GIVE THANKS! THE RIVER IS TAKING YOU WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT!


I have spoken often about the concept of free will, and as in the "Serenity Prayer," what it actually means in the larger scheme of things, where it applies and where it doesn't. I've used the analogy of human beings as swimmers in a powerful river, said river being our Higher Self will, our destiny. One can exercise free will as a human being by swimming against the current, struggling, fighting, ultimately exhausting oneself, or one can turn around, and go with the flow, having a much smoother and faster time time of it on this trip called physical life.

The key point I've made, however, is that someone on the bank of the river would see that whether you're swimming against the current or going with the flow, either way, you're being taken downstream to your destination, which is self-actualization and awakening to the truth of your oneness with All That Is.

We are almost home, folks, almost at our destination, which is to wake up and remember who we are as conscious creators of our reality. We are coming to understand that the conflicts and limitations we've experienced for seemingly so long were just part of a mega-game we created. But now, arriving back home (And it's not necessary anymore to leave physical life to get there.), we can enjoy being human beings in the fullest, most ecstatic ways. That's why we came here in the first place.

Here's an eloquent description of the moment from "Oneness":

There would be no exultation in the discovery of the first tastes of limitlessness, were that experience not preceded by massive doses of the experience of limitation. The journey was designed, by you, to deliver you back to the beginning, but not before you were given every opportunity to experience fully what it was like to have ventured far from home. You embarked on this adventure fully confident that the signposts and maps would be there, at the appropriate moment, to enable you to return safely. For, you placed them there yourself, to await your own rediscovery, after an appropriate amount of time was provided for you to forget, totally, where they were hiding. Since this is your game, you structured it to be challenging and exciting, yet built in safeguards that would insure your safe return. At the deepest level, you know that there is no way you can fail at this. You will not be stranded for all eternity in the illusion of separation because you did not 'get it.' You have seen to that. You have simply programmed sufficient detours and side trips into the itinerary to insure the greatest possible sense of gratification in discovering that you are, at last, heading home. You are heading home whether you consciously subscribe to such ideas in the present time period or not. For the energy that propels you in that direction does not emanate from the limited perspective of your conscious physical identity, but rather, is being directed from a place of greater awareness that knows, like a loving parent, that you have been ‘out there’ long enough.”

Here's the Serenity Prayer with some revisions I've made for my meditation purposes. See if you can spot the changes and why I made them:

"God grants me the serenity to accept the things that my ego and lower self will cannot change; God grants me the courage and mindful intention and Higher Self Will to change the things I can; God grants me the Wisdom in my knowing of myself as Word to know the difference."

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Ahh...

Really?


LANGUAGE IS STILL NOT OUR FIRST LANGUAGE! (OR LEAVE YOUR PARENTS AND KIDS ALONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS!)

This is from The Book of Truth," channeled by Paul Selig:

"The presupposition that any attunement we give you can be deciphered by you and then explained will leave you witless, because the level of operation that we align you at actually has no language, and our efforts to imprint you with language are succeeding because of the intonation that we incorporate in your field. If you can imagine that the claims you make with us are chords that play, and the intention is set in language so you have a comprehension of what is becoming as you, you will understand this a little better. The amplitude of the frequency that we are working with here is vast and can hold a million and more just in the idea of its potential. In its realization as and through each of you, it holds untold millions."

Whoa! In other words, language is not our first language. Rather, it is a vehicle for transmitting and exchanging energy, vibrations, intentions.

This is a repost (below) that I initially wrote for the holidays, but it expresses a message for any time of year.

Enjoy!

LANGUAGE IS NOT OUR FIRST LANGUAGE! (OR LEAVE YOUR PARENTS AND KIDS ALONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS!)

Okay, then, the two most guilt-trip-ridden, obligation-driven holidays are over, Christmas, of course, far surpassing Thanksgiving, and any other holiday, not only in guilt, but also in sudden deaths from heart attacks.(For one explanation of why we do this to ourselves, see the FPL piece: "DON'T LET YOUR HEART BREAK ON CHRISTMAS!")

Another reason we end up undermined (and overfed ) during the holidays, and in general throughout our lives, is that we don't listen to what our relatives and others are saying to us... energetically.

Mom might say things like: "You never know how long I'm going to be around, so you better come home for the holidays or..."

Dad might say: "Remember, your family members are the only ones you can ever truly count on being there for you, so..."

You might say to yourself: "I don't think we got enough presents for the kids. They're going to feel deprived."

Ready to click on the guilt machine, yet? Well, wait before you do and ask yourself this: How do you feel when someone lays a guilt trip on you? Do you feel an increase in your desire to engage with them, an excitement about visiting them more often, joyful in your gift giving? Of course not, unless you're stuck within the confines of your masochistic character structure, and love feeling guilty and anxious.

No. In truth, when someone guilt-trips you, you feel repelled by their attempts to manipulate you, don't you? And the idea of seeing them becomes less joyful and more burdensome. Yet, over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house you go, and on into debt from breaking the bank on Amazon Prime (Don't you love that same day delivery?!).

Well, guess what? Your feelings of repulsion are not a measure of your "selfishness," but rather an accurate energetic/emotional response to the true message that the guilt-tripper is sending to you energetically, a message that you're ignoring because you're paying more attention to the words than the energy. That's right, when Mom threatens you with her pending death, or Dad threatens you with your pending abandonment, they are actually saying "Don't come home for the holidays. Stay away. Go. Do your own thing. Live your life. We spent two decades taking care of you. Now, we don't want to cook or put up a tree. We want to go on a cruise for the holidays. Alone. Leave the nest already!"

And when you're dumping tons of toys on your kids and you notice that they get increasingly agitated as the present opening goes on and on, it's because energetically, without words, you are saying to them: "Aren't I a good dad? Don't you love Mommy? Won't you always appreciate me? A lot?!" In other words, you're telling your kids: "Giving you all these gifts is a real hassle and expense, and I wish I didn't have to do it to earn your love!"

So, here's the news - You don't!

First of all, "All Love Is Unconditional," so you can't earn more. (See FPL"S Truth About Everything: Part TWO)  And like all animals and all other living beings, a human being's first language is energy. Not English, Spanish, Arabic, etc. Our first language, and the way we truly communicate to each other, first and foremost, is with vibrations of energy. "Vibes." But unlike animals, human beings have egos and intellects that can override our nature and inherent energy sensors when engaging with others. As a result, through spoken language, we communicate superficially from beliefs and social conditioning that are very often at odds with how we really feel, and therefore, against our well-being and the greater good of others.

So, folks, don't go home for the holidays or spend your hard-earned money on light sabers or selfie sticks. Have some Johnny Walker Gold Reserve by the fire with your lover, let your kids actually have the time and space to play with one or two thoughtful presents, and leave your parents alone!



HEY, GET THE EGO OUT OF YOUR "I" TODAY!

"I am not ___ enough to ___."

Perhaps the most common sentences I hear in sessions with people are constructed like the above one. You can fill in the blanks with endlessly different words or phrases ("I am not good enough to be successful." "I am not attractive enough to find love." "I am not secure, strong, trusting, confident enough to leave my dysfunctional relationship or the job that I hate, or to love my body as it is.").

I have written often on this blog about character structures, and the injuries and defenses that lead to their creation by the immature ego of the little child. I have also written extensively about the essential self-work needed to dismantle the character structures in order to head towards a life of self-actualization. Well, today, for those who are ready, I'd like to offer an exercise that can assist greatly in the process of dismantling the ego's grip on our lives. It will sound simple and straightforward, but it will be a challenge.

Ready?

Okay. From now on, remove the pronoun "I" from any negative statement about yourself and your life, and replace it either with "my ego" or "the child in me."

So, "I am not attractive enough to find love" becomes... "My ego says I'm not attractive enough to find love." "I am not secure enough to love my body as it is" becomes... "The child in me is not secure enough to love my body as it is." And so on.

Try it. You will discover how powerful this simple exercise is in revealing how identified with your ego you are, how often when you say "I" you are actually speaking the words, statements and beliefs of the ego. And specifically what, you may wonder, is the problem with such an identification? Well, a great deal, actually.

You see, the ego did have an original purpose in the developing child's psychology. That purpose was to observe events and experiences and store them in memory, very useful if you don't want to keep getting burned over and over from touching a hot stove to discover once again that it's not a desirable action.

However, what went awry living in the environments we did as little children, chronically getting wounded emotionally and psychologically by our un-self-actualized parents, relatives, teachers, etc., is that we turned to our ego to protect us emotionally:

"Maybe if my ego helps prevent me from burning my hand over and over, it could help me figure out how to get mommy to not be angry at me, or how to get daddy to pay attention to me."

The above is a logical leap for that desperate little child, but an erroneous one. You see, the ego is designed to be the periscope on the submarine, but it is not the submarine itself, nor even the captain. Operating from a primary false assumption that all little children make - that the painful effects of the parents' lack of self-actualization could somehow be manipulated or avoided by the actions of child's ego - the child assigns the ego the impossible task of providing for its security and well-being.

The ego, in turn, does its best to take on the job, but its resources are inadequate to the task. What the ego comes up with as solutions are the very things that hinder our fulfillment as adults, because the ego's main efforts are directed at keeping the true self of the child hidden behind a false self (mask). In fact, for this defensive maneuver to have its effect fully, it becomes compulsory to believe that we in fact are our ego and its various masks. This false solution ultimately interferes with the real solution that nature and life provides for the child - growing up!

So, folks, try this exercise. It's much more than a word game or semantics. It's a way to aid the self-work you are hopefully doing to detach yourself from your ego and become your fullest, truest adult self, who is of course going about the business of becoming conscious of itself as your Higher Self, and ultimately, All That Is, your one true identity.

Baby Souls

Understanding that human beings are all the same in certain ways, and as such entitled to equal treatment and valuation under the law, is a foundation of civilization. Just as important, though, is recognizing that we are all different from each other in significant ways as well. Too often, we get angry at each other, on an individual basis and en masse, because we don't accept our differences. We actually don't even really believe in our differences, especially and including at the "soul development" level.

A most excellent description of the differences between souls, called "Soul Ages" was written about by Joya Pope in her book, "Upcoming Changes." In the book, Ms. Pope explains how an evolving soul, just like a developing human being, can be at various stages in their growth process. Understanding this can change the way we deal with others in a very productive way. Just as you wouldn't expect a 3-year old to drive herself to preschool or make his own dinner, you wouldn't expect a "Baby Soul," to be able to embrace liberal, democratic self-government or guilt-free, uninhibited sexuality.
If we could understand this, for example, about religious fundamentalists - whether in the Middle East or middle America - we would realize that we can't force "democracy" or enlightened points of view on them. In their own exploitive ways, Republicans, and of late, Hillary Clinton, have understood this and used it to their advantage. In the United States, however, there are also a large number of "Mature Souls" counterbalancing the number of Baby Souls, so our government shifts back and forth between conservative and liberal forces on a fairly regular basis. The intense battle between the two main Democratic contenders for the presidency right now is an example of this conflict.

Below are some excerpts from the "Baby Soul" section of Joya's book. See what you think, and see if you recognize anyone you know!

Here's Joya Pope:

"Structure helps Baby Souls to feel comfortable in the world. They want to be directed and therefore seek out higher authorities who are willing to lay out clear rules for them. As a small example of this, a Baby Soul (in an adult human body) would rarely defend their child's rights to the school principal, but rather would push to make the child act acceptably to the teachers and administration. Sometimes a Baby Soul will seek out - even again and again - discipline from the prison system as a way to civilize himself. This soul age will hold traditional religious leaders in esteem, turn doctors into gods, and likely feel their country, their army, and certain politicians, can do no wrong.

"Traditions, rituals, and law and order provide a welcome sense of security.
In a dogmatic, black-and-white way, they identify right from wrong. Usually conscientiously good citizens, they can be counted on to do the "right" thing, but this is also the soul age with the greatest propensity to long-term grudge holding.

"The Ku Klux Klan would be a Baby Soul organization on the negative end of the spectrum, while many service organizations like the Knights of Columbus or the Rotary Club would be on the more positive end. Anti-abortion organizations, school prayer promoters, and fire-and-brimstone preachers all tend to emerge out of Baby Soul consciousness and concerns. Preferring to be big fish in small ponds, Baby Souls are often found in small communities.

"When their beliefs are opposed, Baby Souls may become inwardly bewildered. Baby Souls are so sure they are right that they have difficulty comprehending opposition. This is not a self-reflective phase.
When dealing with physical problems, Baby Souls ordinarily prefer conventional medicine, medications and surgery. Considering alternative therapies or looking for the root of the problem doesn't make sense to their way of approaching the body. With the exception of so-called "healing" within charismatic churches, this soul age is sold on orthodox medicine.
Around sexual matters, there is uneasiness, shame and guilt. This is not a time for hot tub entertaining, but hiding bodies, making love in the dark - probably with pajamas and without great sensuality.

"Baby Souls sometimes come into prominence. They don't often look for a big stage, not having the resourcefulness or experience to handle it well, but they may gather fame for their unyielding political or religious beliefs. Jerry Falwell is a prominent religious leader with Baby Soul beliefs; Oral Roberts and Jimmy Swaggart, two others. Idi Amin, Hitler, Khomeini, Bin Laden, etc., and, in the United States, Richard Nixon, Evan Mecham, Jesse Helms and some of our more rigidly conservative Governors, Congressmen and Senators are examples of Baby Souls putting out their world views on a larger scale. Pat Boone and Charleton Heston were among the few Baby Souls peopling the entertainment business!"
Hey, Joya - don't forget Ronald Reagan, who not only liked to eat jelly beans in the Oval Office, but also called his wife, "Mommy!"

NOW HEAR THIS! EVERYTHING GETS BETTER WITH AGE, INCLUDING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK!!

You get that?

I've written often (check HERE) about the illusions and conditioned negative beliefs we've carried around about aging, particularly in what has been loosely called "Western Culture," and definitely in what was once 3D, the dense level of consciousness where a belief in strict linear time meant time was always running out. In that mindset, aging was seen as a process to bemoan, thwart or deny as much as possible.

Well, folks, this is 5D, and the illusions are falling by the wayside. The veil is lifting on the game of limitation, dualism and linear time. 

THIS was in the news this week:

"A poll of 80,000 American adults of all ages by polling giant, Gallup, reveals that we feel most satisfied with our bodies after 65. Yes, you read that correctly. Not at 18, or 25, or even 40."

Yo! I'm turning 60 next month, and I have to be honest - I can't wait! All of my life, I have looked forward to being "old." Really. Even in my teens and twenties, I somehow knew that life was going to continue to get better and better the older I got. And it has.

This is from one of my posts on the subject:

"Our soul energy, the source of which comes from our Oversoul and Higher Self in any particular lifetime, infuses us gradually and continually throughout our journey as physical beings. In other words, when we don't interfere, we naturally live at a higher and higher vibratory rate as we mature, more and more filled up with the energy of spirit until, once again, we go back to being pure spirit, as we were before physical incarnation.

Many of us were conditioned to fear this process, and so look upon what is meant to be a glorious evolution as a deterioration instead. And as we know, what you believe is what creates your reality. So, for many, what can be an experience of greater vibrancy, potency, wisdom and creativity over time instead becomes a depressing time of loss (and loss of time).

Julia Moulden, in a piece entitled,  "
Over 50? You're at the Height Of Your Powers," used Jack Palance as an example of someone who remained vital well into his elder years, and showed it off at the 1992 Oscars when he did his famous one-handed push-ups on stage, at the age of 73. (Palance won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in "City Slickers" that year.)

Life is meant to get better and better as you grow and progress through it, folks. And the more light that shines through you as you move forward on this journey, the more truly beautiful you become - at every level. If you don't like what you see when you look in the mirror, you're vision is tainted by negative beliefs. 


Hey - Don't fear the reaper. Rather, just start reaping!

Thanks, Jack!

REPOST: WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL - IN PURSUIT OF EROS!

I can't count the number of people I've seen for couples counseling over the years. Struggles in relationships are among of the most frequent of reasons people seek out therapy. How one measures "success" in a course of therapy with a couple is a matter for debate in my profession, I suppose, but if the yardstick is whether or not the couple holds their relationship together instead of splitting up, then I am an abject failure. I would have to guess that somewhere around 75 to 80 percent of the couples I see for therapy end up separating. One of my colleagues calls me "The Separator."

Indeed, when I first see a new couple in treatment, one of my first ground rules is that it must be understood that we are not engaging in a process to "save the relationship." I explain that we are going to use the arena of the relationship to increase the self awareness and understanding of each individual, and then, see where that leads. Interestingly enough, very few people are really thrown by that at first, because by the time a couple arrives to therapy, the relationship has gotten so congested with anger, pain and resentment that "saving it" is not really what they're desiring (even though they will need help admitting that).

But, what causes relationships to end? Well, first let's eliminate the word "fail" here as meaning ending, and redefine it this way: a relationship is "failing" when either the Eros has died and the couple is refusing to admit it, or the flame of Eros is still alive and the partners in question are not doing what it takes to fan the flame so it can grow higher. These are two very different situations and a necessary part of self-work within a relationship is to clarify the problem.

In my favorite Pathwork Guide lecture - "The Forces of Love, Eros and Sex" - the Guide, channeled through Eva Broch, says this:

"Eros lifts the soul out of sluggishness, out of mere contentment and vegetation. It causes the soul to surge, to go out of itself. When this force comes upon even the most undeveloped people they become able to surpass themselves. Eros gives the soul a foretaste of unity and teaches the fearful psyche the longing for it. The more strongly one has experienced Eros, the less contentment will the soul find in the pseudo-security of separateness. How then is Eros different from love? Love is a permanent state in the soul. Love does not come and go at random; Eros does. Eros hits with sudden force, often taking a person unaware and even making them unwilling to go through the experience."

Yes. Many of us have had a taste of that, some of us more than a few times. The Guide calls it "Eros," most of us refer to it as being "in love." I often refer to it as the "Free Pass" from the Universe that gives us a taste of how great existence can be in physical form. But if as the Guide says, Eros can "come and go," then how can we get to "keep it" in the context of one relationship?

Well, the first part of the answer to that is kind of Zen, like Sting's lyric: "If you love somebody, set them free."

Mark Epstein, my favorite Buddhist psychotherapist, in his fantastic book, "GOING TO PIECES WITHOUT FALLING APART," says it this way:

"Clinging is as much of a problem in lovemaking as in the rest of life. In order for sexual relations to be deeply satisfying, there must be a yielding of this clinging in a manner that actually affirms the unknowability and separateness of the loved partner. It is the peculiar convergence of awe and appreciation with pleasure and release that characterizes the best sexual experiences. Separate and together cease to be mutually exclusive and instead become reciprocally enhancing and mutually informative. There is wisdom in this state, not just raw instinct."

So, Part One of how to keep Eros, like anything else you want to "keep," is to let it go. (I know. I know. Keep trying to wrap your head around it. It will come to you.)

Part Two is to try and penetrate that "unknowability" that Epstein refers to, and simultaneously allow your own hidden self to be penetrated, even though you will never be completely successful.

Here's the Guide again:

"Eros strengthens the curiosity to know the other being. As long as there is something new to find in the other soul and as long as you reveal yourself, Eros will live. The moment you believe you have found all there is to find, and have revealed all there is to reveal, Eros will leave. It is as simple as that with Eros. But where your great error comes in is that you believe there is a limit to the revealing of any soul, yours or another's. When a certain point of usually quite superficial revelation is reached, you are under the impression that this is all there is, and you settle down to a placid life without further searching."

Okay, to summarize - the way to keep Eros alive is to first, not cling or grip onto it, or onto the person who is the object of your desire, and second, to simultaneously seek to know that person at greater and greater depths while revealing yourself in the same way. Now, let's be honest - this is rarely done in most relationsihps, mainly because it requires very intensive and persistent self-examination and staying connected to the full range of feelings, including pain and sadness. Many more couples would rather either settle into a "comfortable" relationship without any passion, or have serial experiences with a lot of partners to get that initial rush when Eros provides its universal "Free Pass."

However, on those rare occasions when the "whatever-it-takes" effort is made, the result is a soaring, sublime experience of the depths of love and pleasure and soulfulness that is nothing less than the first and main reason we all became human. And know this, if you achieve such a state at any point in your lifetime, you won't care when it is or how old you are. You won't look back and regret that you didn't find such joy when you were younger. You'll be way too busy being happy and satisfied for regrets.

Now, can it all still end, even if you make all of the above efforts? Well, again the answer is a Zen "yes" and "no." Sometimes people come together for a particular soul purpose, to accomplish something together - like bringing a child into the world, or to work on a developmental task - like overcoming one's repetition compulsions from childhood up to a point. In such a case, the Eros that may have brought said couple together will come to the natural end of its lifespan between those two people. They will fall out of love. Not coincidentally, in such a situation, the couple will lose their motivation to continue the intensive, in-depth revelation process with their mate. So, couples counseling also comes to an end.

Which brings us to another subject for another day - how to end things. So much is damaged and lost during endings because we're so "bad" at them, and fear them so much, when in fact, a healthy ending can be the very crowning glory of a relationship when all of the love that was there and all that was accomplished can be integrated and made permanent in the psyche.

But again, that's a talk for another day.

REPOST: "THIS INDEPENDENCE DAY, CELEBRATE FREEDOM FROM ILLUSION!"

The Declaration of Independence, even given the 3D limitations of the men who wrote and signed it, was a great document. I use phrases from it in my book, "FULL PERMISSION LIVING: The Journey from 3rd to 5th Dimensional Consciousness," in my blog's tag line, albeit with my own added twist: "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness... through Self-Actualization!" and in my FPL radio podcasts, also embellished with a 5th Dimensional twist: "We hold these truths to be self-evident... that we create our own reality, we are all one and love is the essence of All That Is!"

Below is a repost of an FPL 4th of July "classic" - 

INDEPENDENCE DAY!

How about celebrating independence on Independence Day, and, you know, "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?" We aren't a colony of Great Britain's anymore, or of any other country for that matter, so what do we actually need to become independent of in present time?

How about illusion? Yes, illusion. And while we're at it, how about declaring our freedom from beliefs? From dogma? And from the repetitive, rote behaviors our illusions lead to? How about setting off the real fireworks of Reality?

Everything we suffer from is the result of an illusion. Money problems, relationship issues, a less than vibrant sex-life, the stifled expression of creativity... all are a function of holding onto to that which isn't rooted in reality. Quite frankly, it's crazy!

The laws of reality are so simple, so straightforward, so all-encompassing, you'd think everyone would be living accordingly. Soon, we will be. But it hasn't always been so. You see, on the old 3D version of planet earth, we were experimenting with letting our egos rule our experience of reality. Yes, our egos, that little part of our mind was only supposed to be a temporary stand-in for a brief time in early childhood, when fantasy was a way of adapting to untenable situations, until our Higher Self mind could be integrated and grounded into our personalities and lead the way out of the wilderness of childhood. But then, out of fear, confusion, laziness, we allowed our egos to stay in charge and become the ongoing dictators of our paths. Well, then, the lives that so many were leading were perfect examples of what the ego at its best could create - limitation, drama and fear.

On the other hand, on 5D Earth, as we align with our Higher Selves, and the simple laws of the Universe - we create our reality; we are all one; love is the essence of All That Is; and everything is in a continuous state of change - life is becoming much more like surfing. (Yes, I'm going to the beach shortly after writing this!) Instead of trying to constantly control and predict events, we are simply learning to stay balanced while the wave of our Higher Selves carried us to our first, best destiny.

On this Independence Day, then, why not celebrate your independence from illusion and wake up to the freedom of living in reality. It's not just about flags or fireworks or hot dogs (although Wes' "adult hot dogs" at the Seaview Market are something to celebrate!). It's about freedom.

Read the Declaration of Independence today. It's a remarkable document. It's about "Self-Evident Truths."


Self-Evident Truths.

REPOST: ADDICTED TO ANXIETY?!

This is a subject that is somewhat difficult to grapple with. When I propose to people I see for therapy that their anxiety is something they're attached to - out of familiarity, for the adrenaline rush, as a distraction from other feelings - the usual responses go something like: "But I hate feeling like this!" It's not pleasurable at all!"

Nonetheless, an addiction to anxiety is very real, and a very real dilemma for a lot of people, just like an addiction to intensity is. (See this very good Pathwork Guide Lecture on that subject)

Here's a link to an article on this very subject by Casey Schwartz, a graduate of Brown University with a Masters Degree in psychodynamic neuroscience from University College London.

And here's some excerpts:

"Considering that anxiety makes your palms sweat, your heart race, your stomach turn somersaults, and your brain seize up like a car with a busted transmission, it's no wonder people reach for the Xanax to vanquish it. But in a surprise, researchers who study emotion regulation—how we cope, or fail to cope, with the daily swirl of feelings—are discovering that many anxious people are bound and determined (though not always consciously) to cultivate anxiety. The reason, studies suggest, is that for some people anxiety boosts cognitive performance, while for others it actually feels comforting."

“Some people get addicted to feeling anxious because that’s the state that they’ve always known. If they feel a sense of calm, they get bored.”

"Wanting to feel an emotion is not the same thing as enjoying that emotion, points out neuroscientist Kent Berridge of the University of Michigan, who discovered that wanting and liking are mediated by two distinct sets of neurotransmitters."

Hey, folks, try to relax!

MORE SEX EQUALS MORE MONEY, TOO!

I've written extensively on this blog about how a vibrant sex life significantly benefits your physical and emotional well-being, and I've posted several pieces about the connection between your spiritual nature and your sexuality.


Well, here's a piece from the Huffington Post last year about the financial benefits that come with an active sex life. The article, entitled, "People Who Have Sex At Least 4 Times A Week Make More Money," finds a statistically significant correlation between sexual activity and financial prosperity.

Here's an excerpt from the piece:

"It pays to have more sex. Literally, new research finds. People who have sex four times or more a week earn higher wages than their less-sexually active colleagues at a statistically significant level, according to a discussion paper from Nick Drydakis, a fellow at the Institute for the Study of Labor, a private, independent organization focused on labor market research."

Now, to be clear, detached sex, sex in isolation, or compulsive sex, isn't necessarily a money maker, but rather sex that brings genuine pleasure to you and your partner, and especially sex that is combined with love and Eros, is what can be a path to prosperity.

Here's more from the piece by Nick D:

"See, people who have frequent sex tend to be happier, have higher self-esteem, better reasoning ability and are less likely to be depressed. More sex makes you healthier and happier. And happy, healthy people tend make more money."

I would add, Nick, that happy, healthy people  are inclined to have more sex, too.

This is from an amazing chapter in an amazing book, "PATH OF EMPOWERMENT," by Barbara Marciniak:

"The orgasmic experience connects you with your spirit, reorganizing and revitalizing your cells. Sex is like a rocket booster, and coupled with conscious intent, it can propel you into aspects of reality that can enrich your life. When you are having sex, you are stirring the life-force kundalini energy nestled at the bottom of the spine. Activating kundalini energy by means of sexual pleasure can create direct openings into simultaneous dimensional experiences that have a complete interface with the life you are presently leading."

Nicely said. In other words, folks, through the power of sexual expression and enjoyment, especially via the orgasm experience, especially with someone you love, you can access your creative abilities across the spectrum of dimensions. 

I know it may not seem romantic to meditate on financial abundance while making love, but then again, being broke and worrying about money can definitely be a buzz-kill in bed.

REPOST: "I AM HE AS YOU ARE HE AS YOU ARE ME AND WE ARE ALL TOGETHER!" (On "HO'OPONOPONO")

Okay, folks, this is top shelf stuff, bottom line, how it really works, whether you're conscious of it or not, whether you agree with it or not, whether you like it or not! If we could really nail this, really know this consciously, and utilize it, well... we'd be living in alignment with 5D consciousness.

This article is from the book, "Zero Limits," by Dr. Joe Vitale.

Here's the excerpt -

The World's Most Unusual Therapist
by Dr. Joe Vitale

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.

I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely. Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.

I was in awe.

Not only that, but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: "What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?"

"I was simply healing the part of me that created them," he said.

I didn't understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life - simply because it is in your life--is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy--anything you experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone--even a mentally ill criminal--you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

"I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again," he explained.

That's it?

That's it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, your improve your world. Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, "I'm sorry" and "I love you," I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying "I love you," I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

I later attended a ho 'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

"What about the books that are already sold and out there?" I asked.

"They aren't out there," he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. "They are still in you."

In short, there is no out there.

It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you.

"When you look, do it with love."

YOU ARE NOT VULNERABLE WHEN YOU'RE OPEN. YOU'RE VULNERABLE WHEN YOU'RE LITTLE!

I read an blog post a while ago entitled, "The One Quality We Often Mistake For Weakness Can Actually Make You Stronger," which extolls the virtues of being "vulnerable." Citing examples from President Obama to the Dalai Lama, the piece gives examples of the strength that comes from being vulnerable. The post refers to a book, "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead," by Brene Brown.

While I essentially support what the post and book are trying to say, the language of the authors demonstrates a very common error which I would like to address here.

"I feel too vulnerable when..."

How often I hear individuals begin a sentence like that. Usually, the person in question who is perceiving themselves as "vulnerable" is talking about being "open" in some situation that is revealing of their inner life to another. But this common connection in one's mind between openness and vulnerability is erroneous. 

You are not vulnerable when you're open.

The definition of "vulnerable" in most dictionaries is: "susceptible to physical or emotional harm." Okay. That's pretty straightforward. So, when are we the most susceptible to harm in those ways? Well, in two situations, mainly: 1. when we are without an option for avoiding danger; and 2. when we are truly dependent on another person or persons who may choose to do us harm. And when are we most likely to be in such situations? Well, unless you are literally a hostage in a terrorist takeover, or a prisoner of war or in jail, the most prevalent time human beings are actually vulnerable to harm is - you guessed it - in childhood!

That's right. In childhood, especially early childhood, we are essentially hostages to our parents and caretakers, without options to avoid the slings and arrows of our environment. And we are utterly and completely dependent on those others for our well-being, even for our very existence. Whatever the vicissitudes of our parents' mental and emotional health, or lack thereof, we, as children, cannot protect ourselves or remove ourselves from harm's way. We can't stop adults from hurting us, nor can we trade in one set of adults for another. In other words... we are vulnerable. Truly.

Now, here's where the confusion comes in and how the erroneous connection gets made.

As children, as newly minted human beings, we are naturally open, physically, mentally and emotionally. We feel everything fully when we're first born, and to some degree, we stay that way throughout the very early years of life. However, because of the undeveloped, un-self-actualized aspects of humanity, we are injured by our environment. Our parents and caretakers hurt us. Yet, we cannot stop them, nor can we leave them.

So what do we do? We begin to shut down, distort, and/or disconnect parts of ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally in order not to feel the pain so acutely. We form a character structure, and initially, it actually does seem to mitigate the pain, which seems to validate the conclusion that open is vulnerable, and closed is safe.

See, we can't understand truly when we're little that we're little. We can't really picture that one day, we'll be adults ourselves, and have the choices adults have. In other words, we can't understand that it's being little that makes us vulnerable, not being open that makes us vulnerable. And so, stuck in the confines of our character structures as time passes, we miss the fact that nature provides the solution to the problem of vulnerability in childhood - we grow up!

In adulthood, we can realize that protecting ourselves emotionally with the armor of character defenses is very inefficient and inhibiting, and most importantly, no longer necessary. Wearing that suit of armor doesn't make for the easy enjoyment of a sunny day, let alone for making love. On the other hand, being fully open to our inner lives, which frees up the mind and body, gives us the energy and flexibility to creatively express ourselves, enjoy life and, if need be, avoid situations that would do us harm, which mainly means not engaging with negativity. Thus, in this realization, we can engage in a healing process, in an holistic self-work process, that can dismantle the armor and allow us to be ourselves fully.

So, let go of the false belief that when you love and reveal yourself to another, you are vulnerable. And Brene, forgive me for suggesting a slight change to the title of your book, but "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be OPEN Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" would work better for me.

IS YOUR LIFE BECOMING "TOO EASY?!"

More and more people, that I've had the joy and privilege of serving as guide and facilitator for over recent years, have reached the 4th and 5th "Stages of Healing" (Follow this link, or read Chapter 3, Part 2 in the FPL book for more info).

Because of the realignment taking place in their inner lives, their outer lives are becoming more overtly synchronistic and balanced, and their manifestation capacities are becoming more conscious and immediate. They are organically using the Law of Attraction to enhance their human experience. They are lifting the veil to 4th, and eventually, 5th dimensions consciousness.

It is a wonder to behold!

This is from "The Book of Freedom," channeled by Paul Selig:

"You have designed a life in accordance with a blueprint of the True Self, which simply means that the True Self is creating for you. You are no longer the magician trying to bring something into being. You are no longer the one who must make decisions from a list of possibilities that you have created or inherited.
"Each one of you comes to this expression with a design. The bodies you are in, the energetic fields you hold, are in fact the design that is now being re-created in accordance with the Divine Self.
The vibration of the Divine Self, who has come to be known by the name I Am, assumes your body and the vehicle of expression, which is, in fact, the will. The will, you must understand, must be assumed in totality and in agreement with the Divine for alchemy to truly occur. This does not mean you don’t make choices, but how the choices are made are so much simpler because the knowing that you now possess aligns you to what you require.
"So the battles over ideas, the shoulds and the woulds, will be gone as this is done because you have no need for them."

MORE ON: EVERYTHING GETS BETTER AS WE GET OLDER!

            Everything gets better as we get older. That’s right. The natural trajectory of a human lifetime for a self-actualizing individual is like an upward spiral, from density to light. And while the depths of density, which is the unique experience of being physical on Planet Earth in 3rd dimensional consciousness, while that journey into limitation can be an exciting game, the crowning glory of the trip is the arrival back home to the lightness of our true being.

Like all of it, the experience of sex moves through the same passages from the highly focused intensity and dense physicality of adolescence and young adulthood to the glorious and soul-quenching adventures of mature sexual expression. Infused with uninhibited Eros and deep love and heart connection, sex in the later years of a human lifetime can literally bring you to tears from the sheer joy and pleasure as your crown chakra blows open with orgasms that are akin to giving birth. That sex later in life requires more time and care and attention to nuance and ambiance isn’t a sign of deterioration any more than the time and care that goes into producing a fine wine or writing a sonata is. As we grow, quality naturally replaces quantity as the prime directive.


It is only due to a lifetime of conditioning by social idealization of youth and fear of the illusion of death that we are led to believe that the golden years represent loss rather than the natural reaping of rewards for becoming conscious once again of who we truly are. These are the years to decant that wine, and play that completed masterpiece called a life.




For even more, check out these posts HERE!

REPOST: "REJECTIONS YOU GOTTA LOVE!"

Ahhh... rejection. So many live in fear of it, do almost anything to avoid facing it, often to a point where many prospective artists (or lovers for that matter) decide not to even put their creative work or their hearts out there. Yet, as the examples below demonstrate, rejection is at worst an illusion, at best a "sifting" process.

Sifting?

Yes, if you understand that the "rejection" of passion-inspired art or passion-inspired love can only be experienced as such if you define it that way. Rejections always include beliefs, "formulas for success," calculations about "what will sell," measurements of one's "worthiness," etc., instead of just a loving focus on the simple but powerful desire and joy of offering one's gifts to another or to the world. In that latter framework, "pitching" or "auditioning," then, becomes more like looking for the right home, the right chemistry with another for your work or love.

Here's a short list of rejections received by some names you might recognize:

To Dr. Seuss:
"too different from other juveniles on the market to warrant its selling."

Here's a rejection letter for THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK:
"The girl doesn't, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that book above the 'curiosity' level."


"Jonathan Livingston Seagull will never make it as a paperback." From the publisher of a magazine refusing an offer to bid on the paperback rights to Richard Bach's best selling novel. Avon Books eventually bought those rights and sales totaled more than 7.25 million copies.

H.G. Wells had to endure the indignity of a rejection when he submitted his manuscript, "The War of the Worlds" that said, "An endless nightmare. I do not believe it would "take"...I think the verdict would be 'Oh don't read that horrid book'." And when he tried to market "The Time Machine," it was said, "It is not interesting enough for the general reader and not thorough enough for the scientific reader."

Jacqueline Susann's "Valley of the Dolls" received this response, "...she is a painfully dull, inept, clumsy, undisciplined, rambling and thoroughly amateurish writer whose every sentence, paragraph and scene cries for the hand of a pro. She wastes endless pages on utter trivia, writes wide-eyed romantic scenes ...hauls out every terrible show biz cliché in all the books, lets every good scene fall apart in endless talk and allows her book to ramble aimlessly ..."

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" --David Sarnoff's Associates in rejecting a proposal for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." -- A YALE UNIVERSITY professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" --H.M. Warner (Warner Brothers) before rejecting proposal for movies with sound in 1927.

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." --Gary Cooper on his decision to reject the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."-- Rejection letter to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." --Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." --Ken Olsen, pres., chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 (I owe this quote to Yasemin Urkmez).

"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training." --Rejection letter to Arthur Jones, who invented the Nautilus Fitness Machine.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981, rejecting proposal for larger computer memory.

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949.

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." --Charles H. Duell,Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." --Marshall Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction". --Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872.

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall in rejecting a book on data processing, 1957.

"I do not believe the introduction of motor-cars will ever affect the riding of horses" -- Mr Scott-Montague, MP, in 1903 in the United Kingdom 

"I do not think it would be practicable to introduce pedestrian crossings in London" -- Colonel Ashley, MP, Roads Minister in Britain, in 1927 

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." --Western Union internal memo, 1876 

"So we went o Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" --Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P inetersted in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.

"Who the hell wants to copy a document on plain paper???!!!" -- 1940 Rejection Letter to Chester Carlson, inventor of the XEROX machine (Note: In fact, over 20 companies rejected his "useless" idea between 1939 and 1944. Even the National Inventors Council dismissed it. Today, the Rank Xerox Corporation has an annual revenue in the range of one billion dollars.)

AND THE ALL-TIME WINNER REJECTION IS:

Decca Records rejecting The Beatles in 1962, an executive saying: "guitar groups are on the way out" and "the Beatles have no future in show business."



 

blogger templates 3 columns | Make Money Online