THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE

Well, okay, since I posted the "Masochistic Character Structure" a couple of days ago, I guess I shouldn't hold back any longer with everyone's favorite in the series.

So... how about the "Psychopathic Character Structure," a real favorite of students, patients and practitioners alike, although very few therapists are willing to work with this personality. In fact, there is a lot of thought in the field that someone with this character structure is untreatable through psychotherapy. I disagree. It's just that the challenge for a therapist in working with this person is that the level of manipulation, seductiveness and distrust in this patient is so great that the practitioner has to really roll up their sleeves and get involved. Most therapists would rather not.

Just to clarify, "psychopathic" is not synonymous with "sociopathic." While all sociopaths are psychopaths, not all psychopaths are sociopaths. In fact, many "heroes" - cops, soldiers, politicians, CEO's and Captain Kirk-types - are psychopaths, in terms of their basic defensive structure.

Again, the description below is from a 6-hour class I taught on the Psychopathic Character Structure - the fourth of five classes on character structures, which are sets of defenses that we create in early childhood and affect us deeply for the rest of our lives. Every aspect of a person's being is affected by character structures - mind, body and emotions. We create them to survive the slings and arrows of our imperfect childhoods with imperfect parents, but like the cocoon of a caterpillar, when we are ready to become self-actualized adults, we must shed them, "break through" our character structures. Not easy. It requires help. But there's no end run around it. The good news is, as you'll see in the last small but significant section below, that underneath it all is a Higher Self with great capacities and gifts to give to life.

PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE

PRESENTING PROBLEMS (when first arriving to therapy)

- Intense fears of being defeated, humiliated, controlled, or used;
- Feelings of falseness, insincerity, and a lack of integrity;
- Feelings of emptiness and boredom, counteracted by episodes of recklessness, risk-taking and thrill-seeking behavior;
- addiction to intensity;
- Conflicts with authority (including employers, institutions and the legal system);
- Impulsive sexual acting out, promiscuity, many shallow relationships, but no real intimacy or trusting friendships;
- Criminal, sociopathic behavior; antisocial personality disorder;
- Primary falling fear: falling down;
- Primary holding pattern: holding up;
- Primary longing: to have integrity;
- Primary survival struggle: the right to trust.

EARLY ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS
(Developmental Period – Birth to 4 Years)

- One or both parents manipulated, seduced, sexualized, or otherwise used child (covertly or directly) for their own narcissistic purposes; parents instilled in the child an image of how they wanted the child to be in order for the adults to feel good about themselves;
- The parents used the child as a buffer or weapon against each other; the child was overly involved in the marital relationship;
- There was a role reversal in which the child was maneuvered, often with sexual overtones and promises of love that were never delivered, into being the pseudo-spouse or pseudo-parent to a parent (frequently of the opposite sex); the child was expected to be more than he or she was to that parent (“Mommy’s little man”; “Daddy’s little princess”);
- One or both parents invested child with feelings of specialness and importance and then rejected or ignored child, or otherwise became unavailable (frequently the parent of the opposite sex);
- One or both parents competed with the child, feeling threatened by the child’s real or imagined accomplishments, and sadistically exploited the child’s weaknesses to humiliate, control and diminish the child’s self-confidence;
- Child experienced horror from witnessing events that could not be understood or integrated, such as verbal or physical abuse (either of a violent or sexual nature); a major trauma occurred in the child’s life, usually after the second year, that could not be understood intellectually by the child and was experienced as a betrayal; (i.e. – hospitalization and surgery, exposure to sex acts by adults, witnessing extreme violence, etc., while being told that all was well by the adults, or blaming the child for the trauma);
- Parent of the same sex was significantly absent from child’s early life (due to work, illness, death or divorce, etc.).

BODY STATUS

- Body is “designed” to serve the purposes of dominating or seducing and can take almost any form, following whatever main image the person is primarily attached to (i.e.- athletic and powerful, youthful and innocent, sexual and alluring); generally, however, there are two types of body formations typical of this character structure:
1. The “overpowering type” which is inflated on top, “blown-up” looking, with a barreled chest, broad shoulders, and large head, while rigid and small in the pelvis, with small buttocks and thin legs, particularly the calves; or 2. The “seductive type” which is inflated in the pelvis (but numb to feelings there), with broad hips and hyperflexibility in the back, while deflated and immature in the chest area;
- Armoring is particularly marked in the chest, diaphragm, legs and shoulders;
- Eyes are highly charged, often large, and frequently gleaming or sparkling; in the dominating type, the eyes are penetrating and compelling; in the seductive type, they are soft and intriguing, cunning, dreamy or sleepy looking (“Bette Davis eyes”);
- Often, there is a pronounced split (correlates to a lack of integrity in the personality) between the head and the body (mature body, with a small child-like face and head, or visa versa); this split is facilitated by severe tension at the base of the skull and in the shoulder girdle, which holds the head tightly in place (“I must never lose my head.”);
- Arms tend to be immobilized and away from the body (due to the inflated chest and severe shoulder girdle tensions);
- Feet tend to be “pulled off the ground” and may be small; calves and thighs may be short and thin, even when the torso is heavy;
- Physical illnesses are often not felt or manifested until late in life due to extreme willfulness and numbness (later life problems may be in the hips, prostate, pelvis in general, or the heart);
- Spine may be twisted or fused and immobile;
- Chronic areas of tension: base of the skull, shoulder girdle, chest and rib cage, including the diaphragm, waist and abdominal muscles (which are often hard and clenched to pull sexual energy away from genitals), pelvic area in general, genitals specifically.

ENERGETIC CONDITION

- Highly charged, with energy displaced and pulled upwards into the top half of the body and away from the pelvis;
- Eyes are particularly highly charged, used to penetrate, intimidate and/or seduce;
- Energy is directed outwardly to control, hook and dominate others, and directed inwardly to deny feelings in the self by contracting all feeling centers;
- Energy is not allowed to flow downwards, cut off by severe tensions in the pelvis, waist, diaphragm, shoulders and base of skull;
- Chakras (energy centers): Will Centers – (in the back of the body) are open; Crown - (spiritual connection) can be open and lopsided; can be collapsed; Third Eye - (intuitive abilities) open, but exaggerated; Throat - (self-expression) contracted; Heart - (love feelings) contracted; Solar Plexus - (universal wisdom) partially contracted; Sexual - (pleasure and creativity) severely contracted; Base – (grounding and connection to physical life) contracted.

OPERATING MODES OF THE MIND, EMOTIONS AND WILL

- The will is powerfully exerted to control others and to control feelings; feelings are alive in the body, however, but denied recognition by the mind;
- Feelings and the body are denigrated and not trusted, so neither are the external senses; therefore only what’s in one’s head, only one’s own ideas in the moment, are treated as valid and real;
- Power rather than pleasure is sought from life;
- The mind is the servant of the will in this structure, so reasoning can be dramatically inconsistent, though capable of brilliance; arguing both sides of a situation or mixing lies with truth is common if it suits a manipulative purpose to gain power or be “right”; one’s own lies are often believed; there is also a tendency to poor judgement and an inability to learn from mistakes;
- Pain is numbed, and genuine feelings are denied, but dramatic emotionality and false feelings are acted out to achieve some purpose, like intimidation or seduction;
- Fear of being wrong or of submitting to the will of others is extreme and is powerfully denied;
- Intuitive capacities of the mind are formidable, with very strong abilities to read what is going on inside of other people, although the understanding of the meaning of what is going on is often very distorted.

PSYCHOLOGICAL FUNCTIONING

- An inadequate sense of self due to a lack of integrity and treating the self and others as objects for manipulation and control;
- Lack of empathy or compassion and a lack of conscious feelings of remorse or guilt due to numbness defense (numbness is often augmented by alcohol and drug abuse);
- Craving for intensity and excessive stimulation to counteract numbness;
- Poor impulse control and an intolerance of boundaries and structure;
- Paranoia about being controlled or humiliated underlying an extreme need to be in control of feelings, others and all situations; intense fears of losing power, being defeated or helpless, and collapsing into desperate neediness (orality);
- Aggression is used as a defense against surrender to feelings (which are equated with weakness) or to the will of others;
- Powerful investment in and identification with idealized self-images; desperate need to be special and important;
- Main defenses: displacement, numbing, denial, acting out, rationalization, confusion;
- Typical masks: grandiosity, self-dramatization, outlandishness (“I am the one and only of my kind, the greatest, the best, the most, the first, the worst, the baddest”. “There’s nobody like me.”), exaggerated false sincerity (“I would never lie to you.”), the hero (“Only I have the power to save you.”), the guru (“Only I can take you to the light.”), the great promise giver (“I know what you want and I can give it to you.”), the courtesan (“I will control you by letting you use me…on my terms.”), the chameleon (“I can be whatever the situation calls for in order to get my way.”); Idealized Self-images: “Don Juan” or “Venus” (the God or Goddess of Eros), “the Godfather” or “Black Widow” (“I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.” “I always get what I want.”), the “blowfish/monster” (“I am a very scary, dangerous person, so be afraid of me.”);
- Childhood history may include: restlessness and hyperactivity, dangerous behavior (i.e. - fire-setting), severe tantrums, spectacular achievements (in school, sports or the arts) coupled with spectacular self-sabotage or delinquency, cruelty to animals or other children, premature sexual behavior, “troublemaker” persona, inappropriate lack of fear and a lack of crying when hurt.

INTERPERSONAL AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONING

- People are primarily related to as objects, as sources of “narcissistic supply” to support images of power and specialness; since others are objectified, anything can be said or done to get what is wanted from another without concern for the other’s feelings or well-being;
- A “divide and conquer” approach is often taken to gain control of others, individually and in groups, pitting people against each other, then sometimes taking the role of mediator or peacemaker;
- Eccentric, radical, dramatic, unpredictable or extreme behavior and appearance are often used to gain attention and/or to keep others off balance;
- The need to have “followers” is felt as an essential reason to engage with others; it is through the “needing to be needed” that the person with this character structure maintains his or her feeling of power, while denying the inherent dependency (orality) of the dynamic at the same time;
- Antisocial behavior may be engaged in with very little provocation, though it may be seen as justified by the person in the moment; these actions are not followed by feelings of remorse afterwards; only getting caught or confined is of concern, not hurting others or the self;
- This person looks directly at others, but doesn’t really see them as real (whereas the schizoid character sees but doesn’t look!);
- Sex is seen as a means to an end, or a contest, often used to gain power, not pleasure, or to express revenge feelings; sex is related to as a conquest of the other person and as further proof of one’s prowess;
- In men, maintaining an erection is more important than having an orgasm, and extreme pride is taken in the penis; in women, likewise, being seen as sexually powerful and technically skilled is more important than sensual or orgasmic pleasure; feelings in the genitals are greatly diminished, so performances of great endurance are possible, but genuine surrender to sexual feelings and orgasm is experienced as humiliating or terrifying.

PREDOMINANT NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS

- “I must never surrender.” “If I surrender, I will be helpless.”
- “Everything is a lie, including love, including me.” “Whatever I believe in the moment is the truth.”
- “I must never be wrong.” “If I am wrong, I will be humiliated.”
- “I must get others to need me, so I can control them, in order to get what I need.”
- “If I acknowledge my feelings, I will be weak and get abused.” “The world is an abusive place.”

HIGHER SELF ASPECTS

- Great leadership and executive qualities and capacities to bring people with differences together in a harmonious effort;
- Strong abilities to guide and inspire others to accomplish their chosen tasks in life and see their own specialness without competitiveness or separation;
- True innovators and adventurers able to travel “the road not taken”, or “to boldly go where no one has gone before”, without recklessness or excess;
- A genuine seeker of truth, with genuine humility, honesty, loyalty and unwavering integrity;
- A truly big heart full of love and fearlessness to surrender to the flow of feelings, life and the Higher Self.


THERAPUETIC TASKS

Develop the capacity for empathy and compassion by reversing the numbing of pain in the body and the denial of feelings in general;
Deflate the grandiose self-images by facing their falseness and discovering the longing for truth, sincerity and integrity in the self;
Deflate the overcharged upper half of the body and become grounded and energized in the lower half of the body, allowing for the experience of real pleasure and safety;
Release the tensions at the base of the skull and shoulders, and in the diaphragm and abdomen, allowing for the flow of energy between the mind, heart and genitals;
Become aware of the feelings of emptiness from trying to “win”, “be right”, “be on top”, “get revenge”, “have it my way”, etc., when the real desire is to be able to trust;
Face the horror and confusion in childhood that came from being lied to, used and manipulated by the parents that the child was dependent on and helpless to defend against; confront the illusions that the abuse by the parents meant the child was special, powerful or bad;
Express and release the feelings of hurt and rage at the betrayal by the parents that are hidden by the mask of pride and grandiosity and the fear of humiliation, and discover that those feelings are not devastating to the self now;
Acknowledge, feel and release the early dependency feelings and neediness underneath the fear of collapsing and falling down;
Release the addiction to intensity, overstimulation and exaggerated expansiveness by experiencing the true aliveness of surrendering to feelings;
Acknowledge and experience the different aspects of the personality (child, adult, higher self), opening the lines of communication between them, while establishing an identification with the adult self;
Become aware of the erroneous conclusions, images and beliefs of the mask/false self, and the limitations and unreality of the idealized self image;
Experience pleasure and expansion and recognize and express one’s higher self aspects with less fear of being humiliated;
Primary negative expression that needs release: “My way!”
Primary positive self-affirmation that needs assertion: “I have the right to trust.”


THERAPEUTIC APPROACH

Establish an honest and sincere environment being clear and direct about the nature and boundaries of the therapeutic relationship, understanding that this person will test them to discover where the hidden agendas and lies are; do not make promises about the outcome of therapy;
Engage playfully with this person’s challenging manner to begin confronting his or her efforts to be in control of the therapy and the therapist; it is important to establish a balance in which control feels and is shared, but not at the expense of the therapy; allowing acting out against the therapy or therapist will undermine the person’s feelings of trust and safety, which are minimal to begin with;
Encourage the person to talk about the betrayals he or she has experienced, and the desire for revenge, beginning with current circumstances, then tracing back to related childhood experiences; help the person face the reality that the desire for revenge is a cover for the feelings of helplessness and impotent fury he or she felt in childhood when they were being used by parents;
Use rolling to begin softening up the rigidity in the chest and to open up to feelings; use kicking, including on the roller, to begin opening up the pelvis; use massage of the neck, shoulders and chest to soften up the armoring there and to begin establishing contact with the person, providing an experience that is physically intimate, but not sexualized or abusive; use hitting and vocalization to access the real rage underneath the “blowfish” mask; use grounding and vibrating to get energy moving downwards, reversing the upward displacement; generally, a person employing this character structure will resist the bodywork early on, and maybe for a long time, experiencing it as “embarrassing”, “silly”, “not what I need”, etc., and when the feelings do start to come they may feel humiliated afterwards; acknowledge those feelings and explain the reasons for the body work, but let the person know that it’s his or her decision whether or not to do it;
In group, this person will want to “take over”, one way or the other, by challenging the therapist’s role or approach, by trying to be the smartest, funniest, most advanced, most dramatic member, etc., or by being disruptive; it is risky to directly deflate this mask with confrontation publicly, because it will feel like a re-creation of the intense feelings of humiliation from childhood, but it may be necessary to maintain the integrity of the person and the group; as an alternative to confrontation, openly support the genuine special qualities of the person and his or her genuine importance to the group; remember that this person carries a deep longing to be genuine and to constructively bring people together;
Tell this person the truth to counteract the belief that everyone lies; with the highly developed intuitive capacities that this person has, he or she will readily sense things going on inside of the therapist, but often misinterpret their meaning; within the boundaries established, it’s helpful to answer personal questions, especially about how the therapist is feeling in the moment; it is also helpful to this person to hear about the reasons for what the therapist is choosing to do, and to have diagnostic updates, encouraging the person to join with the therapist in assessing their progress;
When the underlying feelings of helplessness, dependency and abandonment first begin to surface in this person, it will be a very tenuous moment; even after a long-standing positive relationship, a person using this defensive structure can “turn on you”; impulses to quit therapy or attack the therapist may be acted out; acknowledge that the person always has the power to leave therapy, but that acting out against the therapist is not allowed; give a clear and compassionate diagnostic understanding of what is going on, and “leave the door open” for this person to come back if they want to;
When this person’s powerful feelings of rage have been released, and the body has become more supple, deep grieving may emerge, along with the true courage this person has, as well as a deep capacity to give and receive love;
Help the person recognize their Higher Self aspects, especially their integrity, to see that their gifts are there even when hidden behind the mask, and that although they have a wounded aspect in their personality, they need not identify with that aspect in order for it to get the help it needs;
In the later stages of therapy, as the person drops the mask and releases the raw negative feelings, fear of pleasure and expansion must be addressed as it comes up with reassurance, based on their own new experiences, that they can tolerate the energy now and that the fear is not a regression or a setback.


DEFINITIONS

Acting Out: a discharge of tension, impulses or feelings through action that attempts to alter or control the environment as if that environment and those in it were part of a transferential (from childhood) conflict or threat.

Denial: a primitive defense consisting of an attempt to disavow the existence of unpleasant reality.

Confusion: a defense that creates a disturbance of consciousness in which awareness of time, place, or person is unclear; this also serves the purpose of keeping others, perceived as a threat, off balance;

Displacement: the process by which energy, feelings or impulses are transferred from one idea, experience, place in the body or object to another; the substitution of one object for another as the target of feeling.

Numbing: a defense mechanism that causes insensitivity to feelings and sensations in general, and in particular, pain.

Rationalization: making a thing appear reasonable, when otherwise its irrationality would be evident; meant to act as a screen, to cover up ideas or actions intended to gratify an unconscious need.

12 comments:

bonni said...

This is my father. Not every point, but most of them. I've been wondering for years what his deal is. This describes him perfectly. I'm kind of gobsmacked, actually.

I'm confused as to what is meant by "HIGHER SELF ASPECTS", though. I've never seen my father exhibit any of those things, not even accidentally.

Also, it's interesting that the description of the parents pretty much describes how my parents treated me, but I don't fit the profile for Psychopathic Character Structure. People do appear to be born with certain tendencies and personality traits, so I must not have whatever it is that leads someone raised that way to develop Psychopathic Character Structure (I became chronically dissociative, instead; took years to fix that).

Anonymous said...

Wow! I am one of the survivors on 'Aftermath' and your take on providing 'therapy' for these monsters is interesting but woefully misguided. I have to wonder if you have ever been targeted by one, lived with one or have ever been completely devastated personally by their actions. There is NO CURE for having no conscience, no empathy, no remorse. I find your writing about this wreckless as I would hope to God that there isn't someone out there that will 'hang on' because you gave them hope of a cure. The only cure is to run as fast as you can from these sub-humans. The psychopath I was involved with strangled my small son.

Anonymous said...

How accurate this description is of this character disorder. Like Ms. Anonymous, I fully agree (having had a relationship with a psychopathic) that there is no hope for someone with a severe character disorder. The guy I dated over ten years ago attacked me and had I not unwitted him the night this incident occurred, I often wonder if he would have tried to kill me. Luckily, I took him to court and, after his lawyer postponed the trial date for months on end (devastating), won. He has a record now. The advice given in the above post - directed to anyone who is currently with a psychopath - is on point: RUN as fast as you can. Pay attention to the red flags early on. You'll be happy you did.

Anonymous said...

i was in a 2 year relationship with a psychopath. i also have asperger's and am isolated from ANY family or friends who (psychopath aftermath aside) find my situation uncomfortable and to be avoided. i want to die most of the time and get so thoroughly depressed that i cannot kill myself and have decades ahead of me in this weird, unrelenting existence. there really is nothing that can help me. it is so hopeless and unbearable ALL THE TIME it has made me lose all hope in the goodness of the universe. how can such horrid shitty people be allowed to be born and have a life and friends and fun and family while letting inherently good people suffer in total mind shattering isolation for their entire existence? i can't believe i am only 35 and have at least 3 decades of this to go. my mother has asperger's too and has no real empathy (unlike me who has WAY too much), so the first 3 decades were as miserable as well. i lost most of my income, failed out of school (my ONLY connection to the world outside), and lost most if not all sense of self and dignity through my association with him. i have no means for help of any kind, nor can i bear to leave my house even if i did. i cant believe i have 3+ more decades to go in this life. this is living a true nightmare. suicide is definitely not an option, for i have survived too many attempts (one of the reasons i am avoided and make everyone uncomfortable) and do not want to risk it again because it is just embarrassing now. the passage of time does not heal wounds for me due to having aspergers because i lack a sense of time and i am fixated on the pain and hopelessness of it all. the "good" days are days that are not horrific. i do not feel like a human being anymore.

Anonymous said...

It is true that when one is a target of a psychopath, "WATCH OUT"!
That person tries to destroy you mentally and emotionally. If you are not a target, the psychopath can really fool people into believing they are nice and trustworthy. I'm trying so hard to rebuild my life - run as far away as you can from this monster!

Anonymous said...

i give up on my psychopath. maybe not having the person who understands them best in their life prop them up socially, do their bidding, etc. will allow her to develop a sense of self that she is proud of. it's just hard because i learned how to love a disfunctional person and it wasn't good enough because they used me and learned nothing. so, without me in their life (see, i feel guilty without knowing why...) maybe they will learn how to live their own life.

now for retraining me.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the first part of this quote (below)but you make the psychopath sound like a good guy or "Hero" and he is most definitely not. He may appear so with his carefully designed facade but there is no goodness or heroic intent involved.

"Just to clarify, 'psychopathic' is not synonymous with 'sociopathic'. While all sociopaths are psychopaths, not all psychopaths are sociopaths. In fact, many "heroes" - cops, soldiers, politicians, CEO's and Captain Kirk-types - are psychopaths, in terms of their basic defensive structure."

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Anonymous said...

Until, you have had to 'deal' with one...you have no idea! i was 'married"(very one-sided), to someone, who was a sexual narcissistic psychopath, diagnosed.You can't begin to imagine, the horrors, that i suffered, from the mind...of such a person.Not only did i suffer terribly throughout, the entire situation, but...up until he died 15 years later, after I had left and divorced him!All of his intimate relationships,were all the same, all of them! It was a cycle, like a washing machine.Only, when he figured, she had had enough, was about to leave him...he'd start trying to project, her as the guilty one. he wanted everyone, to blame her, for anything...and all things, that went wrong in that relationship. he of course, claiming to be the victim, in all of these situations. His smear campaigns, were always directed to those, who..she associated with some kind of a way. he would tell anyone, his sad pitiful story, of how he was a victim, of a such a horrible woman. Anytime, he was confronted, of his behavior, abuse towards any of us, he'd go into one of his many rages...That alone, showed...he was manipulating the situation entirely.He had to be right, never wrong...never seen or thought of, as the guilty one.i had a good idea, of what to expect from him, long before i even left him. I knew, all the blame would lay at my feet, while he made himself, into another victim...yet again.I even, let him know that, i knew..he would go that route.I also let him know, that his behavior, would not allow others to believe him. I told him, he'd better try that on someone who didn't know us very well, my friends and family would never fall for his lies and deceit.he tried it though, it was a complete failure, to say the least.it was also an attempt, to make me loose my support, from others. He thought, he could force me back to go back him, by telling those lies on me.it was all about control and he had lost it. i had finally found true freedom. Being with him, compared to being free from him, was no comparison, at all.he had never made me feel, the way freedom had made me feel.
Right after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, his antics started up again..This being 14 years after I had left and divorced him now! i got a home phone call from him, he was all in a cursing, blaming rage! I hung up..blocked his number.he started riding by my house, screaming and yelling, from the road..the most horrible things a person could say to another!I was this, I was that..I was the worst of all those things!! i had someone, try to talk to him, so i would not have to deal with it through the court system.I knew, it was all about him wanting attention, as always..as usual.i finally had a cop friend of mine, go by his house, let him know...even he could go to jail, with or without cancer. He let him know, the jail had a place, for sick, dying people who broke the law.Instead of trying to make some kind of amends, he done those things instead, just like him.So..it never ends with them, not even on their death bed, they still have to believe they are right!

Anonymous said...

I have been on several dates with a psychopathic character structure man, who I believe may be a full blown psychopath. He knows where I live and where I teach salsa lessons, so I am worried for my safety right now.

After the first meeting, when he calmly told me (amongst his multiple lies) about various people he had planned to kill (but then decided against,) I decided not to see him again. He then messaged me later on in the week asking if I would be teaching salsa that night, as I had previously extended an invitation. I replied yes, and he said he thought he would be too tired to come, which I was relieved about. When I arrived at the dance studio, he was there already. I only realised after he had been watching me for 5 minutes and I glanced over at him, then went myself to greet him (he never came over and introduced himself.) He avoided taking part in the lessons, but remained staring at me over the several hours. He then took the subway home with me, (after I approached him again, because at that point I had not fully understood how dangerous he was.)

As he heavily 'love bombed,'asked many questions and listened intently to the answers (to then use that information to manipulate and seduce me)and appeared in many ways to be my ideal man, as he was shape shifting into what he gleaned I desired, I went for a drink with him that night. I did notice I felt almost nothing when holding his hand or hugging him, I guess because the charge emananting from his heart was almost non existant. I always look at the bioenergetic state of a person to assess their character, and his eyes would be absolutely magnetic and charged at times. I had read about this character type flooding their eyes with energy to control, but never experienced it until this individual. It was really odd the way they would change from dull and him barely making any eye contact with me, to this penetrating luminescent seeming stare. He also seemed to do the same thing with his breathing. Sometimes it was almost imperceptible, at others the belly would move (but never really the chest.)

As soon as I got away from him, I came to my senses again and realised what he was. Currently I have not cut off all contact, because I am trying to slowly 'fade out' without ever seeing him in person again, rather than arouse his rage at my rejecting him. I hope this is the best strategy, although perhaps the longer I remain his prey (in his mind) the more dangerous it becomes for me. . . :S I noticed some shakiness of his mouth when telling me his reason why he was extremely attracted to me, and slightly shaky breathing (his) with close physical contact, which I hope means may not be at the extreme end of the psychopathy scale, since evidence of anxiety means there is some movement of energy happening, rather than totally deadened feeling. I really went cold when researching traits of a psychopath though, because he fitted descriptions so perfectly, even to the type speech patterns he used, which from studies reveal brain abnormalities in psychopaths. Also lots of creepy moments like when he asked me if I locked my door at night :S

Becky Reed said...

This is a most interesting set of posts. I considered myself a survivor of a psychopath and 10 years out, I am now outside the prison I set for myself. I became rather a dogmatic "warrior on psychopathy." The post and responses let me know that I have changed and no longer accept "data" for its own sake. The one GREAT lesson for me has been: oddball or not, I must claim my own life.

I feel this hologram of life, energy, and sheer existence must have a bit of humor somewhere in the backdrop...screwy, perhaps, but nonetheless there. Thank everyone for their thoughts, sharing of experiences, and ideas on being ever vigilant.

Anonymous said...

I am a therapist with psychopathic character type and this description is very accurate. Having read some of the comments above, it's important to differentiate between a psychopathic character type and a psychopath. Whilst some characteristics may be shared, a person with the character type is not a psychopath. That is something distinct.

 

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