I discovered an interesting website this past week called "AFTERMATH: SURVIVING PSYCHOPATHY." As my readers know, I've made studying and treating people with a psychopathic character structure a kind of sub-specialty professionally. Most therapists consider doing therapy with someone who is predominantly psychopathic as a lost cause... and for good reason.
The ego in a person with this character structure is a fierce tyrant, at once extremely overblown and simultaneously very fragile. They rarely seek out therapy, and when they do, it becomes a cat and mouse game in which the patient is forever manipulating, lying, hiding or trying to undermine the therapist. As a result, the sense of self in this person becomes gutted over time, and the feelings of inner emptiness seem unbearable to face. When you combine these inner dynamics with the unfortunate outer reality that so many in our culture are amused and entertained by psychopaths, or taken in by their endless stream of promises, it's easy enough to see why few would want to take this person on in a healing process.
The "AFTERMATH" website listed above is devoted to people who've tried to be in relationships with this character and have lived to tell the tale. Interesting. Worth Checking out.
And check out my Psychopathic Character Structure chart HERE.
Researcher Robert Hare, whose Hare Psychopathy Checklist is widely used, describes psychopaths as "intraspecies predators".[18] Also R.I. Simon uses the word predator to describe psychopaths.[19] Elsewhere Hare and others write that psychopaths "use charisma, manipulation, intimidation, sexual intercourse and violence"[20][21][22][verification needed] to control others and to satisfy their own needs. Hare states that: "Lacking in conscience and empathy, they take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without guilt or remorse".[23] He previously stated that: "What is missing, in other words, are the very qualities that allow a human being to live in social harmony".[24]
ReplyDeletethis is how i feel about someone who has always been in my life. now this person is not going to be in my life anymore. the only thing is i feel like i am the person who understands this person the most. even if i am the ONLY one that UNDERSTANDS them and loves them anyway, i can't live their life for them or waste mine tolerating their selfish mess. if this person wants to continue doing harm to themself and those around them, that's no longer my perogative.
the only thing is i can feel psychic cords extending from them into me and they are making it really hard to focus or feel balanced or centered. i feel like a marionette being manipulated no matter how far away from them i am. will the effects (i feel actual twitching in my muscles) dissipate over time as i maintain this separation? i feel like there are certain spiritual connections that are unavoidable but there are also chakrally connected cords that are really throwing me off. hopefully karmic protection will stop these cords from negatively effecting me in the future as i continue to not seek out relations with this person.
It is important to know your not alone. Maybe this 'cord' is the voice of the drip feeding often experienced when with someone like this. I have it too. Apart for 5 years , we are still connected through nastiness and the constant need for attention from my ex partner. I have to emotionally let go, mourn even, the love I thought I had. Instead the reality is so much crueler . The true love was never really there. He is incapable . Stay away. Don't fall intobthe trap if constant arguments, retaliations or trying to explain your emotions. The more attention the longer thus will go on. My ex nearly killed me....all for love? More like desperate control . Be safe.
ReplyDeleteSTAY AWAY !
I survived someone with phsychopathy. What am i supposed to do when it was my own mother. I stared death in the face 4 times by her hands, amongst other things. No-one understands, not even therapists. How can someone understand when it didn't happen to them with their perfect lives.
ReplyDelete