PL, you said:
"I am not 'shaming' my patients or readers by firmly pointing out their destructive and self-destructive behavior or thought patterns, and "insisting" that they attempt to do the work they came to see me for, anymore than I'm being judgmental or shaming if I tell my little child that throwing pasta across the table or stealing a friend's toy is not acceptable behavior."
You're missing the point. The parents of Park Slope that you're "assessing" are neither patients that have sought you out for your help nor your children which you are charged with raising. Unless you're assuming that they are all reading your blog and using your wisdom for their own self-actualization, any "assessment" of them are not for their direct benefit. I understand your bedside manner thing, I get that, it makes sense, I'm not questioning that, but that's not what's at issue. The real question is why are you using that bedside manner for people that are clearly not willing to listen? To tweak a popular phrase, once you catch a fly you can give it as much vinegar as you like, but the fact still remains that in order to catch said fly you ought to be using honey.
Here's the bottom line, I still think you're being judgmental. But that's your prerogative. It's your blog. I just don't understand why you're so resistant to owning up to the "J" word. "Avenue Q" the Tony winning musical of 2004 has famously said in one of its songs, "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist." It's meant to diffuse the tension associated with our small discretions by showing us that we all share at least some degree of imperfection, even in regards to things that are otherwise extremely unsavory. Another interpretation of this is that if you claim that you're 100% not a racist you're dooming yourself to live up to impossible standards and inevitably doomed to fail. So, I say "Everyone's a Little Bit Judgmental". And, "Everyone's a Little Bit Narcissistic." Right?
Here's PL:
Actually, L56, I am assuming that whoever is reading my blog is using whatever wisdom I am able to channel for the purposes of their own self-actualization, and furthermore, I assume that they are seeking some guidance, consciously or not, in how to raise the undeveloped child aspect in their personality.
Secondly, I am not claiming to be beyond judgment myself, in some "perfected" way, but my "prerogative" is not the issue. Again, it's not all relative in 3-D reality. To say to someone who is violent - "You are violent!" - is not a judgment, but an accurate assessment, yes? Well, likewise, to say to someone - "Your narcissism is hurting your child!" - is not a judgment.
Using honey to catch a fly? I prefer this guy's approach!
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