radio talk show because I basically think it is a comedy show. But I would put Bill Maher in the same category as Limbaugh, because all he does is blast republicans, just as Limbaugh blasts democrats."
PL:
Okay, DL, here's my response: I make a point of talking about what has happened to Republicans post-Eisenhower. I like Ike! He was a Republican who warned about the dangers of embracing the "military-industrial complex," remember? And I'm currently blasting the GOP because they are screaming to be blasted. Again, do a search on my blog. You won't find one piece from me in over 2 years praising democrats. Democrats have been two-faced wimps, who've rolled over and played dead for over thirty years. BUT, I know that the crappy crop of candidates during these years in both parties has been a reflection of our mass consciousness, and the election of Barack Obama shows that enough people have now actually grown up enough to change.
It is Barack Obama and his call for maturity and clarity and adult behavior that I am in support of, and sadly, the Republicans are acting like toddlers who've had their cookies taken away from them.
You get what I'm saying?
"It seems awfully strange that you do nothing but call conservative republicans all kinds of nasty and terrible things and that all they are concerned about is the rich people in this country. Think about this and see what you can find wrong with the American voting public. Since the end of world war 2, starting with Eisenhower, the American people voted into office Republicans for a total of 36 years, while the American people voted into office democrats for a total of 24 years, and I am not counting Ford or Obama. It seems to me that you think all the people that voted for republicans, including democratic and independent voters are a bunch of nitwits. I don't listen to Limbaugh's radio talk show because I basically think it is a comedy show. But I would put Bill Maher in the same category as Limbaugh, because all he does is blast republicans, just as Limbaugh blasts democrats."
PL:
Okay, DL, here's my response: I make a point of talking about what has happened to Republicans post-Eisenhower. I like Ike! He was a Republican who warned about the dangers of embracing the "military-industrial complex," remember? And I'm currently blasting the GOP because they are screaming to be blasted. Again, do a search on my blog. You won't find one piece from me in over 2 years praising democrats. Democrats have been two-faced wimps, who've rolled over and played dead for over thirty years. BUT, I know that the crappy crop of candidates during these years in both parties has been a reflection of our mass consciousness, and the election of Barack Obama shows that enough people have now actually grown up enough to change.
It is Barack Obama and his call for maturity and clarity and adult behavior that I am in support of, and sadly, the Republicans are acting like toddlers who've had their cookies taken away from them.
You get what I'm saying?