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"RICO" COMMENTS ON PL'S "VULNERABILITY" POST!
"It wasn't until I made this connection that I could truly forgive everyone. It comes and goes but once I made the realization it was akin to passing thru a doorway. Thanks for your writings and the life you're living and sharing."
Rico
PL: Thank you, Rico! And by the way, the trip on the other side of that doorway is marvelous! Enjoy!
Rico
PL: Thank you, Rico! And by the way, the trip on the other side of that doorway is marvelous! Enjoy!
IF YOUR PARENT WAS A HOARDER, YOU DID NOT HAVE A "NORMAL" CHILDHOOD!
I'm sorry to do this, but here's the truth: whenever a new patient arrives to my office and begins the session by saying that they had a "normal" childhood, or that a parent was their "best friend," or some such idealization, I know it's going to be a bit of a row to hoe. It's not that the purpose of therapy is to trash your parents, or to blame them for all of your dysfunctions, but I've been waiting for over 30 years to meet someone, in or out of therapy, who had a "normal" childhood. What most people mean by "normal," is "typical." But the fact that the majority of families are riddled with disorder, does not mean it's normal.
There's a new memoir out called, "COMING CLEAN," written by Kimberly Rae Miller, about growing up in a "hoarder household." I have a great deal of compassion for Kimberly, and appreciate her courage in revealing the details of her childhood trauma, but as a practitioner who has worked with adult children of OCD parents, I have to set the record straight because denial is one of the main defenses that slows down the healing process in therapy. Again, while it's not useful to denigrate or slander our parents, it is necessary to one's self-actualization to acknowledge the wounds suffered at the hands of our primary caretakers, and to release the rage and sorrow those injuries caused us to suppress and stockpile in our emotional and physical bodies.
Here's an excerpt from Kimberly's book:
"In many ways, I had a really normal childhood. I had parents who were there for everything—every soccer game, every dance recital. My parents wanted me, and I always felt that."
And then:
"The hard thing was in knowing my normal was really, really abnormal for the rest of the world. I always felt this compulsive need to hide who I really was from the rest of the world. So no one would ever see my house or see our car because there were things in our car. I was incredibly shy as a child because I just didn’t want to be noticed. I didn’t want to bring attention to me or the way we lived."
I am not just nitpicking semantics here, folks. How we talk to ourselves about our our experiences, and the words we use in our inner lives, act as hypnotic suggestions that then create the reality we live out. In order to say "I had a normal childhood," while simultaneously saying "I wanted to be invisible to the world" because of a parent's disorder, requires the offspring in this situation to split themselves internally in order to hold the contradiction in their consciousness.
"Splitting," a compartmentalization of opposite and conflicting affect states, is a defense mechanism in which a person, when faced with emotional stress or conflict, views himself or others as all good or all bad, or alternates between idealizing and devaluing the self or another; positive and negative qualities in the self or others are unable to be integrated into cohesive images. This splitting causes many difficulties in every area of life.
Folks, if you face the genuine slings and arrows of your childhoods, you will not end up hating your parents... or yourself. You will arrive to a natural compassion for them and an organic forgiveness. But if you cover up and confuse yourself, it will be for no one's sake. It will be to the detriment of your health and well-being, and equally, it won't benefit your parents or anyone else either.
The truth will always set you free.
There's a new memoir out called, "COMING CLEAN," written by Kimberly Rae Miller, about growing up in a "hoarder household." I have a great deal of compassion for Kimberly, and appreciate her courage in revealing the details of her childhood trauma, but as a practitioner who has worked with adult children of OCD parents, I have to set the record straight because denial is one of the main defenses that slows down the healing process in therapy. Again, while it's not useful to denigrate or slander our parents, it is necessary to one's self-actualization to acknowledge the wounds suffered at the hands of our primary caretakers, and to release the rage and sorrow those injuries caused us to suppress and stockpile in our emotional and physical bodies.
Here's an excerpt from Kimberly's book:
"In many ways, I had a really normal childhood. I had parents who were there for everything—every soccer game, every dance recital. My parents wanted me, and I always felt that."
And then:
"The hard thing was in knowing my normal was really, really abnormal for the rest of the world. I always felt this compulsive need to hide who I really was from the rest of the world. So no one would ever see my house or see our car because there were things in our car. I was incredibly shy as a child because I just didn’t want to be noticed. I didn’t want to bring attention to me or the way we lived."
I am not just nitpicking semantics here, folks. How we talk to ourselves about our our experiences, and the words we use in our inner lives, act as hypnotic suggestions that then create the reality we live out. In order to say "I had a normal childhood," while simultaneously saying "I wanted to be invisible to the world" because of a parent's disorder, requires the offspring in this situation to split themselves internally in order to hold the contradiction in their consciousness.
"Splitting," a compartmentalization of opposite and conflicting affect states, is a defense mechanism in which a person, when faced with emotional stress or conflict, views himself or others as all good or all bad, or alternates between idealizing and devaluing the self or another; positive and negative qualities in the self or others are unable to be integrated into cohesive images. This splitting causes many difficulties in every area of life.
Folks, if you face the genuine slings and arrows of your childhoods, you will not end up hating your parents... or yourself. You will arrive to a natural compassion for them and an organic forgiveness. But if you cover up and confuse yourself, it will be for no one's sake. It will be to the detriment of your health and well-being, and equally, it won't benefit your parents or anyone else either.
The truth will always set you free.
TOLLE FOR PRESIDENT?!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us."
Hail to the Chief?
You probably already know the above quote. Nelson Mandela famously used it in an inaugural address. It is generally attributed to spiritual writer ("Return To Love") and teacher (" A Course In Miracles"), Marianne Williamson, who recently made headlines by announcing that she is... wait for it... running for Congress!
That's right. Williamson is running in California's 33rd district, looking to oust long-term Congressman Henry Waxman.
Well, why not? Spiritual teachers creating a new wave in government? Love and light as the foundation of a political campaign? Consciousness and enlightenment as the measure of a candidate's capacity to govern?
Folks, let your imagination have a go at it. This is 5D, remember? Anything is possible.
Congresswoman Marianne Williamson? How about Congressman Depak Chopra? Or Senator Wayne Dyer? Attorney General Shakti Gawain? Secretary of State Neale Donald Walsch? Health and Human Services Secretary Louise Hay?And President Eckhart Tolle?!
Hey... How's this for a government?
Hail to the Chief?
"BECKI" LIKES PL'S POST ON VULNERABILITY!
"I really like your thinking on this. It makes so much sense and actually helps me feel more of my own power. Thanks!
Becki"
PL:
You're welcome, Becki, and thanks for commenting.
Becki"
PL:
You're welcome, Becki, and thanks for commenting.
WHAT DO CEO'S, RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS AND CHILDREN OF UNHAPPY DIVORCE HAVE IN COMMON? LYING!
That's the conclusion of a study conducted by Jason Childs of the University of Regina in Canada.
While men and women showed no significant difference in the frequency of lying per their gender, and while the offspring of single parent homes where either a parent had died or the separation was amicable also showed a low degree of lying tendencies, dishonesty was directly proportional to one's religiosity, to one's majoring in business or to growing up in a less-than-harmonious divorce situation.
This may not sound very profoundly therapeutic here, folks, but... DUH!!!
In each of the three mentioned situations, one has to either lie to others, to oneself or both in order to maintain some sense of power, however false or fleeting, under the duress of those cultures. When the underlying motives of an institution are power over rather than power for, dishonesty becomes the main means to those ends.
Are all children who grow up caught in the middle of two parents in a state of conflict and disunity doomed to become liars? Well, no, because there's always therapy. Are all individuals whose trajectory takes them to Wall Street, or to church, inevitably going to embrace dishonesty as a lifestyle at some point at some level?
Uhhh...
While men and women showed no significant difference in the frequency of lying per their gender, and while the offspring of single parent homes where either a parent had died or the separation was amicable also showed a low degree of lying tendencies, dishonesty was directly proportional to one's religiosity, to one's majoring in business or to growing up in a less-than-harmonious divorce situation.
This may not sound very profoundly therapeutic here, folks, but... DUH!!!
In each of the three mentioned situations, one has to either lie to others, to oneself or both in order to maintain some sense of power, however false or fleeting, under the duress of those cultures. When the underlying motives of an institution are power over rather than power for, dishonesty becomes the main means to those ends.
Are all children who grow up caught in the middle of two parents in a state of conflict and disunity doomed to become liars? Well, no, because there's always therapy. Are all individuals whose trajectory takes them to Wall Street, or to church, inevitably going to embrace dishonesty as a lifestyle at some point at some level?
Uhhh...
FOLLOW-UP TO: "GET UP... AND TAKE A NAP!"
"Napping, meditating, anything that gives your mind a bit of respite from the ever-quickening rat race of modern day life are essential to allow your brain to recover. And here’s the kicker (which we all pretty much already know but haven’t quite put into practice): Downtime increases productivity."
The above is from a piece on Truthdig entitled: "Americans Need More Down Time-Seriously." This is a subject always near the front of my consciousness. A while ago, I posted excerpts from another piece on the Huffington Post that was entitled: "Why Companies Should Insist That Employees Take Naps," by Tony Scwartz, author of the book, The Way We're Working Isn't Working.
Folks, I started taking naps in the late 1980's, at the same time that I began meditating, and I have never stopped. More than twenty-five years later, both meditating and napping are still a regular part of my life, and very often, they overlap as the same event. Lasting anywhere from 15 to 50 minutes , prime nap time for me is roughly sometime between 2 and 4 PM, but it can be almost anytime if schedule dictates. Yes, there's always time for a quick dip.
Here's Tony Schwartz:
"The best time for a nap is between 1 and 3 p.m., when the body most craves a period of sleep. The ideal length for a workplace nap is 30 minutes or less, which assures that you won't fall into the deeper stages of sleep, and awake with that loopy feeling scientists call 'sleep inertia."
"A nap," argues Mathew Walker, a sleep researcher at Berkeley, "not only rights the wrong of prolonged wakefulness, but at a neurocognitive level, it moves you beyond where you were before you took a nap."
The notion of solving an intractable mental problem by "sleeping on it," which many have found effective, speaks to Walker's point.
Interesting, what Schwartz and Walker have to say, from a strictly physical/linear perspective, and I do agree with the conclusion, as do the Italians, Mexicans and many other cultures who consider the early-to-mid afternoon hours prime siesta time.
From a spiritual perspective, though, there is another way to understand the value of napping.
I knew back in the 80's that not only was my capacity to nap and my practicing meditation connected in terms of my growing ability to relax my mind and body, but that my relationship between physical and non-physical reality was somehow involved.
"Seth," the spiritual entity channeled over a course of 20 years or so by Jane Roberts, claimed that a 4 to 6-hour block of sleep during the night, "reinforced by whatever nap feels natural," would be the "ideal." "In such circumstances," Seth says, "there are not the great artificial divisions created between the two states of consciousness. The conscious mind is better able to remember and assimilate its dreaming experience, and in dreams the self can use its waking experience more efficiently."
Seth goes on to say that this kind of fluid sleeping situation comes into being naturally as human beings get older, but because of our beliefs, we consider ourselves to be suffering from insomnia, and cannot then utilize the experience properly. "Both the conscious and unconscious would operate far more effectively under an abbreviated sleeping program," according to Seth, "and for those involved in 'creative' endeavors, this kind of schedule would bring greater intuition and applied knowledge"
Indeed, I have found that the 3 AM wake-up, or the 3 PM nap break, when I give in to the process, has frequently led to inspirations in my work as a writer.
Bottom line, folks, taking naps can have great benefits for both your physical and mental health, spiritual awareness and creative expression. So, if you were counting on sleeping in this weekend, get up... and then take a nap later, while you're TiVo-ing the Yankee game.
The above is from a piece on Truthdig entitled: "Americans Need More Down Time-Seriously." This is a subject always near the front of my consciousness. A while ago, I posted excerpts from another piece on the Huffington Post that was entitled: "Why Companies Should Insist That Employees Take Naps," by Tony Scwartz, author of the book, The Way We're Working Isn't Working.
Folks, I started taking naps in the late 1980's, at the same time that I began meditating, and I have never stopped. More than twenty-five years later, both meditating and napping are still a regular part of my life, and very often, they overlap as the same event. Lasting anywhere from 15 to 50 minutes , prime nap time for me is roughly sometime between 2 and 4 PM, but it can be almost anytime if schedule dictates. Yes, there's always time for a quick dip.
Here's Tony Schwartz:
"The best time for a nap is between 1 and 3 p.m., when the body most craves a period of sleep. The ideal length for a workplace nap is 30 minutes or less, which assures that you won't fall into the deeper stages of sleep, and awake with that loopy feeling scientists call 'sleep inertia."
"A nap," argues Mathew Walker, a sleep researcher at Berkeley, "not only rights the wrong of prolonged wakefulness, but at a neurocognitive level, it moves you beyond where you were before you took a nap."
The notion of solving an intractable mental problem by "sleeping on it," which many have found effective, speaks to Walker's point.
Interesting, what Schwartz and Walker have to say, from a strictly physical/linear perspective, and I do agree with the conclusion, as do the Italians, Mexicans and many other cultures who consider the early-to-mid afternoon hours prime siesta time.
From a spiritual perspective, though, there is another way to understand the value of napping.
I knew back in the 80's that not only was my capacity to nap and my practicing meditation connected in terms of my growing ability to relax my mind and body, but that my relationship between physical and non-physical reality was somehow involved.
"Seth," the spiritual entity channeled over a course of 20 years or so by Jane Roberts, claimed that a 4 to 6-hour block of sleep during the night, "reinforced by whatever nap feels natural," would be the "ideal." "In such circumstances," Seth says, "there are not the great artificial divisions created between the two states of consciousness. The conscious mind is better able to remember and assimilate its dreaming experience, and in dreams the self can use its waking experience more efficiently."
Seth goes on to say that this kind of fluid sleeping situation comes into being naturally as human beings get older, but because of our beliefs, we consider ourselves to be suffering from insomnia, and cannot then utilize the experience properly. "Both the conscious and unconscious would operate far more effectively under an abbreviated sleeping program," according to Seth, "and for those involved in 'creative' endeavors, this kind of schedule would bring greater intuition and applied knowledge"
Indeed, I have found that the 3 AM wake-up, or the 3 PM nap break, when I give in to the process, has frequently led to inspirations in my work as a writer.
Bottom line, folks, taking naps can have great benefits for both your physical and mental health, spiritual awareness and creative expression. So, if you were counting on sleeping in this weekend, get up... and then take a nap later, while you're TiVo-ing the Yankee game.
TODAY'S QUOTE! (HOW YOU DEFINE IT IS WHAT YOU GET!)
“Understand that no matter what anyone else’s intention is towards you, you always, all of you, have the opportunity to decide that only a positive effect will result for you in your life regarding any experience because your physical reality is only the product of how you define it, and if you define it in a positive way, you’ll only get a positive result no matter whether someone else has a negative intention towards you or not. That’s how it works. That’s physics!”
Bashar
Bashar
WOLF WHISPERER MUSICAL PRODIGY SEES COLORS IN SOUNDS!
Her name is Helene Grimaud. She is 43 years old, though her appearance is ageless. While she was born and raised in France, she blithely says, "I always thought it wasn't where I came from." She lives with wolves, plays the piano with stunning virtuosity, and she is gifted with "synesthesia" (the ability to see colors in sound), which is considered a "condition," of course, by mainstream medicine.
Folks, this is 5D! Where do you think she is from?
Folks, this is 5D! Where do you think she is from?
WHEN THE MAGIC GOES!
Here's a link to a very direct and high-level piece on Eros leaving a relationship: "WHEN THE MAGIC GOES IN RELATIONSHIP."
Also see the FPL post: "WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL" and, of course, the Pathwork Guide lecture: "THE FORCES OF LOVE, EROS AND SEX."
Also see the FPL post: "WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL" and, of course, the Pathwork Guide lecture: "THE FORCES OF LOVE, EROS AND SEX."
AN FPL READER ASKS ABOUT THE ORAL-RIGID CHARACTER STRUCTURE COMBO!
An FPL reader posed a very interesting and challenging question regarding PL's post on COMBINED CHARACTER STRUCTURES:
"Dear PL, what about the Oral-Rigid mix female? This structure has some masochistic traits but the oral deprivation is more dominant, so the women are largely passive rather than aggressive - but can flare up. I would LOVE to understand this structure more - can you perhaps expand on it a little bit?
TIA"
Here's PL:
Thanks for writing in, Tia. Challenging question indeed.
A person with an oral-rigid character structure combination is interesting, and perhaps less frequently encountered because the oral cs is quite pre-genital in terms of developmental stage (1st year and a half of life), while the rigid character structure is the only one that occurs during the genital stage of development (4 to 5 years).
This person consequently can present as a contradictory mix of immature neediness and mature competence. If the orality is compensated, in combination with the rigidity, this person can be quite a "doer" - a overly spectacular caretaker type, a "super nurse," for example, but like Edie Falco's "Nurse Jackie," with an underpinning of addiction or the potential for occasional collapse.This person can be simultaneously developed and charged sexually, yet often desire sex for the purposes of emotional support and validation.
An interesting thing to note and consider is that in my practice, I have not encountered this character combination in a male patient.
Thank you for this inquiry, Tia.
"Dear PL, what about the Oral-Rigid mix female? This structure has some masochistic traits but the oral deprivation is more dominant, so the women are largely passive rather than aggressive - but can flare up. I would LOVE to understand this structure more - can you perhaps expand on it a little bit?
TIA"
Here's PL:
Thanks for writing in, Tia. Challenging question indeed.
A person with an oral-rigid character structure combination is interesting, and perhaps less frequently encountered because the oral cs is quite pre-genital in terms of developmental stage (1st year and a half of life), while the rigid character structure is the only one that occurs during the genital stage of development (4 to 5 years).
This person consequently can present as a contradictory mix of immature neediness and mature competence. If the orality is compensated, in combination with the rigidity, this person can be quite a "doer" - a overly spectacular caretaker type, a "super nurse," for example, but like Edie Falco's "Nurse Jackie," with an underpinning of addiction or the potential for occasional collapse.This person can be simultaneously developed and charged sexually, yet often desire sex for the purposes of emotional support and validation.
An interesting thing to note and consider is that in my practice, I have not encountered this character combination in a male patient.
Thank you for this inquiry, Tia.
AN FPL READER ON PL'S PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER HEROES!
An FPL reader left this comment on PL's post: "THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE":
"I agree with the first part of this quote (below) but you make the psychopath sound like a good guy or 'Hero' and he is most definitely not. He may appear so with his carefully designed facade but there is no goodness or heroic intent involved."
'Just to clarify, 'psychopathic' is not synonymous with 'sociopathic'. While all sociopaths are psychopaths, not all psychopaths are sociopaths. In fact, many 'heroes' - cops, soldiers, politicians, CEO's and Captain Kirk-types - are psychopaths, in terms of their basic defensive structure."
Here's PL's response:
Thank you for writing in. Note that the so-called "heroes" that I mentioned in my Psychopathic Character Structure chart, all have something in common - they are willing to lie, steal and/or kill for their cause or their side. That is what makes them psychopathic, regardless of how society reveres them or not. Also note that the psychopath, like every other character structure has a Higher Self underlying the distorted defensive structure, and therefore is always available to use an act of psychopathy for growth and some greater good.
"I agree with the first part of this quote (below) but you make the psychopath sound like a good guy or 'Hero' and he is most definitely not. He may appear so with his carefully designed facade but there is no goodness or heroic intent involved."
'Just to clarify, 'psychopathic' is not synonymous with 'sociopathic'. While all sociopaths are psychopaths, not all psychopaths are sociopaths. In fact, many 'heroes' - cops, soldiers, politicians, CEO's and Captain Kirk-types - are psychopaths, in terms of their basic defensive structure."
Here's PL's response:
Thank you for writing in. Note that the so-called "heroes" that I mentioned in my Psychopathic Character Structure chart, all have something in common - they are willing to lie, steal and/or kill for their cause or their side. That is what makes them psychopathic, regardless of how society reveres them or not. Also note that the psychopath, like every other character structure has a Higher Self underlying the distorted defensive structure, and therefore is always available to use an act of psychopathy for growth and some greater good.
AN FPL READER ON PL'S SCHIZOID CHARACTER DILEMMA!
An anonymous FPL reader left this comment on PL's post: "THE SCHIZOID CHARACTER STRUCTURE":
"Hi,
Enjoyed the article. I strongly relate to this state of being. My problem is wanting to change - I don't like it's effects but the nature of the condition blocks change. Leaving the world looks like a great option, rather than trying to ground into it. How can I want to change if the nature of the condition makes engaging the world appear so pathetic, pitiful and ignorant? I often think of humanity as quite pathetic. Of those who engage the world as ignorant, and the process of engaging the world as completely undesirable. I'd change if I could, but I'm quite powerless over this world view as it's been with me since the first months of birth - as you have suggested - and I believe, began before with a resistance to the act of incarnation itself.
And yes, I am a therapist and teacher who helps many connect with their spiritual side - but dealing with anything outside of this is painful and overwhelming."
Here's PL:
Thank you for sharing these very personal thoughts and feelings. As I said to the previous FPL reader who wrote in about the Psychopathic Character Structure, every person's personality has as its foundation a Higher Self that is not rooted in the defense mechanisms, limitations and confines of a character structure. That Higher Self is essentially who we are.
Also, understand that while there may indeed have been some "last minute" resistance in our descending soul when incarnating as a physical human being, the plan itself is always a highly conscious one that includes the tools we need to become self-actualized if we desire.
The fact that you are engaged in helping others connect to their spiritual side, and the fact that you are writing to me, indicates some thread of a desire to change and grow on your part, and some level of knowingness that it is possible. It may require a fair amount of determined self-work to energize yourself in that direction, but as I frequently say to my patients, this is not a "wait-'till-the-end-to-get-your-reward" kind of process. Once you engage in an intensive healing process, mind-body-emotions-spirit, you can begin to reap the benefits immediately.
You don't sound like you have given up on these possibilities yet. Know that it is always a choice.
"Hi,
Enjoyed the article. I strongly relate to this state of being. My problem is wanting to change - I don't like it's effects but the nature of the condition blocks change. Leaving the world looks like a great option, rather than trying to ground into it. How can I want to change if the nature of the condition makes engaging the world appear so pathetic, pitiful and ignorant? I often think of humanity as quite pathetic. Of those who engage the world as ignorant, and the process of engaging the world as completely undesirable. I'd change if I could, but I'm quite powerless over this world view as it's been with me since the first months of birth - as you have suggested - and I believe, began before with a resistance to the act of incarnation itself.
And yes, I am a therapist and teacher who helps many connect with their spiritual side - but dealing with anything outside of this is painful and overwhelming."
Here's PL:
Thank you for sharing these very personal thoughts and feelings. As I said to the previous FPL reader who wrote in about the Psychopathic Character Structure, every person's personality has as its foundation a Higher Self that is not rooted in the defense mechanisms, limitations and confines of a character structure. That Higher Self is essentially who we are.
Also, understand that while there may indeed have been some "last minute" resistance in our descending soul when incarnating as a physical human being, the plan itself is always a highly conscious one that includes the tools we need to become self-actualized if we desire.
The fact that you are engaged in helping others connect to their spiritual side, and the fact that you are writing to me, indicates some thread of a desire to change and grow on your part, and some level of knowingness that it is possible. It may require a fair amount of determined self-work to energize yourself in that direction, but as I frequently say to my patients, this is not a "wait-'till-the-end-to-get-your-reward" kind of process. Once you engage in an intensive healing process, mind-body-emotions-spirit, you can begin to reap the benefits immediately.
You don't sound like you have given up on these possibilities yet. Know that it is always a choice.
THE "GRANDFATHER PARADOX" ISN'T REAL!
Contrary to the way it’s most often portrayed in the movies, time travel, while definitely possible, is never to a place on your own time line. When you travel back to the “past,” it can only be to a parallel line of reality, even if it is one that very, very closely resembles the current one you’re in. Or on. The so-called “Grandfather Paradox,” a staple of science fiction, where you go back into the past and kill your grandfather, thereby eliminating the possibility that you would ever have been born and been able to eventually go back in time to kill your grandfather, is in fact, a fictional dilemma. Why? Because the grandfather you would be killing would be in a parallel line of reality, and therefore a different version of himself, which means that the you that would never be born would be, or would have been, a different version of you. (Likewise, the “Marty” that was disappearing in “Back To The Future” because he was inadvertently preventing his parents from ever meeting, couldn’t be the Marty who went back to the past, because that past was a parallel line of reality, and that disappearing Marty was a different version of himself.)
Get it?
REPOST: IT'S 2013! WHICH EARTH ARE YOU ON?!
Well, actually, if you're reading this, which means you're in my reality and haven't become a "Whatever Happened To..." for me, then you may already have noticed that we're on a "new Earth," which is to say a 5D version of Earth. Yep. Sources say we shifted as planned on 12/21/12, as predicted by the Mayans thousands of years ago, and by many other soothsayers since. Obviously, it didn't mean getting hit by a comet or starting a nuclear conflagration or succumbing to a deadly plague, although there were some natural and man-made disasters for sure in the months leading up to the shift, and many human beings and animals continue to leave the planet in record numbers.
But here we are, well into 2013. We made it!
Disappointed? Were you hoping for a "big bang" of some sort? Does the world still look like it did in 3D to you? Well... take another look. The rules have changed. That is the first round of the shifting process. Next come the outer changes that always flow from inner changes, and many of you made big inner changes in 2012. This first quarter of the new year/new Earth was a chance to catch our collective breaths, but my sources and many people around me say things are heating up again, getting ready for the next Wave.
Yep, those bigger and bigger outer changes are coming, and coming soon, changes that will make the superstorms of last November, and the tragedy of the school shootings in Connecticut, on the dark side, and Barack Obama's re-election and the election of Elizabeth Warren and several other more socially conscious Democratic women to the Senate, on the positive side, look tame. In any case, those kind of remnants of the 3D shake-out are not what's most important to focus on, now.
What is important is to discover and practice how to use the new operating system that's been downloaded into our reality.
Here are some of the basics:
1. Murphy's Law is officially reversed. The old adage - "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong" (See the Pathwork Guide Lecture: "The Superstition of Pessimism") - is now re-written: "Anything that can go right will go right... if you let it."
What does that mean?
It means you can stop swimming against the current if you want. The powerful river that is the force of our Higher Selves is inevitably taking us downstream to our first best destiny. That's always been true. The 3D game, however, has been to make that ride challenging by having obstacles to overcome, adversaries to confront, resistance to our inner callings, and belief systems rooted in dualistic ideas like good and bad, right and wrong, worthy or unworthy, etc. Now, in 5D, you can easily turn around and go with the flow and let the current support your journey at a much accelerated rate, and with significantly less effort.
2. Creating your reality and its experiences from your emotions and your ego is obsolete. Creating your reality from the vibrations of your Higher Self, supported by and in collaboration with the human and universal collective, is the 5D way of living.
Whew! What does that mean?
It means, first of all, that you can get off the emotional rollercoaster ride of 3D. On that ride, in that game, if your ego deemed something to be good (for it), you experienced an emotional high and a feeling of victorious inflation in your personality; if the ego felt defeated or disappointed, you experienced depression and feelings of failure or worthlessness in your personality self. In 5th Dimensional consciousness, because you are always aware that you are connected to everyone and to All That Is, and aware that when you are creating your reality it is the energy of All That Is and your Higher Self channeling through you, you are egoless, and therefore, not prone to excessive emotionality. You are in, as it is aptly called, "The Zone." In The Zone, there is no judgment, so dualism falls away. Antiquated notions like winning and losing, success or failure, give way to just experiencing your creations in the moment with fascination, excitement and harmony.
[On a personal note, as an emotional person of Italian heritage (in my fading 3D life), I can feel the loss of this one in my ever-quieting emotional body. Those highs and lows were addictive. In fact, the attachment to those surges of emotion, the adrenaline-rushing hysteria of it all, have been the source of many other addictions in human beings. One of my favorite movie moments, speaking of an addiction to food and drama, was when "Primo," the chef in "Big Night," brother of Stanley Tucci's character, sung the praises for a particular dish made in Italy by proclaiming: "Lasagne bolognese so good you have to kill yourself!"]
3. Time isn't really real. (Thank you James Taylor and Albert Einstein!)
That's right. In 5D, events do not have to "take time" in the way we are used to, nor is time something we need to be in a "race" against. Rather, time in 5D is merely an "environment" we travel through, a climate we play in. If we desire, we can slow down or speed up time, consciously. We already did this in 3D unconsciously, experiencing "time flying" when we're doing something we enjoy, or things "taking forever" when we're impatient.
This of course effects the idea of an "aging process," as well. Instead of time being an enemy, it is merely something to use and enjoy as we see fit, and aging can be experienced as a process of refinement and growing into depths of joy and selfhood never before known to us.
4. The past is no longer prologue. In fact, the past, as such, is more or less merely a flexible representation of the present.
Huh?
See, once the emotional body has been cleared, which is what everyone in an holistic therapy/healing process has been working on lo these many years, once the feelings caused by the ideas we have carried around inside about what our childhoods and earlier life experiences were, once they have been released, we discover that the past is much more pliable as a reality than we thought. Not only does the past stop influencing our present, we can rewrite is just as if it were Act One of a screenplay we're creating. Any event, no matter how damaging we have thought it was for us in 3D, can be now seen as beneficial to who we are now. And furthermore, you can discover that who you thought you were in 3D no longer has to represent who are are now. This is truly the rebirth you have been hearing about, only without having to go through another childhood, but rather, a birth into a higher level of existence.
More on the new 5D rules to come, folks. But take a good look around and try out your new self. You've done some great clearing work to arrive to this place, and the treasures you prepared for yourself are ready to start manifesting. Say good-bye to what was, including to who you were, keep clearing if there are still some dust bunnies hanging around, and saddle up for the next quarter on the 2013 ride.
Oh, and you can still have lasagna to die for if you really want!
But here we are, well into 2013. We made it!
Disappointed? Were you hoping for a "big bang" of some sort? Does the world still look like it did in 3D to you? Well... take another look. The rules have changed. That is the first round of the shifting process. Next come the outer changes that always flow from inner changes, and many of you made big inner changes in 2012. This first quarter of the new year/new Earth was a chance to catch our collective breaths, but my sources and many people around me say things are heating up again, getting ready for the next Wave.
Yep, those bigger and bigger outer changes are coming, and coming soon, changes that will make the superstorms of last November, and the tragedy of the school shootings in Connecticut, on the dark side, and Barack Obama's re-election and the election of Elizabeth Warren and several other more socially conscious Democratic women to the Senate, on the positive side, look tame. In any case, those kind of remnants of the 3D shake-out are not what's most important to focus on, now.
What is important is to discover and practice how to use the new operating system that's been downloaded into our reality.
Here are some of the basics:
1. Murphy's Law is officially reversed. The old adage - "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong" (See the Pathwork Guide Lecture: "The Superstition of Pessimism") - is now re-written: "Anything that can go right will go right... if you let it."
What does that mean?
It means you can stop swimming against the current if you want. The powerful river that is the force of our Higher Selves is inevitably taking us downstream to our first best destiny. That's always been true. The 3D game, however, has been to make that ride challenging by having obstacles to overcome, adversaries to confront, resistance to our inner callings, and belief systems rooted in dualistic ideas like good and bad, right and wrong, worthy or unworthy, etc. Now, in 5D, you can easily turn around and go with the flow and let the current support your journey at a much accelerated rate, and with significantly less effort.
2. Creating your reality and its experiences from your emotions and your ego is obsolete. Creating your reality from the vibrations of your Higher Self, supported by and in collaboration with the human and universal collective, is the 5D way of living.
Whew! What does that mean?
It means, first of all, that you can get off the emotional rollercoaster ride of 3D. On that ride, in that game, if your ego deemed something to be good (for it), you experienced an emotional high and a feeling of victorious inflation in your personality; if the ego felt defeated or disappointed, you experienced depression and feelings of failure or worthlessness in your personality self. In 5th Dimensional consciousness, because you are always aware that you are connected to everyone and to All That Is, and aware that when you are creating your reality it is the energy of All That Is and your Higher Self channeling through you, you are egoless, and therefore, not prone to excessive emotionality. You are in, as it is aptly called, "The Zone." In The Zone, there is no judgment, so dualism falls away. Antiquated notions like winning and losing, success or failure, give way to just experiencing your creations in the moment with fascination, excitement and harmony.
[On a personal note, as an emotional person of Italian heritage (in my fading 3D life), I can feel the loss of this one in my ever-quieting emotional body. Those highs and lows were addictive. In fact, the attachment to those surges of emotion, the adrenaline-rushing hysteria of it all, have been the source of many other addictions in human beings. One of my favorite movie moments, speaking of an addiction to food and drama, was when "Primo," the chef in "Big Night," brother of Stanley Tucci's character, sung the praises for a particular dish made in Italy by proclaiming: "Lasagne bolognese so good you have to kill yourself!"]
3. Time isn't really real. (Thank you James Taylor and Albert Einstein!)
That's right. In 5D, events do not have to "take time" in the way we are used to, nor is time something we need to be in a "race" against. Rather, time in 5D is merely an "environment" we travel through, a climate we play in. If we desire, we can slow down or speed up time, consciously. We already did this in 3D unconsciously, experiencing "time flying" when we're doing something we enjoy, or things "taking forever" when we're impatient.
This of course effects the idea of an "aging process," as well. Instead of time being an enemy, it is merely something to use and enjoy as we see fit, and aging can be experienced as a process of refinement and growing into depths of joy and selfhood never before known to us.
4. The past is no longer prologue. In fact, the past, as such, is more or less merely a flexible representation of the present.
Huh?
See, once the emotional body has been cleared, which is what everyone in an holistic therapy/healing process has been working on lo these many years, once the feelings caused by the ideas we have carried around inside about what our childhoods and earlier life experiences were, once they have been released, we discover that the past is much more pliable as a reality than we thought. Not only does the past stop influencing our present, we can rewrite is just as if it were Act One of a screenplay we're creating. Any event, no matter how damaging we have thought it was for us in 3D, can be now seen as beneficial to who we are now. And furthermore, you can discover that who you thought you were in 3D no longer has to represent who are are now. This is truly the rebirth you have been hearing about, only without having to go through another childhood, but rather, a birth into a higher level of existence.
More on the new 5D rules to come, folks. But take a good look around and try out your new self. You've done some great clearing work to arrive to this place, and the treasures you prepared for yourself are ready to start manifesting. Say good-bye to what was, including to who you were, keep clearing if there are still some dust bunnies hanging around, and saddle up for the next quarter on the 2013 ride.
Oh, and you can still have lasagna to die for if you really want!
REPOST: BEYOND THERAPY!
One of my favorite books ever written by a psychotherapist is called: "Is There Life After Analysis?" by Alma Bond, Ph. D.
Here's what Dr. Bond had to say about what makes for a successful course of therapy:
“...the ability to understand oneself, to love, to hate, to work, to mourn, to allow oneself pleasure when appropriate, to maintain a relatively stable mood, to know who one is and be comfortable with it, to see oneself and the world realistically, to be independent of one's parents or one's therapist, to remain emotionally and physically healthy in the face of anxiety and the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’, and to take over the role of the therapist when the treatment is over. In a manner of speaking, the primary motive of psychotherapy is to make the therapist obsolete.”
Yes! I have frequently said that if I am doing my job as a therapist correctly, I am continually putting myself out of business! [I refer you to my Stages of Healing piece for my take on the final stages of therapy even after you've stopped seeing a therapist.]
Now, notice that Alma doesn't say that one has to be issue-free to be done with therapy, but rather that one has to be able to honestly see oneself and be able to treat/confront the issues when they show themselves.
Here's more from Dr. Bond on what takes the place of analysis after it is completed:
“The definitive answer to the question of what takes place after therapy can only be answered by the character of the individual patient. Every patient who ends therapy will do something different with his life. My first result was that I became my own therapist. I began to work on my dreams in earnest. I also had more time and energy to throw myself into my career. In two years, I doubled my therapy practice, then went onto writing. Now, in present time, in this new era of my life, the force of energy I once devoted to therapy, and before that to being neurotic, is now focused on my writing career. I feel it is fueled by exactly the same source of power. We only have so much of it; if it is going into conflict, it is unavailable for work. Some will spend this energy enriching their family life, others in deepening their knowledge of the interest of their choice. Some may change their careers altogether. Still others may buy themselves the time and leisure to travel...”
How great, huh? To have all that energy back? Energy that was first locked up in our neurotic defenses and character structures, and then the energy that had to be devoted to the hard excavation and demolition work of those structures in therapy. That's a lot of energy! Having all of that back can do wonders for fulfilling oneself sexually and in love, in health and in our chosen paths to creativity and generativity. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! So, come on people, put me out of business already!
I just want to add a note about meditation here. Many people I know who are following some kind of spiritual path end up feeling very frustrated. They've read The Course in Miracles or Conversations With God or watched The Secret a hundred times and they just seem unable to make use of the Laws of Attraction. Well, here's the thing - all of the promises contained in those and many other spiritual teachings are real. We are meant to attain the fulfillment of our deepest desires, and we do create and/or attract our own reality. And meditation does "work." In fact, there's a cute little piece from the Huffington Post, called "How Meditation Makes You Nicer."
BUT... and it's a big but... you are always going to create and attract from your unconscious and subconscious first, so if there is a lot of conflict and negativity in there, you're going to find a lot of crap coming into your life before any good stuff does. You can't wallpaper over the unresolved issues, even with a valid meditation practice. You might achieve some level of "niceness" and glimpses of peacefulness, but it won't last. That's where the hard work of therapy comes in. I wish there was another way, but there aren't any end runs around this, and there arean't any magic pills! However, after therapy, watch what happens when you meditate for real. It's easy. All you need is love.
P.S. Last I heard, Alma Bond was alive and well and writing in the Florida Keys.
I'm coming, Alma!
Here's what Dr. Bond had to say about what makes for a successful course of therapy:
“...the ability to understand oneself, to love, to hate, to work, to mourn, to allow oneself pleasure when appropriate, to maintain a relatively stable mood, to know who one is and be comfortable with it, to see oneself and the world realistically, to be independent of one's parents or one's therapist, to remain emotionally and physically healthy in the face of anxiety and the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’, and to take over the role of the therapist when the treatment is over. In a manner of speaking, the primary motive of psychotherapy is to make the therapist obsolete.”
Yes! I have frequently said that if I am doing my job as a therapist correctly, I am continually putting myself out of business! [I refer you to my Stages of Healing piece for my take on the final stages of therapy even after you've stopped seeing a therapist.]
Now, notice that Alma doesn't say that one has to be issue-free to be done with therapy, but rather that one has to be able to honestly see oneself and be able to treat/confront the issues when they show themselves.
Here's more from Dr. Bond on what takes the place of analysis after it is completed:
“The definitive answer to the question of what takes place after therapy can only be answered by the character of the individual patient. Every patient who ends therapy will do something different with his life. My first result was that I became my own therapist. I began to work on my dreams in earnest. I also had more time and energy to throw myself into my career. In two years, I doubled my therapy practice, then went onto writing. Now, in present time, in this new era of my life, the force of energy I once devoted to therapy, and before that to being neurotic, is now focused on my writing career. I feel it is fueled by exactly the same source of power. We only have so much of it; if it is going into conflict, it is unavailable for work. Some will spend this energy enriching their family life, others in deepening their knowledge of the interest of their choice. Some may change their careers altogether. Still others may buy themselves the time and leisure to travel...”
How great, huh? To have all that energy back? Energy that was first locked up in our neurotic defenses and character structures, and then the energy that had to be devoted to the hard excavation and demolition work of those structures in therapy. That's a lot of energy! Having all of that back can do wonders for fulfilling oneself sexually and in love, in health and in our chosen paths to creativity and generativity. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! So, come on people, put me out of business already!
I just want to add a note about meditation here. Many people I know who are following some kind of spiritual path end up feeling very frustrated. They've read The Course in Miracles or Conversations With God or watched The Secret a hundred times and they just seem unable to make use of the Laws of Attraction. Well, here's the thing - all of the promises contained in those and many other spiritual teachings are real. We are meant to attain the fulfillment of our deepest desires, and we do create and/or attract our own reality. And meditation does "work." In fact, there's a cute little piece from the Huffington Post, called "How Meditation Makes You Nicer."
BUT... and it's a big but... you are always going to create and attract from your unconscious and subconscious first, so if there is a lot of conflict and negativity in there, you're going to find a lot of crap coming into your life before any good stuff does. You can't wallpaper over the unresolved issues, even with a valid meditation practice. You might achieve some level of "niceness" and glimpses of peacefulness, but it won't last. That's where the hard work of therapy comes in. I wish there was another way, but there aren't any end runs around this, and there arean't any magic pills! However, after therapy, watch what happens when you meditate for real. It's easy. All you need is love.
P.S. Last I heard, Alma Bond was alive and well and writing in the Florida Keys.I'm coming, Alma!
TODAY'S QUOTE!
Understand that nothing bad can happen unless you define it as bad, and no course you’re on is irrevocable; this is simply a moment for you to experience and embrace change. You’re a caterpillar that has become a butterfly, and you’re out of the cocoon now for the first time, but you haven’t yet tried your wings, so you’re not sure that you can fly. But you have those wings for a reason. You can fly.
And by the way, don’t focus on meeting anyone else’s expectations of you. They’re not real and they’re not actual demands on you.
(From a behind the scenes step-father)
And by the way, don’t focus on meeting anyone else’s expectations of you. They’re not real and they’re not actual demands on you.
(From a behind the scenes step-father)
CITY ROCK'S 4TH VIDEO: "The Heat Wave!"
This is more like a short than a trailer, and it presents the two main female leads in the City Rock series, Jennie, Frank Cello's erstwhile girlfriend, and Mindy, his enchanting neighbor who lives on the same floor of his apartment building. The short also shows us a bit more of the personal relationship Frank has with the ghost of "City Rock," a young man who died on Frank's watch, and now serves as his tormenting advisor.
Enjoy the video (Click the lower right button to watch full screen) and totally enjoy the musical renditions by sycicWALRUS!
Enjoy the video (Click the lower right button to watch full screen) and totally enjoy the musical renditions by sycicWALRUS!
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