I've been writing on the FPL blog about the end of traditional marriage and contractual relationships for a couple of years now. (Click HERE for a few posts.)
I wrote this a year or so ago:
"Institutionalized marriage, that is marriage based on a paradigm of rules and regulations attempting to govern love, Eros and sex, family constellations and cohabitation, has been dysfunctional for a long time now, at least in terms of the well-being of its participants. Perhaps one could argue that it has served the masters of religion, government and capitalistic economies well, but that is about it, and clearly those institutions are falling apart at an accelerated rate in our times."
I've also written several posts on the subject of "spontaneous monogamy" and "open marriage."
Well, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of U.S. Census data, barely half of Americans over the age 18 are married. In fact, the number of couples married in 2010 dropped a startling 5 percent from the previous year, and the overall number of married couples has declined by more than 20 percentage points since 1960.
The report showed that Americans are not only getting married less frequently, they're doing so later in life. This is good news, people. The forces of love, Eros and sex are great and they cannot be contained by the constructs of human ego without causing harm ultimately. So, thank you to all of you who are making more enlightened, open-minded choices. We all benefit.
REPOST: MORE ON THE WAVE - PREACHING TO THE CHOIR!
Here's a post I put up a few years ago that came to my attention this morning. It was written shortly after the disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico in July of 2010.
Thought it might be an interesting look back:
"PREACHING TO THE CHOIR IS THE ONLY WAY!"
This is hopefully a relevant post in trying to understanding what the reactions will be, or in some cases won't be, in response to the current disaster caused by the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. It's starting to look like an unprecedented catastrophe, cause by gross criminal negligence, but mark this:
No one will willingly change their actions or opinions as a result of any criticism or outcry at this unmitigated blight on our beautiful earth.
No one. No one ever changes because someone else wants them to. I repeat - no one.
However, that doesn't mean we are all going to suffer and participate in these continuous calamities equally as a result of those who are immovable and recalcitrant. Not at all. It just means that those who are dedicated to evolving their consciousnesses are going to make a quantum shift out of this particular line of reality, leaving behind those who still wish to experience greed and avarice, envy and competitiveness, violence and corruption, those, in other words, who are still practicing and indulging in psychopathy.
Evolution takes place in quick bursts of energy - waves - in which some are swept forward to a new place, and some, those who resist change at all costs, are slammed. I know that sounds cold, but the Universe is actually quite neutral when it comes to our notions of pain and suffering that, ultimately, we choose to experience.
The implication here, of course, is that there are many different lines of reality, parallel realities, as it were, and that at some level, we are all choosing which ones to engage in. This is true. The 2012 that many fear - a time of apocalyptic destruction - will indeed be experienced by those who vibrate energetically at that level with those scenarios, while for others, the shifts of 2012 will be joyful ones, falling in love, awakening to greater levels of expansion and creativity and abundance, discovering the vastness of the universe, etc.
The rest here is from my older post -
Here's something I've learned and witnessed after thirty years of observing people and working with their inner lives:
You can't change anybody.
People spend years, decades even, trying to get another person to transform and - get this - it never works! Never.
I'm a psychotherapist. Theoretically, my job is to help people change their lives, but guess what? If my patients don't really want to change, on their own, for themselves, there's nothing I can do.
And there's nothing you can do.
Your lover might stop drinking or gambling for a while for fear of your leaving, or your parents might admit they weren't perfect in raising you; you might even get your spouse to agree to couples' counseling. But unless the person's motivation to change is personal and separate from you, the results will always be the same - no significant change.
Why is this important to know? Because one of the most insidious causes of pain and paralysis in a person's life is their persistent efforts to try and get a spouse or parent or significant other to change. Therefore, knowing that you are doomed to failure when trying to get someone else to change will ultimately set you free.
And it should be that way.
The hallmark of adulthood is that you get to do whatever you want. You have the free adult will to direct your own course, even if you choose a path of self-destruction. It has to be this way. We can only grow and evolve as individual souls and as a race of beings, by exploring different choices and their consequences.
But why would someone waste themselves trying so hard to get someone else to do what they want them to do? Because that person hasn't yet faced and accepted the painful futility of their childhoods. Someone once said this: "Childhood was a game - and you lost!"
Sounds harsh, but think about it. We are all born completely helpless and dependent - unable to move, to feed ourselves, or to make any sense at all of our surroundings. On top of which, if our parents don't love us enough, we die emotionally and psychologically. Our lives, for the better part of the first dozen years, depend upon the good graces and self-actualization of our parents.
Get it? We're born screwed. (Unless, of course, you were born to a set of healthy, happy, sexually vibrant, emotionally open parents, free from any erroneous beliefs about themselves or life. Please contact me if you had such parents.) And since our survival instinct cannot allow us to accept being screwed, we set about trying to get the parents we are dependent on to become better at their job of loving and rearing us. We try being pleasing and cute, or smart and hard-working; we smile at the right moments, eat our spinach, take piano lessons or gymnastics, anything that might get them to see us positively and be more sensitive to our true needs. If that doesn't work, we try being sad or depressed, acting out in school, eating too much or not eating at all, anything to evoke their sympathy towards us and our desperate plight.
Still doesn't work? We start the process of transference in which we look to another as a parent substitute to come through for us and change for our sake. Problem with that approach is that in this common attempt to resolve our childhood dilemma, we first have to repeat it, set it up again, by choosing a partner who is as narcissistic or oblivious as our parents were. And we're off.
Why wouldn't we just choose someone who is already ready, willing and able to meet our unmet needs from childhood, rather than someone we need to change? Because that person doesn't exist. The game of childhood is already over when you reach adulthood. The ship has sunk. Attempting to reclaim your childhood by getting a parent substitute to come through for you is like watching the movie "Titanic" over and over hoping that if you watch it enough times, one time, the ship will miss the iceberg.
But... here's the good news - yes, there is good news! If you give up on your childhood, if you take the loss, you do get a do-over, but not as a child, as an adult. You can be free to heal yourself, become self-actualized and choose to share yourself with another who is doing the same. You won't feel the need to change the other person; you will instead seek to share with that person your own desire to change and grow. You will, in other words, be preaching to the choir because members of the choir are the only ones who can listen to your experiences with similar understanding. Members of the choir share your desire for growth and change, because of their own internal motivation to do so, and if you have a piece of information about how to do it better, they will receive it gladly. That is how relationships that work - work. That is how therapy works, when it works. The therapist is a mirror and facilitator of what the patient is already intent on seeing and doing.
So, take heart, folks. Life works. Give up what has to be given up, and if you're motivated to do so, change yourself and join the choir.
Thought it might be an interesting look back:
"PREACHING TO THE CHOIR IS THE ONLY WAY!"
This is hopefully a relevant post in trying to understanding what the reactions will be, or in some cases won't be, in response to the current disaster caused by the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. It's starting to look like an unprecedented catastrophe, cause by gross criminal negligence, but mark this:
No one will willingly change their actions or opinions as a result of any criticism or outcry at this unmitigated blight on our beautiful earth.
No one. No one ever changes because someone else wants them to. I repeat - no one.
However, that doesn't mean we are all going to suffer and participate in these continuous calamities equally as a result of those who are immovable and recalcitrant. Not at all. It just means that those who are dedicated to evolving their consciousnesses are going to make a quantum shift out of this particular line of reality, leaving behind those who still wish to experience greed and avarice, envy and competitiveness, violence and corruption, those, in other words, who are still practicing and indulging in psychopathy.
Evolution takes place in quick bursts of energy - waves - in which some are swept forward to a new place, and some, those who resist change at all costs, are slammed. I know that sounds cold, but the Universe is actually quite neutral when it comes to our notions of pain and suffering that, ultimately, we choose to experience.
The implication here, of course, is that there are many different lines of reality, parallel realities, as it were, and that at some level, we are all choosing which ones to engage in. This is true. The 2012 that many fear - a time of apocalyptic destruction - will indeed be experienced by those who vibrate energetically at that level with those scenarios, while for others, the shifts of 2012 will be joyful ones, falling in love, awakening to greater levels of expansion and creativity and abundance, discovering the vastness of the universe, etc.
The rest here is from my older post -
Here's something I've learned and witnessed after thirty years of observing people and working with their inner lives:
You can't change anybody.
People spend years, decades even, trying to get another person to transform and - get this - it never works! Never.
I'm a psychotherapist. Theoretically, my job is to help people change their lives, but guess what? If my patients don't really want to change, on their own, for themselves, there's nothing I can do.
And there's nothing you can do.
Your lover might stop drinking or gambling for a while for fear of your leaving, or your parents might admit they weren't perfect in raising you; you might even get your spouse to agree to couples' counseling. But unless the person's motivation to change is personal and separate from you, the results will always be the same - no significant change.
Why is this important to know? Because one of the most insidious causes of pain and paralysis in a person's life is their persistent efforts to try and get a spouse or parent or significant other to change. Therefore, knowing that you are doomed to failure when trying to get someone else to change will ultimately set you free.
And it should be that way.
The hallmark of adulthood is that you get to do whatever you want. You have the free adult will to direct your own course, even if you choose a path of self-destruction. It has to be this way. We can only grow and evolve as individual souls and as a race of beings, by exploring different choices and their consequences.
But why would someone waste themselves trying so hard to get someone else to do what they want them to do? Because that person hasn't yet faced and accepted the painful futility of their childhoods. Someone once said this: "Childhood was a game - and you lost!"
Sounds harsh, but think about it. We are all born completely helpless and dependent - unable to move, to feed ourselves, or to make any sense at all of our surroundings. On top of which, if our parents don't love us enough, we die emotionally and psychologically. Our lives, for the better part of the first dozen years, depend upon the good graces and self-actualization of our parents.
Get it? We're born screwed. (Unless, of course, you were born to a set of healthy, happy, sexually vibrant, emotionally open parents, free from any erroneous beliefs about themselves or life. Please contact me if you had such parents.) And since our survival instinct cannot allow us to accept being screwed, we set about trying to get the parents we are dependent on to become better at their job of loving and rearing us. We try being pleasing and cute, or smart and hard-working; we smile at the right moments, eat our spinach, take piano lessons or gymnastics, anything that might get them to see us positively and be more sensitive to our true needs. If that doesn't work, we try being sad or depressed, acting out in school, eating too much or not eating at all, anything to evoke their sympathy towards us and our desperate plight.
Still doesn't work? We start the process of transference in which we look to another as a parent substitute to come through for us and change for our sake. Problem with that approach is that in this common attempt to resolve our childhood dilemma, we first have to repeat it, set it up again, by choosing a partner who is as narcissistic or oblivious as our parents were. And we're off.
Why wouldn't we just choose someone who is already ready, willing and able to meet our unmet needs from childhood, rather than someone we need to change? Because that person doesn't exist. The game of childhood is already over when you reach adulthood. The ship has sunk. Attempting to reclaim your childhood by getting a parent substitute to come through for you is like watching the movie "Titanic" over and over hoping that if you watch it enough times, one time, the ship will miss the iceberg.
But... here's the good news - yes, there is good news! If you give up on your childhood, if you take the loss, you do get a do-over, but not as a child, as an adult. You can be free to heal yourself, become self-actualized and choose to share yourself with another who is doing the same. You won't feel the need to change the other person; you will instead seek to share with that person your own desire to change and grow. You will, in other words, be preaching to the choir because members of the choir are the only ones who can listen to your experiences with similar understanding. Members of the choir share your desire for growth and change, because of their own internal motivation to do so, and if you have a piece of information about how to do it better, they will receive it gladly. That is how relationships that work - work. That is how therapy works, when it works. The therapist is a mirror and facilitator of what the patient is already intent on seeing and doing.
So, take heart, folks. Life works. Give up what has to be given up, and if you're motivated to do so, change yourself and join the choir.
"NATA" RESPONDS TO PL'S "PREACHING TO THE CHOIR" POST/PL RESPONDS!
Here's Nata:
"I just love your posts!
As a human being and therapist reading your Blog is a must (for me)...
It re-assures me that in this world there are others, not crushed by Political Correctness and fear.
I might just paraphrase you to my clients, when they ask about what therapy is.
Nata"
Here's PL:
Thank you so much, Nata. This is so not a time for political correctness or fear. I am likewise reassured and pleased to know that you are out there.
All my best,
PL
"I just love your posts!
As a human being and therapist reading your Blog is a must (for me)...
It re-assures me that in this world there are others, not crushed by Political Correctness and fear.
I might just paraphrase you to my clients, when they ask about what therapy is.
Nata"
Here's PL:
Thank you so much, Nata. This is so not a time for political correctness or fear. I am likewise reassured and pleased to know that you are out there.
All my best,
PL
JOHN BRADSHAW STILL SPEAKS TO US!
John Bradshaw, an early influence on my thinking as a therapist, brought us the concept of the "Wounded Inner Child" decades ago. He's still got it.
TODAY'S PARENTING QUOTE!
"The most damaging thing to any child is the unlived lives of their parents."
Carl Jung
Carl Jung
WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO!
5D is taking its toll on our idols, isn't it?
Sports heroes have been accused or found guilty of everything from cheating with performance-enhancing drugs (Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens to name just a few) to murder (NFL star Ray Lewis, and most recently, Oscar "Blade Runner" Pistorius). A war hero General stepped down in a sex-related scandal in 2012 (David Petraeus) and last week a Pope (Benedict XVI) resigned, the first time in over 600 years, amidst the exploding sex-abuse cover up in the Catholic Church.
Yes, indeed, heroes are joining the ranks of the "Whatever happened to..." crowd I've been writing about here on FPL. As I've said recently, if you're reading this, you're in 5D consciousness, but those whom you might know who either decided to stay in a 3rd Dimensional vibration, or who are insisting on operating by 3D rules in 5D, may be fading from your inner circles, maybe even out of your life.
This is happening both individually and collectively, and at a rapidly increasing pace. Not only are our heroes falling from view, but "old school," ego-driven leaders in business, entertainment, politics, etc... are also disappearing (The way they've been imploding in recent times, the entire Republican Party may not even exist by the next presidential election cycle.).
This phenomenon isn't going away, folks, and this is an ego-less dimension we're in. Be humble. Be yourself. You can be great without needing to be.
Oh... and...
SEE YA!!!
Sports heroes have been accused or found guilty of everything from cheating with performance-enhancing drugs (Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens to name just a few) to murder (NFL star Ray Lewis, and most recently, Oscar "Blade Runner" Pistorius). A war hero General stepped down in a sex-related scandal in 2012 (David Petraeus) and last week a Pope (Benedict XVI) resigned, the first time in over 600 years, amidst the exploding sex-abuse cover up in the Catholic Church.
Yes, indeed, heroes are joining the ranks of the "Whatever happened to..." crowd I've been writing about here on FPL. As I've said recently, if you're reading this, you're in 5D consciousness, but those whom you might know who either decided to stay in a 3rd Dimensional vibration, or who are insisting on operating by 3D rules in 5D, may be fading from your inner circles, maybe even out of your life.
This is happening both individually and collectively, and at a rapidly increasing pace. Not only are our heroes falling from view, but "old school," ego-driven leaders in business, entertainment, politics, etc... are also disappearing (The way they've been imploding in recent times, the entire Republican Party may not even exist by the next presidential election cycle.).
This phenomenon isn't going away, folks, and this is an ego-less dimension we're in. Be humble. Be yourself. You can be great without needing to be.
Oh... and...
SEE YA!!!
"HOT MONOGAMOUS SEX ANYONE?!"
That's the subject of a piece that was on the Huffington Post a while ago by Justin Buzzard.
Here's Justin:
"Hollywood leads us to think singles (or married people carrying on affairs) have all the hot sex while married couples have boring sex, or little or no sex. Yes, I've been having sex with one woman, the same woman, for nine years. But, on the other hand, I've been having sex with a different woman each time. A good marriage is dynamic--always changing, a new experience around every corner. A happy marriage involves two dynamic people who are always changing, developing, growing and learning how to better love each other."
I would add, Justin, that specifically, the "changing, developing, growing and learning" needs to be in the area of self-revelation and discovery of the other person. The Pathwork Guide is very eloquent about what keeps Eros alive:
"As long as there is something new to find in the other soul and as long as you reveal yourself, Eros will live. The moment you believe you have found all there is to find, and have revealed all there is to reveal, Eros will leave. It is as simple as that with Eros. But where your great error comes in is that you believe there is a limit to the revealing of any soul, yours or another's. When a certain point of usually quite superficial revelation is reached, you are under the impression that this is all there is, and you settle down to a placid life without further searching."
This is the challenge, folks. Continuing to reveal yourself and continuing to seek greater depths of knowing of a partner requires a determination that is not common, which is why so many people assume that "hot sex" in a long-term monogamous relationship fades away. And mind you, I'm not saying that "contractual monogamy" is a positive thing. "Spontaneous monogamy," however, and a truly "open marriage," can afford a great opportunity for exploring the depths of love, Eros and sex to you, but... as always, it comes down to self-work and self-will, doing the former, letting go of the latter.
Here's Justin:
"Hollywood leads us to think singles (or married people carrying on affairs) have all the hot sex while married couples have boring sex, or little or no sex. Yes, I've been having sex with one woman, the same woman, for nine years. But, on the other hand, I've been having sex with a different woman each time. A good marriage is dynamic--always changing, a new experience around every corner. A happy marriage involves two dynamic people who are always changing, developing, growing and learning how to better love each other."
I would add, Justin, that specifically, the "changing, developing, growing and learning" needs to be in the area of self-revelation and discovery of the other person. The Pathwork Guide is very eloquent about what keeps Eros alive:
"As long as there is something new to find in the other soul and as long as you reveal yourself, Eros will live. The moment you believe you have found all there is to find, and have revealed all there is to reveal, Eros will leave. It is as simple as that with Eros. But where your great error comes in is that you believe there is a limit to the revealing of any soul, yours or another's. When a certain point of usually quite superficial revelation is reached, you are under the impression that this is all there is, and you settle down to a placid life without further searching."
This is the challenge, folks. Continuing to reveal yourself and continuing to seek greater depths of knowing of a partner requires a determination that is not common, which is why so many people assume that "hot sex" in a long-term monogamous relationship fades away. And mind you, I'm not saying that "contractual monogamy" is a positive thing. "Spontaneous monogamy," however, and a truly "open marriage," can afford a great opportunity for exploring the depths of love, Eros and sex to you, but... as always, it comes down to self-work and self-will, doing the former, letting go of the latter.
RAISING YOUR INNER CHILD IS A 24-7 JOB!
Good Morning America reported the story the other day of a mother who turned her back for just a minute on her 16-month-old and BAM! - the toddler swallowed 42 refrigerator magnets! (It was a record for the surgeon who removed the magnets, beating his previous removal record of 20!)
That's the way it is with kids, as any parent who tends to toddlers will tell you. Raising a little child is a 24-7 job of care-taking, monitoring, paying attention, setting boundaries, etc. (By the way, it's not much different babysitting for a puppy, which we are engaged in this weekend. Let yourself get distracted for a moment and your favorite Stegmann slippers that you bought in Santa Fe last year are in shreds.)
Likewise, raising the child within you is no less of an endeavor. Even though that child is no longer physical, and cannot itself go running out into traffic, it can nonetheless cause you to get into a traffic accident if you ignore the tantrum the child inside you is having. I say this to my patients often, and too often, they decide to believe, at their own risk, that I am speaking metaphorically, not literally. Bam! Just broke my favorite wine glass... again!
That wounded and undeveloped part of us that holds the remnants from our actual childhood - the unmet needs, the suppressed rage and sadness, the irrational fears - that part of us needs to be heard, understood, felt and expressed through healing, therapeutic channels in non-destructive expressions until it is matured.
The good news is that if you are dedicated to healing this aspect of yourself, it won't take as along as raising a physical child, and instead of costing you tons of money, raising your inner child will free you up to make tons of money! And enjoy great love, Eros and sex, expansive creative expression, good health and true adulthood. And you don't have to send your inner child to college!
Yeah, it's a hard job, but it's for a finite period of time and the pay-off is worth it, folks. Really.
That's the way it is with kids, as any parent who tends to toddlers will tell you. Raising a little child is a 24-7 job of care-taking, monitoring, paying attention, setting boundaries, etc. (By the way, it's not much different babysitting for a puppy, which we are engaged in this weekend. Let yourself get distracted for a moment and your favorite Stegmann slippers that you bought in Santa Fe last year are in shreds.)Likewise, raising the child within you is no less of an endeavor. Even though that child is no longer physical, and cannot itself go running out into traffic, it can nonetheless cause you to get into a traffic accident if you ignore the tantrum the child inside you is having. I say this to my patients often, and too often, they decide to believe, at their own risk, that I am speaking metaphorically, not literally. Bam! Just broke my favorite wine glass... again!
That wounded and undeveloped part of us that holds the remnants from our actual childhood - the unmet needs, the suppressed rage and sadness, the irrational fears - that part of us needs to be heard, understood, felt and expressed through healing, therapeutic channels in non-destructive expressions until it is matured.
The good news is that if you are dedicated to healing this aspect of yourself, it won't take as along as raising a physical child, and instead of costing you tons of money, raising your inner child will free you up to make tons of money! And enjoy great love, Eros and sex, expansive creative expression, good health and true adulthood. And you don't have to send your inner child to college!
Yeah, it's a hard job, but it's for a finite period of time and the pay-off is worth it, folks. Really.
IT'S NOT NATURAL TO WORK FULL-TIME, ESPECIALLY IN 5D!
That's the title (Well, I added the 5D part.) of a blog post by Ann Brenoff on the Huffington Post. It's kind of a fluffy piece, but nonetheless, the sentiment is there.
"Think about it: More time to be with your family, your friends, take hikes, cook healthier food, sleep more, read more, think more, breath more. There's not a yoga class on the planet that can deliver what a 25-hour work week could."
I'm with you on that, Ann. 25 and out!
Several years ago, I wrote a blog post on FPL (on the same page as my "Joy of Quitting" post) that spun off from a FORTUNE Magazine cover story, entitled: "THE END OF THE JOB." The FORTUNE article was published in 1994. The lead into the Fortune piece started with this:
"As a way of organizing work, it [the job] is a social artifact that has outlived its usefulness. Its demise confronts everyone with unfamiliar risks - and rich opportunities."
That quote came at a time that marked the beginning of many people starting to work as "consultants" and free-lancers, rather than salaried employees, a move that improved the lives of many working professionals and the profits of corporations. That was then, 18 years ago.
But... here's where Ann, just this week, goes off on an old 3D tangent:
"Yes, there would be less money to live on. It becomes a matter of learning to live on less. Fewer meals out. Fewer surfing trips to Hawaii. Community college for our kids...."
Wrong, Ann. At least wrong in 5D.
Working less in 5th Dimensional consciousness doesn't mean creating less or manifesting less. It means that the old energy of "working" - that tiring, stressed-out way of doing what we think we have to do in order to survive or be worthy and valuable in our world of relationships, regardless of whether or not said work gives us joy or not - that consciousness is not the prevailing motivation anymore.
Working less in 5D can and does go hand in hand with prosperity and abundance... if you let it. It does not mean having less money or time or resources for your creative process. Not at all.
In Number 8 of the "TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING" series: "THERE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE TO HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH!", I discussed the "physics" of creating abundance, or anything else for that matter, by directing consciousness. That's the way we've always done it, but now, we're doing it more consciously. It takes practice, but that can be part of the discovery process, and the fun.
Here's an excerpt from Ann Brenoff:
"Think about it: More time to be with your family, your friends, take hikes, cook healthier food, sleep more, read more, think more, breath more. There's not a yoga class on the planet that can deliver what a 25-hour work week could."
I'm with you on that, Ann. 25 and out!
Several years ago, I wrote a blog post on FPL (on the same page as my "Joy of Quitting" post) that spun off from a FORTUNE Magazine cover story, entitled: "THE END OF THE JOB." The FORTUNE article was published in 1994. The lead into the Fortune piece started with this:
"As a way of organizing work, it [the job] is a social artifact that has outlived its usefulness. Its demise confronts everyone with unfamiliar risks - and rich opportunities."
That quote came at a time that marked the beginning of many people starting to work as "consultants" and free-lancers, rather than salaried employees, a move that improved the lives of many working professionals and the profits of corporations. That was then, 18 years ago.
But... here's where Ann, just this week, goes off on an old 3D tangent:
"Yes, there would be less money to live on. It becomes a matter of learning to live on less. Fewer meals out. Fewer surfing trips to Hawaii. Community college for our kids...."
Wrong, Ann. At least wrong in 5D.
Working less in 5th Dimensional consciousness doesn't mean creating less or manifesting less. It means that the old energy of "working" - that tiring, stressed-out way of doing what we think we have to do in order to survive or be worthy and valuable in our world of relationships, regardless of whether or not said work gives us joy or not - that consciousness is not the prevailing motivation anymore.
Working less in 5D can and does go hand in hand with prosperity and abundance... if you let it. It does not mean having less money or time or resources for your creative process. Not at all.
In Number 8 of the "TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING" series: "THERE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE TO HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH!", I discussed the "physics" of creating abundance, or anything else for that matter, by directing consciousness. That's the way we've always done it, but now, we're doing it more consciously. It takes practice, but that can be part of the discovery process, and the fun.
So, work less, create and manifest more, folks. It's not a passive process, just a more directly creative one.
EXPANSION, CONTRACTION, REST!
Had an interesting discussion recently about what Wilhelm Reich called the "three cosmic pulsatory movements": expansion, contraction, rest.
All three movements are present in everyone, and basically in everything that is alive, and ideally, the movements blend harmoniously with each other. Expansion, contraction, rest. Exhale, inhale, pause. The wave rolls in, pauses, then goes out. Look around and you will find the movement everywhere, although each human being is predominantly motivated by one of these pulsatory movements, creating different personality types.
And each pulsation also has a positive and negative expression.
Expansion in its harmonious form is expressed as creativity, growth, a building force, forward movement, outgoingness, generosity, searching for union with that which appears outside of the self, with the "Other" (the other you!). In its negative expression, expansion manifests as aggression, hostility, destructiveness, cruelty, impatience, often leading to quarreling, ultimately in some cases, war.
Contraction in its positive form is assimilation, balance, introspection, inward movement, caution, patience, thoughtfulness, a self-searching, reflective, integrating force. In the negative, contraction manifests as a regressive, backward movement, resistance to progress, selfishness, egocentricity, avarice, separateness.
Rest in its positive aspect is healthy passivity, preservation, gestation, a state of beingness, timelessness, a gathering of momentum before a new growth cycle. Rest is necessary for fruition to take place. In the negative, rest will appear as stagnation, lifelessness, inertia, helplessness.
Again, each of these three pulsatory movements are an equally necessary force in a balanced life. If you cling to one or judge another, you will find yourself out of alignment. If you insisted that only expansion was "good," for example, and judged contraction to be "bad," trying, therefore, to just keep expanding, it would become destructive and you would become ungrounded. People with "type A personalities," and very strong wills who force themselves to stay in expansion mode are in fact, blocking nature, which is why Type A types often end up getting heart attacks as reminders that they're out of alignment.
It's a beautiful day today, folks. Breathe!
All three movements are present in everyone, and basically in everything that is alive, and ideally, the movements blend harmoniously with each other. Expansion, contraction, rest. Exhale, inhale, pause. The wave rolls in, pauses, then goes out. Look around and you will find the movement everywhere, although each human being is predominantly motivated by one of these pulsatory movements, creating different personality types.
And each pulsation also has a positive and negative expression.
Expansion in its harmonious form is expressed as creativity, growth, a building force, forward movement, outgoingness, generosity, searching for union with that which appears outside of the self, with the "Other" (the other you!). In its negative expression, expansion manifests as aggression, hostility, destructiveness, cruelty, impatience, often leading to quarreling, ultimately in some cases, war.
Contraction in its positive form is assimilation, balance, introspection, inward movement, caution, patience, thoughtfulness, a self-searching, reflective, integrating force. In the negative, contraction manifests as a regressive, backward movement, resistance to progress, selfishness, egocentricity, avarice, separateness.
Rest in its positive aspect is healthy passivity, preservation, gestation, a state of beingness, timelessness, a gathering of momentum before a new growth cycle. Rest is necessary for fruition to take place. In the negative, rest will appear as stagnation, lifelessness, inertia, helplessness.
Again, each of these three pulsatory movements are an equally necessary force in a balanced life. If you cling to one or judge another, you will find yourself out of alignment. If you insisted that only expansion was "good," for example, and judged contraction to be "bad," trying, therefore, to just keep expanding, it would become destructive and you would become ungrounded. People with "type A personalities," and very strong wills who force themselves to stay in expansion mode are in fact, blocking nature, which is why Type A types often end up getting heart attacks as reminders that they're out of alignment.
It's a beautiful day today, folks. Breathe!
MEA MAXIMA CULPA!
Wow! Last night I watched the explosive HBO documentary, "MEA MAXIMA CULPA: Silence in the House of God." I was both moved to tears and was left with my jaw hanging open, but not for why you might think.
I have been fully aware for a long time of the cycle of horrendous sexual abuse of children occurring within the confines of the secretive and corrupt Catholic Church, an endemic problem that was first noted by a cleric in the inner circle of the Vatican over 15 centuries ago!
To a newcomer, yes, and to those who have been in denial, the information as documented by the HBO piece will be shocking. But what moved me so much was the 5th Dimensional storyline at work here, one that directly connects to the news yesterday of the first resignation of a Pope in over 600 years!
In Mea Maxima Culpa, Alex Gibney, the Oscar-winning filmmaker, documents a decades-old effort to protect and aid sexually predatory priests, a conspiracy that the film shows, snakes through every level of the Roman Catholic hierarchy including the current and past popes. The narrative is framed by the case of a priest being publicly accused of molestation — Father Lawrence Murphy of Milwaukee's St. John's School for the Deaf. There, we learn through the signed testimonials of four former pupils — Terry Kouhut, Gary Smith, Pat Kuehn and Arthur Budzinski — how the beloved priest systematically raped and abused more than 200 pupils during his unstoppable 24-year tenure.
What hit me like a ton of 5th Dimensional bricks was the idea that a handful of young deaf boys from the mid-west, now middle-aged adults, could take down the hierarchy of the most powerful institution of the Piscean Age, one that has defined male power for over 2,000 years. Four deaf guys versus the Pope and his megalithic Church... and the deaf guys win!
Now that's 5D!
You can watch Mea Maxima Culpa on HBO on Demand now. It's an eye-opener!
I have been fully aware for a long time of the cycle of horrendous sexual abuse of children occurring within the confines of the secretive and corrupt Catholic Church, an endemic problem that was first noted by a cleric in the inner circle of the Vatican over 15 centuries ago!
To a newcomer, yes, and to those who have been in denial, the information as documented by the HBO piece will be shocking. But what moved me so much was the 5th Dimensional storyline at work here, one that directly connects to the news yesterday of the first resignation of a Pope in over 600 years!
In Mea Maxima Culpa, Alex Gibney, the Oscar-winning filmmaker, documents a decades-old effort to protect and aid sexually predatory priests, a conspiracy that the film shows, snakes through every level of the Roman Catholic hierarchy including the current and past popes. The narrative is framed by the case of a priest being publicly accused of molestation — Father Lawrence Murphy of Milwaukee's St. John's School for the Deaf. There, we learn through the signed testimonials of four former pupils — Terry Kouhut, Gary Smith, Pat Kuehn and Arthur Budzinski — how the beloved priest systematically raped and abused more than 200 pupils during his unstoppable 24-year tenure.
What hit me like a ton of 5th Dimensional bricks was the idea that a handful of young deaf boys from the mid-west, now middle-aged adults, could take down the hierarchy of the most powerful institution of the Piscean Age, one that has defined male power for over 2,000 years. Four deaf guys versus the Pope and his megalithic Church... and the deaf guys win!
Now that's 5D!
You can watch Mea Maxima Culpa on HBO on Demand now. It's an eye-opener!
REPOST: "MANIFESTO OF THE IDLE PARENT!"
THIS is one of the most enjoyable articles on parenting I have ever read! It's called: "IDLE PARENTING MEANS HAPPY CHILDREN," by Tom Hodgkinson.
I'm just going to print excerpts and not even comment. Click on the LINK HERE or above to read the whole piece.
All of what follows here is Tom Hodgkinson:
I recall when our eldest child, a victim of chronic over-stimulation by his anxious parents, screamed "I need some entertainment!" during a bored moment. A chilling comment, particularly from a five-year-old. What now? What next? These are the questions our hyper-stimulated kids will ask. What has happened to their own imagination? There is a way out of this over-zealous parenting trap, a simple solution that will make your life easier and cheaper. It will make your kids' lives more enjoyable and also will help to produce happy, self-sufficient children, who can create their own lives without depending on a Mummy substitute. I call it idle parenting and our mantra is: "Leave them alone."
The welcome discovery that a lazy parent is a good parent took root when I read the following passage from a DH Lawrence essay, Education of the People, published in 1918:
"How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning."
To the busy modern parent, this idea seems counter-intuitive. Aren't we always told to do more, not less? All parents have a nagging sense that somehow we are doing it all wrong and that more work needs to be done. But the problem is that we put too much work into parenting, not too little. By interfering a lot, we are not letting children grow up and learn themselves. The child who has been overprotected will not know how to look after himself. We are too much in children's faces. We need to retreat. Let them live.
I love DH Lawrence's idea of childcare. He says babies should "be given to stupid fat old women who can't be bothered with them… leave the children alone. Pitch them out into the streets or the playgrounds, and take no notice of them." Do not view them as raw material to be moulded into an obedient slave for the workplace of the future. Let them play. And yes, get your friends around. Life is so much easier when the work is shared. Friends bring laughter and joy. There's no sadder sight than the lone parent, pushing her child around the gloomy municipal park, trying to tell herself that she is having a good time.
My idea of childcare is a large field. At one side is a marquee serving local ales. This is where the parents gather. On the other side, somewhere in the distance, the children play. I don't bother them and they don't bother me. I give them as much freedom as possible.
MANIFESTO OF THE IDLE PARENT
We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work;
We pledge to leave our children alone;
That should mean that they leave us alone, too;
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born;
We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals;
We drink alcohol without guilt;
We reject the inner Puritan;
We fill the house with music and laughter;
We don't waste money on family days out and holidays;
We lie in bed for as long as possible;
We try not to interfere;
We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house;
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small;
Time is more important than money;
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness;
Down with school;
We fill the house with music and merriment!
I'm just going to print excerpts and not even comment. Click on the LINK HERE or above to read the whole piece.
All of what follows here is Tom Hodgkinson:
I recall when our eldest child, a victim of chronic over-stimulation by his anxious parents, screamed "I need some entertainment!" during a bored moment. A chilling comment, particularly from a five-year-old. What now? What next? These are the questions our hyper-stimulated kids will ask. What has happened to their own imagination? There is a way out of this over-zealous parenting trap, a simple solution that will make your life easier and cheaper. It will make your kids' lives more enjoyable and also will help to produce happy, self-sufficient children, who can create their own lives without depending on a Mummy substitute. I call it idle parenting and our mantra is: "Leave them alone."
The welcome discovery that a lazy parent is a good parent took root when I read the following passage from a DH Lawrence essay, Education of the People, published in 1918:
"How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning."
To the busy modern parent, this idea seems counter-intuitive. Aren't we always told to do more, not less? All parents have a nagging sense that somehow we are doing it all wrong and that more work needs to be done. But the problem is that we put too much work into parenting, not too little. By interfering a lot, we are not letting children grow up and learn themselves. The child who has been overprotected will not know how to look after himself. We are too much in children's faces. We need to retreat. Let them live.
I love DH Lawrence's idea of childcare. He says babies should "be given to stupid fat old women who can't be bothered with them… leave the children alone. Pitch them out into the streets or the playgrounds, and take no notice of them." Do not view them as raw material to be moulded into an obedient slave for the workplace of the future. Let them play. And yes, get your friends around. Life is so much easier when the work is shared. Friends bring laughter and joy. There's no sadder sight than the lone parent, pushing her child around the gloomy municipal park, trying to tell herself that she is having a good time.
My idea of childcare is a large field. At one side is a marquee serving local ales. This is where the parents gather. On the other side, somewhere in the distance, the children play. I don't bother them and they don't bother me. I give them as much freedom as possible.
MANIFESTO OF THE IDLE PARENT
We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work;
We pledge to leave our children alone;
That should mean that they leave us alone, too;
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born;
We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals;
We drink alcohol without guilt;
We reject the inner Puritan;
We fill the house with music and laughter;
We don't waste money on family days out and holidays;
We lie in bed for as long as possible;
We try not to interfere;
We push them into the garden and shut the door so that we can clean the house;
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small;
Time is more important than money;
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness;
Down with school;
We fill the house with music and merriment!
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...THE POPE?!
You got that right. No one is immune to the vortex of energy we've been identifying as 5th Dimensional consciousness, not even the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, Benedict XVI, who announced his resignation today, the first time a sitting pope has stepped down in almost 600 years! (Benedict, of course, was mired in the scandals of the Church covering up decades of sex abuse of parishioners, including children.)
I've been writing about the "Whatever happened to..." phenomenon for a while now, taking note of the unusually high number of people not only leaving the planet via the death experience (a record last year), but also those disappearing from our personal and collective realities by more or less receding into obscurity.
You can read some related posts HERE.
Meanwhile, all we can say as we keep shifting is...
SEE YA!
I've been writing about the "Whatever happened to..." phenomenon for a while now, taking note of the unusually high number of people not only leaving the planet via the death experience (a record last year), but also those disappearing from our personal and collective realities by more or less receding into obscurity.
You can read some related posts HERE.
Meanwhile, all we can say as we keep shifting is...
SEE YA!
TODAY'S PARENTING QUOTE!
“You keep giving Aderall to my son, you’re going to kill him.”
(Read the full article HERE: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/
(Read the full article HERE: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/
JUDGE CRASHES HELICOPTER (PARENTS)!
I gotta post this excerpt from a news item entitled: "College Student Wins Restraining Order Against Helicopter Parents!"
I mean it just made me, as a crusader of sorts in the battle to get enmeshed parents to let go of their children, this made me smile.
"Sometimes parents just don't know when to let go, but it's rare when a judge needs to intervene.That was the case for Aubrey Ireland, a 21-year-old music theater major at College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati. She convinced a judge to grant her a restraining order against her parents, David and Julie Ireland. According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, Ireland told the court that despite making the dean's list, her parents would routinely drive 600 miles from Kansas to Ohio to make unannounced visits to her at school. Then they accused her of illegal drug use, promiscuity and mental illness.
I mean it just made me, as a crusader of sorts in the battle to get enmeshed parents to let go of their children, this made me smile.
"Sometimes parents just don't know when to let go, but it's rare when a judge needs to intervene.That was the case for Aubrey Ireland, a 21-year-old music theater major at College-Conservatory of Music at the University of Cincinnati. She convinced a judge to grant her a restraining order against her parents, David and Julie Ireland. According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, Ireland told the court that despite making the dean's list, her parents would routinely drive 600 miles from Kansas to Ohio to make unannounced visits to her at school. Then they accused her of illegal drug use, promiscuity and mental illness.
Her parents allegedly became so overbearing that they installed keylogging software on her computer and cell phone to keep track of her every move."
"She told the court, 'I was a dog with a collar on."
"According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, the school hired security guards to keep them out of their daughter's performances in school productions. When she cut off all contact with them, her parents responded by stopping payment on tuition checks."
"Both the school and the court have sided with Aubrey. The University of Cincinnati gave her a full scholarship for her senior year, and the judge issued a civil stalking order against her parents, ordering them to stay at least 500 feet away from her and have no contact with her until September 2013."
HOW'S YOUR 5D EXPERIENCE GOING? PART THREE!
So, what kind of time have you been having so far in 5D? How have you been spending your time?
Well, if you're operating according to 5D principles, you are finding that you have an abundance of time and you are spending it liberally. In other words, time is no longer being experienced as something you can "run out of," "not have enough of" or have to "race against," as if it were an adversary. 5th Dimensionally speaking, time is more like a river you are swimming in, or a climate you inhabit, now. And much more than ever before, time is something you can "manipulate," meaning give yourself more of, slow down or speed up, stretch or shrink at will.
We've all had experiences with "bending" time. We say things like "time flies when you're having fun," for example, not quite realizing that it is in fact true that time moves faster when we are in a place of higher excitement. When we're in a creative "zone" or experiencing Eros, we'll "lose track of time," or experience "timelessness." Again, this is an actual reflection of our ability to "warp" time when we are vibrating at a higher frequency. Conversely, when engaged in an activity that is of a lower vibration, something that bores us or aggravates us, time slows down and "takes forever."
How 5D is different (see my previous post: "IT'S 2013! WHICH EARTH ARE YOU ON?!") is that can more readily manipulate time with conscious intention. We can now do what we've always been able to do unconsciously by directly invoking the 5D principles, in this case, #3: "Time isn't really real." To be more precise, of course, it's linear time that isn't so real any longer, that "one thing follows another in a certain rigid sequence" kind of time. Now, we can, with deliberateness, go from A to Z without having to go through the whole alphabet. We can still have a "process," that "going somewhere/having a journey" experience, but we can kind of skip the parts that don't intrigue us now.
Well, if you're operating according to 5D principles, you are finding that you have an abundance of time and you are spending it liberally. In other words, time is no longer being experienced as something you can "run out of," "not have enough of" or have to "race against," as if it were an adversary. 5th Dimensionally speaking, time is more like a river you are swimming in, or a climate you inhabit, now. And much more than ever before, time is something you can "manipulate," meaning give yourself more of, slow down or speed up, stretch or shrink at will.
We've all had experiences with "bending" time. We say things like "time flies when you're having fun," for example, not quite realizing that it is in fact true that time moves faster when we are in a place of higher excitement. When we're in a creative "zone" or experiencing Eros, we'll "lose track of time," or experience "timelessness." Again, this is an actual reflection of our ability to "warp" time when we are vibrating at a higher frequency. Conversely, when engaged in an activity that is of a lower vibration, something that bores us or aggravates us, time slows down and "takes forever."
How 5D is different (see my previous post: "IT'S 2013! WHICH EARTH ARE YOU ON?!") is that can more readily manipulate time with conscious intention. We can now do what we've always been able to do unconsciously by directly invoking the 5D principles, in this case, #3: "Time isn't really real." To be more precise, of course, it's linear time that isn't so real any longer, that "one thing follows another in a certain rigid sequence" kind of time. Now, we can, with deliberateness, go from A to Z without having to go through the whole alphabet. We can still have a "process," that "going somewhere/having a journey" experience, but we can kind of skip the parts that don't intrigue us now.
I'll remind you again, folks, if you're reading this, you are in 5D. But... you may still be operating according to 3D rules, which puts you out of alignment with your actual vibrational reality and out of alignment with the collective reality you've chosen to participate in. So, your self-work now has to include not just clearing your emotional body of the effects of your old 3D beliefs and your ideas of your past, but very importantly, your self-work now must include practicing - regularly - the 5D principles for creating reality and the new rules of existence. Until these become fully integrated in your daily life and you achieve a comfortable clarity with the new reality, you will need to focus and invoke 5D consciousness... consciously. Clear yourself of extraneous thoughts and exaggerated feelings, breath deeply and simply say this when you wish to do a little time bending:
"I now shift to a line of reality where..."
You can do it... if you choose to.
More to come...
"I now shift to a line of reality where..."
You can do it... if you choose to.
More to come...
NATURE VERSUS NURTURE? BREAST SQUEEZING CAN PREVENT CANCER!
A little squeeze may be all that it takes to prevent malignant breast cells triggering cancer, new research has shown. Laboratory experiments showed that applying physical pressure to the cells guided them back to a normal growth pattern.
Think about that.
The findings, presented Monday, Dec. 17 at the annual meeting of the American Society for Cell Biology in San Francisco, "show for the first time that mechanical forces alone can revert and stop the out-of-control growth of cancer cells. This change happens even though the genetic mutations responsible for malignancy remain, setting up a nature-versus-nurture battle in determining a cell’s fate. We are showing that tissue organization is sensitive to mechanical inputs from the environment at the beginning stages of growth and development,” said principal investigator Daniel Fletcher, professor of bioengineering at Berkeley and faculty scientist at the Berkeley Lab. “An early signal, in the form of compression, appears to get these malignant cells back on the right track.”
I love it when medical science finally catches up to something and calls it the "first time" it's being shown. Anyway... don't underestimate the power of touch, folks, especially loving touch. When with a loved one, friend, family member, etc., trust your inner guidance, follow your hands. They may be leading you not just to a place that feels good, but to a spot that needs healing. Squeeze away!
PSYCHOPATHIC KIDS THAT KILL DON'T HAVE "DECENT" PARENTS!
I wrote the piece below 3 1/2 years ago. Thought it would be a relevant addition to our understanding of the events in Sandy Hook this past week. Some have asked me to post something about the 3D nature/nurture connection in the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre. This link also has several FPL posts on the subject of parents and their connection to their children's disturbances. At the 3D level, there is always a cause and effect relationship between parents' unactualized disorders and the disturbances found in their children.
We do come into each lifetime with certain predispositions, yes, including genes, to move us in the direction of a particular life task/seed plan that at the soul level, we have chosen to enact. This is so, and would seem, in a sense, to exonerate parents from the heinous things they do to switch on the genes, to bring forth the predispositions in children who do heinous things.
Indeed. At the levels of consciousness higher than 3D, there is no blame to go around, no guilt, no punishment, but... there also are no psychological disturbances, no crimes, no suppressed, distorted emotions, no erroneous beliefs or paranoid fears. But to arrive to that place, that vibration, we need to clear up all denial at the lower levels. So, here's something on that:
PSYCHOPATHIC KIDS THAT KILL DON'T HAVE "DECENT" PARENTS!
This is a very important story, by Jesse Kornbluth, about a very important book, COLUMBINE, by Dave Cullen.
Kornbluth, in his article asks the question, "Do you know who your children are?" Spinning off the conclusions in the book about the two boys who went on the infamous killing spree in a Colorado school in 1999, finally, after ten years, it is coming into some level of mainstream consciousness that these two murderous boys were not ever "normal" kids. They were deeply disturbed psychopaths, overlooked by an educational system and a society that places little value on regularly keeping tabs on the mental and emotional health of its children.
I wrote about this issue respectively in 1998 and 1999, in letters that were published in the New York Times. Those letters landed me on Barry Farber's nationally syndicated radio program. Mr. Farber featured me on the show because he seemed to think that it was a radical idea that these killer kids were not normal, but discernibly ill. Farber suggested I should be on a presidential commission for my unique insight!
How sad, I thought, that recognizing severe emotional and psychological problems in our kids would be considered so uniquely brilliant. But of course, that goes hand in hand with the narcissism I write about all the time (just do a search for the word on the FPL blog).
Parents, teacher, doctors, society at large, all want to see in their kids what they want to see, and when they don't, they want biology or nature to be the problem not parenting. (Take a look at the flack I got on this blog for suggesting any parenting connection to autism.)
Here's Kornbluth:
"No writer has scored an interview with either set of parents, so we cannot really know how they were unaware of their kids sneaking out at night and buying guns and writing about killing in their journals. The opening line of Eric's? 'I hate the fucking world.' It wasn't as if there was any murkiness about his feelings. Dylan? He just 'craved death.' Getting him to go along with the massacre plan wasn't a career effort for Eric."
Parents are always part of the problem, folks.
Always!
We do come into each lifetime with certain predispositions, yes, including genes, to move us in the direction of a particular life task/seed plan that at the soul level, we have chosen to enact. This is so, and would seem, in a sense, to exonerate parents from the heinous things they do to switch on the genes, to bring forth the predispositions in children who do heinous things.
Indeed. At the levels of consciousness higher than 3D, there is no blame to go around, no guilt, no punishment, but... there also are no psychological disturbances, no crimes, no suppressed, distorted emotions, no erroneous beliefs or paranoid fears. But to arrive to that place, that vibration, we need to clear up all denial at the lower levels. So, here's something on that:
PSYCHOPATHIC KIDS THAT KILL DON'T HAVE "DECENT" PARENTS!
This is a very important story, by Jesse Kornbluth, about a very important book, COLUMBINE, by Dave Cullen.
Kornbluth, in his article asks the question, "Do you know who your children are?" Spinning off the conclusions in the book about the two boys who went on the infamous killing spree in a Colorado school in 1999, finally, after ten years, it is coming into some level of mainstream consciousness that these two murderous boys were not ever "normal" kids. They were deeply disturbed psychopaths, overlooked by an educational system and a society that places little value on regularly keeping tabs on the mental and emotional health of its children.
I wrote about this issue respectively in 1998 and 1999, in letters that were published in the New York Times. Those letters landed me on Barry Farber's nationally syndicated radio program. Mr. Farber featured me on the show because he seemed to think that it was a radical idea that these killer kids were not normal, but discernibly ill. Farber suggested I should be on a presidential commission for my unique insight!
How sad, I thought, that recognizing severe emotional and psychological problems in our kids would be considered so uniquely brilliant. But of course, that goes hand in hand with the narcissism I write about all the time (just do a search for the word on the FPL blog).
Parents, teacher, doctors, society at large, all want to see in their kids what they want to see, and when they don't, they want biology or nature to be the problem not parenting. (Take a look at the flack I got on this blog for suggesting any parenting connection to autism.)
Here's Kornbluth:
"No writer has scored an interview with either set of parents, so we cannot really know how they were unaware of their kids sneaking out at night and buying guns and writing about killing in their journals. The opening line of Eric's? 'I hate the fucking world.' It wasn't as if there was any murkiness about his feelings. Dylan? He just 'craved death.' Getting him to go along with the massacre plan wasn't a career effort for Eric."
Parents are always part of the problem, folks.
Always!
TODAY'S PARENTING QUOTE!
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you."
Kahlil Gibran
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you."
Kahlil Gibran
R.I.P. ED KOCH!
Ed Koch became mayor of NYC the same year - 1978 - that I first moved to Manhattan, and he remained mayor until 1989. For me, those were the City Rock years, the beginning of my career as a social worker and psychotherapist. For the first five of those years, I was a single young man living in a cold-water flat with a bathtub in the kitchen and a toilet in a water closet in the hall of the building on the Lower East Side. I don't make any claims about New York City in the Eighties, or of Koch as a mayor, other than that he was a memorable character who loved to ask: "How'm'I doin'?". Guess he wasn't ready for 5D, though. Bye Mr. Mayor!
HOW'S YOUR 5D EXPERIENCE GOING?
Are you noticing the incidents of serendipity, coincidence, deja vu increasing? Are certain things just seeming to fall into place in easy or unexpected ways? Have opportunities for money or love made their appearance? Or are you experiencing an upsurge of certain physical and emotional symptoms or conflicts, constrictions in finances or sexual expression, or disturbed sleeping patterns, weight gain and restlessness?
All of the above?
Well... welcome to 5D!
Now, don't misunderstand. The days of good or bad, right or wrong, this or that, etc., are gone. We are now out of dualism, so it's this and that, now, and it's all good. But you've got to get used to the new "operating system" you installed during the last month, the download of energy and information many of you have been preparing to receive by doing several years of determined self-work.
The "new rules" of 5D, outlined in my recent post, "Which Earth are you on?", are now in effect:
- Murphy's Law is officially reversed
- Creating your reality from your emotions and your ego is obsolete
- Time isn't really real
- The past is no longer prologue
The learning process for applying those principles is what we are immersed in right now, but take heart, it will be a short and accelerated education. And while there will be residual resistance to the shift in consciousness, the processes of moving through those resistances will be relatively short-lived, especially if you don't judge the resistance.
Regarding the first new principle - "Murphy's Law is officially reversed" (i.e. - Whatever can go right will go right... if you let it) - you might wonder what would possibly be the resistance to that? Everything going right, going your way, your highest excitement and preferences coming to fruition readily and consistently? Come on, PL. Bring it on!
Well, check it out - the main things we all found exciting about 3D consciousness for thousands of years were the ideas that there were obstacles to overcome, barriers to break through, adversaries to thwart, wars to survive, battles to win, etc. Just look at our movies, TV shows, literature... and our history, as we think of it. The hero's journey was always about battling something or someone, resolving conflict, striving against all odds, resisting oppression.
Well, now, that limitation has been lifted with the rise to 5D consciousness. There is no need any longer to maintain your warrior identity, or to wield your emotional and mental swords and shields that you once believed protected and defined you. You're free. The war is over. But... the acceptance of peace and harmony and prosperity without conflict and strife and stress means letting go of what once constituted excitement, and even moreso, letting go of who you once thought you were.
Indeed, you may wonder what will be the source of excitement in this obstacle-free dimension? Many have been asking this question since the beginning of 2013. What will be the impetus for each day, for awakening in the morning, if there is no battle to win? What will be the challenge?
Take a breath and see if you can get it.
Got it? No?
Well, here it is...
CREATION!
That's right. Creation. That's what will be exciting about every day, creating whatever it is that your soul desires to create through you. Might be a screenplay, might be a meal, might be a painting, might be a love-making experience, might be a sunny day or a parking spot in front of your house. You see, in higher vibrational dimensions, creating is the never-ending expression of All That Is, without the 3D experience of obstacles and barriers. Not that there is anything wrong with obstacles, but been there/done that for a long time. Long time! We're on the other side, now. It's an open field. Really!
So, instead of waking up in the morning and preparing for battle by asking yourself what you have to do (i.e. - overcome) that day to feel accomplished or satisfied or safe, you will simply ask yourself and keep asking yourself: "What do I desire to create now? What do I desire to create now? And now? And now?" And rest assured, you will not be bored, folks.
More to come on the 5D experience. Enjoy your creations!
All of the above?
Well... welcome to 5D!
Now, don't misunderstand. The days of good or bad, right or wrong, this or that, etc., are gone. We are now out of dualism, so it's this and that, now, and it's all good. But you've got to get used to the new "operating system" you installed during the last month, the download of energy and information many of you have been preparing to receive by doing several years of determined self-work.
The "new rules" of 5D, outlined in my recent post, "Which Earth are you on?", are now in effect:
- Murphy's Law is officially reversed
- Creating your reality from your emotions and your ego is obsolete
- Time isn't really real
- The past is no longer prologue
The learning process for applying those principles is what we are immersed in right now, but take heart, it will be a short and accelerated education. And while there will be residual resistance to the shift in consciousness, the processes of moving through those resistances will be relatively short-lived, especially if you don't judge the resistance.
Regarding the first new principle - "Murphy's Law is officially reversed" (i.e. - Whatever can go right will go right... if you let it) - you might wonder what would possibly be the resistance to that? Everything going right, going your way, your highest excitement and preferences coming to fruition readily and consistently? Come on, PL. Bring it on!
Well, check it out - the main things we all found exciting about 3D consciousness for thousands of years were the ideas that there were obstacles to overcome, barriers to break through, adversaries to thwart, wars to survive, battles to win, etc. Just look at our movies, TV shows, literature... and our history, as we think of it. The hero's journey was always about battling something or someone, resolving conflict, striving against all odds, resisting oppression.
Well, now, that limitation has been lifted with the rise to 5D consciousness. There is no need any longer to maintain your warrior identity, or to wield your emotional and mental swords and shields that you once believed protected and defined you. You're free. The war is over. But... the acceptance of peace and harmony and prosperity without conflict and strife and stress means letting go of what once constituted excitement, and even moreso, letting go of who you once thought you were.
Indeed, you may wonder what will be the source of excitement in this obstacle-free dimension? Many have been asking this question since the beginning of 2013. What will be the impetus for each day, for awakening in the morning, if there is no battle to win? What will be the challenge?
Take a breath and see if you can get it.
Got it? No?
Well, here it is...
CREATION!
That's right. Creation. That's what will be exciting about every day, creating whatever it is that your soul desires to create through you. Might be a screenplay, might be a meal, might be a painting, might be a love-making experience, might be a sunny day or a parking spot in front of your house. You see, in higher vibrational dimensions, creating is the never-ending expression of All That Is, without the 3D experience of obstacles and barriers. Not that there is anything wrong with obstacles, but been there/done that for a long time. Long time! We're on the other side, now. It's an open field. Really!
So, instead of waking up in the morning and preparing for battle by asking yourself what you have to do (i.e. - overcome) that day to feel accomplished or satisfied or safe, you will simply ask yourself and keep asking yourself: "What do I desire to create now? What do I desire to create now? And now? And now?" And rest assured, you will not be bored, folks.
More to come on the 5D experience. Enjoy your creations!
GRUMPY OLD MEN?! NOT!
There was an article today on the Huffington Post entitled:
"Why the Older You Are, the Happier You Get!"
As a self-actualizing person moves through the years, he or she becomes more open and vibrant in their body than at 20, 30 or 40 years old, belief it or not, and in addition, one gains more wisdom, more confidence, and the growing ability to make decisions with greater ease and less second guessing than when younger. Now, personally, I know that I clearly no longer have a shot at playing shortstop for the Yankees in this lifetime, but this is not a "decline." This is growth, and specifically, growth towards spirit. As we progress in our lives, assuming we are not fighting our process tooth and nail, we are designed to be absorbing more and more of our soul's energy into our bodies, which can mean less and less actual flesh. But the more soul force in your body, the more powerful you become, not the weaker, though your priorities may surely change. Playing shortstop... or having babies, for instance, focusing intensely on the physical, is part of the early phase of experiencing being human. Depths of passion, pleasure, understanding and wisdom is part of the latter phase.
To call these changes in priority a decline is a negative judgment, supported by 3D society and its nefarious medical and pharmaceutical industry.
Secondly, and this is a greatly misunderstood issue - it is not age, but TIME that catches up to us in the second half of a lifetime.
It's not that nature intended for us to fall apart physically and mentally later in life, nor is it that the odds somehow make us more susceptible to the assaults of a capricious universe with the passage of time. It's simply this: after years and years of suppressing feelings and emotions, keeping beliefs and "forbidden" thoughts out of consciousness, directing hostility towards ourselves and accumulating toxins along the way without doing any cleansing work - emotionally, mentally or physically - the body and mind give out, as any matter-bound creation would. As any neglected or abused machine would.
If your eyesight is going, ask yourself how much time you spent not wanting to "see" certain things throughout your life. If you have high blood pressure, take a look at how much anger you've suppressed and how much laughter and great, loving sex you've had by comparison. If your skeletal system is bent out of shape, you've also probably been "bent out of shape" emotionally for decades. On and on. And most destructive of all, when you come to experience these cumulative effects of your self-abuse and neglect, how do you handle it? Therapy? Meditation? Cleansing your body? Or have you relied on drugs, numbing activities, denial and distraction? If your answers are the latter, how absurd that you would then feel victimized by an unfair and random universe when you end up with cancer or Alzheimer's.
I know this is radical in the face of a lifetime of hypnotic suggestions to the contrary, folks, but human beings are designed to improve with age, and life is meant to get better and better with the passage of time. You can find this out. You can heal. You can repair a lot of the damage if you want to, and the rest can just be your unique scars, serving only as reminders of your experiences, not as deterrents to happiness. Laughter, love, pleasure - these are the only "drugs" you really need, the real medicine worth taking.
Enjoy!
"Why the Older You Are, the Happier You Get!"
Here's an excerpt:
"Grumpy old men, and women, are not grumpy whatsoever -- contrary to popular myth. In fact, this truth remains the most contrarian of all research on happiness, and is still the most evidence-based. In a brilliant study published in 2010 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Arthur Stone and colleagues interviewed over 340,000 people in the United States by telephone to ask about how happy they were. What the researchers found surprised them. Levels of stress and anger decline progressively and significantly after people pass through their early 20s."
Here's something I wrote for FPL a while ago about the misconceptions about the aging process, called "DECLINING WITH AGE? NO, WITH TIME!":
Many believe that aging is a declining conveyor belt that we're all on.
The deterioration that we think occurs "naturally" and inevitably with aging is, in fact, an erroneous belief, a negative judgment."Grumpy old men, and women, are not grumpy whatsoever -- contrary to popular myth. In fact, this truth remains the most contrarian of all research on happiness, and is still the most evidence-based. In a brilliant study published in 2010 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Arthur Stone and colleagues interviewed over 340,000 people in the United States by telephone to ask about how happy they were. What the researchers found surprised them. Levels of stress and anger decline progressively and significantly after people pass through their early 20s."
Here's something I wrote for FPL a while ago about the misconceptions about the aging process, called "DECLINING WITH AGE? NO, WITH TIME!":
Many believe that aging is a declining conveyor belt that we're all on.
As a self-actualizing person moves through the years, he or she becomes more open and vibrant in their body than at 20, 30 or 40 years old, belief it or not, and in addition, one gains more wisdom, more confidence, and the growing ability to make decisions with greater ease and less second guessing than when younger. Now, personally, I know that I clearly no longer have a shot at playing shortstop for the Yankees in this lifetime, but this is not a "decline." This is growth, and specifically, growth towards spirit. As we progress in our lives, assuming we are not fighting our process tooth and nail, we are designed to be absorbing more and more of our soul's energy into our bodies, which can mean less and less actual flesh. But the more soul force in your body, the more powerful you become, not the weaker, though your priorities may surely change. Playing shortstop... or having babies, for instance, focusing intensely on the physical, is part of the early phase of experiencing being human. Depths of passion, pleasure, understanding and wisdom is part of the latter phase.
To call these changes in priority a decline is a negative judgment, supported by 3D society and its nefarious medical and pharmaceutical industry.
Secondly, and this is a greatly misunderstood issue - it is not age, but TIME that catches up to us in the second half of a lifetime.
It's not that nature intended for us to fall apart physically and mentally later in life, nor is it that the odds somehow make us more susceptible to the assaults of a capricious universe with the passage of time. It's simply this: after years and years of suppressing feelings and emotions, keeping beliefs and "forbidden" thoughts out of consciousness, directing hostility towards ourselves and accumulating toxins along the way without doing any cleansing work - emotionally, mentally or physically - the body and mind give out, as any matter-bound creation would. As any neglected or abused machine would.
If your eyesight is going, ask yourself how much time you spent not wanting to "see" certain things throughout your life. If you have high blood pressure, take a look at how much anger you've suppressed and how much laughter and great, loving sex you've had by comparison. If your skeletal system is bent out of shape, you've also probably been "bent out of shape" emotionally for decades. On and on. And most destructive of all, when you come to experience these cumulative effects of your self-abuse and neglect, how do you handle it? Therapy? Meditation? Cleansing your body? Or have you relied on drugs, numbing activities, denial and distraction? If your answers are the latter, how absurd that you would then feel victimized by an unfair and random universe when you end up with cancer or Alzheimer's.
I know this is radical in the face of a lifetime of hypnotic suggestions to the contrary, folks, but human beings are designed to improve with age, and life is meant to get better and better with the passage of time. You can find this out. You can heal. You can repair a lot of the damage if you want to, and the rest can just be your unique scars, serving only as reminders of your experiences, not as deterrents to happiness. Laughter, love, pleasure - these are the only "drugs" you really need, the real medicine worth taking.
Enjoy!
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