"There is no enlightenment outside of daily life."
Thic Nhat Hanh
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily; and why older persons, especially if vain or important, cannot learn at all."
Thomas Szasz
Thomas Szasz
TODAY'S REJECTIONS YOU GOTTA LOVE QUOTE!
"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper."
Gary Cooper (on his decision to reject the leading role in "Gone With The Wind")
Gary Cooper (on his decision to reject the leading role in "Gone With The Wind")
TODAY'S REJECTIONS YOU GOTTA LOVE QUOTE!
"Who the hell wants to copy a document on plain paper?!"
(1940 Rejection Letter to Chester Carlson, inventor of the XEROX machine. In fact, over 20 companies rejected his "useless" idea between 1939 and 1944. Even the National Inventors Council dismissed it. Today, the Xerox Corporation has an annual revenue in the range of one billion dollars.)
(1940 Rejection Letter to Chester Carlson, inventor of the XEROX machine. In fact, over 20 companies rejected his "useless" idea between 1939 and 1944. Even the National Inventors Council dismissed it. Today, the Xerox Corporation has an annual revenue in the range of one billion dollars.)
IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN? NOT!
THIS is a beauty to go along with the other two posts I put up recently on the placebo effect and Prince the dog.
Chase Britton was born prematurely and doctors were prepared to diagnose him with cerebral palsy. When they tested him, they said he had the MRI results "of a vegetable." No kidding. They said it. Why? Because Chase had no cerebellum, the part of the brain that controls motor skills, balance and emotions!
But Chase is no veggie, folks. He eventually managed to sit up on his own, something he shouldn't have been able to do without a cerebellum to provide balance. Next he learned to crawl, first dragging himself military-style, then pushing himself upright. Now, he's learning to walk.
"He keeps going," his mom said. "He keeps picking up new things and progressing. We call it, 'Chase pace.'"
In the fall, Chase started going to a specialized preschool near his New York home three days a week.
"I'm in awe of him every day," Sharon Schultz, his teacher at CHC Learning Center in Williamsville, N.Y., told WGRZ.
"Things that, based on that diagnosis, he should not be able to do, he is doing. I mean, walking up and down the hall, riding a bike, holding a pencil or a pen to work on projects, using scissors."
Chase also loves to play on his Ipad with doting brother Alex.
"The doctors didn't know what to say to us," Chase's mother said in a telephone interview. "No one had ever seen it before. And then we'd go to the neurologists and they'd say, 'That's impossible.' 'He has the MRI of a vegetable,' one of the doctors said to us."
Chase has left doctors bewildered and experts rethinking what they thought they knew about the human brain.
LOL! You gotta love the experts!!
You think the doctors might want to consider that the mind is actually not located in the brain?
Chase Britton was born prematurely and doctors were prepared to diagnose him with cerebral palsy. When they tested him, they said he had the MRI results "of a vegetable." No kidding. They said it. Why? Because Chase had no cerebellum, the part of the brain that controls motor skills, balance and emotions!
But Chase is no veggie, folks. He eventually managed to sit up on his own, something he shouldn't have been able to do without a cerebellum to provide balance. Next he learned to crawl, first dragging himself military-style, then pushing himself upright. Now, he's learning to walk.
"He keeps going," his mom said. "He keeps picking up new things and progressing. We call it, 'Chase pace.'"
In the fall, Chase started going to a specialized preschool near his New York home three days a week.
"I'm in awe of him every day," Sharon Schultz, his teacher at CHC Learning Center in Williamsville, N.Y., told WGRZ.
"Things that, based on that diagnosis, he should not be able to do, he is doing. I mean, walking up and down the hall, riding a bike, holding a pencil or a pen to work on projects, using scissors."
Chase also loves to play on his Ipad with doting brother Alex.
"The doctors didn't know what to say to us," Chase's mother said in a telephone interview. "No one had ever seen it before. And then we'd go to the neurologists and they'd say, 'That's impossible.' 'He has the MRI of a vegetable,' one of the doctors said to us."
Chase has left doctors bewildered and experts rethinking what they thought they knew about the human brain.
LOL! You gotta love the experts!!
You think the doctors might want to consider that the mind is actually not located in the brain?
TODAY'S REJECTIONS YOU GOTTA LOVE QUOTE!
"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"
Steve Jobs, Apple Computer founder, on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
Steve Jobs, Apple Computer founder, on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
MAD HOUSEWIVES/KILLER MOMS!
THIS was in the New York Times today, an open confessions of a self-described "mad housewife" who has been violent with her children. It is very honest and courageous, and I applaud KATHERINE ELLISON who revealed herself in this way.
Here's Katherine saying something shocking but true that really needs to be said:
"The mad housewife is a reliable comic icon, her trials trivialized as boredom and cabin fever. It’s hard for most people to accept that mothers — even maybe their own mothers! — can be unloving, and sometimes unsafe."
Right. Being a parent, in no way, shape or form, guarantees that a child will be receiving love. My readers know that I have written and spoken a great deal about the terribly dysfunctional state of marriage and childrearing in our society. I am also going to talk about it on video soon. During this past week, we have been filming a promotional video for our upcoming debut of the FULL PERMISSION LIVING SHOW, which will be a regular web television program on the soon-to-be launched CITY ROCK NETWORK.
Here's an excerpt from one of the episodes of the FPL Show:
"Parenting, as we know it, folks, is not only dysfunctional, it is impossible! In the soon-to be-extinct nuclear family model (just follow the statistical trends), two people (usually young) are expected to undertake the most incredibly taxing job on earth, twenty-four-seven, for two decades, with no qualifications! That's right. Parents, of all available adults, are usually the least qualified to raise children. You need to pass two tests to get a license to drive a car or sell real estate. It's required to have a college degree or some period of focused training for most careers. Yet, to have children, one of the most important and difficult occupations in our society, all you have to do is (excuse me) fuck somebody!"
Stay tuned for more, and once again, thank you, Katherine Ellison, for speaking the truth.
Here's Katherine saying something shocking but true that really needs to be said:
"The mad housewife is a reliable comic icon, her trials trivialized as boredom and cabin fever. It’s hard for most people to accept that mothers — even maybe their own mothers! — can be unloving, and sometimes unsafe."
Right. Being a parent, in no way, shape or form, guarantees that a child will be receiving love. My readers know that I have written and spoken a great deal about the terribly dysfunctional state of marriage and childrearing in our society. I am also going to talk about it on video soon. During this past week, we have been filming a promotional video for our upcoming debut of the FULL PERMISSION LIVING SHOW, which will be a regular web television program on the soon-to-be launched CITY ROCK NETWORK.
Here's an excerpt from one of the episodes of the FPL Show:
"Parenting, as we know it, folks, is not only dysfunctional, it is impossible! In the soon-to be-extinct nuclear family model (just follow the statistical trends), two people (usually young) are expected to undertake the most incredibly taxing job on earth, twenty-four-seven, for two decades, with no qualifications! That's right. Parents, of all available adults, are usually the least qualified to raise children. You need to pass two tests to get a license to drive a car or sell real estate. It's required to have a college degree or some period of focused training for most careers. Yet, to have children, one of the most important and difficult occupations in our society, all you have to do is (excuse me) fuck somebody!"
Stay tuned for more, and once again, thank you, Katherine Ellison, for speaking the truth.
"The Myth of Joyful Parenthood: The Ultimate Cognitive Dissonance?"
Worthy reading by one Wray Herbert HERE.
Here's an excerpt:
"Raising children is hard, and any parent who says differently is lying. Parenting is emotionally and intellectually draining, and it often requires professional sacrifice and serious financial hardship. Kids are needy and demanding from the moment of their birth to... well, forever. Don't get me wrong. I love my children dearly, and can't imagine my life without them. But let's face the facts: Study after study has shown that parents, compared to adults without kids, experience lower emotional well-being -- fewer positive feelings and more negative ones -- and have unhappier marriages and suffer more from depression."
This needs to be explored and talked about people. Let's talk!
Here's an excerpt:
"Raising children is hard, and any parent who says differently is lying. Parenting is emotionally and intellectually draining, and it often requires professional sacrifice and serious financial hardship. Kids are needy and demanding from the moment of their birth to... well, forever. Don't get me wrong. I love my children dearly, and can't imagine my life without them. But let's face the facts: Study after study has shown that parents, compared to adults without kids, experience lower emotional well-being -- fewer positive feelings and more negative ones -- and have unhappier marriages and suffer more from depression."
This needs to be explored and talked about people. Let's talk!
THIS DOG STORY SHOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING!
Okay, now check this out. This is a true story. It was in the Huffington Post today. The headline: "Prince The Dog Returns Home After 5 Years, Finds Owner Myrna Carillo's New House!"
Here's an excerpt from the news item:
"If you move four times in five years, it's hard enough for the mail to find you, let alone a dog. But that's just what one smart Shih Tzu did this past week. According to NBC News, Myrna Carillo lost her beloved dog Prince over five years ago in California. Since then, she has married, had two boys... and moved four times. And yet, somehow Prince showed up on her doorstep last week. Myrna immediately recognized the furry dog, and more impressively, the dog recognized her. Prince is already bonding with Myrna's sons, and is reacquainting himself with his rediscovered family.
This isn't the first pet miracle. Last year, a cat returned home after going missing during Hurricane Katrina five years ago. And an Australian dog returned home after a nine year disappearance. As for Prince -- while his house may have changed four times in his absence, there seems to be no place like home."
This story demonstrates perfectly that there is a collective consciousness that transcends space and time and our five physical senses, that we all really are connected in ways we normally don't see. If you really think about it, a story like this should be major news, and should change everything. Instead, it's just a "cute" story hidden in the back pages, if it's even reported at all. "Coincidence." "A mystery." "Whatever." "Can't explain it."
Oh well, what's for dinner, Prince?
Here's an excerpt from the news item:
"If you move four times in five years, it's hard enough for the mail to find you, let alone a dog. But that's just what one smart Shih Tzu did this past week. According to NBC News, Myrna Carillo lost her beloved dog Prince over five years ago in California. Since then, she has married, had two boys... and moved four times. And yet, somehow Prince showed up on her doorstep last week. Myrna immediately recognized the furry dog, and more impressively, the dog recognized her. Prince is already bonding with Myrna's sons, and is reacquainting himself with his rediscovered family.
This isn't the first pet miracle. Last year, a cat returned home after going missing during Hurricane Katrina five years ago. And an Australian dog returned home after a nine year disappearance. As for Prince -- while his house may have changed four times in his absence, there seems to be no place like home."
This story demonstrates perfectly that there is a collective consciousness that transcends space and time and our five physical senses, that we all really are connected in ways we normally don't see. If you really think about it, a story like this should be major news, and should change everything. Instead, it's just a "cute" story hidden in the back pages, if it's even reported at all. "Coincidence." "A mystery." "Whatever." "Can't explain it."
Oh well, what's for dinner, Prince?
SUPERBOWL FEMINIZING MEN? OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND?!
Well, this is fun! A piece in the DAILY BEAST, entitled "The Superbowl May Harm Your Masculinity," caught my interest this morning. Turns out, though, that the article was about how excessive carbohydrates, of the kind ingested in mammoth proportions by many men during football games, cause testosterone levels to drop.
Here's an excerpt:
"As you stock up on pizza, nachos, chips, soda, and beer for your Super Bowl feast, here’s something you might want to consider: Those foods are feminizing men. Not exactly the way you meant to celebrate our annual tribute to red-blooded American masculinity, is it? But undeniably true. Many of the unhealthy things we eat today have been found to cause a drop in sperm count and testosterone, the essential male hormone. If you routinely eat sweets, or carbs such as bread, pasta, baked goods—which your body turns into a form of sugar—you are continuously hammering your ability to produce testosterone."
Okay, that's a fascinating but basically 3-dimensional cause and effect linear formula: a lot of carbs/sugar lowers testosterone, which leads to various physical problems related to the production of that hormone.
So, let's offer a 4th dimensional look at the situation, one that isn't as linear and includes the intentionality of the nacho-chomping, beer-guzzling pig skin aficionado.
For example, what if the guy watching the majorly macho gladiatorial game known as football is doing so with such extreme gusto, and gustatory bingeing, because he is compensating for his own latent feminine feelings, feelings that cause him a great deal of subconscious anxiety? In other words, maybe that big guy with the big bowl of chicken wings and blue cheese dip is reassuring himself that he's a manly man by watching 300+ pound behemoths give each other concussions. Yet, by virtue of the gorging, he is emasculating himself hormonally while consciously fantasizing about extreme masculinity. (I'm sure that a statistical study of the incidence of men having sex with their girlfriends or wives on Superbowl Sunday evening would show a dramatic drop-off of marital coitus.)
Personally, I like to watch the Superbowl, even though I don't really watch football for most of the season. I like the drama of high-level sports contests at times, and the Superbowl can be quite a spectacle in that regard. (True confession, though - I TiVo the game, so I can fast forward through the commercials and some of the navel gazing. And I won't be having any nachos or beer. Maybe some organic popcorn and a Manhattan, but only one, especially because I may still want to be able to...
Here's an excerpt:
"As you stock up on pizza, nachos, chips, soda, and beer for your Super Bowl feast, here’s something you might want to consider: Those foods are feminizing men. Not exactly the way you meant to celebrate our annual tribute to red-blooded American masculinity, is it? But undeniably true. Many of the unhealthy things we eat today have been found to cause a drop in sperm count and testosterone, the essential male hormone. If you routinely eat sweets, or carbs such as bread, pasta, baked goods—which your body turns into a form of sugar—you are continuously hammering your ability to produce testosterone."
Okay, that's a fascinating but basically 3-dimensional cause and effect linear formula: a lot of carbs/sugar lowers testosterone, which leads to various physical problems related to the production of that hormone.
So, let's offer a 4th dimensional look at the situation, one that isn't as linear and includes the intentionality of the nacho-chomping, beer-guzzling pig skin aficionado.
For example, what if the guy watching the majorly macho gladiatorial game known as football is doing so with such extreme gusto, and gustatory bingeing, because he is compensating for his own latent feminine feelings, feelings that cause him a great deal of subconscious anxiety? In other words, maybe that big guy with the big bowl of chicken wings and blue cheese dip is reassuring himself that he's a manly man by watching 300+ pound behemoths give each other concussions. Yet, by virtue of the gorging, he is emasculating himself hormonally while consciously fantasizing about extreme masculinity. (I'm sure that a statistical study of the incidence of men having sex with their girlfriends or wives on Superbowl Sunday evening would show a dramatic drop-off of marital coitus.)
Personally, I like to watch the Superbowl, even though I don't really watch football for most of the season. I like the drama of high-level sports contests at times, and the Superbowl can be quite a spectacle in that regard. (True confession, though - I TiVo the game, so I can fast forward through the commercials and some of the navel gazing. And I won't be having any nachos or beer. Maybe some organic popcorn and a Manhattan, but only one, especially because I may still want to be able to...
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"Study after study has shown that parents, compared to adults without kids, experience lower emotional well-being -- fewer positive feelings and more negative ones -- and have unhappier marriages and suffer more from depression."
Wray Herbert
Wray Herbert
Repost: "Faith versus Logic: Spock's Rebirth!"
This is an oldie but goodie, first posted in 2008.
Interesting little piece by Stacey Lawson called "What is faith?" on the Huffington Post. What I like about the brief article is that she doesn't equate faith with religion. Rather, she addresses the apparent conflict between faith and "rational" thinking.
Lawson:
"Faith seems not quite natural to the modern mind. Mind is rational while faith is irrational. Mind is logical; faith illogical. Mind is doubtful while faith is doubt-free. We are more committed to the calculations of the rational mind, than to the holistic wisdom of spirit. When we put more stock in the workings of our rational mind than on discerning a deeper truth beyond the intellect, faith seems relegated to a precariously irrelevant position."
I agree, Stacey. But what exactly is faith? Wishful thinking? Hopefulness? Belief? No, faith is the precursor to knowing, and knowing comes not from the mind, but from the body and from our feelings. The more connected we are emotionally, the more those inklings of faith turn into knowing.
A while back, I posted an excerpt from a class I taught on "gut feelings," in which I talked about how our "second brain," located in our solar plexus, is where our best and most certain decisions are made from (http://fullpermissionliving.blogspot.com/2008/01/gut-feelings.html). When we "feel" the rightness of a choice, we don't second guess ourselves, but when we "think" our way to a decision, the potential pros and cons can consume us for great lengths of time without ever leading to a feeling of certainty.
Here's Stacey Lawson again:
"Faith is the decision to step out of ego and deny its claim on a finite reality. Faith is about possibility. It is utter positivity. An unknown sage once said, 'God does not ask about our ability, but our availability.' Are we available to believe in something higher than our own ego-mind? Are we available to trust in a pervading wisdom that can know and do everything? Are we available to suspend doubt and disbelief and live in utter positivity? I leave you with these questions of faith."
I'll leave you with a quote from "Mr. Spock," in one of the later "Star Trek" movies, "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country." By this time in the saga, Mr. Spock, who was the ultimate exalter of logic throughout the early years of the series, had experienced life and death and rebirth, and he had also discovered the value of feelings. When a young Vulcan he is mentoring criticizes some behavior as "illogical," Spock scolds her by saying: "Logic, logic and more logic! Logic is only the BEGINNING of wisdom, not the end!"
Yeah! Live long and prosper!
Interesting little piece by Stacey Lawson called "What is faith?" on the Huffington Post. What I like about the brief article is that she doesn't equate faith with religion. Rather, she addresses the apparent conflict between faith and "rational" thinking.
Lawson:
"Faith seems not quite natural to the modern mind. Mind is rational while faith is irrational. Mind is logical; faith illogical. Mind is doubtful while faith is doubt-free. We are more committed to the calculations of the rational mind, than to the holistic wisdom of spirit. When we put more stock in the workings of our rational mind than on discerning a deeper truth beyond the intellect, faith seems relegated to a precariously irrelevant position."
I agree, Stacey. But what exactly is faith? Wishful thinking? Hopefulness? Belief? No, faith is the precursor to knowing, and knowing comes not from the mind, but from the body and from our feelings. The more connected we are emotionally, the more those inklings of faith turn into knowing.
A while back, I posted an excerpt from a class I taught on "gut feelings," in which I talked about how our "second brain," located in our solar plexus, is where our best and most certain decisions are made from (http://fullpermissionliving.blogspot.com/2008/01/gut-feelings.html). When we "feel" the rightness of a choice, we don't second guess ourselves, but when we "think" our way to a decision, the potential pros and cons can consume us for great lengths of time without ever leading to a feeling of certainty.
Here's Stacey Lawson again:
"Faith is the decision to step out of ego and deny its claim on a finite reality. Faith is about possibility. It is utter positivity. An unknown sage once said, 'God does not ask about our ability, but our availability.' Are we available to believe in something higher than our own ego-mind? Are we available to trust in a pervading wisdom that can know and do everything? Are we available to suspend doubt and disbelief and live in utter positivity? I leave you with these questions of faith."
I'll leave you with a quote from "Mr. Spock," in one of the later "Star Trek" movies, "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country." By this time in the saga, Mr. Spock, who was the ultimate exalter of logic throughout the early years of the series, had experienced life and death and rebirth, and he had also discovered the value of feelings. When a young Vulcan he is mentoring criticizes some behavior as "illogical," Spock scolds her by saying: "Logic, logic and more logic! Logic is only the BEGINNING of wisdom, not the end!"
Yeah! Live long and prosper!
Repost: "Jump the Fear Shark!"
Fear. It is perhaps the most crippling of all the so-called "negative" human emotions. Why? Well, first of all, ninety-nine percent of our fears are irrational. Right. That's a lot of crazy time. Nonetheless, it's true that most of our fears are a reaction not to any actual danger in the moment, but to possible dangers in a vague possible future. As a result, our ability to react flexibly to normal life situations in the present is greatly inhibited by irrational fears. They sap our energy levels and create tunnel vision, literally and figuratively. In addition, since the human psyche is always trying to self-correct, cleanse and heal itself of negative emotions caused by negative thoughts, we will end up attracting events that seem to meet the criteria of our worst fears in order to work them through.
Here's the Pathwork Guide, channeled by Eva Broch, saying it quite eloquently:
"As long as you have fear, it is sometimes inevitable that you experience what you fear in order to lose the fear. If fear can be shed by realizing the truth that there is no reason to fear, then it is not necessary to experience it. But you are often incapable of this insight, so you must familiarize yourself with the feared circumstances until they lose their threatening aspect."
Yes. This is one of the driving forces behind the "repetition compulsions" so many suffer from, those patterns of going through the same painful situations or relationships over and over. What the Guide is saying above is that part of the "goal" of the repetitions is to neutralize the fear of the situation being repeated. (That reminds me that in the 1970's, I had to watch "Jaws" about a dozen times before I was finally convinced that Roy Scheider actually killed that damn fish! And then, to top it off, that same summer, I finally got back in the water on an East Hampton beach to test myself in the ocean. True story. Yep. Refreshed and confident from a round of body surfing, I swam ashore to find... a dead shark on the beach!! YOW!!!)
There's more. If your motivations for the good things of life that you desire are covertly or overtly fear-based, you will again be thwarting yourself.
The Guide:
"As long as you want the positive mainly because you fear the negative, your fear barricades the way to the positive. If you want happiness because you fear unhappiness, happiness remains unreachable. If you want happiness for its own sake, and not because you fear its absence, nothing will block its attainment. And this is an enormous difference.
"Every aspect of living follows this principle. If you desire health in a spirit of fearing sickness, you prevent health. If you fear the aging process, you prevent eternal youth. If you fear poverty, you prevent abundance. If you fear loneliness, you prevent real companionship. If you fear companionship, you prevent self-containment. So it goes on and on."
This is why "positive affirmations" and other meditations meant to bring abundance don't work for so many people. (It was also kind of left out of "The Secret" DVD and book that so many millions latched onto. The producers sort of neglected to mention that in order to use the Laws of Attraction positively, you first have to surface and clear out the negative beliefs and intentions hidden below the surface of consciousness.)
The Guide again:
"The great enemy is fear, and the best way to meet and conquer this enemy is first to ascertain, admit, and articulate it."
In other words, folks, don't have fear of your fears. See them, embrace them, then challenge their validity, and finally exhale them out of your life and make room for abundance.
Then, you can jump the shark, too.
Here's the Pathwork Guide, channeled by Eva Broch, saying it quite eloquently:
"As long as you have fear, it is sometimes inevitable that you experience what you fear in order to lose the fear. If fear can be shed by realizing the truth that there is no reason to fear, then it is not necessary to experience it. But you are often incapable of this insight, so you must familiarize yourself with the feared circumstances until they lose their threatening aspect."
Yes. This is one of the driving forces behind the "repetition compulsions" so many suffer from, those patterns of going through the same painful situations or relationships over and over. What the Guide is saying above is that part of the "goal" of the repetitions is to neutralize the fear of the situation being repeated. (That reminds me that in the 1970's, I had to watch "Jaws" about a dozen times before I was finally convinced that Roy Scheider actually killed that damn fish! And then, to top it off, that same summer, I finally got back in the water on an East Hampton beach to test myself in the ocean. True story. Yep. Refreshed and confident from a round of body surfing, I swam ashore to find... a dead shark on the beach!! YOW!!!)
There's more. If your motivations for the good things of life that you desire are covertly or overtly fear-based, you will again be thwarting yourself.
The Guide:
"As long as you want the positive mainly because you fear the negative, your fear barricades the way to the positive. If you want happiness because you fear unhappiness, happiness remains unreachable. If you want happiness for its own sake, and not because you fear its absence, nothing will block its attainment. And this is an enormous difference.
"Every aspect of living follows this principle. If you desire health in a spirit of fearing sickness, you prevent health. If you fear the aging process, you prevent eternal youth. If you fear poverty, you prevent abundance. If you fear loneliness, you prevent real companionship. If you fear companionship, you prevent self-containment. So it goes on and on."
This is why "positive affirmations" and other meditations meant to bring abundance don't work for so many people. (It was also kind of left out of "The Secret" DVD and book that so many millions latched onto. The producers sort of neglected to mention that in order to use the Laws of Attraction positively, you first have to surface and clear out the negative beliefs and intentions hidden below the surface of consciousness.)
The Guide again:
"The great enemy is fear, and the best way to meet and conquer this enemy is first to ascertain, admit, and articulate it."
In other words, folks, don't have fear of your fears. See them, embrace them, then challenge their validity, and finally exhale them out of your life and make room for abundance.
Then, you can jump the shark, too.
HE'S HISTORY, YOU'RE NOT?!
I left a comment today on an article on the Huffington Post entitled: "Why Forgiveness is Overrated." The piece, by Erica Manfred, author of "He's History, You're Not: Surviving Divorce After Forty," is... well... as 3D as the title of that book suggests. Anyway, here's my comment to Erica:
"Forgiveness isn't an action you can take; it is a place you can arrive to. The action you can take, however, is that of owning your own responsibility when a relationship ends 'badly,' including owning your responsibility for entering into or staying in a relationship that is destructive and/or abusive. It's casting yourself as a victim that prevents healing. Taking responsibility may or may not lead to some kind of forgiveness, but either way, it can't be faked. Neither can healing."
"Forgiveness isn't an action you can take; it is a place you can arrive to. The action you can take, however, is that of owning your own responsibility when a relationship ends 'badly,' including owning your responsibility for entering into or staying in a relationship that is destructive and/or abusive. It's casting yourself as a victim that prevents healing. Taking responsibility may or may not lead to some kind of forgiveness, but either way, it can't be faked. Neither can healing."
FIND YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE!
Here's more from my class on The Self that I've been posting from. This segment is on "personality types," as outlined by a variety of brilliant, wise or channelling teachers.
See if you can see yourself.
PERSONALITY TYPES
Jung -Two basic attitudes: introversion and extroversion, and four mental functions: thinking, feeling, sensing, intuiting.
The introverted attitude is interested in exploring and analyzing one’s own internal world. This person is introspective, preoccupied with internal affairs, and may be withdrawn or aloof, unsocial and reserved.
The extroverted attitude is preoccupied by one’s interactions with people and things and appears to be more active and outgoing, taking an interest in what’s around him or her.
The thinking function consists of connecting ideas with each other in order to arrive at a general concept or a solution to a problem. It is an intellectual function that seeks to understand things.
The feeling function is an evaluative one that either accepts or rejects an idea on the basis of whether the idea arouses a pleasant or unpleasant feeling.
Sensation is perception produced by experiences that stimulate the sense organs - sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touch, as well as sensations that originate inside the body.
Intuition is similar to sensation, but differs in that one does not know from where the intuition came or originated. (“I just know.”)
Eight types of individuals: introvert-thinking, introvert-feeling, introvert-sensate, introvert-intuitive, extrovert-thinking, extrovert-feeling, extrovert-sensate, extrovert-intuitive.
Introvert-thinking type seeks to understand his inner being, thinking directed inwardly, the philosopher or existential psychologist; tends to want to be left alone with his or her own thoughts, not concerned about others accepting his or her ideas; also suppresses feelings and may become unapproachable and standoffish, or in extreme cases, out of touch with reality altogether.
Extrovert-thinking type devotes energy to learning as much as possible about the objective, external world, understanding and discovering laws, developing theories; the scientist; tends to repress the feeling side and may become autocratic, vain and impervious to criticism.
Introvert-feeling type has strong, intense feelings buts keeps them hidden from the outside world; may have a mysterious charismatic charm and be quite profound; inclined towards melancholy and depression, silence, and occasionally may erupt in an emotional storm.
Extrovert-feeling type goes with the flow of the moment, wherever feelings lead; subordinates thinking to feelings; may be inclined to be gushy, erratic and moody and form intense attachments and then break them off suddenly.
Introvert-sensate type is immersed in the experience of internal sensations and finds the external world uninteresting; may be inclined to have difficulty expressing himself except through art, but productions are devoid of meaningfulness of thought or feeling.
Extrovert-sensate type lives for the sensations that can be derived from life, sensual, pleasure-seeking, thrill-seeking, but without meaning or reflection; can be given to addictions and compulsions, and can become crude sensualists.
Introvert-intuitive type can have brilliant insights and inspirations, but others must follow up on developing them for this type can’t really develop the intuitions; the dreamer, visionary, prophet, often regarded as an enigma, a misunderstood genius that cannot communicate effectively.
Extrovert-intuitive type discovers and initiates new possibilities in the outer world and can be great promoters, though again, without the capacity for follow-up; can be easily bored, unreliable and unwittingly hurtful, while frittering away their potentials.
Broch (“Guide”) - Three basic types of human personality, predominantly governed by either reason, emotion or will.
Reason-predominant types conduct life mainly through the reasoning process and use the will in the service of the intellect in a premeditative way, through deduction, figuring, calculating, and assessing, not by using their emotional and intuitive nature. They can be quite planful and efficient and logical. People who predominantly come from reason tend to neglect the emotions, are afraid of them, thwart them, cripple them. They are afraid of losing control. Therefore, they don’t have much access to their intuition; they don’t have much real pleasure in life; they secretly look upon the emotional types as inferior, but they are afraid of them. They are proud to be so steeped in the reasoning process.
Emotion-predominant types mainly relate to life from their emotions and pride themselves on their capacity to feel. They can be quite intuitive. These types use the will chaotically and on impulse or in the despair of the moment. They secretly looks down on intellectuals. The emotional types can completely lose sight of reason. There can be an absence of responsible, conscious planning and deliberation. This person is afraid that by curbing his nature he might miss something valuable in life. If the emotional types were balanced enough to use the reasoning capacities more, they would have access to more wisdom, which is love plus the reason.
Will-predominant types are action-oriented, doers whose focus is on achievement. The will is supposed to be the servant of reason and emotion, but in these types the will is the master. These people look down on reasoning capacity and see people of that type as in their head and they despise the emotional types as out of control and weak, seeing both of these other types as not achieving anything. Only they are the achievers. They have a tendency to be impatient, to lose sight of caution, and it is difficult for them to gain real truth because they neglect the rational and emotional sides
.
Gomez - Reich’s Three Cosmic Pulsatory Movements: expansion, contraction, rest.
Expansion in its harmonious form is movement as creativity, growth and building, forward movement, outgoingness, unselfishness, searching for union with anything outside of the self, for the other, the other you. In the negative, expansion manifests as aggression, hostility, quarreling, destructiveness, cruelty, impatience, ultimately in some cases, war.
Contraction in its positive form is assimilation, balance, introspection, inward movement, caution, patience, thoughtfulness, self search. In the negative it manifests as regressive, backward movement, resisting progress, selfishness, egocentricity, avarice, separateness.
Rest in its positive aspect is healthy passivity, preservation, a state of beingness, timelessness, gathering momentum for a new growth cycle. It is needed for fruition to take place. In the negative, it is stagnation, lifelessness, inertia.
Each human being is predominantly motivated by one of these pulsatory movements, but all three are present in everyone and ideally blend harmoniously. (If you just keep expanding, for example, if expansion didn’t work together with contraction, it would become destructive and you would lose grounding. People with tremendous will who force themselves to stay in expansion mode are blocking nature. These are the type A personalities who can get heart attacks.)
Roberts (“Seth”) - Your feeling-tones are your emotional attitudes toward yourself and life in general and these generally govern the large areas of experience. Your emotional feelings are often transitory, but beneath there are certain qualities of feeling uniquely your own, that are like deep musical chords. While your day-to-day feelings may rise or fall, these characteristic feeling-tones lie beneath. Sometimes they rise to the surface, but in great long rhythms. You cannot call these negative or positive. They are instead tones of your being. They represent the inner portion of your experience. This does not mean that they are hidden from you, or are meant to be. It simply means that they represent the core from which you form your experience. If you have become afraid of emotion or the expression of feeling, or if you have been taught that the inner self is no more than a repository of uncivilized impulses, then you may be in the habit of denying this deep rhythm. You may try to operate as if it didn’t exist, or even try to refute it. But it represents your deepest, most creative impulses; to fight against it is like trying to swim upstream against a strong current.
These feeling tones, then, pervade your being. They are the form your spirit takes when combined with flesh. From them, from your core, your flesh arises. Everything that you experience has consciousness, and each consciousness is endowed with its own feeling-tone. The feeling tone, then, is the motion and fiber - the timber - the portion of your energy devoted to your physical experience.
Goleman - To some degree, we each have a favored emotional range. Temperament is a given at birth, part of the genetic lottery that has compelling force in the unfolding of life. Temperament can be defined in terms of the moods that typify our emotional life. Four temperamental types (per Jerome Kagan): timid, bold, upbeat and melancholy.
See if you can see yourself.
PERSONALITY TYPES
Jung -Two basic attitudes: introversion and extroversion, and four mental functions: thinking, feeling, sensing, intuiting.
The introverted attitude is interested in exploring and analyzing one’s own internal world. This person is introspective, preoccupied with internal affairs, and may be withdrawn or aloof, unsocial and reserved.
The extroverted attitude is preoccupied by one’s interactions with people and things and appears to be more active and outgoing, taking an interest in what’s around him or her.
The thinking function consists of connecting ideas with each other in order to arrive at a general concept or a solution to a problem. It is an intellectual function that seeks to understand things.
The feeling function is an evaluative one that either accepts or rejects an idea on the basis of whether the idea arouses a pleasant or unpleasant feeling.
Sensation is perception produced by experiences that stimulate the sense organs - sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touch, as well as sensations that originate inside the body.
Intuition is similar to sensation, but differs in that one does not know from where the intuition came or originated. (“I just know.”)
Eight types of individuals: introvert-thinking, introvert-feeling, introvert-sensate, introvert-intuitive, extrovert-thinking, extrovert-feeling, extrovert-sensate, extrovert-intuitive.
Introvert-thinking type seeks to understand his inner being, thinking directed inwardly, the philosopher or existential psychologist; tends to want to be left alone with his or her own thoughts, not concerned about others accepting his or her ideas; also suppresses feelings and may become unapproachable and standoffish, or in extreme cases, out of touch with reality altogether.
Extrovert-thinking type devotes energy to learning as much as possible about the objective, external world, understanding and discovering laws, developing theories; the scientist; tends to repress the feeling side and may become autocratic, vain and impervious to criticism.
Introvert-feeling type has strong, intense feelings buts keeps them hidden from the outside world; may have a mysterious charismatic charm and be quite profound; inclined towards melancholy and depression, silence, and occasionally may erupt in an emotional storm.
Extrovert-feeling type goes with the flow of the moment, wherever feelings lead; subordinates thinking to feelings; may be inclined to be gushy, erratic and moody and form intense attachments and then break them off suddenly.
Introvert-sensate type is immersed in the experience of internal sensations and finds the external world uninteresting; may be inclined to have difficulty expressing himself except through art, but productions are devoid of meaningfulness of thought or feeling.
Extrovert-sensate type lives for the sensations that can be derived from life, sensual, pleasure-seeking, thrill-seeking, but without meaning or reflection; can be given to addictions and compulsions, and can become crude sensualists.
Introvert-intuitive type can have brilliant insights and inspirations, but others must follow up on developing them for this type can’t really develop the intuitions; the dreamer, visionary, prophet, often regarded as an enigma, a misunderstood genius that cannot communicate effectively.
Extrovert-intuitive type discovers and initiates new possibilities in the outer world and can be great promoters, though again, without the capacity for follow-up; can be easily bored, unreliable and unwittingly hurtful, while frittering away their potentials.
Broch (“Guide”) - Three basic types of human personality, predominantly governed by either reason, emotion or will.
Reason-predominant types conduct life mainly through the reasoning process and use the will in the service of the intellect in a premeditative way, through deduction, figuring, calculating, and assessing, not by using their emotional and intuitive nature. They can be quite planful and efficient and logical. People who predominantly come from reason tend to neglect the emotions, are afraid of them, thwart them, cripple them. They are afraid of losing control. Therefore, they don’t have much access to their intuition; they don’t have much real pleasure in life; they secretly look upon the emotional types as inferior, but they are afraid of them. They are proud to be so steeped in the reasoning process.
Emotion-predominant types mainly relate to life from their emotions and pride themselves on their capacity to feel. They can be quite intuitive. These types use the will chaotically and on impulse or in the despair of the moment. They secretly looks down on intellectuals. The emotional types can completely lose sight of reason. There can be an absence of responsible, conscious planning and deliberation. This person is afraid that by curbing his nature he might miss something valuable in life. If the emotional types were balanced enough to use the reasoning capacities more, they would have access to more wisdom, which is love plus the reason.
Will-predominant types are action-oriented, doers whose focus is on achievement. The will is supposed to be the servant of reason and emotion, but in these types the will is the master. These people look down on reasoning capacity and see people of that type as in their head and they despise the emotional types as out of control and weak, seeing both of these other types as not achieving anything. Only they are the achievers. They have a tendency to be impatient, to lose sight of caution, and it is difficult for them to gain real truth because they neglect the rational and emotional sides
.
Gomez - Reich’s Three Cosmic Pulsatory Movements: expansion, contraction, rest.
Expansion in its harmonious form is movement as creativity, growth and building, forward movement, outgoingness, unselfishness, searching for union with anything outside of the self, for the other, the other you. In the negative, expansion manifests as aggression, hostility, quarreling, destructiveness, cruelty, impatience, ultimately in some cases, war.
Contraction in its positive form is assimilation, balance, introspection, inward movement, caution, patience, thoughtfulness, self search. In the negative it manifests as regressive, backward movement, resisting progress, selfishness, egocentricity, avarice, separateness.
Rest in its positive aspect is healthy passivity, preservation, a state of beingness, timelessness, gathering momentum for a new growth cycle. It is needed for fruition to take place. In the negative, it is stagnation, lifelessness, inertia.
Each human being is predominantly motivated by one of these pulsatory movements, but all three are present in everyone and ideally blend harmoniously. (If you just keep expanding, for example, if expansion didn’t work together with contraction, it would become destructive and you would lose grounding. People with tremendous will who force themselves to stay in expansion mode are blocking nature. These are the type A personalities who can get heart attacks.)
Roberts (“Seth”) - Your feeling-tones are your emotional attitudes toward yourself and life in general and these generally govern the large areas of experience. Your emotional feelings are often transitory, but beneath there are certain qualities of feeling uniquely your own, that are like deep musical chords. While your day-to-day feelings may rise or fall, these characteristic feeling-tones lie beneath. Sometimes they rise to the surface, but in great long rhythms. You cannot call these negative or positive. They are instead tones of your being. They represent the inner portion of your experience. This does not mean that they are hidden from you, or are meant to be. It simply means that they represent the core from which you form your experience. If you have become afraid of emotion or the expression of feeling, or if you have been taught that the inner self is no more than a repository of uncivilized impulses, then you may be in the habit of denying this deep rhythm. You may try to operate as if it didn’t exist, or even try to refute it. But it represents your deepest, most creative impulses; to fight against it is like trying to swim upstream against a strong current.
These feeling tones, then, pervade your being. They are the form your spirit takes when combined with flesh. From them, from your core, your flesh arises. Everything that you experience has consciousness, and each consciousness is endowed with its own feeling-tone. The feeling tone, then, is the motion and fiber - the timber - the portion of your energy devoted to your physical experience.
Goleman - To some degree, we each have a favored emotional range. Temperament is a given at birth, part of the genetic lottery that has compelling force in the unfolding of life. Temperament can be defined in terms of the moods that typify our emotional life. Four temperamental types (per Jerome Kagan): timid, bold, upbeat and melancholy.
"WHY LOVE WHEN LOSING HURTS SO MUCH?!"
One of my absolute favorite movies on the subject of love and loss is "SHADOWLANDS."
Anthony Hopkins plays the middle-aged C.S. Lewis, who, we discover as the movie begins, has avoided love ever since the death of his mother in childhood. "Why love when losing hurts so much," is his creed. Then, he falls in love with an American woman, played by Debra Winger, who it turns out is dying of cancer. Hopkins' Lewis at first resists the pull to fall in love, then once he does fall, he resists facing up to the pending loss of his beloved. Winger's character insists that they face the loss together because she understands that feeling it, even in advance, will keep their love alive. "The pain then is part of the happiness now," she says. At the very end of the movie, Hopkins' character has evolved. He grieves, and through that grief, he discovers that the love lives inside of him. He is free. Hopkins' character learned that to embrace love fully is to embrace loss fully, and that ultimately, it is worth it.
"To one degree or another, we are all in a state of interrupted mourning." Mark Epstein, a psychiatrist and practicing Buddhist, who I quote often on this blog, says that in his excellent book, "GOING TO PIECES WITHOUT FALLING APART." It is not meant to be grim. Epstein is merely saying that life is always changing, always growing, evolving, etc., and as human beings, living in a physical reality in linear time, we experience that changing process as loss.
I often think that the whole human experiment is about experiencing love, the one true energy of All That Is, in physical form and linear time, and learning that the feelings of loss that go along with loving need not be felt as "bad."
"Sad is not bad," I often say to my fellow travelers. Sad is what we temporarily feel when we let go, which is what we are always needing to do in order to love.
Here's the paradox - you cannot really own something internally until you let it go. So many people, for example, feel bitter for so long after a love relationship ends because they don't let go, which would actually allow whatever the goodness of the relationship was to become a permanent part of them.
Here's Epstein:
"We cling to our loved ones, and in doing so, we distance ourselves from a grief that is an inevitable component of affection. Using our best obsessional defenses to keep this mourning at bay, we pay a price in how isolated and cut-off we can feel."
Here's a Buddhist story that Epstein recounts in his book:
"A Tibetan master's son died suddenly from an illness. Hearing him weep inconsolably, the master's disciples confronted him with their surprise. "You taught us that all is illusion and that we should not be attached," they admonished him. "Why are you weeping and wailing?"
The master answered, "Indeed, all is illusion. But the loss of a child is the most painful illusion."
Anthony Hopkins plays the middle-aged C.S. Lewis, who, we discover as the movie begins, has avoided love ever since the death of his mother in childhood. "Why love when losing hurts so much," is his creed. Then, he falls in love with an American woman, played by Debra Winger, who it turns out is dying of cancer. Hopkins' Lewis at first resists the pull to fall in love, then once he does fall, he resists facing up to the pending loss of his beloved. Winger's character insists that they face the loss together because she understands that feeling it, even in advance, will keep their love alive. "The pain then is part of the happiness now," she says. At the very end of the movie, Hopkins' character has evolved. He grieves, and through that grief, he discovers that the love lives inside of him. He is free. Hopkins' character learned that to embrace love fully is to embrace loss fully, and that ultimately, it is worth it.
"To one degree or another, we are all in a state of interrupted mourning." Mark Epstein, a psychiatrist and practicing Buddhist, who I quote often on this blog, says that in his excellent book, "GOING TO PIECES WITHOUT FALLING APART." It is not meant to be grim. Epstein is merely saying that life is always changing, always growing, evolving, etc., and as human beings, living in a physical reality in linear time, we experience that changing process as loss.
I often think that the whole human experiment is about experiencing love, the one true energy of All That Is, in physical form and linear time, and learning that the feelings of loss that go along with loving need not be felt as "bad."
"Sad is not bad," I often say to my fellow travelers. Sad is what we temporarily feel when we let go, which is what we are always needing to do in order to love.
Here's the paradox - you cannot really own something internally until you let it go. So many people, for example, feel bitter for so long after a love relationship ends because they don't let go, which would actually allow whatever the goodness of the relationship was to become a permanent part of them.
Here's Epstein:
"We cling to our loved ones, and in doing so, we distance ourselves from a grief that is an inevitable component of affection. Using our best obsessional defenses to keep this mourning at bay, we pay a price in how isolated and cut-off we can feel."
Here's a Buddhist story that Epstein recounts in his book:
"A Tibetan master's son died suddenly from an illness. Hearing him weep inconsolably, the master's disciples confronted him with their surprise. "You taught us that all is illusion and that we should not be attached," they admonished him. "Why are you weeping and wailing?"
The master answered, "Indeed, all is illusion. But the loss of a child is the most painful illusion."
REPOST: "THE EGO AND THE SOUL: HOW FAR THE JOURNEY GOES!"
This is an excerpt from a class I taught in 2001 at my Institute for Full Permission Living. The particular class was entitled: "Beyond Therapy."
This is a very important subject, addressing the question of why some people go further than others, even though they may be engaged in the same therapeutic process.
Here's the excerpt:
What determines how far a person can go at any one time in an evolutionary process? The methodology of the therapy we have practiced offers techniques for increasing self-awareness and understanding, uncovering beliefs and freeing up feelings. Those are essential ingredients needed for actualizing the goal of fulfilled living. No therapy, however, nor any techniques, can overrule a person’s free will. That is one of the basic ingredients of being sentient and conscious, that we possess “will-power” - even to disregard our own natural instincts, even to thwart our own fulfillment. Our free will cannot be taken away from us. Even under the most controlled of circumstances, such as being literally imprisoned, human beings can still exert their free will finally by ending their own lives if they choose to.
But what might cause a person to hold back from surrendering the ego’s self-will when doing so would lead to freedom and pleasure in life? Why would someone “choose” to stay in a seemingly less evolved place, and what are the implications for us as therapists and generally as people in relationships in such cases?
All of the great spiritual teachings available to us, both ancient and modern, at some point speak of a kind of “giving up of the self” as the task in an advanced phase of development. In addition to the great fear of the unknown that this inspires, it also calls for the release of one’s identification with the ego’s self-will. This requires the elimination of pride as a force in one’s consciousness. To many, this will seems like the equivalent of death or annihilation. Thus, even after the achievement of much emotional freedom and a great deal of self-awareness, there can still be resistance to further letting go. While most of us experience a certain level of this “death of the ego” when we go to sleep, meditate or have an orgasm, to live that way seems, in most people’s imaginations, to be the equivalent of non-existence. In fact, the ego does not die in such moments; it is merely released from all but its one proper function - that of observing.
Pathwork Guide: “Man believes this split-off ego-consciousness to be his real self...Thus, the ego maintains itself with pride. It maintains its separate state by creating an unreal, artificial conflict between the self and others. It is always ‘I versus you’ and this always creates a spirit of one-upmanship.”
Epstein: “It is the self-concept, the representational part of the ego...that is the target of Buddhist insight...the self-representation is revealed as lacking concrete existence...Thus, meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using ego to observe and tame its own manifestations. Development of the capacity to attend to the moment-to-moment nature of mind allows the self to be experienced without the distortions of idealization or wishful fantasy.”
Another angle from which to understand why a person embarked on an accelerated evolutionary path may seem to hit a plateau in their “forward” motion is based on the notion of reincarnation as a developmental process, like growing up, and that each soul, therefore, may be at a particular “age” in their cycle of lifetimes. According to Joya Pope (Upcoming Changes), human souls are all in different stages in their reincarnational cycles on earth. She calls these stages “soul ages.” Just as we develop within the course of one lifetime from infants to adults, so too do souls develop over the course of many lifetimes. This may be one reason why people of the same basic age and background, for example, even two people from the same family can have such different characteristics and very different levels of maturity. It may also be why several people with the same basic character structure elements due to early childhood experiences may have quite different levels of functioning and progress differently in their therapy process. (I have tended to think of this difference between people regarding their spiritual development as a function of how much soul energy they have brought into a particular lifetime. In other words, someone leading a rather undeveloped, simplistic and not very self-aware life, yet perhaps living in a relative state of comfort with set routines and rituals, etc., I have thought of as someone who has not brought a lot of soul energy into that particular lifetime. Joya Pope would say that this is a “baby soul”, not totally brand new to life on earth, but close.)
On this continuum, one could envision that souls may bring in increasing amounts of energy with each incarnation, passing through a sort of spiritual childhood, adolescence, adulthood and maturity . Regarding the will issue, then, one might imagine that an adolescent or even young adult soul may strongly value and intensely cling to its newly blossomed human ego and the experience of asserting its will at that level above all else, while the mature, older souls may value the relaxation and peace that comes from surrendering the ego.
What does all of this mean for the practitioners of full-spectrum healing processes in their work with their clients? (And by implication, what does it mean for everyone engaged in the “business” of relationship?)
Any therapist in general is going to primarily attract and stay interested in working with people basically of the same relative level of development, or soul age, as himself or herself, with the therapist perhaps slightly ahead initially within the respective soul-age range. So, if the therapist is very ego-based, oriented towards relationships of control and outer accomplishments, a “young soul” according to Pope, he or she will attract clients with that kind of attitude and approach towards life. Together, they may enhance each other’s development and growth processes substantially, especially in external ways, though their relationship may be fraught with power struggles. An old soul, on the other hand, will mainly be interested in working with other old souls, with the focus of therapy being the enrichment of spiritual life first, and then learning how to blend that spirituality harmoniously and pleasurably with material abundance and physical well-being. (According to Pope, and my experience corroborates this, many an old soul will go through a period of material and financial struggle or impoverishment due to a lack of ambition in this area, while they are pursuing spiritual matters.)
A therapist may also attract some patients who are at a significantly earlier level of development or soul age than the therapist, or the therapist may evolve himself to a more developed place than when the initial relationship began with a particular patient. This can put him in conflict with his patient, especially if said patient hasn’t evolved at the same pace. In such a case, the therapist could become impatient, bored or pushy, or think that the therapy is failing in some way. In fact, though, the pace of one’s growth is not something that is only a function of the therapy. Accepting and recognizing that there are forces at work in a human being’s life that are not subject to the interventions of another is a crucial task of the maturing guide (and the maturing person in relationships).
Does this mean that people have developmental “ceilings” in a lifetime, places beyond which they “can’t” go due to lack of soul age or energy? Perhaps, but not necessarily so. Each soul comes in with a particular task or set of tasks to undertake and experience, and as such sets the stage for their development by arranging certain parameters (choice of parents and environment, gender and genetic make-up, time period, character structures, etc.). Those parameters will appear to be limitations to some extent in a lifetime as to how far a person can go in terms of self-awareness, understanding, knowingness and the capacity to love and experience pleasure. However, as the Pathwork Guide describes in some of its lectures, it is possible for a soul, upon completion of a particular task set forth in a lifetime to reach a certain level, to reincarnate again within the same lifetime.
This reincarnation within an incarnation will often manifest as a dramatic change in direction, lifestyle and attitude toward the main areas of life (i.e. - relationships and work) and very often take the form of some kind of crisis .
The Guide: “A person who is truly on a path of accelerated development can and frequently does literally reincarnate in the same lifetime...if the personality is truly devoted to give all of itself to his own fulfillment and expansion and to his capacity to change its inherent seed plan. Now, I say that a path such as this one...is indeed a very rare and intense one.”
A therapist can only be a supportive and reflective observer for patient going through such a dramatic shift. Such a change in life-tasks and parameters would also imply that the therapist’s place in that person’s life would also be dramatically altered. The nature of the relationship would surely change and could “end” altogether, at least in present time and in its present form. Likewise, if the therapist goes through such a reincarnation within a lifetime, his relationships with his clients will be pushed forcefully to a new place. Similarly, those shifts may bring about a new level of equality and mutuality between therapist and patient, or bring about an ending for the time being.
This is a very important subject, addressing the question of why some people go further than others, even though they may be engaged in the same therapeutic process.
Here's the excerpt:
What determines how far a person can go at any one time in an evolutionary process? The methodology of the therapy we have practiced offers techniques for increasing self-awareness and understanding, uncovering beliefs and freeing up feelings. Those are essential ingredients needed for actualizing the goal of fulfilled living. No therapy, however, nor any techniques, can overrule a person’s free will. That is one of the basic ingredients of being sentient and conscious, that we possess “will-power” - even to disregard our own natural instincts, even to thwart our own fulfillment. Our free will cannot be taken away from us. Even under the most controlled of circumstances, such as being literally imprisoned, human beings can still exert their free will finally by ending their own lives if they choose to.
But what might cause a person to hold back from surrendering the ego’s self-will when doing so would lead to freedom and pleasure in life? Why would someone “choose” to stay in a seemingly less evolved place, and what are the implications for us as therapists and generally as people in relationships in such cases?
All of the great spiritual teachings available to us, both ancient and modern, at some point speak of a kind of “giving up of the self” as the task in an advanced phase of development. In addition to the great fear of the unknown that this inspires, it also calls for the release of one’s identification with the ego’s self-will. This requires the elimination of pride as a force in one’s consciousness. To many, this will seems like the equivalent of death or annihilation. Thus, even after the achievement of much emotional freedom and a great deal of self-awareness, there can still be resistance to further letting go. While most of us experience a certain level of this “death of the ego” when we go to sleep, meditate or have an orgasm, to live that way seems, in most people’s imaginations, to be the equivalent of non-existence. In fact, the ego does not die in such moments; it is merely released from all but its one proper function - that of observing.
Pathwork Guide: “Man believes this split-off ego-consciousness to be his real self...Thus, the ego maintains itself with pride. It maintains its separate state by creating an unreal, artificial conflict between the self and others. It is always ‘I versus you’ and this always creates a spirit of one-upmanship.”
Epstein: “It is the self-concept, the representational part of the ego...that is the target of Buddhist insight...the self-representation is revealed as lacking concrete existence...Thus, meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using ego to observe and tame its own manifestations. Development of the capacity to attend to the moment-to-moment nature of mind allows the self to be experienced without the distortions of idealization or wishful fantasy.”
Another angle from which to understand why a person embarked on an accelerated evolutionary path may seem to hit a plateau in their “forward” motion is based on the notion of reincarnation as a developmental process, like growing up, and that each soul, therefore, may be at a particular “age” in their cycle of lifetimes. According to Joya Pope (Upcoming Changes), human souls are all in different stages in their reincarnational cycles on earth. She calls these stages “soul ages.” Just as we develop within the course of one lifetime from infants to adults, so too do souls develop over the course of many lifetimes. This may be one reason why people of the same basic age and background, for example, even two people from the same family can have such different characteristics and very different levels of maturity. It may also be why several people with the same basic character structure elements due to early childhood experiences may have quite different levels of functioning and progress differently in their therapy process. (I have tended to think of this difference between people regarding their spiritual development as a function of how much soul energy they have brought into a particular lifetime. In other words, someone leading a rather undeveloped, simplistic and not very self-aware life, yet perhaps living in a relative state of comfort with set routines and rituals, etc., I have thought of as someone who has not brought a lot of soul energy into that particular lifetime. Joya Pope would say that this is a “baby soul”, not totally brand new to life on earth, but close.)
On this continuum, one could envision that souls may bring in increasing amounts of energy with each incarnation, passing through a sort of spiritual childhood, adolescence, adulthood and maturity . Regarding the will issue, then, one might imagine that an adolescent or even young adult soul may strongly value and intensely cling to its newly blossomed human ego and the experience of asserting its will at that level above all else, while the mature, older souls may value the relaxation and peace that comes from surrendering the ego.
What does all of this mean for the practitioners of full-spectrum healing processes in their work with their clients? (And by implication, what does it mean for everyone engaged in the “business” of relationship?)
Any therapist in general is going to primarily attract and stay interested in working with people basically of the same relative level of development, or soul age, as himself or herself, with the therapist perhaps slightly ahead initially within the respective soul-age range. So, if the therapist is very ego-based, oriented towards relationships of control and outer accomplishments, a “young soul” according to Pope, he or she will attract clients with that kind of attitude and approach towards life. Together, they may enhance each other’s development and growth processes substantially, especially in external ways, though their relationship may be fraught with power struggles. An old soul, on the other hand, will mainly be interested in working with other old souls, with the focus of therapy being the enrichment of spiritual life first, and then learning how to blend that spirituality harmoniously and pleasurably with material abundance and physical well-being. (According to Pope, and my experience corroborates this, many an old soul will go through a period of material and financial struggle or impoverishment due to a lack of ambition in this area, while they are pursuing spiritual matters.)
A therapist may also attract some patients who are at a significantly earlier level of development or soul age than the therapist, or the therapist may evolve himself to a more developed place than when the initial relationship began with a particular patient. This can put him in conflict with his patient, especially if said patient hasn’t evolved at the same pace. In such a case, the therapist could become impatient, bored or pushy, or think that the therapy is failing in some way. In fact, though, the pace of one’s growth is not something that is only a function of the therapy. Accepting and recognizing that there are forces at work in a human being’s life that are not subject to the interventions of another is a crucial task of the maturing guide (and the maturing person in relationships).
Does this mean that people have developmental “ceilings” in a lifetime, places beyond which they “can’t” go due to lack of soul age or energy? Perhaps, but not necessarily so. Each soul comes in with a particular task or set of tasks to undertake and experience, and as such sets the stage for their development by arranging certain parameters (choice of parents and environment, gender and genetic make-up, time period, character structures, etc.). Those parameters will appear to be limitations to some extent in a lifetime as to how far a person can go in terms of self-awareness, understanding, knowingness and the capacity to love and experience pleasure. However, as the Pathwork Guide describes in some of its lectures, it is possible for a soul, upon completion of a particular task set forth in a lifetime to reach a certain level, to reincarnate again within the same lifetime.
This reincarnation within an incarnation will often manifest as a dramatic change in direction, lifestyle and attitude toward the main areas of life (i.e. - relationships and work) and very often take the form of some kind of crisis .
The Guide: “A person who is truly on a path of accelerated development can and frequently does literally reincarnate in the same lifetime...if the personality is truly devoted to give all of itself to his own fulfillment and expansion and to his capacity to change its inherent seed plan. Now, I say that a path such as this one...is indeed a very rare and intense one.”
A therapist can only be a supportive and reflective observer for patient going through such a dramatic shift. Such a change in life-tasks and parameters would also imply that the therapist’s place in that person’s life would also be dramatically altered. The nature of the relationship would surely change and could “end” altogether, at least in present time and in its present form. Likewise, if the therapist goes through such a reincarnation within a lifetime, his relationships with his clients will be pushed forcefully to a new place. Similarly, those shifts may bring about a new level of equality and mutuality between therapist and patient, or bring about an ending for the time being.
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"It should be an accepted fact of life that sometimes relationships just come to an end, and that end often occurs long prior to one of the spouses passing away. This does not mean the relationship, nor the marriage was a 'failure."
Fred SIlverberg (From a piece entitled "Divorce Is Not A Failure")
Fred SIlverberg (From a piece entitled "Divorce Is Not A Failure")
LOVE JUNKIES? MAYBE IT'S NOT LOVE!
Here's an excerpt from a blog piece on the Huffington Post entitled, "Signs That Your 'Loving Relationship' May Be an Addiction," by Suzanne B. Phillips, Psychologist, Psychoanalyst, Author:
"Addictive relating, as evidenced by the proliferation of books on the subject, is all too common, painful and suffered by both men and women. In my work with people trapped in addictive relationships, it becomes clear that their efforts to 'desperately keep someone' has much more to do with needing the other at any cost than about sharing a loving relationship."
Like Suzanne Phillips, I speak often in sessions with couples about the dynamics and dysfunction of "co-dependence," as it is popularly known, though initially, most people who are in co-dependent/addictive relationships don't know that they are.
So many people confuse love with co-dependence, just as so many people confuse love with Eros.
Those feelings of "need" - for validation, self-worth and caretaking - and the "incompleteness" one feels without the constant presence of the other in one's life are two sure signs of co-dependency. But let me say it again: co-dependence is not love, and it is not not Eros. In fact, co-dependence suffocates love and Eros, and love and Eros dissolve co-dependence
Love is that Universal feeling, the energy of the essence of All That Is, that channels through all of us to varying degrees for friends, family, lovers, nature, humanity at large and for ourselves. Love is eternal and all-encompassing and unconditional.
Eros is that special "in-love" feeling that we experience usually for one particular person at a time. It is like a laser beam that raises our vibration to the highest heights, that energy that makes the very cells of our bodies sing, that focuses and intensifies our senses. And in many cases, Eros can be fleeting, so direct self-work must be done to keep the channels open enough for it to flow through us as long as possible.
True love and Eros create independence, not dependence. Allowing love and Eros to flow through us is its own validation of the self, its own source of nurturance, and creates within us a singular feeling of completeness.
For more on this subject, you can read, or re-read, my favorite Pathwork Guide lecture: THE FORCES OF LOVE, EROS, AND SEX.
"Addictive relating, as evidenced by the proliferation of books on the subject, is all too common, painful and suffered by both men and women. In my work with people trapped in addictive relationships, it becomes clear that their efforts to 'desperately keep someone' has much more to do with needing the other at any cost than about sharing a loving relationship."
Like Suzanne Phillips, I speak often in sessions with couples about the dynamics and dysfunction of "co-dependence," as it is popularly known, though initially, most people who are in co-dependent/addictive relationships don't know that they are.
So many people confuse love with co-dependence, just as so many people confuse love with Eros.
Those feelings of "need" - for validation, self-worth and caretaking - and the "incompleteness" one feels without the constant presence of the other in one's life are two sure signs of co-dependency. But let me say it again: co-dependence is not love, and it is not not Eros. In fact, co-dependence suffocates love and Eros, and love and Eros dissolve co-dependence
Love is that Universal feeling, the energy of the essence of All That Is, that channels through all of us to varying degrees for friends, family, lovers, nature, humanity at large and for ourselves. Love is eternal and all-encompassing and unconditional.
Eros is that special "in-love" feeling that we experience usually for one particular person at a time. It is like a laser beam that raises our vibration to the highest heights, that energy that makes the very cells of our bodies sing, that focuses and intensifies our senses. And in many cases, Eros can be fleeting, so direct self-work must be done to keep the channels open enough for it to flow through us as long as possible.
True love and Eros create independence, not dependence. Allowing love and Eros to flow through us is its own validation of the self, its own source of nurturance, and creates within us a singular feeling of completeness.
For more on this subject, you can read, or re-read, my favorite Pathwork Guide lecture: THE FORCES OF LOVE, EROS, AND SEX.
PERSONALITY!
Here's more excerpts from the same class of mine that the ego material was from. This material is on "personality." Again, feel free to ask questions.
PERSONALITY
Webster’s Dictionary - The visible aspects of one’s character; a person as an embodiment of a collection of qualities.
Psychiatric Dictionary - The personality represents a compromise between inner drives and needs and the controls that limit or regulate their expression. The personality functions to maintain a stable, reciprocal relationship between the person and his environment. The personality, in other words, is a set of habits that characterize the person in his way of managing day to day living; under ordinary conditions, it is relatively stable and predictable, and for the most part it is ego-syntonic.
Freud - Three aspects of the personality: Id, Ego, Superego.
Id: Completely unconscious, its sole function is to provide for the immediate discharge of energy or tension. It contains the Pleasure Principle and the survival instinct. It is the “obscure, inaccessible part of our personality...the reservoir of the psychic representations of the drives of sex and aggression.”
Ego: The executive of the personality, controlling and governing the id and superego and maintaining communication with the external world in the interest of the total personality and its needs. It is governed by the Reality Principle, the aim of which is to postpone the discharge of energy until the actual object that will satisfy the need has been discovered or produced.
Superego: The moral or judicial branch of the personality that represents one’s perceived ideal, striving for perfection rather than pleasure or reality. It includes idealized images of parents, positive and negative, and judgments about good and bad, right and wrong, and what is deserving of reward or punishment.
Jung - Three levels of the psyche: Consciousness, Personal Unconscious, Collective Unconscious.
Consciousness: The only part of the mind that is known directly by the individual. It has four mental functions (thinking, feeling, sensing and intuiting) and two attitudes (introversion and extroversion).
Personal Unconscious: Contains all psychic activities and contents which have been repressed or disregarded such as distressing thought, unsolved problems and personal conflict. The contents here are usually accessible to the consciousness when the need for them arises.
Collective Unconscious: A reservoir of latent, primordial images inherited from our ancestral past manifested as predispositions or potentialities for experiencing or responding to the world. The contents of the collective unconscious are called archetypes (meaning original models after which other similar images are patterned), a major one being the persona which is a mask or facade one exhibits publicly with the intention of presenting a favorable impression in order to be accepted. A person may have more than one mask, and collectively, all of one’s masks constitute the persona. Other major archetypes include the anima, which is the feminine side of the male psyche, the animus, the masculine side of the female psyche, and the shadow, which contains the human being’s basic animal nature and is the source of the best and the worst in humanity.
Berne - Transactional Analysis emphasizes the influence of the ego states of Parent, Adult and Child on a person’s interactions with others. The Parent ego state relates to limit-setting and nurturing; it is based on the subject’s perception of their own parents. The Adult ego state is concerned with reality testing and estimating probabilities in transactions with the outside world. The Child ego state comprises the feelings, wishes, and adaptations actually experienced in childhood.
Most outcomes of an exchange are determined by ulterior transactions, psychological responses that are outside the awareness of the participants. People play games, adopting the role of Persecutor, Rescuer, or Victim, using ulterior transactions in such a way that everyone loses.
Pierrakos - Three levels of personal reality: Core, Lower Self, Mask
The Core: the human being’s whole capacity, a glowing, vital mass, both the source and the perceiver of life force. The Core has complete unity, no either-or, no good-bad. It is an indivisible vibratory operation, a process in which every person knows the truth instinctively by sensing the pulse of life. The qualitative characteristics of the core are the primal positive emotions, or movements to make contact and unify with the outside world, summed up as one supreme expression: love.
Lower Self: the source of the primal negative emotions. These destructive emotions are galvanized when positive impulses from level 1 are negated, whether from inside or outside of the organism. This negation is the seat of fight or flight reactions in their various forms and degrees - rage and hatred, panic and terror, cruelty and selfishness, the negative impulses described by Freud.
Mask: The outer husk of the human defensive structure, which presents a false face, an idealized, self image to the world. The mask seeks to conceal the Lower Self by misappropriating the energy of the Core.
Gomez - Three aspects of the personality: Childish Self, Adult Self, True Self
Childish Self: The Childish Self contains the primal basic human needs and the raw, negative feelings, such as rage and terror (and their derivatives), when those needs are not gratified. The Childish Self develops enough intellect to know that if it expresses itself directly from its raw feelings, it will receive a negative response from the environment, so it creates the Masked Self (False Self). In that effort, the Childish Self creates an idealized self image and then tries to act as if it really were that image to get what it needs and wants, trying to appear pleasing or cooperative, special, etc.
Adult Self: The Adult Self is the current, but temporary, “captain” of the personality with its will power and intellect/reasoning capacities; its tasks are to be in contact with inner and outer reality, with the Childish Self and the True Self, to facilitate a “dialogue” between the three aspects of the personality, and to know from which aspect one is coming from at any given moment; the main task of the Adult Ego is to integrate with the True Self, to give itself up, ultimately, and surrender to the True Self (This can only be done if the ego is strong, and the adult ego is strengthened by bringing the unconscious Childish Self to the surface so it can be seen and transformed, so the adult can be its mentor, to educate and love the child, finding and correcting the erroneous beliefs, and clearing the held negative feelings and the motives and constructs behind those feelings).
True Self: (Inner Self, Higher Self) This aspect is eternal, contains all of the creativity, intuition, wisdom and pure pleasure of one’s being; it is the Universe itself, consciousness in the deepest and highest sense, eternally moving; it manifests as inspirations and knowingness; the more we are in contact with the Higher Self, the more secure and safe we feel, the more able to cope with everything, the more apparent contradictions unify, fears disappear, and life becomes pleasurable; this is the real potential in everyone; it is the destiny towards which evolution moves us; it is the deep constant longing that we have inside.
Broch (“Guide”) - Personality is based on these three attributes - Love, Wisdom and Divine Will (True Self) which become Emotions, Reason and Will Power (Adult;) which become Fear, Pride and Self-Will (Child, distorted), with a predominance of one or two. The three aspects each have a place in the personality when we are functioning harmoniously. (Often, however, they are directed into the wrong channels. For example, when you need to use your love attribute, but you use your will instead.)
PERSONALITY
Webster’s Dictionary - The visible aspects of one’s character; a person as an embodiment of a collection of qualities.
Psychiatric Dictionary - The personality represents a compromise between inner drives and needs and the controls that limit or regulate their expression. The personality functions to maintain a stable, reciprocal relationship between the person and his environment. The personality, in other words, is a set of habits that characterize the person in his way of managing day to day living; under ordinary conditions, it is relatively stable and predictable, and for the most part it is ego-syntonic.
Freud - Three aspects of the personality: Id, Ego, Superego.
Id: Completely unconscious, its sole function is to provide for the immediate discharge of energy or tension. It contains the Pleasure Principle and the survival instinct. It is the “obscure, inaccessible part of our personality...the reservoir of the psychic representations of the drives of sex and aggression.”
Ego: The executive of the personality, controlling and governing the id and superego and maintaining communication with the external world in the interest of the total personality and its needs. It is governed by the Reality Principle, the aim of which is to postpone the discharge of energy until the actual object that will satisfy the need has been discovered or produced.
Superego: The moral or judicial branch of the personality that represents one’s perceived ideal, striving for perfection rather than pleasure or reality. It includes idealized images of parents, positive and negative, and judgments about good and bad, right and wrong, and what is deserving of reward or punishment.
Jung - Three levels of the psyche: Consciousness, Personal Unconscious, Collective Unconscious.
Consciousness: The only part of the mind that is known directly by the individual. It has four mental functions (thinking, feeling, sensing and intuiting) and two attitudes (introversion and extroversion).
Personal Unconscious: Contains all psychic activities and contents which have been repressed or disregarded such as distressing thought, unsolved problems and personal conflict. The contents here are usually accessible to the consciousness when the need for them arises.
Collective Unconscious: A reservoir of latent, primordial images inherited from our ancestral past manifested as predispositions or potentialities for experiencing or responding to the world. The contents of the collective unconscious are called archetypes (meaning original models after which other similar images are patterned), a major one being the persona which is a mask or facade one exhibits publicly with the intention of presenting a favorable impression in order to be accepted. A person may have more than one mask, and collectively, all of one’s masks constitute the persona. Other major archetypes include the anima, which is the feminine side of the male psyche, the animus, the masculine side of the female psyche, and the shadow, which contains the human being’s basic animal nature and is the source of the best and the worst in humanity.
Berne - Transactional Analysis emphasizes the influence of the ego states of Parent, Adult and Child on a person’s interactions with others. The Parent ego state relates to limit-setting and nurturing; it is based on the subject’s perception of their own parents. The Adult ego state is concerned with reality testing and estimating probabilities in transactions with the outside world. The Child ego state comprises the feelings, wishes, and adaptations actually experienced in childhood.
Most outcomes of an exchange are determined by ulterior transactions, psychological responses that are outside the awareness of the participants. People play games, adopting the role of Persecutor, Rescuer, or Victim, using ulterior transactions in such a way that everyone loses.
Pierrakos - Three levels of personal reality: Core, Lower Self, Mask
The Core: the human being’s whole capacity, a glowing, vital mass, both the source and the perceiver of life force. The Core has complete unity, no either-or, no good-bad. It is an indivisible vibratory operation, a process in which every person knows the truth instinctively by sensing the pulse of life. The qualitative characteristics of the core are the primal positive emotions, or movements to make contact and unify with the outside world, summed up as one supreme expression: love.
Lower Self: the source of the primal negative emotions. These destructive emotions are galvanized when positive impulses from level 1 are negated, whether from inside or outside of the organism. This negation is the seat of fight or flight reactions in their various forms and degrees - rage and hatred, panic and terror, cruelty and selfishness, the negative impulses described by Freud.
Mask: The outer husk of the human defensive structure, which presents a false face, an idealized, self image to the world. The mask seeks to conceal the Lower Self by misappropriating the energy of the Core.
Gomez - Three aspects of the personality: Childish Self, Adult Self, True Self
Childish Self: The Childish Self contains the primal basic human needs and the raw, negative feelings, such as rage and terror (and their derivatives), when those needs are not gratified. The Childish Self develops enough intellect to know that if it expresses itself directly from its raw feelings, it will receive a negative response from the environment, so it creates the Masked Self (False Self). In that effort, the Childish Self creates an idealized self image and then tries to act as if it really were that image to get what it needs and wants, trying to appear pleasing or cooperative, special, etc.
Adult Self: The Adult Self is the current, but temporary, “captain” of the personality with its will power and intellect/reasoning capacities; its tasks are to be in contact with inner and outer reality, with the Childish Self and the True Self, to facilitate a “dialogue” between the three aspects of the personality, and to know from which aspect one is coming from at any given moment; the main task of the Adult Ego is to integrate with the True Self, to give itself up, ultimately, and surrender to the True Self (This can only be done if the ego is strong, and the adult ego is strengthened by bringing the unconscious Childish Self to the surface so it can be seen and transformed, so the adult can be its mentor, to educate and love the child, finding and correcting the erroneous beliefs, and clearing the held negative feelings and the motives and constructs behind those feelings).
True Self: (Inner Self, Higher Self) This aspect is eternal, contains all of the creativity, intuition, wisdom and pure pleasure of one’s being; it is the Universe itself, consciousness in the deepest and highest sense, eternally moving; it manifests as inspirations and knowingness; the more we are in contact with the Higher Self, the more secure and safe we feel, the more able to cope with everything, the more apparent contradictions unify, fears disappear, and life becomes pleasurable; this is the real potential in everyone; it is the destiny towards which evolution moves us; it is the deep constant longing that we have inside.
Broch (“Guide”) - Personality is based on these three attributes - Love, Wisdom and Divine Will (True Self) which become Emotions, Reason and Will Power (Adult;) which become Fear, Pride and Self-Will (Child, distorted), with a predominance of one or two. The three aspects each have a place in the personality when we are functioning harmoniously. (Often, however, they are directed into the wrong channels. For example, when you need to use your love attribute, but you use your will instead.)
EGO!
Many people I work with ask me to explain exactly what the ego is and how it ends up becoming such a disruptive aspect of our personality. Here are some excerpts, straight from my class on THE SELF, with several descriptions of the ego from sources that I consider to be reputable and enlightened. If you have any questions, feel free...
EGO
Psychiatric Dictionary - that part of the psychic apparatus that is the mediator between the person and reality. Its prime function is the perception of reality and adaptation to it. The various tasks of the ego include perception, self-perception and self-awareness, motor control, memory, thinking, reconciling conflicting ideas and the demands of internal and external elements.
Freud - The ego is the executive of the personality, controlling and governing the id and the superego and maintaining commerce with the external world in the interest of the total personality and its needs. Instead of the pleasure principle, the ego is governed by the reality principle, the aim of which is to postpone the discharge of energy until the actual object that will satisfy the need has been discovered or produced. This secondary process does not make the mistake, as the primary process does, of regarding the image of an object as though it were the object itself.
The ego appears as something autonomous and unitary, marked off distinctively from everything else. There is only one unusual state that is not pathological in which this is not so. At the height of being in love, the boundary between ego and object threatens to melt away. Against all the evidence of the senses, someone in love declares that “I” and “you” are one and is prepared to behave as if it were a fact.
Pierrakos - The ego stands guard at the intersection of human consciousness between inner and outer reality. A healthy ego is flexible and permeable. It can drop its mask and yield to the spontaneity of the Higher Self. It sees itself in perspective in the three dimensional setting of earth time, space and movement. It gives proportion to the expressions of inner reality and seeks avenues for those expressions in outer reality, and it takes direction from outer reality and seeks its meaning for inner reality.
The abuse of the ego is the major way that people cut themselves off from their core and create and perpetuate illness. Aligned with the character structure, the ego battles to stifle the mutual exchange of energy between the core and outer reality. From a cosmic point of view, the ego is the primary faculty with which human beings fragment their unity with themselves and the rest of existence. The purpose of Core Energetics is to align the ego with the core rather than adjust to the environment, restoring the ego to its proper function of discriminating rather than ruling. The ego cannot enter the core by force of will or by rational thought. (...just as no one can force oneself to experience love, which is the outreaching movement of the soul. Love emerges spontaneously as the person removes the obstacles of misappropriated energy that stand in the way.) Opening the ego to the core gives us joy, which is the sensation of free inner activity.
Lowen - The ego is the mediator between the inner and outer world, between the self and the other. This function derives from its position at the surface of the body and the surface of the mind. It forms a picture of the external world to which every organism must conform, and in doing so, it shapes the individual’s self-image. In turn, this self-image dictates what feelings and impulses are to be allowed expression. Within the personality, the ego is the representative of reality. The ego shapes the body through the control of the voluntary musculature.
Roberts (“Seth”) - The ego, while a portion of the whole self, can be defined as a psychological structure, composed of characteristics belonging to the personality as a whole, organized together to form a surface identity. It is the portion of the mind that looks out upon physical reality and surveys it in relation to those characteristics of which it is composed at any given time. It makes judgments according to its own idea of itself. It is important to realize the ego’s position as the most “exterior” portion of the inner self, not alienated from it, but looking outward toward physical reality. The ego tries to organize all material coming into the conscious mind. The ego cannot keep information out of the conscious mind, but it can refuse to focus directly upon it. The ego is an offshoot of the conscious mind. The conscious mind is like a gigantic camera with the ego directing the view and the focus.
The ego is your idea of your physical image in relation to the world. Your self-image is not unconscious, then. You are quite aware of it, though you often reject certain thoughts about it in favor of others. False beliefs can result in a rigid ego that insists upon using the unconscious mind in one direction only, further distorting its perceptions.
The ego, while appearing to be permanent, forever changes as it adapts to new characteristics from the whole self. The consciousness of your usual daylight hours, the ego consciousness, rises up like a flower from the ground of the unconscious bed of your own reality. The ego emerges, then falls back again into the unconscious, from which another ego then arise like a new bloom from the springtime earth. You do not have the same ego now that you had five years ago, but you are not aware of the change. The ego rises out of what you are, but as the eye cannot see its own shifting expressions, as it is not aware that it lives and dies constantly as its atomic structure changes, so you are not aware that the ego continually changes, dies and is reborn. Left alone, various portions of the identity rise and form the ego, degroup and reform, all the while maintaining a marvelous spontaneity and yet a sense of oneness. The ego cannot be annihilated. “Kill” one and another will, and must, emerge from the inner self, which is its source. Under enforced annihilation (i.e.-from drugs), there is a frantic attempt at reorganization as the inner self tries to “send up” alternate egos to handle the situation - and in those terms, the more egos you kill, the more will emerge.
EGO
Psychiatric Dictionary - that part of the psychic apparatus that is the mediator between the person and reality. Its prime function is the perception of reality and adaptation to it. The various tasks of the ego include perception, self-perception and self-awareness, motor control, memory, thinking, reconciling conflicting ideas and the demands of internal and external elements.
Freud - The ego is the executive of the personality, controlling and governing the id and the superego and maintaining commerce with the external world in the interest of the total personality and its needs. Instead of the pleasure principle, the ego is governed by the reality principle, the aim of which is to postpone the discharge of energy until the actual object that will satisfy the need has been discovered or produced. This secondary process does not make the mistake, as the primary process does, of regarding the image of an object as though it were the object itself.
The ego appears as something autonomous and unitary, marked off distinctively from everything else. There is only one unusual state that is not pathological in which this is not so. At the height of being in love, the boundary between ego and object threatens to melt away. Against all the evidence of the senses, someone in love declares that “I” and “you” are one and is prepared to behave as if it were a fact.
Pierrakos - The ego stands guard at the intersection of human consciousness between inner and outer reality. A healthy ego is flexible and permeable. It can drop its mask and yield to the spontaneity of the Higher Self. It sees itself in perspective in the three dimensional setting of earth time, space and movement. It gives proportion to the expressions of inner reality and seeks avenues for those expressions in outer reality, and it takes direction from outer reality and seeks its meaning for inner reality.
The abuse of the ego is the major way that people cut themselves off from their core and create and perpetuate illness. Aligned with the character structure, the ego battles to stifle the mutual exchange of energy between the core and outer reality. From a cosmic point of view, the ego is the primary faculty with which human beings fragment their unity with themselves and the rest of existence. The purpose of Core Energetics is to align the ego with the core rather than adjust to the environment, restoring the ego to its proper function of discriminating rather than ruling. The ego cannot enter the core by force of will or by rational thought. (...just as no one can force oneself to experience love, which is the outreaching movement of the soul. Love emerges spontaneously as the person removes the obstacles of misappropriated energy that stand in the way.) Opening the ego to the core gives us joy, which is the sensation of free inner activity.
Lowen - The ego is the mediator between the inner and outer world, between the self and the other. This function derives from its position at the surface of the body and the surface of the mind. It forms a picture of the external world to which every organism must conform, and in doing so, it shapes the individual’s self-image. In turn, this self-image dictates what feelings and impulses are to be allowed expression. Within the personality, the ego is the representative of reality. The ego shapes the body through the control of the voluntary musculature.
Roberts (“Seth”) - The ego, while a portion of the whole self, can be defined as a psychological structure, composed of characteristics belonging to the personality as a whole, organized together to form a surface identity. It is the portion of the mind that looks out upon physical reality and surveys it in relation to those characteristics of which it is composed at any given time. It makes judgments according to its own idea of itself. It is important to realize the ego’s position as the most “exterior” portion of the inner self, not alienated from it, but looking outward toward physical reality. The ego tries to organize all material coming into the conscious mind. The ego cannot keep information out of the conscious mind, but it can refuse to focus directly upon it. The ego is an offshoot of the conscious mind. The conscious mind is like a gigantic camera with the ego directing the view and the focus.
The ego is your idea of your physical image in relation to the world. Your self-image is not unconscious, then. You are quite aware of it, though you often reject certain thoughts about it in favor of others. False beliefs can result in a rigid ego that insists upon using the unconscious mind in one direction only, further distorting its perceptions.
The ego, while appearing to be permanent, forever changes as it adapts to new characteristics from the whole self. The consciousness of your usual daylight hours, the ego consciousness, rises up like a flower from the ground of the unconscious bed of your own reality. The ego emerges, then falls back again into the unconscious, from which another ego then arise like a new bloom from the springtime earth. You do not have the same ego now that you had five years ago, but you are not aware of the change. The ego rises out of what you are, but as the eye cannot see its own shifting expressions, as it is not aware that it lives and dies constantly as its atomic structure changes, so you are not aware that the ego continually changes, dies and is reborn. Left alone, various portions of the identity rise and form the ego, degroup and reform, all the while maintaining a marvelous spontaneity and yet a sense of oneness. The ego cannot be annihilated. “Kill” one and another will, and must, emerge from the inner self, which is its source. Under enforced annihilation (i.e.-from drugs), there is a frantic attempt at reorganization as the inner self tries to “send up” alternate egos to handle the situation - and in those terms, the more egos you kill, the more will emerge.
THE DEADLY SIDE OF THE WAVE, PART 2!
Beginning in January of 2010, I wrote about an energy surge moving across the planet, The Wave is what I called it, and I wrote several articles about its impacts. Two weeks ago, I wrote that The Wave was back in full force, and indeed it is. And in one piece, I reminded my readers that there was a "Deadly Side of The Wave."
The day after Christmas 2010, I wrote this:
"Now, before 2011 has even begun, I am already hearing stories of sudden deaths, relationship break-ups or financial crises, coupled with splendid bursts of new love and creative expression and prosperity."
And it's not over yet. The collective news yesterday and today is filled with the horrific mass murder in Arizona that was part of an assassination attempt on a Democratic Congresswoman, Gabrielle Giffords, and in my own personal reality, a dear friend died suddenly three days ago.
I'm not writing this here now because I'm "worried" about anyone, though. I know that "death" is an illusion of 3rd-dimensional physical, linear reality. I'm writing this because you may know that you have something that you desire to do yet in this particular lifetime, something that you actually planned to accomplish. It's never too late, of course, but there are windows of opportunity that we collectively open up from time to time. That's what The Wave is. An opportunity to take the fast track to your highest joy and excitement and fulfillment, or to make a fast exit.
It's always up to you.
Good-bye, my old friend. Happy trails!
The day after Christmas 2010, I wrote this:
"Now, before 2011 has even begun, I am already hearing stories of sudden deaths, relationship break-ups or financial crises, coupled with splendid bursts of new love and creative expression and prosperity."
And it's not over yet. The collective news yesterday and today is filled with the horrific mass murder in Arizona that was part of an assassination attempt on a Democratic Congresswoman, Gabrielle Giffords, and in my own personal reality, a dear friend died suddenly three days ago.
I'm not writing this here now because I'm "worried" about anyone, though. I know that "death" is an illusion of 3rd-dimensional physical, linear reality. I'm writing this because you may know that you have something that you desire to do yet in this particular lifetime, something that you actually planned to accomplish. It's never too late, of course, but there are windows of opportunity that we collectively open up from time to time. That's what The Wave is. An opportunity to take the fast track to your highest joy and excitement and fulfillment, or to make a fast exit.
It's always up to you.
Good-bye, my old friend. Happy trails!
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