As soon as I read this piece, I knew I was going to post a link to it on the FPL blog without delay. Written by a distraught mother, one Pauline Gaines, her tale, entitled simply but stunningly, "Why I'm Glad I Gave My Ex Custody Of Our Son," is a lesson for every parent or prospective parent.
Your kids know the truth!
Whether you ever speak it out loud, whether you hide it even from yourself, your kids know the truth.
Folks, if you are or plan to become a parent, play the long game. By that I mean don't go for the short-term ego gains of trying to please your kids. Parenting is a job. They're not, nor do they need to be your friends. The love part is there, built in by your Higher Self, so trust that and just do your job!
And while we're at it, don't make your kids a source of supply for your unmet needs from your childhood. That's not their job. Don't live vicariously through their achievements, nor feel defeated by their failures. Let them evolve. They have souls, just like everybody else.
In the end, playing the long game paid off for Pauline and her son. It can for you, too.
TODAY'S PICTURES!
Here comes the sun... (The Beatles gorgeous album of music, "Abbey Road")
There goes the dark...
(Police, using tear gas, arresting hundreds of citizens at Occupy Oakland.)
(Police, using tear gas, arresting hundreds of citizens at Occupy Oakland.)
THE WAVE HITS HOLLYWOOD!
There's a piece on salon.com entitled"Oscar 2012: Chicken soup for the Hollywood Soul" that describes the number of popular movies that came out in 2011 about people in crisis, in particular the kind of life-altering crises that have been typical of what I have been calling The Wave rolling through Planet Earth over the last few years.
Interesting reading and pondering...
Interesting reading and pondering...
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"Nobody needs your help. I know, I know...this is a difficult one. But it is true. Yet this does not mean no one wants your help, or that no one could use your help. It simply means the thought that another aspect of divinity is powerless without you is inaccurate. Do not do something, therefore, because you think someone else needs you. That only builds resentment. Do whatever you do as a means of deciding, declaring, creating, and experiencing who you are--and who you choose to be. Then you will never feel victimized, powerless, or without choice. Yes? You see how simple it all is? Get out of victimhood."
Neil Donald Walsch (Sent to PL by MC)
Neil Donald Walsch (Sent to PL by MC)
BEAUTIFUL RESPONSE TO PL'S: "STILL MORE ON WHY I CONTINUE TO SLAM PARENTS AND DOCTORS!"
This is why I do this, folks, why I started this blog, to give a voice to the Truth (Yes, with a capital "T") to offer and invite actual Wisdom (capital "W"), not conventional wisdom, which far too often represents a system of beliefs that range from primitive superstition, at best, to nefarious lies and manipulations, at worst.
What follows is from a courageous mother who defied the dogma and saved her son from the doctors and "experts."
Thank you, whoever and wherever you are!
Here's "Anonymous":
Thank you for sharing this.
My son was indeed misdiagnosed under the "spectrum," yet I knew to my core that he was in fact being dismissed for his atypical, but gifted, development.
Consequently, I in turn dismissed "the experts" and helped my child even-out at home my (our)own way by spending time with him, teaching him. He was autonomously reading and comprehending complex written language at age two (2), and fluent in the "language" of spatial relationships, yet he did not begin to process spoken language or converse until age (6). These developmental differences were dismissed as being indicative of "autistic markers" and we were sent on our way with recommendations for special schooling and more "experts."
It has been my experience that so many "experts" like to conveniently box children into nice neat categories, pontificate in generalities, and capitalize on the mystical respect we as a society are blindly programmed to give them as health professionals. Essentially, such people diagnose to justify their own degrees. I did find one PhD who was exceptional and pegged my son for being gifted, but the many that I encountered not only severely lacked what I think should be the requisite academic inquisitiveness of a person given such power, but they also did not have children of their own and were thus incapable of knowing the variability of day to day development.
Most importantly, they gave no credence to the input of me as the mother. I too was dismissed and seen as being in denial. This was a very difficult hurdle to overcome, both in the system and from within. The pressure was so great that even with my resolute position intact, I still began to have moments of self-doubt. The reality is that I would have been perfectly willing to accept any issue my son had to deal with, any diagnosis they made, had it been correct.
I wish I could show them my kid now...he is, as you say in your blog, a proud nerd, who has earned academic honors, and has all the human qualities they said he could not have...insight, emotion, empathy. He is doing just fine.
What follows is from a courageous mother who defied the dogma and saved her son from the doctors and "experts."
Thank you, whoever and wherever you are!
Here's "Anonymous":
Thank you for sharing this.
My son was indeed misdiagnosed under the "spectrum," yet I knew to my core that he was in fact being dismissed for his atypical, but gifted, development.
Consequently, I in turn dismissed "the experts" and helped my child even-out at home my (our)own way by spending time with him, teaching him. He was autonomously reading and comprehending complex written language at age two (2), and fluent in the "language" of spatial relationships, yet he did not begin to process spoken language or converse until age (6). These developmental differences were dismissed as being indicative of "autistic markers" and we were sent on our way with recommendations for special schooling and more "experts."
It has been my experience that so many "experts" like to conveniently box children into nice neat categories, pontificate in generalities, and capitalize on the mystical respect we as a society are blindly programmed to give them as health professionals. Essentially, such people diagnose to justify their own degrees. I did find one PhD who was exceptional and pegged my son for being gifted, but the many that I encountered not only severely lacked what I think should be the requisite academic inquisitiveness of a person given such power, but they also did not have children of their own and were thus incapable of knowing the variability of day to day development.
Most importantly, they gave no credence to the input of me as the mother. I too was dismissed and seen as being in denial. This was a very difficult hurdle to overcome, both in the system and from within. The pressure was so great that even with my resolute position intact, I still began to have moments of self-doubt. The reality is that I would have been perfectly willing to accept any issue my son had to deal with, any diagnosis they made, had it been correct.
I wish I could show them my kid now...he is, as you say in your blog, a proud nerd, who has earned academic honors, and has all the human qualities they said he could not have...insight, emotion, empathy. He is doing just fine.
TODAY'S QUOTE! (STILL MORE ON WHY I CONTINUE TO SLAM PARENTS AND DOCTORS!)
"But my experience can’t be unique. Under the rules in place today, any nerd, any withdrawn, bookish kid, can end up diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. This is particularly true if you’re bad at sports or nervous or weird-looking. As I came into my adult personality, it became clear to me and my mother that I didn’t have Asperger syndrome, and she apologized profusely. I forgave her, after about seven years."
Read the entire article HERE.
Read the entire article HERE.
NOW HEAR THIS! MIDDLE AGE IS A MYTH!!
"Middle age is a cultural fiction -- a construct that emerged in the last 150 years through a confluence of factors, including industrialization, modern medicine, government bureaucracy and, of course, media and advertising."
That's the takeaway from the new book "In Our Prime: The Invention of Middle Age," a cultural history of aging by New York Times culture reporter Patricia Cohen.
The article about the book, listing the "Seven Myths About Middle Age" is definitely worth reading.
Over the years, I have listened to the most absurd things from men and women in middle age about these myths, especially the ones about sexual desire diminishing, about the trials and tribulations of menopause, and about physical deterioration.
My one word answer to those ideas: Nonsense!
You can find many articles HERE and HERE on the FPL blog describing the many illusions human beings subscribe to about the so-called "aging process."
It's kind of a no-brainer, folks. If you would just think about it - no small feat, I realize, in a frenzied, fear-driven routine that doesn't allow time for reflection - if life doesn't get better and better with the passage of time, there are only two possibilities: either life inherently sucks, and is some kind of insane purgatory, in which case, we should all just get drunk and forget about it, or... you are creating your reality from a set of distorted, erroneous beliefs which if you set about changing, you could realign yourself with the beauty that is the movement through physical life.
In other words, you could be expressing yourself creatively and sexually in peak fashion, you could be offering wisdom and guidance to the generations behind you, and you could be loving your body as a manifestation of the magnificent soul that you truly are. Or... you could take blood pressure medication, indulge yourself with hormone replacement therapy and cosmetic surgery, pop Viagra and invest in a Geezer Scooter.
It really is your choice.
Here's mine!
That's the takeaway from the new book "In Our Prime: The Invention of Middle Age," a cultural history of aging by New York Times culture reporter Patricia Cohen.
The article about the book, listing the "Seven Myths About Middle Age" is definitely worth reading.
Over the years, I have listened to the most absurd things from men and women in middle age about these myths, especially the ones about sexual desire diminishing, about the trials and tribulations of menopause, and about physical deterioration.
My one word answer to those ideas: Nonsense!
You can find many articles HERE and HERE on the FPL blog describing the many illusions human beings subscribe to about the so-called "aging process."
It's kind of a no-brainer, folks. If you would just think about it - no small feat, I realize, in a frenzied, fear-driven routine that doesn't allow time for reflection - if life doesn't get better and better with the passage of time, there are only two possibilities: either life inherently sucks, and is some kind of insane purgatory, in which case, we should all just get drunk and forget about it, or... you are creating your reality from a set of distorted, erroneous beliefs which if you set about changing, you could realign yourself with the beauty that is the movement through physical life.
In other words, you could be expressing yourself creatively and sexually in peak fashion, you could be offering wisdom and guidance to the generations behind you, and you could be loving your body as a manifestation of the magnificent soul that you truly are. Or... you could take blood pressure medication, indulge yourself with hormone replacement therapy and cosmetic surgery, pop Viagra and invest in a Geezer Scooter.
It really is your choice.
TODAY'S QUOTE! (DO THE FRENCH DO PARENTING BETTER?!)
"Being a brilliant parent and a whole person, for ourselves and our children, is what we all aspire to."
Check out the article, "French Parents: Vive La Difference?" HERE
Check out the article, "French Parents: Vive La Difference?" HERE
THE WAVE TAKES ANOTHER ONE!
Joe Paterno has died, merely a matter of months since the child sexual abuse scandal at Penn State broke, a travesty that ultimately got Paterno fired. Not coincidentally, the walls were closing in around Joe just before he was diagnosed with the fatal cancer that took his life.
Almost exactly a year ago, someone I knew personally died suddenly in a similar way. The person in question had been engaged in a series of pyramid schemes and embezzling, and just as the walls were closing in, he had a fatal heart attack.
This is how it's working more and more these days, folks. One way or another, we're all shifting to a new, higher place, and every year for the last three years The Wave of energy has gotten stronger. Witness the hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, etc., and the various economic disasters, as well.
Your surfboard is your self work, by the way, if you want to ride The Wave instead of getting knocked off the planet, it's up to you.
Almost exactly a year ago, someone I knew personally died suddenly in a similar way. The person in question had been engaged in a series of pyramid schemes and embezzling, and just as the walls were closing in, he had a fatal heart attack.
This is how it's working more and more these days, folks. One way or another, we're all shifting to a new, higher place, and every year for the last three years The Wave of energy has gotten stronger. Witness the hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, etc., and the various economic disasters, as well.
Your surfboard is your self work, by the way, if you want to ride The Wave instead of getting knocked off the planet, it's up to you.
"THE POPE AND JOE PATERNO!"
This is something I wrote 2 months ago, shortly after the horrific revelations about the sexual abuse of a child at Penn State surfaced. I thought that republishing it today, right after the death of Paterno, might be a timely reminder of the way things work.
"Not even a lifetime of heroism can make up for leaving a single child alone, abandoned to evil, weeping in the dark."
That was the final line in a column, entitled "The Devil and Joe Paterno," by ROSS DOUTHAT in the NY Times. The conservative columnist tries, rather superficially, to understand how men who do good deeds and good work could also commit heinous acts.
Here's Douthat:
"Bad and mediocre people are tempted to sin by their own habitual weaknesses. The earlier lies or thefts or adulteries make the next one that much easier to contemplate. But good people, heroic people, are led into temptation by their very goodness — by the illusion, common to those who have done important deeds, that they have higher responsibilities than the ordinary run of humankind. It’s precisely in the service to these supposed higher responsibilities that they often let more basic ones slip away."
Sorry, Ross, but that doesn't really explain it, does it?
What does explain it, though, is a deeper knowledge of how the disorder known as "psychopathy" works.
Most people, when they hear the word "psychopath," think of mobsters, hedge fund operators and serial killers. But those criminals, crooks and maniacs are actually "sociopaths." As such, they are only part of a small and extreme subdivision of the "psychopathic character structure."
People with this type of personality are as frequently hailed as heroes as they are villains. How can this be so? Well, it is so because the person stuck in a psychopathic character structure serves his ego above all else and to a degree unlike any other personality type. Consequently, genuine empathy is not present to a normal degree in this person.
Power and control over others is what is sought by the psychopath, and if that comes through doing great good or doing great harm, it is irrelevant to this person in the deeper regions of their psyche. Cop or criminal, priest or politician, Guru or corporate scam artist, they are all roles that attract persons with psychopathy because they are positions that bring high levels of power and control.
While Ross Douthat may think it is easier for those he labels as "bad and mediocre people" to commit common "thefts and adulteries," it is very often the heros and kings that commit the types of crimes that cause devastation and disaster to many.
"Not even a lifetime of heroism can make up for leaving a single child alone, abandoned to evil, weeping in the dark."
That was the final line in a column, entitled "The Devil and Joe Paterno," by ROSS DOUTHAT in the NY Times. The conservative columnist tries, rather superficially, to understand how men who do good deeds and good work could also commit heinous acts.
Here's Douthat:
"Bad and mediocre people are tempted to sin by their own habitual weaknesses. The earlier lies or thefts or adulteries make the next one that much easier to contemplate. But good people, heroic people, are led into temptation by their very goodness — by the illusion, common to those who have done important deeds, that they have higher responsibilities than the ordinary run of humankind. It’s precisely in the service to these supposed higher responsibilities that they often let more basic ones slip away."
Sorry, Ross, but that doesn't really explain it, does it?
What does explain it, though, is a deeper knowledge of how the disorder known as "psychopathy" works.
Most people, when they hear the word "psychopath," think of mobsters, hedge fund operators and serial killers. But those criminals, crooks and maniacs are actually "sociopaths." As such, they are only part of a small and extreme subdivision of the "psychopathic character structure."
People with this type of personality are as frequently hailed as heroes as they are villains. How can this be so? Well, it is so because the person stuck in a psychopathic character structure serves his ego above all else and to a degree unlike any other personality type. Consequently, genuine empathy is not present to a normal degree in this person.
Power and control over others is what is sought by the psychopath, and if that comes through doing great good or doing great harm, it is irrelevant to this person in the deeper regions of their psyche. Cop or criminal, priest or politician, Guru or corporate scam artist, they are all roles that attract persons with psychopathy because they are positions that bring high levels of power and control.
While Ross Douthat may think it is easier for those he labels as "bad and mediocre people" to commit common "thefts and adulteries," it is very often the heros and kings that commit the types of crimes that cause devastation and disaster to many.
HOPE FOR SEX IN 2011!
HERE is a link to a blog piece that gives me hope for the coming year: "The Year in Good Sex: 20 Defining Moments"
STILL MEETING THE BEATLES!
I'm reading my 14-year old's Rolling Stone Magazine special issue on the albums of the Beatles. As a writer and musician/songwriter, one of the things I always found and continue to find so impressive about The Beatles' 213 recorded songs over the unbelievably short 8 years of their career together was that they aspired to create different sounds with every record. They evolved continually, but not just within a genre, but across genres.
Most bands that become successful become known for their one specific signature sound. Not The Beatles. From the garage band sound of their first two albums, on which half of the songs were covers, to the joyful and sweetly harmonized second two of mostly originals, to the mournful, reflective, pot-influenced folk-rock of the next two to the psychedelic boundary-stretching, world-changing monuments during the Summer of Love era to the individual branching out, seperate-but-still-together revolutionary and exquisite final two albums, you couldn't truly keep up with The Beatles. You could only try and follow them, as many fans and bands did.
Embracing change. That is what made The Beatles great, and it is what makes life itself great. And while you're changing, remember:
"Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be."
Most bands that become successful become known for their one specific signature sound. Not The Beatles. From the garage band sound of their first two albums, on which half of the songs were covers, to the joyful and sweetly harmonized second two of mostly originals, to the mournful, reflective, pot-influenced folk-rock of the next two to the psychedelic boundary-stretching, world-changing monuments during the Summer of Love era to the individual branching out, seperate-but-still-together revolutionary and exquisite final two albums, you couldn't truly keep up with The Beatles. You could only try and follow them, as many fans and bands did.
Embracing change. That is what made The Beatles great, and it is what makes life itself great. And while you're changing, remember:
"Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be."
PSYCHOPATHS IN THE OFFICE!
In short blog piece entitled, "THE PSYCHOPATHS IN THE OFFICE," former Nottingham Trent University business professor, Clive R. Boddy, is hot on the trail of one of the crucial social questions in 3D reality:
"Are the people at the helm of our financial institutions corporate psychopaths who lack a conscience, have few emotions and display an inability to have any feelings, sympathy or empathy for other people?"
My answer is two-fold:
1. Are you kidding?!
2. Read my educational piece: "THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE."
Boddy's brief piece links to a fuller article entitled, "Did Psychopaths Take Over Wall Street Asylum?" by William D. Cohan
"Are the people at the helm of our financial institutions corporate psychopaths who lack a conscience, have few emotions and display an inability to have any feelings, sympathy or empathy for other people?"
My answer is two-fold:
1. Are you kidding?!
2. Read my educational piece: "THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE."
Boddy's brief piece links to a fuller article entitled, "Did Psychopaths Take Over Wall Street Asylum?" by William D. Cohan
TODAY'S QUOTE!
"Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Stay dedicated to your creative process, and make the world a better place!
PL
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Stay dedicated to your creative process, and make the world a better place!
PL
REPOST: More on "Why Love When Losing Hurts So Much?"
Just perused a great and important Guide Lecture called: "THE SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE OF RELATIONSHIP."
Certain things can only be accomplished in terms of deep growth, both emotionally and spiritually, in the context of relationship with other human beings, and the more powerful and intimate the relationship, the more the potential for growth.
Here are some excerpts:
"Relationship represents the greatest challenge for the individual. It is only in relationship with others that unresolved problems - the difficulties and conflicts that still exist within the individual human psyche - are affected and activated. Because of this, many individuals withdraw from contact and interaction with others. Sometimes the illusion can be maintained that the problems arise from the other person because one feels disturbance only in the presence of others, and not when by oneself.
"Being alone elicits the inner call for contact. The less that contact is cultivated, the more acute the longing becomes. Contact makes it difficult to maintain for very long the illusion that the inner self is faultless and harmonious. It requires mental aberration to claim repeatedly that others and not the self are the cause when problems arise in relationships. This is why relationship is simultaneously a fulfillment, a challenge, and a gauge to one's inner state. The friction that arises from relating with others can be a sharp instrument for self-recognition. Many aspects of inner problems are never activated when one withdraws from this challenge and sacrifices the fulfillment of intimate contact.
"The resulting illusion of inner peace and unity has even led to the idea that spiritual growth is furthered by isolation. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Intervals of seclusion are necessary for inner concentration and self-confrontation. But these periods should always alternate with contact. The more intimate such contact is, the more it bespeaks of spiritual maturity."
Certain things can only be accomplished in terms of deep growth, both emotionally and spiritually, in the context of relationship with other human beings, and the more powerful and intimate the relationship, the more the potential for growth.
Here are some excerpts:
"Relationship represents the greatest challenge for the individual. It is only in relationship with others that unresolved problems - the difficulties and conflicts that still exist within the individual human psyche - are affected and activated. Because of this, many individuals withdraw from contact and interaction with others. Sometimes the illusion can be maintained that the problems arise from the other person because one feels disturbance only in the presence of others, and not when by oneself.
"Being alone elicits the inner call for contact. The less that contact is cultivated, the more acute the longing becomes. Contact makes it difficult to maintain for very long the illusion that the inner self is faultless and harmonious. It requires mental aberration to claim repeatedly that others and not the self are the cause when problems arise in relationships. This is why relationship is simultaneously a fulfillment, a challenge, and a gauge to one's inner state. The friction that arises from relating with others can be a sharp instrument for self-recognition. Many aspects of inner problems are never activated when one withdraws from this challenge and sacrifices the fulfillment of intimate contact.
"The resulting illusion of inner peace and unity has even led to the idea that spiritual growth is furthered by isolation. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Intervals of seclusion are necessary for inner concentration and self-confrontation. But these periods should always alternate with contact. The more intimate such contact is, the more it bespeaks of spiritual maturity."
"THE DESCENDANTS" AND THE END OF MARRIAGE!
Saw "The Descendants" recently, Very well done movie with a perfectly constrained performance by George Clooney as a neglectful husband/father who finds out that his dying wife was having an affair.
It got me reflecting (again) on the fact that the institution of marriage as we've known it for so many generations is coming to an end. This is a subject that I've written about a lot on this blog (do a search for "marriage" in the upper left box), and recently, I came across a few more articles about this evolving reality.
One piece, entitled "GET READY FOR GROUP MARRIAGE", pointed out that "legal recognition of polyamorous relationships is already well underway." Another was a study that charted the fact that the percentages of marriages that end in divorce are up past 50% now, and the numbers for extramarital affairs are in the same percentage range - for both sexes - as well.
This is good news from one perspective as an "enlightened sociologist," if I may identify myself as such. Institutionalized marriage, that is marriage based on a paradigm of rules and regulations attempting to govern love, Eros and sex, family constellations and cohabitation, has been dysfunctional for a long time now, at least in terms of the well-being of its participants. Perhaps one could argue that it has served the masters of religion, government and capitalistic economies well, but that is about it, and clearly those institutions are falling apart at an accelerated rate in our times.
The not-so-good news is that the shifts away from traditional marriage are not taking place fully in an atmosphere of openness and honesty. Obviously, the notion of an "affair," which is used interchangeably with the label "cheating," implies a degree of lying or hiding the truth from one's partner , which kind of belies the whole concept of partnership, doesn't it? Furthermore, many so-called "open marriages," or polyamorous relationships, are based on a "don't-ask-don't-tell" arrangement. Well, we've seen how great that worked around the issue of gays in the military, right? Right.
So, we're getting there, but we're not there yet.
But where is there?
Well, there is where polyamory is lived out with openness and honestly between all the participants, even when there are feelings of jealousy and insecurities to be dealt with. And there is also a place where what I've called "spontaneous monogamy" can coexist with polyamory in a society.
Spontaneous monogamy appears in a relationship where the love, Eros and sex is vibrating at such a high level that the connection between the two partners is like a laser beam. As such, bringing in other sex partners might feel like a dilution or an interference with the laser. Spontaneous monogamy has no contract or preset lifespan. In fact, the very awareness of its temporary nature is part of its vibrancy. Spontaneously monogamous relationships can last a matter of months or many years, but it's the not knowing that is part of its essential nature.
Nothing is to be judged here, folks, not even dishonesty. It's all about vibration. The more open, the more honest, the more spontaneous any aspect of human life is, the more pleasure, health and harmony. It seems as though we're heading in the right direction, but be mindful that there are no end runs around the truth ultimately.
And remember this: cheating is always cheating yourself.
It got me reflecting (again) on the fact that the institution of marriage as we've known it for so many generations is coming to an end. This is a subject that I've written about a lot on this blog (do a search for "marriage" in the upper left box), and recently, I came across a few more articles about this evolving reality.
One piece, entitled "GET READY FOR GROUP MARRIAGE", pointed out that "legal recognition of polyamorous relationships is already well underway." Another was a study that charted the fact that the percentages of marriages that end in divorce are up past 50% now, and the numbers for extramarital affairs are in the same percentage range - for both sexes - as well.
This is good news from one perspective as an "enlightened sociologist," if I may identify myself as such. Institutionalized marriage, that is marriage based on a paradigm of rules and regulations attempting to govern love, Eros and sex, family constellations and cohabitation, has been dysfunctional for a long time now, at least in terms of the well-being of its participants. Perhaps one could argue that it has served the masters of religion, government and capitalistic economies well, but that is about it, and clearly those institutions are falling apart at an accelerated rate in our times.
The not-so-good news is that the shifts away from traditional marriage are not taking place fully in an atmosphere of openness and honesty. Obviously, the notion of an "affair," which is used interchangeably with the label "cheating," implies a degree of lying or hiding the truth from one's partner , which kind of belies the whole concept of partnership, doesn't it? Furthermore, many so-called "open marriages," or polyamorous relationships, are based on a "don't-ask-don't-tell" arrangement. Well, we've seen how great that worked around the issue of gays in the military, right? Right.
So, we're getting there, but we're not there yet.
But where is there?
Well, there is where polyamory is lived out with openness and honestly between all the participants, even when there are feelings of jealousy and insecurities to be dealt with. And there is also a place where what I've called "spontaneous monogamy" can coexist with polyamory in a society.
Spontaneous monogamy appears in a relationship where the love, Eros and sex is vibrating at such a high level that the connection between the two partners is like a laser beam. As such, bringing in other sex partners might feel like a dilution or an interference with the laser. Spontaneous monogamy has no contract or preset lifespan. In fact, the very awareness of its temporary nature is part of its vibrancy. Spontaneously monogamous relationships can last a matter of months or many years, but it's the not knowing that is part of its essential nature.
Nothing is to be judged here, folks, not even dishonesty. It's all about vibration. The more open, the more honest, the more spontaneous any aspect of human life is, the more pleasure, health and harmony. It seems as though we're heading in the right direction, but be mindful that there are no end runs around the truth ultimately.
And remember this: cheating is always cheating yourself.
REPOST: RIDIN' THAT TRAIN! ORGASM: THE HIGHEST HIGH!
Although many of my counterparts in the 1960's experimented with drugs in their high school or college years, I didn't get around to trying out substance-induced altered states until the late Nineteen-Seventies, when I was already out of college. Late bloomer, I guess.
There were two types of drug-users I'd observed: those who were seeking new or different levels of consciousness and those were seeking to numb or annihilate themselves altogether. Most in the first group went on to various forms of self-work, like meditation or various alternative types of therapy. Many from the second group ended up dead or in and out of rehab.
When I entered therapy in 1980, I knew with an intuitive inner certainty that the highest high I'd experienced with a drug had to somehow be attainable without a drug (and therefore without all the negative side effects). I was determined to find the route to that place.
What followed were intensive courses of psychoanalytic psychotherapy (on the couch twice a week), past-life regression sessions, meditation, channeling work, a variety of body work regimes and mind-body-spirit therapies, and some of the most gut-wrenching (retching!) herbal-nutritional cleanses I could find.
That quest took the better part of the next 20 years, but my search was not in vain.
I can still remember the feeling when love, Eros and sex combined in orgasm and moved through the channels I had opened inside of myself for the first time at such a new level: the bliss, the exquisite pleasure, the soul-quenching rush of energy, and most significantly, that sense that everything was perfectly in harmony in the Universe. It vaguely reminded me of the highest drug high from decades ago, but was way beyond it. This was no artificial free sample; this was the real deal. And no negative side-effects!
Why am I writing about this today? Well, as always, science and medicine are that last to discover the truths about the way life really works, and so it seems that those disciplines have finally caught on to the power of orgasm. In an article in NEW SCIENTIST, entitled, "Sex on the brain: Orgasms Unlock Altered Consciousness," it was recently reported that researchers using MRI technology have discovered that orgasms create an "altered state of consciousness... one not seen, as yet, during any other type of activity."
The highest high! Hello!
"Orgasm is a special case of consciousness," said Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey.
Yep. These researchers even found that cumming is better for pain than aspirin.
"With brain-activation studies of orgasm showing unique patterns of activation in regions implicated in attention, self-awareness and consciousness, researchers believe its study may also help with the control of pain. The orgasm is a strong analgesic."
Ha! Got a headache? Period cramps? Back ache? Don't use those symptoms as an excuse to avoid sex. Go for it. You'll feel better.
Hey, listen folks. Genuine spiritual and healing teachings all make very special mention of the power of sexual energy. I have said on this blog often, citing channeled material from Seth and the Pathwork Lectures and other sources, that the experience of orgasm in sexual union with someone that you are in love with is the closest we human beings can come to experiencing what spiritual existence is actually like while still in physical form.
So, stop reminiscing about that amazing acid trip you took at Burning Man or the last Grateful Dead concert you went to, and do the self-work necessary to blow open your inner channels. Then you'll really be "Ridin' That Train!"
There were two types of drug-users I'd observed: those who were seeking new or different levels of consciousness and those were seeking to numb or annihilate themselves altogether. Most in the first group went on to various forms of self-work, like meditation or various alternative types of therapy. Many from the second group ended up dead or in and out of rehab.
When I entered therapy in 1980, I knew with an intuitive inner certainty that the highest high I'd experienced with a drug had to somehow be attainable without a drug (and therefore without all the negative side effects). I was determined to find the route to that place.
What followed were intensive courses of psychoanalytic psychotherapy (on the couch twice a week), past-life regression sessions, meditation, channeling work, a variety of body work regimes and mind-body-spirit therapies, and some of the most gut-wrenching (retching!) herbal-nutritional cleanses I could find.
That quest took the better part of the next 20 years, but my search was not in vain.
I can still remember the feeling when love, Eros and sex combined in orgasm and moved through the channels I had opened inside of myself for the first time at such a new level: the bliss, the exquisite pleasure, the soul-quenching rush of energy, and most significantly, that sense that everything was perfectly in harmony in the Universe. It vaguely reminded me of the highest drug high from decades ago, but was way beyond it. This was no artificial free sample; this was the real deal. And no negative side-effects!
Why am I writing about this today? Well, as always, science and medicine are that last to discover the truths about the way life really works, and so it seems that those disciplines have finally caught on to the power of orgasm. In an article in NEW SCIENTIST, entitled, "Sex on the brain: Orgasms Unlock Altered Consciousness," it was recently reported that researchers using MRI technology have discovered that orgasms create an "altered state of consciousness... one not seen, as yet, during any other type of activity."
The highest high! Hello!
"Orgasm is a special case of consciousness," said Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey.
Yep. These researchers even found that cumming is better for pain than aspirin.
"With brain-activation studies of orgasm showing unique patterns of activation in regions implicated in attention, self-awareness and consciousness, researchers believe its study may also help with the control of pain. The orgasm is a strong analgesic."
Ha! Got a headache? Period cramps? Back ache? Don't use those symptoms as an excuse to avoid sex. Go for it. You'll feel better.
Hey, listen folks. Genuine spiritual and healing teachings all make very special mention of the power of sexual energy. I have said on this blog often, citing channeled material from Seth and the Pathwork Lectures and other sources, that the experience of orgasm in sexual union with someone that you are in love with is the closest we human beings can come to experiencing what spiritual existence is actually like while still in physical form.
So, stop reminiscing about that amazing acid trip you took at Burning Man or the last Grateful Dead concert you went to, and do the self-work necessary to blow open your inner channels. Then you'll really be "Ridin' That Train!"
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