"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
WIKILEAKS, THE INTERNET AND THE 4TH DIMENSION!
Shock waves are reverberating around the 3D world today because of the release of hundreds of thousands of documents and cables by the truth-telling bandits known as Wikileaks, an internet group that somehow manages to obtain secret military and government documents from around that world that are extremely embarrassing to the powers that be in 3D. (Obviously, people in the government and military are more than willing to reveal these secrets, but that's another angle to consider.)
This is from The Guardian in England, where the documents from the outlaw band were being released initially:
"Should a newspaper disclose virtually all a nation's secret diplomatic communication, illegally downloaded by one of its citizens? The reporting in the Guardian of the first of a selection of 250,000 US state department cables marks a recasting of modern diplomacy. Clearly, there is no longer such a thing as a safe electronic archive, whatever computing's snake-oil salesmen claim. No organisation can treat digitised communication as confidential. An electronic secret is a contradiction in terms."
That's a very significant statement, isn't it? We have arrived to a place, led by technology in 3D, by self-work and spiritual connecting in 4D, where we are unable to keep secrets from each other. In other words, we are inexorably moving towards oneness, whether some like it or not!
Here's more from The Guardian:
"Anything said or done in the name of a democracy is, prima facie, of public interest. When that democracy purports to be 'world policeman' – an assumption that runs ghostlike through these cables – that interest is global. Insofar as these disclosures are sensational, it is in their showing the corruption and mendacity of those in power, and the mismatch between what they claim and what they do. The money‑wasting is staggering. Aid payments are never followed, never audited, never evaluated. The impression is of the world's superpower [That's us , folks!] roaming helpless in a world in which nobody behaves as bidden. Iran, Russia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen, the United Nations, are all perpetually off script. Washington reacts like a wounded bear, its instincts imperial but its power projection unproductive. America's foreign policy is revealed as a slave to rightwing drift."
WOW! Let's repeat that last line:
"America's foreign policy is revealed as a slave to rightwing drift."
Now that's some slammin' 3D truth-telling, but again, the bigger reality is that fact that secrets themselves are becoming obsolete, and that's a precursor to a time in our future (linearly speaking) when we will all be connected telepathically.
Yep. We're going.
Might as well come clean now!
This is from The Guardian in England, where the documents from the outlaw band were being released initially:
"Should a newspaper disclose virtually all a nation's secret diplomatic communication, illegally downloaded by one of its citizens? The reporting in the Guardian of the first of a selection of 250,000 US state department cables marks a recasting of modern diplomacy. Clearly, there is no longer such a thing as a safe electronic archive, whatever computing's snake-oil salesmen claim. No organisation can treat digitised communication as confidential. An electronic secret is a contradiction in terms."
That's a very significant statement, isn't it? We have arrived to a place, led by technology in 3D, by self-work and spiritual connecting in 4D, where we are unable to keep secrets from each other. In other words, we are inexorably moving towards oneness, whether some like it or not!
Here's more from The Guardian:
"Anything said or done in the name of a democracy is, prima facie, of public interest. When that democracy purports to be 'world policeman' – an assumption that runs ghostlike through these cables – that interest is global. Insofar as these disclosures are sensational, it is in their showing the corruption and mendacity of those in power, and the mismatch between what they claim and what they do. The money‑wasting is staggering. Aid payments are never followed, never audited, never evaluated. The impression is of the world's superpower [That's us , folks!] roaming helpless in a world in which nobody behaves as bidden. Iran, Russia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen, the United Nations, are all perpetually off script. Washington reacts like a wounded bear, its instincts imperial but its power projection unproductive. America's foreign policy is revealed as a slave to rightwing drift."
WOW! Let's repeat that last line:
"America's foreign policy is revealed as a slave to rightwing drift."
Now that's some slammin' 3D truth-telling, but again, the bigger reality is that fact that secrets themselves are becoming obsolete, and that's a precursor to a time in our future (linearly speaking) when we will all be connected telepathically.
Yep. We're going.
Might as well come clean now!
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"Let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."
Kahlil Gibran
Kahlil Gibran
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"If you're a girl, you know everything about pop culture!"
Harley Grossman (When I asked her how she knew so much about the personal life of Taylor Swift.)
Harley Grossman (When I asked her how she knew so much about the personal life of Taylor Swift.)
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"The more important a calling or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we feel toward pursuing it."
Steven Pressfield (The War of Art)
Steven Pressfield (The War of Art)
THE BIG C!
Wow! What a gorgeous first season of a show ended last night on Showtime!
Graced with the graceful, multi-dimensional acting of Laura Linney and the simply simple, splendid writing of Darlene Hunt, the show's creator, "THE BIG C" was a small treasure to watch for 13 weeks. So much more than a dark comedy about laughing in the face of death, The Big C was about living in the face of limitations.
Marriage without Eros, parenting without flexibility, and the whole desperate, suburban, upwardly mobile American Dream thing - these were the obstacles for "Cathy Jamison" to overcome so much moreso than her cancer. Compared to her rigidly constructed life, the terminal diagnosis she received at the start of the series was a gift, and by calling upon every emotion available under such circumstances, Linney's Cathy chose to receive the gift. Through thirteen episodes, Cathy pursued love, Eros and sex, and open, no bullshit communication with others and a no holds barred expression of her feelings about everything and everyone.
It was an eloquently elegant demonstration of how to live life.
A beautiful show! Thank you, Showtime!
Graced with the graceful, multi-dimensional acting of Laura Linney and the simply simple, splendid writing of Darlene Hunt, the show's creator, "THE BIG C" was a small treasure to watch for 13 weeks. So much more than a dark comedy about laughing in the face of death, The Big C was about living in the face of limitations.
Marriage without Eros, parenting without flexibility, and the whole desperate, suburban, upwardly mobile American Dream thing - these were the obstacles for "Cathy Jamison" to overcome so much moreso than her cancer. Compared to her rigidly constructed life, the terminal diagnosis she received at the start of the series was a gift, and by calling upon every emotion available under such circumstances, Linney's Cathy chose to receive the gift. Through thirteen episodes, Cathy pursued love, Eros and sex, and open, no bullshit communication with others and a no holds barred expression of her feelings about everything and everyone.
It was an eloquently elegant demonstration of how to live life.
A beautiful show! Thank you, Showtime!
TODAY'S DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSION HEADLINE!
Thinking about getting married, are you? Well, if you're a woman, you might want to think twice.
Here's the headline:
Married women are 11 percent more stressed-out than single women.
Yep. According to the study that yielded this stat, 33 percent of married women reported high stress levels, compared to 22 percent of single women. Forty-eight percent of married women suffered stress-induced headaches, compared to 33 percent of single women.
It’s the kid factor and the husband factor, says Frederic Luskin, author of "Stress Free for Good": “A lot of married women are stressed because they have to nurture their partners emotionally and they’re not getting the same thing in return. Those husbands aren’t pulling their weight.”
I'm just saying.
Here's the headline:
Married women are 11 percent more stressed-out than single women.
Yep. According to the study that yielded this stat, 33 percent of married women reported high stress levels, compared to 22 percent of single women. Forty-eight percent of married women suffered stress-induced headaches, compared to 33 percent of single women.
It’s the kid factor and the husband factor, says Frederic Luskin, author of "Stress Free for Good": “A lot of married women are stressed because they have to nurture their partners emotionally and they’re not getting the same thing in return. Those husbands aren’t pulling their weight.”
I'm just saying.
SCENE FROM CITY ROCK EPISODE 6: "FLAME!"
This episode is the actual sixth episode of City Rock, even though we did the "PICNIC" episode as the sixth one in the staged reading series last July.
In this scene, FRANK CELLO is trying to convince a teenage boy, SEAN, who has just been outed as gay, not to commit suicide. This happens shortly after Sean takes the rap for his macho father, a hero fireman, who was in reality an arsonist.
The setting is New York in the summer of 1981.
EXT. PIER OVERLOOKING THE HUDSON RIVER - DUSK
The sunset over the Hudson is stunning in its blend of orange and purple colors. Off in various locations, we can see PAIRS OF MEN communing intimately on the long pier. At the far end is a lone figure, standing at the edge, looking down into the water.
Moving to CLOSE-UP, we see that it is Sean, contemplating the strong current of the river.
FRANK (O.S.)
I know you didn’t do it, Sean.
Sean doesn’t turn around.
SEAN
Some people just don’t know how to shut their mouths.
FRANK
Gene really cares about you.
SEAN
Yeah, well that’s too bad, ‘cause we can’t be together.
FRANK
Why not?
SEAN
Because we’re freaks! Fucking freaks, okay?! No one wants to drink out of the same fucking water fountain as me anymore! Or use the bathroom after me! Get it?! That’s why we can’t be together... and because I’m not going to be here anymore anyway.
FRANK
Where are you gonna be?
SEAN
Well, I’m not going to no fucking funny farm, or detention home, so I guess I’m going to hell, where perverts like me belong.
He moves right to the edge of the last plank on the pier and almost slips off. Frank moves to help him, but Sean reacts strongly.
SEAN (CONT’D)
NO! Back off!
Frank does.
FRANK
Sean... who set the fire?
Sean swallows hard, and his eyes fill up.
FRANK (CONT’D)
Why are you protecting someone like that? Someone that dangerous? Who is it that you would be willing to take the rap or die for?
Frank is suddenly silent, having a revelation, making the deduction.
FRANK (CONT’D)
Your... father? Sean?
For the first time in the encounter, Sean turns around and looks at Frank.
SEAN
(tears flowing)
No! He was a hero. I’m the loser. That’s the way it has to stay. I can’t do that to my mother.
FRANK
(stern)
No! No, Sean! You’re wrong! You’re willing to take the rap and give up your life to save your father’s image and not break your mother’s heart. You’re no loser, Sean, not at all... and you’re no freak.
Sean looks at Frank, searching his face.
FRANK (CONT’D)
(lowering his voice)
Listen to me. It’s gonna take a lot of courage in the years to come. People are going to suffer the pain of loss and ostracism just for loving who they love. But you’re up to it, Sean. I know you are. You’re up to it... because you are a real hero. There is nothing braver, nothing that takes more courage... than loving who you truly love. No matter what.
Sean takes just a step back from the edge of the pier.
FRANK (CONT'D)
Don’t die, Sean. A lot of people are dying as it is. Don’t throw yourself away. We need someone like you, you know? Someone who will say it doesn’t matter who you love, but that you love.
SEAN
I don’t want anyone to know about my father.
FRANK
(beat)
I understand.
Frank puts his arm around the young man and they walk off together.
In this scene, FRANK CELLO is trying to convince a teenage boy, SEAN, who has just been outed as gay, not to commit suicide. This happens shortly after Sean takes the rap for his macho father, a hero fireman, who was in reality an arsonist.
The setting is New York in the summer of 1981.
EXT. PIER OVERLOOKING THE HUDSON RIVER - DUSK
The sunset over the Hudson is stunning in its blend of orange and purple colors. Off in various locations, we can see PAIRS OF MEN communing intimately on the long pier. At the far end is a lone figure, standing at the edge, looking down into the water.
Moving to CLOSE-UP, we see that it is Sean, contemplating the strong current of the river.
FRANK (O.S.)
I know you didn’t do it, Sean.
Sean doesn’t turn around.
SEAN
Some people just don’t know how to shut their mouths.
FRANK
Gene really cares about you.
SEAN
Yeah, well that’s too bad, ‘cause we can’t be together.
FRANK
Why not?
SEAN
Because we’re freaks! Fucking freaks, okay?! No one wants to drink out of the same fucking water fountain as me anymore! Or use the bathroom after me! Get it?! That’s why we can’t be together... and because I’m not going to be here anymore anyway.
FRANK
Where are you gonna be?
SEAN
Well, I’m not going to no fucking funny farm, or detention home, so I guess I’m going to hell, where perverts like me belong.
He moves right to the edge of the last plank on the pier and almost slips off. Frank moves to help him, but Sean reacts strongly.
SEAN (CONT’D)
NO! Back off!
Frank does.
FRANK
Sean... who set the fire?
Sean swallows hard, and his eyes fill up.
FRANK (CONT’D)
Why are you protecting someone like that? Someone that dangerous? Who is it that you would be willing to take the rap or die for?
Frank is suddenly silent, having a revelation, making the deduction.
FRANK (CONT’D)
Your... father? Sean?
For the first time in the encounter, Sean turns around and looks at Frank.
SEAN
(tears flowing)
No! He was a hero. I’m the loser. That’s the way it has to stay. I can’t do that to my mother.
FRANK
(stern)
No! No, Sean! You’re wrong! You’re willing to take the rap and give up your life to save your father’s image and not break your mother’s heart. You’re no loser, Sean, not at all... and you’re no freak.
Sean looks at Frank, searching his face.
FRANK (CONT’D)
(lowering his voice)
Listen to me. It’s gonna take a lot of courage in the years to come. People are going to suffer the pain of loss and ostracism just for loving who they love. But you’re up to it, Sean. I know you are. You’re up to it... because you are a real hero. There is nothing braver, nothing that takes more courage... than loving who you truly love. No matter what.
Sean takes just a step back from the edge of the pier.
FRANK (CONT'D)
Don’t die, Sean. A lot of people are dying as it is. Don’t throw yourself away. We need someone like you, you know? Someone who will say it doesn’t matter who you love, but that you love.
SEAN
I don’t want anyone to know about my father.
FRANK
(beat)
I understand.
Frank puts his arm around the young man and they walk off together.
CITY ROCK! START YOUR ENGINES!! WE'RE GOING ROGUE!!!
YEP. Our very unique series for television, CITY ROCK, the one that we put up in a series of live staged performances during the first 7 months of 2010, and that many of our FPL readers attended or participated in, is gearing up to move to the next level. We are now ready to go from the stage... to film!
And of course, like everything City Rock, we're doing it from the grassroots up.
Although we do now have producers who've been pitching the show the "old fashioned way" - to execs at networks, studio heads, etc. - it is a laborious process, and the recent clamor from our fan base for action has moved us to brainstorm about other ways to make the show accessible to the public and build a greater following.
Thus, we are doing some fund raising on kickstarter.com so that we can make a City Rock short film and/or a promotional video or both.
You can check out the details HERE:
PLAY BALL!!
And of course, like everything City Rock, we're doing it from the grassroots up.
Although we do now have producers who've been pitching the show the "old fashioned way" - to execs at networks, studio heads, etc. - it is a laborious process, and the recent clamor from our fan base for action has moved us to brainstorm about other ways to make the show accessible to the public and build a greater following.
Thus, we are doing some fund raising on kickstarter.com so that we can make a City Rock short film and/or a promotional video or both.
You can check out the details HERE:
PLAY BALL!!
DON'T STAY TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS! EVER!!
Pulitzer Prize-Winning author, Jane Smiley, has a refreshing piece in the Huffington Post entitled: "DIVORCE! IT'S GOOD FOR THE CHILDREN!" It's definitely worth reading.
I have often pointed out the fact that after 30 years of working with parents, children and adult individuals, I can count on one hand the patients who have said they wished their divorced parents had stayed together. On the other hand(s), I cannot count how many have told me they wished their parents had split up.
Why?
Because nothing is worse for the kids (or grown-ups) than living in a home where there is no Eros between the parents. And I am specifically making the point about Eros. There may be love between the adults, maybe even some level of sex, but that is not enough. Parents who at best are "friends with benefits" are not providing an optimum environment for their children's growth and development.
Please take this in.
Kids don't thrive in a home where the adults are not truly, passionately in love.
Sorry.
Hunker down all you want. Go to as many soccer games and ballet performances as your suppressed, exhausted selves will allow, but you're not doing your kids any favors. Kids are sponges for energy. They absorb it like a plant does sunlight, and if the love light between the adults is dim, meaning not charged with Eros, the kids are struggling to become self-actualized.
Think about it. What messages are you giving them under such circumstances? Growing up is about sacrificing your highest joy and fulfillment as an adult? Maturity is all about obligation and sacrifice, not pleasure and passion? Gee, who wouldn't look forward to that and really want to grow up with a lot of hope for their happy future?
Okay, those are my start-your-weekend-right words of wisdom. I'll give Jane Smiley the last word:
"Falling in love is an expression of freedom and so is divorce."
I have often pointed out the fact that after 30 years of working with parents, children and adult individuals, I can count on one hand the patients who have said they wished their divorced parents had stayed together. On the other hand(s), I cannot count how many have told me they wished their parents had split up.
Why?
Because nothing is worse for the kids (or grown-ups) than living in a home where there is no Eros between the parents. And I am specifically making the point about Eros. There may be love between the adults, maybe even some level of sex, but that is not enough. Parents who at best are "friends with benefits" are not providing an optimum environment for their children's growth and development.
Please take this in.
Kids don't thrive in a home where the adults are not truly, passionately in love.
Sorry.
Hunker down all you want. Go to as many soccer games and ballet performances as your suppressed, exhausted selves will allow, but you're not doing your kids any favors. Kids are sponges for energy. They absorb it like a plant does sunlight, and if the love light between the adults is dim, meaning not charged with Eros, the kids are struggling to become self-actualized.
Think about it. What messages are you giving them under such circumstances? Growing up is about sacrificing your highest joy and fulfillment as an adult? Maturity is all about obligation and sacrifice, not pleasure and passion? Gee, who wouldn't look forward to that and really want to grow up with a lot of hope for their happy future?
Okay, those are my start-your-weekend-right words of wisdom. I'll give Jane Smiley the last word:
"Falling in love is an expression of freedom and so is divorce."
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein
DOES THIS MATTER TO YOU?!
The excerpt that follows is from a piece on Slate.com entitled "Manic Panic: Why are more and more children being diagnosed with bipolar disorder?"
Get ready!
This is from the article:
"From 1994 to 2002, the number of children with a diagnosis of "Bi-Polar Disorder" increased 40-fold. This has led to a putative (supposed) epidemic of bipolar diagnoses among the nation's children, and a corresponding increase in the pediatric use of antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and other drugs often used to treat bipolar adults. More than 8,000 children in Massachusetts, for example, are prescribed antipsychotic medications like Zyprexa, and the Massachusetts figure doesn't even include prescriptions for stimulant drugs like Ritalin or Adderall."
Take a breath, and take it in. Forty percent more bi-polar kids in an 8-year period? Really?! You mean, like, our child population suddenly went crazy after 1994? (Hey, don't get me wrong, 1994 was a bad year. It's when Newt Gingrich and the Republicans took over Congress, just like they did last week, and I certainly felt like I was going crazy, but... the kids? Did they know that Newt was going to shut down the government because Bill Clinton wouldn't give him a good seat on his presidential airplane?!)
Okay, let's be serious. Here's another clip from the Slate article:
"There was a strong incentive to expand drug therapy because giving pills is less labor-intensive than cognitive and behavioral therapy."
Shall I translate that for you? Okay. The deal is this - people in my so-called "profession" - psychiatrists and psychologists, especially, but clinical social workers, too - are too fucking lazy, and/or perversely greedy, and/or so un-worked on themselves therapeutically that really delving into the psyches of their patients is too emotionally threatening for their egos. So, relying on a flimsy diagnosis de jour, and an even flimsier prescription of drug "treatment" for said diagnosis, gives the needy/greedy therapists what they want - easy work, money and esteem, and furthermore, the label and prescriptions let the other primary perpetrators - the parents - off the hook. ("It's brain chemistry, not bad parenting.")
"The perverse result," according to the article, is that "kids get more and more disturbing labels and more and more drugs."
Keep breathing. It gets worse. Let's bring in the insurance and drug companies.
From the Slate article:
"Insurers stepped in as gatekeepers because access to psychiatrists had to be limited. Many insurers, for example, won't cover 'old-fashioned' diagnoses like 'conduct disorder,' (which requires actual sleeves-rolled-up psychotherapy and personal interventions) but insurers will cover the more 'serious-sounding' bipolar disorder (which just so happens to call for medication as the treatment, which just so happens to make Big Pharma very rich and very happy.).
Anyway, where am I going with this? I know the only preaching worth doing is to the choir, so I guess I'm putting this out there to anyone who actually is a conscious and awake parent, teacher or therapist, but perhaps might still be sitting on the fence about diagnoses and drugs because you've been conditioned to believe that doctors are wise, knowing healers who have your well-being at heart. To you I say - wake up! Trust what you know in your gut. Mainstream medicine and its methods, and that includes those of psychiatry, are not about healing or helping. Medicine as it's been practiced for the last few centuries is at best an archaic paradigm whose relevance has passed, and at worst, it is a corrupt institution whose purpose is to aggrandize and enrich its members.
Get it?
Get ready!
This is from the article:
"From 1994 to 2002, the number of children with a diagnosis of "Bi-Polar Disorder" increased 40-fold. This has led to a putative (supposed) epidemic of bipolar diagnoses among the nation's children, and a corresponding increase in the pediatric use of antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and other drugs often used to treat bipolar adults. More than 8,000 children in Massachusetts, for example, are prescribed antipsychotic medications like Zyprexa, and the Massachusetts figure doesn't even include prescriptions for stimulant drugs like Ritalin or Adderall."
Take a breath, and take it in. Forty percent more bi-polar kids in an 8-year period? Really?! You mean, like, our child population suddenly went crazy after 1994? (Hey, don't get me wrong, 1994 was a bad year. It's when Newt Gingrich and the Republicans took over Congress, just like they did last week, and I certainly felt like I was going crazy, but... the kids? Did they know that Newt was going to shut down the government because Bill Clinton wouldn't give him a good seat on his presidential airplane?!)
Okay, let's be serious. Here's another clip from the Slate article:
"There was a strong incentive to expand drug therapy because giving pills is less labor-intensive than cognitive and behavioral therapy."
Shall I translate that for you? Okay. The deal is this - people in my so-called "profession" - psychiatrists and psychologists, especially, but clinical social workers, too - are too fucking lazy, and/or perversely greedy, and/or so un-worked on themselves therapeutically that really delving into the psyches of their patients is too emotionally threatening for their egos. So, relying on a flimsy diagnosis de jour, and an even flimsier prescription of drug "treatment" for said diagnosis, gives the needy/greedy therapists what they want - easy work, money and esteem, and furthermore, the label and prescriptions let the other primary perpetrators - the parents - off the hook. ("It's brain chemistry, not bad parenting.")
"The perverse result," according to the article, is that "kids get more and more disturbing labels and more and more drugs."
Keep breathing. It gets worse. Let's bring in the insurance and drug companies.
From the Slate article:
"Insurers stepped in as gatekeepers because access to psychiatrists had to be limited. Many insurers, for example, won't cover 'old-fashioned' diagnoses like 'conduct disorder,' (which requires actual sleeves-rolled-up psychotherapy and personal interventions) but insurers will cover the more 'serious-sounding' bipolar disorder (which just so happens to call for medication as the treatment, which just so happens to make Big Pharma very rich and very happy.).
Anyway, where am I going with this? I know the only preaching worth doing is to the choir, so I guess I'm putting this out there to anyone who actually is a conscious and awake parent, teacher or therapist, but perhaps might still be sitting on the fence about diagnoses and drugs because you've been conditioned to believe that doctors are wise, knowing healers who have your well-being at heart. To you I say - wake up! Trust what you know in your gut. Mainstream medicine and its methods, and that includes those of psychiatry, are not about healing or helping. Medicine as it's been practiced for the last few centuries is at best an archaic paradigm whose relevance has passed, and at worst, it is a corrupt institution whose purpose is to aggrandize and enrich its members.
Get it?
TODAY'S CONNECT THE DOTS HEADLINES!
Wow! It has been a banner week of victories for the lower vibrational realms in 3D:
The Republicans took over the House majority in Congress (and of course, immediately started betraying the gullible, prescription drug-addled Tea Partiers by declaring their intention to increase the deficit and continue NOT honoring the Constitution);
Keith Olbermann was basically fired from MSNBC (Whew! Now there's no one left to pull Sean Hannity's pants down in public!);
And the best news of all for all those retrogressive rightwingnuts - a food lab discovered that McDonald's "Happy Meal" remained impervious to rotting even after 6 months! Yeah, man, them's eats, huh boys?!
The Republicans took over the House majority in Congress (and of course, immediately started betraying the gullible, prescription drug-addled Tea Partiers by declaring their intention to increase the deficit and continue NOT honoring the Constitution);
Keith Olbermann was basically fired from MSNBC (Whew! Now there's no one left to pull Sean Hannity's pants down in public!);
And the best news of all for all those retrogressive rightwingnuts - a food lab discovered that McDonald's "Happy Meal" remained impervious to rotting even after 6 months! Yeah, man, them's eats, huh boys?!
YOUR PARTNER WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU! EVER!!
One of the most common difficulties in relationships stems from investing in the idea that things will be better when your partner changes. That's right. It's one of the most self-defeating, unrealistic premises that undermines individual happiness.
Why? Well, firstly, because the notion is rooted in the future - "Things will be better when..." - which means that the wishful person is not focused fully on how things really are in the present. Secondly, it is futile because the illusion of that future happiness is reliant on the other person changing.
Want a recipe for relationship disaster? That's it.
Mary Darling Montero, a fellow LCSW, posted an article on the HUFFINGTON POST a couple of weeks ago, entitled "CAN YOUR PARTNER REALLY CHANGE?," in which she describes "the mother mistake in relationships" as "loving or falling in love with someone's potential, rather than who he or she is."
Here's more from Montero: "In every relationship there are things that bother us about the other person. Problems tend to arise when we ignore these things, hold onto hope that eventually they will disappear or change, or believe that we can find a way to force them out... that somehow if we just communicate, nag or wait it out, our significant other will eventually become what we want him or her to be." She concludes: "The bottom line is that a relationship in which potential is more valuable than reality is a precarious thing, because potential is never guaranteed. The only guarantee is that the person we're with today might be the same person months or years from now, with the same attitudes and behaviors. That leaves us with this question, which requires an honest answer: Do I love who this person is, or do I love what he or she could become?"
Okay, now let me do some refining here. It's not that people absolutely can't change, though for all intents and purposes, some people actually can't. If one is stuck in a character structure and well into adulthood and not doing any real self-work, that person is not changing in this lifetime. Also, if one is a young soul in this incarnation, it's extremely unlikely that that person is suddenly going to become an old soul without going through the other stages of soul development. Some people - like your partner, perhaps? - might be clear about this if you ask them. Go ahead, ask them. They might say in response: "Hey. I'm fine the way I am. I don't feel the need to change." And when you hear that, folks, you can take it to the bank. It's a done deal. And believe me, no brush with cancer or financial collapse or even a tornado on your block is going to change their position.
But much more important than whether or not your partner can change is - back to this! - YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY! Yes, it always comes back to that. Sorry. But shit never just happens to you. Including in relationships. If your partner doesn't meet you in ways that matter to you- emotionally, mentally, spiritually - it is your creation, a reflection of something unresolved in you. If you're waiting for your partner to hand you the solution to your issues, you better settle in for a long road of disappointment and frustration.
Which takes us to the good news! You can change yourself! You can do the self-work necessary to break through your character structure and to accelerate the evolution of your soul if you want to. You can do that, and no one can prevent you. You don't need anyone else's permission. The fact that your happiness is completely your responsibility is the greatest privilege of adulthood. It is true freedom. And from that place, if your partner can change, and desires to do so, you may be an inspiration to them, as long as you're not invested in their change. And if not, you will surely attract someone new who is ready, willing and able to meet you at your level.
There is no wishful thinking involved in this.
It's just relationship physics.
In the real world, no true intention goes unrealized.
Think about it.
Glad to be back on the blog, now that baseball - for all of us Yankee fans - is over!
Why? Well, firstly, because the notion is rooted in the future - "Things will be better when..." - which means that the wishful person is not focused fully on how things really are in the present. Secondly, it is futile because the illusion of that future happiness is reliant on the other person changing.
Want a recipe for relationship disaster? That's it.
Mary Darling Montero, a fellow LCSW, posted an article on the HUFFINGTON POST a couple of weeks ago, entitled "CAN YOUR PARTNER REALLY CHANGE?," in which she describes "the mother mistake in relationships" as "loving or falling in love with someone's potential, rather than who he or she is."
Here's more from Montero: "In every relationship there are things that bother us about the other person. Problems tend to arise when we ignore these things, hold onto hope that eventually they will disappear or change, or believe that we can find a way to force them out... that somehow if we just communicate, nag or wait it out, our significant other will eventually become what we want him or her to be." She concludes: "The bottom line is that a relationship in which potential is more valuable than reality is a precarious thing, because potential is never guaranteed. The only guarantee is that the person we're with today might be the same person months or years from now, with the same attitudes and behaviors. That leaves us with this question, which requires an honest answer: Do I love who this person is, or do I love what he or she could become?"
Okay, now let me do some refining here. It's not that people absolutely can't change, though for all intents and purposes, some people actually can't. If one is stuck in a character structure and well into adulthood and not doing any real self-work, that person is not changing in this lifetime. Also, if one is a young soul in this incarnation, it's extremely unlikely that that person is suddenly going to become an old soul without going through the other stages of soul development. Some people - like your partner, perhaps? - might be clear about this if you ask them. Go ahead, ask them. They might say in response: "Hey. I'm fine the way I am. I don't feel the need to change." And when you hear that, folks, you can take it to the bank. It's a done deal. And believe me, no brush with cancer or financial collapse or even a tornado on your block is going to change their position.
But much more important than whether or not your partner can change is - back to this! - YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY! Yes, it always comes back to that. Sorry. But shit never just happens to you. Including in relationships. If your partner doesn't meet you in ways that matter to you- emotionally, mentally, spiritually - it is your creation, a reflection of something unresolved in you. If you're waiting for your partner to hand you the solution to your issues, you better settle in for a long road of disappointment and frustration.
Which takes us to the good news! You can change yourself! You can do the self-work necessary to break through your character structure and to accelerate the evolution of your soul if you want to. You can do that, and no one can prevent you. You don't need anyone else's permission. The fact that your happiness is completely your responsibility is the greatest privilege of adulthood. It is true freedom. And from that place, if your partner can change, and desires to do so, you may be an inspiration to them, as long as you're not invested in their change. And if not, you will surely attract someone new who is ready, willing and able to meet you at your level.
There is no wishful thinking involved in this.
It's just relationship physics.
In the real world, no true intention goes unrealized.
Think about it.
Glad to be back on the blog, now that baseball - for all of us Yankee fans - is over!
LOFF56 RESPONDS TO "CREATING REALITY FROM OUR BELIEFS!"/PL RESPONDS!
Here's LOFF56:
I always find this discussion fascinating in what ever context it is in.
The Dogma of religion, of course is always at the forefront of this discussion for obvious reasons. Beliefs are based on what other people tell you. Of course that is, has been and always will be such a destructive force in this world and fodder for constant debate about Reality versus Beliefs.
But here's the more interesting philosophical question that I always think about when pondering this idea of Reality versus Beliefs:
Before humans had the tools to figure out that the earth revolved around the sun, were the people living in that time actually not "living in reality" because they believed that the sun revolved around the earth? The fact of the matter is the only observation they could make is that the sun came up on one side of the earth and went down on the other side. Without telescopes and other tools to figure out this enormous blunder could they really be held accountable for being ignorant to reality? Then again the facts remain that their entire "reality" was completely wrong.
So is reality completely relative to what we can actually observe? Or are we always just going to be ignorant to the one true reality of it all?
Obviously science is continuously discovering new realities every day, so perhaps all of us are doomed to constantly live in a world where the sun revolves around the earth.
Here's PL:
Always good to hear your musings about these cosmic matters, L56.
As we've "discussed" before, there is "personal and collective reality," which we do indeed create and co-create, and does vary widely according to what we believe. That is basically much of what we experience in our lives. The tree only falls in the woods if we believe it does.
Then there is Reality (capital "R"), which is the nature of existence itself. The "laws" there are simple: 1. we exist; 2. we create our own personal and collective reality; 3. we are all one; 4. love is the essence of all that is; 5. everything changes/is in a state of eternal movement.
So, I guess to address your query, I would say that everything is relative at the personal and collective level of creation, but everything is immutable at the level of existence itself.
OK, let me have it!
I always find this discussion fascinating in what ever context it is in.
The Dogma of religion, of course is always at the forefront of this discussion for obvious reasons. Beliefs are based on what other people tell you. Of course that is, has been and always will be such a destructive force in this world and fodder for constant debate about Reality versus Beliefs.
But here's the more interesting philosophical question that I always think about when pondering this idea of Reality versus Beliefs:
Before humans had the tools to figure out that the earth revolved around the sun, were the people living in that time actually not "living in reality" because they believed that the sun revolved around the earth? The fact of the matter is the only observation they could make is that the sun came up on one side of the earth and went down on the other side. Without telescopes and other tools to figure out this enormous blunder could they really be held accountable for being ignorant to reality? Then again the facts remain that their entire "reality" was completely wrong.
So is reality completely relative to what we can actually observe? Or are we always just going to be ignorant to the one true reality of it all?
Obviously science is continuously discovering new realities every day, so perhaps all of us are doomed to constantly live in a world where the sun revolves around the earth.
Here's PL:
Always good to hear your musings about these cosmic matters, L56.
As we've "discussed" before, there is "personal and collective reality," which we do indeed create and co-create, and does vary widely according to what we believe. That is basically much of what we experience in our lives. The tree only falls in the woods if we believe it does.
Then there is Reality (capital "R"), which is the nature of existence itself. The "laws" there are simple: 1. we exist; 2. we create our own personal and collective reality; 3. we are all one; 4. love is the essence of all that is; 5. everything changes/is in a state of eternal movement.
So, I guess to address your query, I would say that everything is relative at the personal and collective level of creation, but everything is immutable at the level of existence itself.
OK, let me have it!
TODAY'S LYRIC!
"I believe
These are the days of lasers in the jungle,
Lasers in the jungle somewhere,
Staccato signals of constant information,
A loose affiliation of millionaires
And billionaires and baby,
These are the days of miracle and wonder,
This is the long distance call,
The way the camera follows us in slo-mo
The way we look to us all o-yeah,
The way we look to a distant constellation
That's dying in a corner of the sky,
These are the days of miracle and wonder
And don't cry baby don't cry
Don't cry don't cry."
PAUL SIMON
These are the days of lasers in the jungle,
Lasers in the jungle somewhere,
Staccato signals of constant information,
A loose affiliation of millionaires
And billionaires and baby,
These are the days of miracle and wonder,
This is the long distance call,
The way the camera follows us in slo-mo
The way we look to us all o-yeah,
The way we look to a distant constellation
That's dying in a corner of the sky,
These are the days of miracle and wonder
And don't cry baby don't cry
Don't cry don't cry."
PAUL SIMON
Repost: Creating Our Reality from Our Beliefs
Whatever is still there when you stop believing in it is reality. Hmmm...
Arthur Conan Doyle's famous character, Sherlock Holmes, said it another way: “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
This is powerful, and difficult for many to integrate because it's not how we've been conditioned to view our lives. We very often won't accept the "improbable" event if it does not jive with our beliefs or opinions or inner dogma. We will often choose, in other words, our beliefs rather than an uncomfortable or surprising truth.
This passage by Jane Roberts, channeling the "Seth Material" is from her book, "The Nature of Personal Reality:
"Beliefs are our intensely strong ideas about the nature of reality, and we form the fabric of our experiences through our beliefs and expectations. We take our beliefs about reality as truth, and often do not question them. They are not recognized as beliefs about reality, but are instead considered characteristics of reality itself. These personal ideas about yourself and the nature of reality will affect your emotions and thoughts. Ideas generate emotion. Strongly contradictory beliefs can cause great power blocks, impeding the flow of inner energy outward. Unassimilated beliefs, unexamined ideas, can seem to adopt a life of their own.
Some beliefs originated in childhood, but you are not at their mercy unless you believe you are. Because your imagination follows your beliefs, you can find yourself in a vicious circle in which you constantly paint pictures in your mind that reinforce “negative” aspects of your life. The imaginative events generate appropriate emotions, which automatically bring about hormonal changes in your body or affect your behavior with others, or cause you to interpret events always in the light of your beliefs. And so, daily experience will seem to justify what you believe more and more. But beliefs about reality are not necessarily attributes of reality. There are no accidents in cosmic terms, or in terms of the world as you know it.
The conscious mind is basically curious, open, but human beings have taught it to accept only data coming from the outside world, and to set up barriers against inner knowledge. False beliefs will seem to be justified in terms of physical data, since your experience in the outside world is a materialization of those beliefs. Once the conscious mind has accepted a collection of conflicting beliefs, however, a definite attempt is made to sort these out. So, you must work with the raw material of your ideas, even while your sense data may tell you that a given belief is obviously a truth. False beliefs can result in a rigid ego that insists upon using the conscious mind in one direction only, further distorting its perceptions. Many quite limiting ideas will pass without scrutiny under the guise of goodness. You may feel quite virtuous, for example, in hating evil; but if you find yourself concentrating upon either hatred or evil you are creating it. If you think the world is evil, you will meet the events that you think are evil. Hatred of war will not bring peace; only love of peace will bring about those conditions. Likewise, if you dwell upon limitations, you will meet them.
Core beliefs are strong ideas about your own existence. Many subsidiary beliefs that seem separate from each other are offshoots of core beliefs. It is the core belief that is strong enough to so focus your perception that you perceive from the physical world only those events that correlate with it. It is also the strength of the core belief that draws up from the vast bank of inner knowledge only those events that seem to fit in within its organization. A core belief is invisible only when you think of it as a fact of life, and not as a belief about life. Like attracts like, so similar ideas group about each other and you accept those that fit in with your particular “system” of ideas. Bridge beliefs seem to unify two contradictory beliefs, holding a similarity to each of the others.
Hypnosis clearly shows in concentrated form the way in which your beliefs affect your behavior in normal life. Your beliefs act like a hypnotist. As long as the particular directions are given, so will your automatic experiences conform. The one suggestion that can break through this is: “I create my reality, and the present is my point of power.”
There are two ways to get at your own conscious beliefs: one is to examine them, write them down, talk about them; the other is to work backwards from the emotions to the beliefs."
Arthur Conan Doyle's famous character, Sherlock Holmes, said it another way: “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
This is powerful, and difficult for many to integrate because it's not how we've been conditioned to view our lives. We very often won't accept the "improbable" event if it does not jive with our beliefs or opinions or inner dogma. We will often choose, in other words, our beliefs rather than an uncomfortable or surprising truth.
This passage by Jane Roberts, channeling the "Seth Material" is from her book, "The Nature of Personal Reality:
"Beliefs are our intensely strong ideas about the nature of reality, and we form the fabric of our experiences through our beliefs and expectations. We take our beliefs about reality as truth, and often do not question them. They are not recognized as beliefs about reality, but are instead considered characteristics of reality itself. These personal ideas about yourself and the nature of reality will affect your emotions and thoughts. Ideas generate emotion. Strongly contradictory beliefs can cause great power blocks, impeding the flow of inner energy outward. Unassimilated beliefs, unexamined ideas, can seem to adopt a life of their own.
Some beliefs originated in childhood, but you are not at their mercy unless you believe you are. Because your imagination follows your beliefs, you can find yourself in a vicious circle in which you constantly paint pictures in your mind that reinforce “negative” aspects of your life. The imaginative events generate appropriate emotions, which automatically bring about hormonal changes in your body or affect your behavior with others, or cause you to interpret events always in the light of your beliefs. And so, daily experience will seem to justify what you believe more and more. But beliefs about reality are not necessarily attributes of reality. There are no accidents in cosmic terms, or in terms of the world as you know it.
The conscious mind is basically curious, open, but human beings have taught it to accept only data coming from the outside world, and to set up barriers against inner knowledge. False beliefs will seem to be justified in terms of physical data, since your experience in the outside world is a materialization of those beliefs. Once the conscious mind has accepted a collection of conflicting beliefs, however, a definite attempt is made to sort these out. So, you must work with the raw material of your ideas, even while your sense data may tell you that a given belief is obviously a truth. False beliefs can result in a rigid ego that insists upon using the conscious mind in one direction only, further distorting its perceptions. Many quite limiting ideas will pass without scrutiny under the guise of goodness. You may feel quite virtuous, for example, in hating evil; but if you find yourself concentrating upon either hatred or evil you are creating it. If you think the world is evil, you will meet the events that you think are evil. Hatred of war will not bring peace; only love of peace will bring about those conditions. Likewise, if you dwell upon limitations, you will meet them.
Core beliefs are strong ideas about your own existence. Many subsidiary beliefs that seem separate from each other are offshoots of core beliefs. It is the core belief that is strong enough to so focus your perception that you perceive from the physical world only those events that correlate with it. It is also the strength of the core belief that draws up from the vast bank of inner knowledge only those events that seem to fit in within its organization. A core belief is invisible only when you think of it as a fact of life, and not as a belief about life. Like attracts like, so similar ideas group about each other and you accept those that fit in with your particular “system” of ideas. Bridge beliefs seem to unify two contradictory beliefs, holding a similarity to each of the others.
Hypnosis clearly shows in concentrated form the way in which your beliefs affect your behavior in normal life. Your beliefs act like a hypnotist. As long as the particular directions are given, so will your automatic experiences conform. The one suggestion that can break through this is: “I create my reality, and the present is my point of power.”
There are two ways to get at your own conscious beliefs: one is to examine them, write them down, talk about them; the other is to work backwards from the emotions to the beliefs."
WARNING! STRICTLY 3D COMMENT!
If yesterday's MID-TERM CONGRESSIONAL ELECTIONS showed anything, it demonstrated how truly fed up people are with politics as usual, and especially with the two main political parties. For decades, Republicans have been decimating the middle and working classes of America with the shell game of trickle down economics, while the Democrats have been two-faced, feckless wimps sucking up to the schoolyard bullies at the public's expense. How great it would have been for a true third party to evolve, supporting a real movement towards fairness, integrity, openness, ingenuity, innovation and responsibility in government, at home and abroad, not to mention a conscious approach to enlightened governing (which I know is an oxymoron).
But instead of an evolved, enlightened 3rd "Party," what did we get? The Tea Party - a loose affiliation of boneheads, bimbos, racists and thugs, so intellectually and emotionally stunted, so lacking in creativity and thoughtfulness, and so utterly and easily manipulated by the psychopathic corporate megaliths and what's left of the soulless Republican Party establishment that the only aspect of our country that benefitted from the election cycle was the media, who got to cover the whole Tea Party circus act.
It's a damn shame.
But... it's really not. It just further reminds us of the reality that 3-dimensional density is an expression of our beliefs in limitation and duality, right now, and so these kind of debacles can inspire us to strive to raise our own individual vibration and level of consciousness.
Onward...
But instead of an evolved, enlightened 3rd "Party," what did we get? The Tea Party - a loose affiliation of boneheads, bimbos, racists and thugs, so intellectually and emotionally stunted, so lacking in creativity and thoughtfulness, and so utterly and easily manipulated by the psychopathic corporate megaliths and what's left of the soulless Republican Party establishment that the only aspect of our country that benefitted from the election cycle was the media, who got to cover the whole Tea Party circus act.
It's a damn shame.
But... it's really not. It just further reminds us of the reality that 3-dimensional density is an expression of our beliefs in limitation and duality, right now, and so these kind of debacles can inspire us to strive to raise our own individual vibration and level of consciousness.
Onward...