"Inherent in man are evolutionary constructive forces, which urge him to realize his given potentialities, that man by his very nature and of his own accord, strives toward self-realization, and that his values evolve from such striving. With such a belief in an autonomous striving toward self-realization, we do not need an inner straight jacket with which to shackle our spontaneity, nor the whip of inner dictates to drive us to perfection."
(Karen Horney)
MORE ON MORE AND LESS IN 5D! (HINT: BAD FOOD!)
I've been posting regularly about what there is less of or more of in 5D. Well, here's the latest headline: "McDonalds Facing its Final Days!"
Yep. For the first time in 40 years, the fast food franchise will be shrinking, closing 700 "underperforming" locations.
That's right. I reported last week that according to the U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Survey, in 2014, 47.6 percent of women between age 15 and 44 had never had children. Almost 50% of all women in their childbearing years are childless.
Less kids in 5D! And now, less crappy "food" for those fewer kids to poison themselves with!
Okay, so let's recap...
There are less murders, and in fact, less deaths from all kinds of violence worldwide, indeed fewer human-to-human killings than ever before. But... there are actually more deaths overall than ever before, yes, more people leaving Planet Earth, including record numbers from natural disasters, than ever before.
There are less bankers, and fewer cigarette smokers, but apparently there is still high quality beer in 5D. The U.S. abortion rate is at its lowest point since 1973, when abortion first became legal, and this drop occurred in spite of and before conservative states' attempts to legislate anti-abortion restrictions.
There is apparently no need for progressive talk radio in 5D, no need for cancer treatment, and no need for extreme fighting as entertainment anymore. Nor is there any support for drugging children given the false diagnosis of "ADHD." But... there are more child prodigies (see HERE, HERE and HERE).
And now, there are less kids! (And by default, less mothers!)
Believe it or not, I could go on listing many more of the collective manifestations of the quantum shift we're making to 5th dimensional consciousness, folks, but especially important is that many FPL readers can now share the miracles happening in their own personal lives. They are many.
We're waking up from an incredible dream, and stepping into another even more amazing one! Beautiful, isn't it?
Oh... and did I mention that in 5D there will be no more shoe rubber or yoga mats in Subway sandwiches?!
Yep. For the first time in 40 years, the fast food franchise will be shrinking, closing 700 "underperforming" locations.
That's right. I reported last week that according to the U.S. Census Bureau's Current Population Survey, in 2014, 47.6 percent of women between age 15 and 44 had never had children. Almost 50% of all women in their childbearing years are childless.
Less kids in 5D! And now, less crappy "food" for those fewer kids to poison themselves with!
Okay, so let's recap...
There are less murders, and in fact, less deaths from all kinds of violence worldwide, indeed fewer human-to-human killings than ever before. But... there are actually more deaths overall than ever before, yes, more people leaving Planet Earth, including record numbers from natural disasters, than ever before.
There are less bankers, and fewer cigarette smokers, but apparently there is still high quality beer in 5D. The U.S. abortion rate is at its lowest point since 1973, when abortion first became legal, and this drop occurred in spite of and before conservative states' attempts to legislate anti-abortion restrictions.
There is apparently no need for progressive talk radio in 5D, no need for cancer treatment, and no need for extreme fighting as entertainment anymore. Nor is there any support for drugging children given the false diagnosis of "ADHD." But... there are more child prodigies (see HERE, HERE and HERE).
And now, there are less kids! (And by default, less mothers!)
Believe it or not, I could go on listing many more of the collective manifestations of the quantum shift we're making to 5th dimensional consciousness, folks, but especially important is that many FPL readers can now share the miracles happening in their own personal lives. They are many.
We're waking up from an incredible dream, and stepping into another even more amazing one! Beautiful, isn't it?
Oh... and did I mention that in 5D there will be no more shoe rubber or yoga mats in Subway sandwiches?!
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
Here's something I've said often to patients in my therapy practice:
"There's nothing wrong with you, except for the fact that you think there's something wrong with you."
Put another way, I've distinguished psychotic people from neurotic people like this:
"A psychotic person is crazy. A neurotic person thinks he is." (See the definition of "crazy" below.*)
Okay, what's my point here?
Well, many people who are sincerely engaged in a process of "self-work" have adopted an attitude and approach to it that basically amounts to trying to fix themselves. (Two pieces on the origins of this attitude this can be found in the FPL "Truth About Everything, Part Two: ALL LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL" and in the Pathwork Guide Lecture: "COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS.") But there is a basic assumption in that approach to the self that is misguided.
You see, we don't need to fix ourselves, but rather, we need to become ourselves more fully. Even more accurately, we need to uncover ourselves. Like a caterpillar, our defensive character structures are the temporary cocoons within which we transform into adult, self-actualized versions of ourselves, like butterflies. Important to remember, though, is that we are not our cocoons, or our character structures. We are, instead, inside of them for a while, until it is the right time to dismantle them, and fly. That dismantling is a more apt way of describing an organic process of self-work that is aligned with our evolution.
This is one of my favorite quotes from famed psychoanalyst, Karen Horney, on what she calls the "tyranny of the 'shoulds":
"Inherent in man are evolutionary constructive forces, which urge him to realize his given potentialities, that man by his very nature and of his own accord, strives toward self-realization, and that his values evolve from such striving. With such a belief in an autonomous striving toward self-realization, we do not need an inner straight jacket with which to shackle our spontaneity, nor the whip of inner dictates to drive us to perfection."
"There's nothing wrong with you, except for the fact that you think there's something wrong with you."
Put another way, I've distinguished psychotic people from neurotic people like this:
"A psychotic person is crazy. A neurotic person thinks he is." (See the definition of "crazy" below.*)
Okay, what's my point here?
Well, many people who are sincerely engaged in a process of "self-work" have adopted an attitude and approach to it that basically amounts to trying to fix themselves. (Two pieces on the origins of this attitude this can be found in the FPL "Truth About Everything, Part Two: ALL LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL" and in the Pathwork Guide Lecture: "COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS.") But there is a basic assumption in that approach to the self that is misguided.
You see, we don't need to fix ourselves, but rather, we need to become ourselves more fully. Even more accurately, we need to uncover ourselves. Like a caterpillar, our defensive character structures are the temporary cocoons within which we transform into adult, self-actualized versions of ourselves, like butterflies. Important to remember, though, is that we are not our cocoons, or our character structures. We are, instead, inside of them for a while, until it is the right time to dismantle them, and fly. That dismantling is a more apt way of describing an organic process of self-work that is aligned with our evolution.
This is one of my favorite quotes from famed psychoanalyst, Karen Horney, on what she calls the "tyranny of the 'shoulds":
"Inherent in man are evolutionary constructive forces, which urge him to realize his given potentialities, that man by his very nature and of his own accord, strives toward self-realization, and that his values evolve from such striving. With such a belief in an autonomous striving toward self-realization, we do not need an inner straight jacket with which to shackle our spontaneity, nor the whip of inner dictates to drive us to perfection."
[See also FPL's "THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING, PART SEVEN: THERE IS NO ORIGINAL SIN!" and the description of "Full Permission Living" on the left hand side of this blog]
Hey!
Hey!
There is nothing wrong with you!
Get it?
For many reasons, stemming from past experiences of pain and suffering, and because we have egos that can question the validity of who we inherently are, we have come to believe in our "character defects" and "symptoms," to identify with them even, and to believe in the judgments we impose on ourselves to support those negative beliefs.
So, folks, stop trying to fix yourselves, and open up to being yourselves.
And listen to THIS!
*On being psychotic - continuing the caterpillar analogy, a psychotic person can be thought of as someone who has not grounded themselves in physical reality - i.e. - in the space/time continuum - enough to function here. Consequently, that person imagines themselves to already be the butterfly before the actual process of evolution has occurred, so they are out of synch with time and space, and therefore, to those of us who are grounded and living in the illusion of physical reality, they appear crazy.
Hmm...
Hmm...
PSYCHOPATHS LOVE BLACK COFFEE! YEAH AND...?!
Okay... here's the headline: People Who Order Coffee Black Are More Likely To Be Psychopaths
A just-in-time-for-Halloween study published in the journal Appetite revealed that people who like their coffee black are more likely to demonstrate psychopathic character traits. The study also notes that participants who reported a fondness for other bitter foods like radishes, celery and tonic water were also more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.
Now before you jump to any conclusions, remember that psychopathy is a character structure, and like all character structures (there are typically understood to be five), each one rises from a Higher Self.
You can read the full description of the Psychopathic Character Structure HERE. Below are the Higher Self aspects of said character.
Here then are the...
HIGHER SELF ASPECTS OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE
- Great leadership and executive qualities and capacities to bring people with differences together in a harmonious effort;
- Strong abilities to guide and inspire others to accomplish their chosen tasks in life and see their own specialness without competitiveness or separation;
- True innovators and adventurers able to travel “the road not taken”, or “to boldly go where no one has gone before”, without recklessness or excess;
- A genuine seeker of truth, with genuine humility, honesty, loyalty and unwavering integrity;
- A truly big heart full of love and fearlessness to surrender to the flow of feelings, life and the Higher Self.
Full disclosure - I just had bitter greens, radishes and scallions for lunch, and I'm about to enjoy a delicious double shot of espresso. Black, of course.
A just-in-time-for-Halloween study published in the journal Appetite revealed that people who like their coffee black are more likely to demonstrate psychopathic character traits. The study also notes that participants who reported a fondness for other bitter foods like radishes, celery and tonic water were also more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.
Now before you jump to any conclusions, remember that psychopathy is a character structure, and like all character structures (there are typically understood to be five), each one rises from a Higher Self.
You can read the full description of the Psychopathic Character Structure HERE. Below are the Higher Self aspects of said character.
Here then are the...
HIGHER SELF ASPECTS OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE
- Great leadership and executive qualities and capacities to bring people with differences together in a harmonious effort;
- Strong abilities to guide and inspire others to accomplish their chosen tasks in life and see their own specialness without competitiveness or separation;
- True innovators and adventurers able to travel “the road not taken”, or “to boldly go where no one has gone before”, without recklessness or excess;
- A genuine seeker of truth, with genuine humility, honesty, loyalty and unwavering integrity;
- A truly big heart full of love and fearlessness to surrender to the flow of feelings, life and the Higher Self.
Full disclosure - I just had bitter greens, radishes and scallions for lunch, and I'm about to enjoy a delicious double shot of espresso. Black, of course.
What?
HAPPY 75TH BIRTHDAY JOHN LENNON!
John Lennon Tribute by sycicWALRUS from the CITY ROCK promotional video: "The Project" - Watch the video HERE.
TODAY'S "ONENESS" QUOTE!
"Regardless of how jaded you are or how broken by life's blows, The Dreamer remains untouched. And reconnecting with that rarefied spark of your own Divine essence is the key element in restructuring the life you are preparing to transform. Before the Artist can begin to emerge from the radiant core of your being and give expression to the unique creation that is to be your life, you must first find and liberate The Dreamer from the prison of your linear consciousness.
Before you can become clear within yourself as to what you want to do with your life, it is essential that you pause in your program of frenzied activity to discover who you really are. Then and only then have you prepared the conditions in which The Artist can emerge and give expression to your true essence, in a way that will provide a life that is rich and satisfying in all the ways you quietly yearn for."
("Oneness," by Rasha)
Before you can become clear within yourself as to what you want to do with your life, it is essential that you pause in your program of frenzied activity to discover who you really are. Then and only then have you prepared the conditions in which The Artist can emerge and give expression to your true essence, in a way that will provide a life that is rich and satisfying in all the ways you quietly yearn for."
("Oneness," by Rasha)
TODAY'S "ONENESS" QUOTE!
Okay, this is a system buster. See if you can really wrap your mind around this one.
"Your manifestation therefore might be a physical condition that persists despite every conceivable effort you can make in physical terms to thwart it. The fact is, this condition does not exist at all. You merely have persisted in telling yourself it does. And the more mental and verbal reinforcement you add to the equation, the stronger the foundation you have constructed to sustain it."
"Your manifestation therefore might be a physical condition that persists despite every conceivable effort you can make in physical terms to thwart it. The fact is, this condition does not exist at all. You merely have persisted in telling yourself it does. And the more mental and verbal reinforcement you add to the equation, the stronger the foundation you have constructed to sustain it."
FLASH UPDATE: JOHN BOEHNER IN 5D?!
Here's the headline: Amid Departure, John Boehner Promises To Avoid Government Shutdown: The House speaker says he'll also "clean the barn up a little bit" in his final month.
Whoa!
TODAY'S BOEHNER-POPE QUOTE!
John Boehner and the Pope found themselves alone during a visit on Thursday, something Boehner, a devout Catholic, had sought since taking the helm of the GOP caucus.
Said Boehner:
"The Pope puts his arm around me and kind of pulls me to him and says 'Please pray for me.' Who am I to pray for the Pope? But I did," said Boehner, struggling to hold back tears.
Said Boehner:
"The Pope puts his arm around me and kind of pulls me to him and says 'Please pray for me.' Who am I to pray for the Pope? But I did," said Boehner, struggling to hold back tears.
5D POPE STRIKES AGAIN!
As I often say to people in therapy, always follow the sequence of events to understand the connection and cause and effect of events. So,
this was yesterday...
this was yesterday...
And this is today...
JOHN BOEHNER RESIGNS FROM CONGRESS!
Is that a 5D pope, or what?!
TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN... AND SLOWS WHEN YOU'RE NOT!
Have you ever been in "The Zone," a moment of creative expression or performance of some sort in which time seems to fly by without you paying attention to it in the "usual" way? Conversely, have you ever been in an accident of some kind or experienced a trauma in which time seemed to move in slow motion?
An interesting report on NPR recently explained the phenomenon in terms of brain functioning. According to neuroscientist David Eagleman, a Baylor College of Medicine professor, "The brain records more sensory information in traumatic experiences. Time isn't slowing down, but the hyper-memory makes it seem like it is by processing and storing all this additional information."
But is that it? Is that all there is to it?
Einstein once said this about the apparent movement of time: "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."
Many people would assume that Einstein's joke was simply about perception, but what if in fact the amount of time there is in any given moment is relative? What if we actually are, through our state of consciousness, slowing down or speeding up time, or put another way, changing the amount of time there is?
Here's "Seth," being channeled by Jane Roberts: "As I have said many times, time as you think of it does not exist. The fact is that all ‘time’ is simultaneous. Events are not things that happen to you. They are materialized experiences formed by you, according to your expectations and beliefs.”
In other words, time is a construct of the human mind, a framework within which we experience things in a linear sequence for the sake of having that experience, but it is not the true nature of the greater reality in which we exist.
Okay, how many readers have I lost at this point? And anyway, why is this information useful?
Well, so many of us feel trapped or pressured by time, or the notion of it. Clocks are always ticking in our brains, measuring how much time we have, or don't have, for various activities and experiences, and that creates a lot of stress, which in turn creates many negative consequences in our lives. But if time isn't really "real," and if its movement is literally relative, flexible, malleable, then time can become a tool rather than a tormentor.
Think about it. If we become able to understand and use time in this way, we can choose to "spend" more or less of it according to our desires and preferences without worrying about it running out, or dragging on. We can create more time to do the things we love to do, and "use up" less time doing things we don't prefer to do. People have asked me how I am able to work as a therapist, write movie and TV scripts, and this blog, be in a love relationship, while raising two kids and acting as landlord of my building, and still have time to meditate, make home cooked meals, walk in the park and watch the Yankees. My answer is always the same - when you're not spending any time worrying or obsessing about how much time you have, there is an endless amount of it. Because it's all relative.
Think about it.
Okay, time to go back to bed... Happy Sunday everyone!
An interesting report on NPR recently explained the phenomenon in terms of brain functioning. According to neuroscientist David Eagleman, a Baylor College of Medicine professor, "The brain records more sensory information in traumatic experiences. Time isn't slowing down, but the hyper-memory makes it seem like it is by processing and storing all this additional information."
But is that it? Is that all there is to it?
Einstein once said this about the apparent movement of time: "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."
Many people would assume that Einstein's joke was simply about perception, but what if in fact the amount of time there is in any given moment is relative? What if we actually are, through our state of consciousness, slowing down or speeding up time, or put another way, changing the amount of time there is?
Here's "Seth," being channeled by Jane Roberts: "As I have said many times, time as you think of it does not exist. The fact is that all ‘time’ is simultaneous. Events are not things that happen to you. They are materialized experiences formed by you, according to your expectations and beliefs.”
In other words, time is a construct of the human mind, a framework within which we experience things in a linear sequence for the sake of having that experience, but it is not the true nature of the greater reality in which we exist.
Okay, how many readers have I lost at this point? And anyway, why is this information useful?
Well, so many of us feel trapped or pressured by time, or the notion of it. Clocks are always ticking in our brains, measuring how much time we have, or don't have, for various activities and experiences, and that creates a lot of stress, which in turn creates many negative consequences in our lives. But if time isn't really "real," and if its movement is literally relative, flexible, malleable, then time can become a tool rather than a tormentor.
Think about it. If we become able to understand and use time in this way, we can choose to "spend" more or less of it according to our desires and preferences without worrying about it running out, or dragging on. We can create more time to do the things we love to do, and "use up" less time doing things we don't prefer to do. People have asked me how I am able to work as a therapist, write movie and TV scripts, and this blog, be in a love relationship, while raising two kids and acting as landlord of my building, and still have time to meditate, make home cooked meals, walk in the park and watch the Yankees. My answer is always the same - when you're not spending any time worrying or obsessing about how much time you have, there is an endless amount of it. Because it's all relative.
Think about it.
Okay, time to go back to bed... Happy Sunday everyone!
MORE ON "THE RIVER IS TAKING YOU!" (THE END OF THERAPY AS WE KNEW IT?!)
This is from a post entitled, "CHANGE CAN BE EFFORTLESS," on the Higher Frequencies website of Wendy Kennedy:
"Many of you currently repeat to yourselves, 'I can’t. No matter what I do, things never change. I don’t know how. I know these higher spiritual concepts, but it’s hard for me!' Well, the truth of it is that it can be easy. It can be effortless, but you cling to the old stories of self. Sometimes out of the fear of safety and self preservation. Sometimes out of acceptance or rather the fear of not being accepted. Sometimes you cling to the old so you may maintain the illusion of control. The universe is like a vast and flowing river. You have the choice to effortlessly flow with it or frantically try to cling to the shore."
This is from the recent FPL post entitled, "GIVE THANKS! THE RIVER IS TAKING YOU, WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT!":
"One can exercise free will as a human being by swimming against the current, struggling, fighting, ultimately exhausting oneself, or one can turn around, and go with the flow, having a much smoother and faster time of it on this trip called physical life... The key point I've made, however, is that someone on the bank of the river would see that whether you're swimming against the current or going with the flow, either way, you're being taken downstream to your destination, which is self-actualization and awakening to the truth of your oneness with All That Is."
Well, there's a really revolutionary aspect to this, now, folks. Right now, right here, as we draw 2014 to its amazing conclusion, the river is roaring! The power of the current, the literal energetic rapids thrusting us forward into full 5D consciousness, is rapidly altering the process... of process!
Here's more from the Higher Frequencies piece:
"It is not for you to have to mentally solve every single 'issue' you have but rather for you to more consciously and consistently align your vibration. For in truth, no issue is ever solved at the level of the ego, a.k.a the operating system of the mind. Integration happens from the higher level of consciousness or the operating system of the heart. Because of your engrained belief that the ego is in control, most of you will not fully release a lower thought or emotion until you are capable of mentally perceiving it. As you align your beliefs with the awareness that you are a Divine Being of Light having a physical experience, the conscious awareness of a subconscious belief is no longer required. It is simply a matter of maintenance of vibrational alignment. In truth this awareness never was, but as you identified with your egoic self you added a step in the integration process that said, 'I must figure this out.”
"Many of you currently repeat to yourselves, 'I can’t. No matter what I do, things never change. I don’t know how. I know these higher spiritual concepts, but it’s hard for me!' Well, the truth of it is that it can be easy. It can be effortless, but you cling to the old stories of self. Sometimes out of the fear of safety and self preservation. Sometimes out of acceptance or rather the fear of not being accepted. Sometimes you cling to the old so you may maintain the illusion of control. The universe is like a vast and flowing river. You have the choice to effortlessly flow with it or frantically try to cling to the shore."
This is from the recent FPL post entitled, "GIVE THANKS! THE RIVER IS TAKING YOU, WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT!":
"One can exercise free will as a human being by swimming against the current, struggling, fighting, ultimately exhausting oneself, or one can turn around, and go with the flow, having a much smoother and faster time of it on this trip called physical life... The key point I've made, however, is that someone on the bank of the river would see that whether you're swimming against the current or going with the flow, either way, you're being taken downstream to your destination, which is self-actualization and awakening to the truth of your oneness with All That Is."
Well, there's a really revolutionary aspect to this, now, folks. Right now, right here, as we draw 2014 to its amazing conclusion, the river is roaring! The power of the current, the literal energetic rapids thrusting us forward into full 5D consciousness, is rapidly altering the process... of process!
Here's more from the Higher Frequencies piece:
"It is not for you to have to mentally solve every single 'issue' you have but rather for you to more consciously and consistently align your vibration. For in truth, no issue is ever solved at the level of the ego, a.k.a the operating system of the mind. Integration happens from the higher level of consciousness or the operating system of the heart. Because of your engrained belief that the ego is in control, most of you will not fully release a lower thought or emotion until you are capable of mentally perceiving it. As you align your beliefs with the awareness that you are a Divine Being of Light having a physical experience, the conscious awareness of a subconscious belief is no longer required. It is simply a matter of maintenance of vibrational alignment. In truth this awareness never was, but as you identified with your egoic self you added a step in the integration process that said, 'I must figure this out.”
Whoa! Now, I've been a therapist in a variety of modalities for over 30 years, and consider myself to be operating pretty far out of any traditional box. But no matter what the approach I employed or experimented with, one thing I always accepted as truth was that the "the conscious awareness of a subconscious belief" absolutely was a requirement for self-actualization.
But I have to admit, I have found myself more and more, especially over the last two years, skipping steps. And it's not because I've become jaded or lazy, but because I have to keep up with my patients who are moving through their evolution at warp speed! The younger ones especially are doing in 2 years or less what took us First Wavers 10 to 20 years! (Take heart, though, 50-somethings, you're moving at warp speed, too, now. You did the job you signed up for, cutting a swath through the jungles of 3D for the First Wave, the under-30-somethings, and now you're serving the coffee to them as they wake up. Many thanks!)
More on Effortless Change:
"What is the frequency you would like to experience? Joy, gratitude, infinite abundance, connection, acceptance, ease, grace, peace? When you work with the ego, you tend to think about creating a specific form to experience one of those frequencies and usually only in one area of your life. One of the benefits of working [directly] with frequency rather than focusing on form is that the universe assists you in receiving the frequency in multiple forms and typically by expeditious means. Too much of your energy is focused on the masculine 'doing' state and not enough on the feminine 'being' state. I will be _____ when I _____. I will BE something after I DO something else. In higher dimensional existence where there is no time, both [what you desire and what manifests in your life] are simultaneous expressions."
And a bit more:
"As it has been more socially acceptable to be mental rather than emotional, some of you may find this a bit challenging. But as we said, you do know at the subconscious level exactly what the frequency [of joy, gratitude, abundance...] is. It may simply take some practice to identify what that actually feels like in the body. For others, you believe accessing these frequencies will be too painful so you refuse to allow yourselves to open. In your past you have experienced strong negative emotions and as a result have closed down access to all emotion. Your belief is that if you start to feel you will unearth all the pain that has been suppressed. Sometimes you may momentarily experience those frequencies, but it is the pathway to integration and the release of pain. Pain is perception, and you may choose to experience it for thirty seconds or thirty years [Or 38 years!]. It is up to you. If you choose to perceive an experience through the lens of victim/perpetrator then you will experience pain. If you choose to perceive it through that of co-creator, you are able to release any pain and observe the experience from a neutral space."
"As it has been more socially acceptable to be mental rather than emotional, some of you may find this a bit challenging. But as we said, you do know at the subconscious level exactly what the frequency [of joy, gratitude, abundance...] is. It may simply take some practice to identify what that actually feels like in the body. For others, you believe accessing these frequencies will be too painful so you refuse to allow yourselves to open. In your past you have experienced strong negative emotions and as a result have closed down access to all emotion. Your belief is that if you start to feel you will unearth all the pain that has been suppressed. Sometimes you may momentarily experience those frequencies, but it is the pathway to integration and the release of pain. Pain is perception, and you may choose to experience it for thirty seconds or thirty years [Or 38 years!]. It is up to you. If you choose to perceive an experience through the lens of victim/perpetrator then you will experience pain. If you choose to perceive it through that of co-creator, you are able to release any pain and observe the experience from a neutral space."
Okay, so practically speaking, what does this mean in terms of self-work? It means that the proportion of time spent excavating the past from our memory banks and bodies needs to be matched and ultimately surpassed by the time spent practicing, through meditation and focused intention, giving ourselves access to our Higher Selves and Universal consciousness. It means being willing to change, to give up our previous sense of self, our identities, our attachments to linear time and physical limitation, to conflict and obstacles, etc., and leaping into the greater, vast unknown where everything is possible and manifestation is instant.
Are you ready?! If you think not, remember, you're going anyway, so you can only choose to make it more difficult.
If you think you are ready, then remember the Zen proverb:
If you think you are ready, then remember the Zen proverb:
"You should meditate 20 minutes every day, unless you are too busy, in which case, you should meditate an hour each day."
NO SMOKING IN 5D!
The U.S. Smoking Rate Just Hit A Historic Low
That was the headline this morning.
“This result is absolutely exciting and maybe even astonishing,” Kenneth Warner, a professor of health policy and management at the University of Michigan, told The Huffington Post.
Well, Professor, it's not "astonishing" if you've been following this blog. I've been taking note of things that are decreasing, disappearing, or conversely, making comebacks since the shift to 5D began well over a year ago. As I wrote recently, per the book, "The Blue Zones," by Dan Buettner, beans, booze, naps and sex are in, but per the statistics, violent crimes, bankers, ADHD, talk radio, and now, cigarettes, are out.
Cheers!
but...
TODAY'S "IT'S WHAT YOU CAME HERE TO DO" QUOTE !
"There is a new paradigm awakening, and we invite you to
share in this magnificent shift! Here’s the invitation – rewrite the program of
what you’re used to. The old energy is dying. It’s not going to shift into
anything else; it’s simply going away and replacing itself with new energy
commensurate with your creative abilities.
You are going to have help. Instead
of pushing against old energy, the wind will be at your back. The things that
you try will work, if you drop the paradigm of expectation of failure. Start
expecting success where for years you have not been able to accomplish what you
desire, when following the passion in developing certain programs, writing the
books, etc. You don’t know where the funding is going to come from; you don’t
know who’s going to see it; you don’t know how to do it. So what?! Why don’t
you call upon this energy that will create co-creation and synchronicity for
you? Because you are intending it, you’re sending a signal, now, to places you
don’t even know exist on this planet, in this energy, to work right with you
and push it forward.
You’re going to start having cooperation in places that
you need it. You’ll think you’re having a supreme lucky streak, but that’s old
energy talk for creating synchronicity. And what are these things that you can
create? It varies.
What did you come here for?
Make your affirmations “I am”
not “I want.” Look for change that is on your side, and push on doors you
thought were closed forever, and don’t be surprised if there’s someone on the
other side, unseen, opening the door as you push on it. If you push on
something and it resists, stop pushing, but don’t stop pushing forever. Push on
it again tomorrow, or next week, to see if the energy has changed. Wait for the
door to come open.
It will.
("Kryon")
THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING, PART NINE: NOBODY NEEDS YOU!
Oh, this is a big one. This will ruffle the feathers of a lot of people who strive to be saints, do-gooders and long-suffering mates. Yes, many human beings have dedicated themselves to the illusion that by doing for others, you will get for yourself, that self-sacrifice leads to future rewards, that meeting the needs of others makes you deserving of having your needs met, because putting yourself second is what makes a good person good.
Wrong.
Nobody needs you. Nobody.
Well, okay, now that I've delivered the shock treatment, let's qualify that. No adult needs you. It is true that in strictly physical terms, your children - in early childhood only - need you for nourishment, shelter, emotional support, love and guidance. Fair enough. But after that, nobody needs you!
So, get over it and let's explore the truth about this.
As I said, in linear, physical reality, children are pretty much born utterly helpless and dependent. In order to survive and thrive during the first 5 to 7 years of life, a child must receive everything of physical and emotional sustenance from the environment, mainly the parents and/or other significant caretaking others in our current paradigm (Problems with that paradigm were discussed in Part 4 of this series: "PARENTS ARE THE LEAST QUALIFIED OF ALL ADULTS TO RAISE CHILDREN!").
I refer to this need in the young child to be "filled up" by its parents as being on the "tank system."
As the child evolves through the developmental stages of late childhood, adolescence and on into young adulthood, the need to receive is steadily replaced by the need to "give," what Erik Erikson called "generativity." Adults, in other words, get filled up by giving, what I refer to as the "channel system."
The more an adult gives, the more filled up he or she feels, the more he or she receives. For an adult, giving and receiving a like inhaling and exhaling. One leads inexorably to the other
Now - very important - let's clarify what is meant by "giving" in adulthood. It is not doing "good deeds" or acting out of "self-sacrifice" or through so-called altruistic behaviors. An adult human being gives, genuinely, by expressing, by creating, by outputting from a place of passion, desire and personal highest excitement. To act from any other place means acting from a mask, from the child self's ego, and that means that the so-called giving is actually a covert attempt to get something (i.e. - an unmet need from childhood, which ironically, is something an adult actually doesn't need anymore, as I've indicated.)
So, simply put, except for children, nobody needs you to do or be anything that isn't for and from your highest place of personal fulfillment. (See the intro description of Full Permission Living). And even children, by the way, only truly get nourished emotionally if your giving to them is coming from a self-actualized place of joy.
Now, onto the spiritual, higher dimensional understanding of why nobody needs you.
One of the basic, higher truths about everything, which I mentioned in the introduction to the first installment of this series, is that we are all one. What that means, among other things, is that we are all of the same singular "body" of consciousness and energy, and that every "individual" is actually a mirrored reflection of an aspect of ourselves and of All That Is. Separateness, therefore, is an idea, a construct, an illusion if you will. Individuality is an experiment in consciousness by the consciousness of All That Is to experience the idea of separation.
It is only by thoroughly believing in this idea of separation, and by forgetting temporarily the true nature of existence, that we could possibly believe that any one person might "need" another. In other words, one would have to conclude that a particular individual is not connected directly to the source energy of All That Is, and therefore needs us to step in where All That Is is falling short, quite a remarkable arrogance, wouldn't you say? But that's been part of the 3D game, which is now coming to an end, which is why we're talking about this!
So, let it go, folks. Take a deep breath and realize that you are free, free from obligation, free from sacrifice, free from denial of who you are. Everyone benefits fully, everyone receives your gifts, when you are loving yourself fully. Period.
Nobody needs you because ultimately there is no one but you.
Think about that.
Wrong.
Nobody needs you. Nobody.
Well, okay, now that I've delivered the shock treatment, let's qualify that. No adult needs you. It is true that in strictly physical terms, your children - in early childhood only - need you for nourishment, shelter, emotional support, love and guidance. Fair enough. But after that, nobody needs you!
So, get over it and let's explore the truth about this.
As I said, in linear, physical reality, children are pretty much born utterly helpless and dependent. In order to survive and thrive during the first 5 to 7 years of life, a child must receive everything of physical and emotional sustenance from the environment, mainly the parents and/or other significant caretaking others in our current paradigm (Problems with that paradigm were discussed in Part 4 of this series: "PARENTS ARE THE LEAST QUALIFIED OF ALL ADULTS TO RAISE CHILDREN!").
I refer to this need in the young child to be "filled up" by its parents as being on the "tank system."
As the child evolves through the developmental stages of late childhood, adolescence and on into young adulthood, the need to receive is steadily replaced by the need to "give," what Erik Erikson called "generativity." Adults, in other words, get filled up by giving, what I refer to as the "channel system."
The more an adult gives, the more filled up he or she feels, the more he or she receives. For an adult, giving and receiving a like inhaling and exhaling. One leads inexorably to the other
Now - very important - let's clarify what is meant by "giving" in adulthood. It is not doing "good deeds" or acting out of "self-sacrifice" or through so-called altruistic behaviors. An adult human being gives, genuinely, by expressing, by creating, by outputting from a place of passion, desire and personal highest excitement. To act from any other place means acting from a mask, from the child self's ego, and that means that the so-called giving is actually a covert attempt to get something (i.e. - an unmet need from childhood, which ironically, is something an adult actually doesn't need anymore, as I've indicated.)
This principle also includes giving love to people you may love romantically. If you cannot accept that someone won't fully receive the love you are trying to give, and you remain frustrated by that, you are caught in the "giving-to-get" trap.
Here's a quote from a Pathwork Guide Lecture, "The Harm of Too Much Giving":
"If a person is incapable of receiving your love and is frightened by it, yet your frustrated wish to love comes out in a stronger force than what the other person is capable of meeting, your current makes that other person withdraw in fear. When you are unaware of your own inner processes, you are not sensitive to this. You merely feel rejected and are busy with this insult. Thus you do not respect the other's integral right not to be receptive to what you wish to give. But if you realize the inner struggle of the other person, if you grow sufficiently to give only what can be received, another kind of relationship could come into being that may be very rewarding."
So, simply put, except for children, nobody needs you to do or be anything that isn't for and from your highest place of personal fulfillment. (See the intro description of Full Permission Living). And even children, by the way, only truly get nourished emotionally if your giving to them is coming from a self-actualized place of joy.
Now, onto the spiritual, higher dimensional understanding of why nobody needs you.
One of the basic, higher truths about everything, which I mentioned in the introduction to the first installment of this series, is that we are all one. What that means, among other things, is that we are all of the same singular "body" of consciousness and energy, and that every "individual" is actually a mirrored reflection of an aspect of ourselves and of All That Is. Separateness, therefore, is an idea, a construct, an illusion if you will. Individuality is an experiment in consciousness by the consciousness of All That Is to experience the idea of separation.
It is only by thoroughly believing in this idea of separation, and by forgetting temporarily the true nature of existence, that we could possibly believe that any one person might "need" another. In other words, one would have to conclude that a particular individual is not connected directly to the source energy of All That Is, and therefore needs us to step in where All That Is is falling short, quite a remarkable arrogance, wouldn't you say? But that's been part of the 3D game, which is now coming to an end, which is why we're talking about this!
So, let it go, folks. Take a deep breath and realize that you are free, free from obligation, free from sacrifice, free from denial of who you are. Everyone benefits fully, everyone receives your gifts, when you are loving yourself fully. Period.
Nobody needs you because ultimately there is no one but you.
Think about that.
TODAY'S "ONESS" QUOTE!
"The moments you look back upon with deepest regret – the ones that conjure up within you the most profound humiliation in your own eyes – are the moments for which you choose a human incarnation."
(From "Oneness," by Rasha)
THANKS FOR THE COFFEE, JON STEWART!
I missed the first five of Jon Stewart's 16 years on TV. I hadn't heard about him. So, I didn't start watching until 2004. After a while, though, as the Aughts progressed and the run-up to 5D accelerated, the Daily Show became the main current events source of information I that could actually tolerate.
As I realized that the world was shifting in a genuinely profound way, literally into 2 Earths, one remaining in 3D, one ascending into a higher dimension (Read more HERE), it became clear that the mainstream media, for the most part, both liberal and conservative, were staying behind.
By looking at events, and the media itself, with laughter and incessantly satirical scrutiny, the Daily Show with Jon Stewart became a welcome aid to those who were waking up. Stewart served the coffee to many over the last decade.
And now, after a multitude of Emmys, and many career launches of cast members, he's leaving Comedy Central and the Daily Show. Thursday night, 8/6/15, was his last show. It makes sense. We don't need him anymore. If you're reading this, you're in 5D. 3D, and all of its linear, limited, dualistic confines, is no more, even though some hang onto the old rules or habits. And the ascension process to 5D is well underway (Read more HERE). No turning back. We made it.
So, Jon Stewart can move onto whatever the next task on his journey is.
Thanks, Jon. Have a great ride!
As I realized that the world was shifting in a genuinely profound way, literally into 2 Earths, one remaining in 3D, one ascending into a higher dimension (Read more HERE), it became clear that the mainstream media, for the most part, both liberal and conservative, were staying behind.
By looking at events, and the media itself, with laughter and incessantly satirical scrutiny, the Daily Show with Jon Stewart became a welcome aid to those who were waking up. Stewart served the coffee to many over the last decade.
And now, after a multitude of Emmys, and many career launches of cast members, he's leaving Comedy Central and the Daily Show. Thursday night, 8/6/15, was his last show. It makes sense. We don't need him anymore. If you're reading this, you're in 5D. 3D, and all of its linear, limited, dualistic confines, is no more, even though some hang onto the old rules or habits. And the ascension process to 5D is well underway (Read more HERE). No turning back. We made it.
So, Jon Stewart can move onto whatever the next task on his journey is.
Thanks, Jon. Have a great ride!
TODAY'S JON STEWART QUOTE!
"You'd have nights where you would just bomb on stage and you would feel like the biggest loser in the world. And then you'd have other nights with the same material where you would crush. What it begins to teach you is that the reaction is not necessarily the barometer of the quality of something."
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart
REPOST: THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING, PART ONE: SEX IS THE MOST POWERFUL WAY TO ACCESS SOURCE ENERGY!
Inspired by an amazing book, THE MAGDALEN MANUSCRIPT, by Tom Kenyon and Jodi Sion, a 5D must read, I am reposting the first installment in my series from a few years ago, THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING.
Enjoy! Really!
This is the first entry in what I'm imagining will be a series in which I will discuss... well... the truth about everything. The truth about everything?! Well, to qualify, at least the truth as it has been made known to me by opening up the inner channels in myself and through observing and receiving information from other open channels and through an accumulated body of knowledge that came from exploring the inner and outer lives of a multitude of individuals over several decades. And the "everything" part will be the main things that preoccupy the minds of most human beings a good amount of the time that they are human beings. So, naturally, I started with sex.
Of course, if I were to start with the highest levels of the truth about everything, this would be a very short post indeed, because contrary to what our complex intellects are inclined to believe, the higher you go, the simpler the truths are. Basically, the defining truths of our known universe are: we exist, we create our own reality, we are all one, love is the essence of All That Is, and change/movement is continuous in all things at all times. That's all of it. End of story in the big picture.
That being said, there are in the "smaller picture," let us say, lesser truths, truths that pertain to particular lines of reality and collective agreements and "games" that we have agreed to participate in that effect our day-to-day experiences in what appear to be more immediate ways in 3rd dimensional reality.
One of those truths is that sex, and the orgasm experience, particularly when experienced in conjunction with love and Eros, is one of the most direct ways that physical human beings can access the source energy of All That Is. The full experience of orgasm, especially while in the throws of love and Eros, can heal physical illnesses, can clarify the confusion our accumulated beliefs engender, can free up creative expression and can even be accessed to attract material abundance. Furthermore, metaphysically speaking, the orgasm experience, for the brief period that it lasts, literally does "get you off," as in off the planet! Yep. When you are in the throws of a good orgasm, you are blown (no pun intended) out of 3rd dimensional consciousness up to anywhere from a 5th to 9th dimensional vibration, according to some channelled information I recently came upon (again, no pun intended.)
The orgasm experience in general, even at lesser levels of intensity, such as through simple masturbation, can effect positive shifts in our health and well-being. Recent studies, for example, have shown that regular orgasms are in direct proportion to healthier immune systems, better heart health, lesser rates of depression, and in men, orgasms in mid-life decrease the risk of prostate cancer and in women, orgasm can act as an analgesic during pre-menstrual symptoms and menstrual pains.
THIS is a quote from a piece by Deepak Chopra:
"Sexual energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe. All things that are alive come from sexual energy. In animals and other life forms, sexual energy expresses itself as biological creativity. In humans, sexual energy can be creative at all levels -- physical, emotional and spiritual. In any situation -- where we feel attraction, arousal, awakening, alertness, passion, interest, inspiration, excitement, creativity, enthusiasm -- in each of these situations, sexual energy is at work. Whenever we feel these states of awareness, we must put our attention on the energy that we are experiencing, nourishing it with our attention, experiencing it with joy and keeping it alive in our awareness. Sexual desire is sacred and chaste. The suppression of sexual energy is false, ugly and unchaste. During sexual union, there is union between flesh and spirit."
THIS is from the Pathwork Guide Lecture entitled:
"The Spiritual Symbolism and Significance of Sexuality:"
"In the human realm the power of sexuality can, in its most ideal form, be the greatest 'representative' of spiritual existence. There is no other human experience that conveys so fully what spiritual bliss, oneness, and timelessness are: the timeless Now, beyond the confines of time. In the total sexual experience man breaks through the confines of time and separateness to which his limited mind has bound him. Through such an experience man is reminded of his true existence in the eternal."
Likewise, we can never underestimate the damage done, individually and collectively, from sexual repression. The old slogan from the 60's - "Make love not war." - was on the mark. I have often asked people if after a passionate session of lovemaking, culminating in system-clearing orgasms with someone they love, have they ever felt inclined to follow that amazing experience up by starting a war, or stealing someone's pension or throwing toxins in our water supply? Right. The suppression of sex and all that brings has led to negative, destructive outcomes in so many areas of life. Read more HERE.
So, that's entry #1, folks, on The Truth About Everything. It all starts with sex!
Enjoy! Really!
This is the first entry in what I'm imagining will be a series in which I will discuss... well... the truth about everything. The truth about everything?! Well, to qualify, at least the truth as it has been made known to me by opening up the inner channels in myself and through observing and receiving information from other open channels and through an accumulated body of knowledge that came from exploring the inner and outer lives of a multitude of individuals over several decades. And the "everything" part will be the main things that preoccupy the minds of most human beings a good amount of the time that they are human beings. So, naturally, I started with sex.
Of course, if I were to start with the highest levels of the truth about everything, this would be a very short post indeed, because contrary to what our complex intellects are inclined to believe, the higher you go, the simpler the truths are. Basically, the defining truths of our known universe are: we exist, we create our own reality, we are all one, love is the essence of All That Is, and change/movement is continuous in all things at all times. That's all of it. End of story in the big picture.
That being said, there are in the "smaller picture," let us say, lesser truths, truths that pertain to particular lines of reality and collective agreements and "games" that we have agreed to participate in that effect our day-to-day experiences in what appear to be more immediate ways in 3rd dimensional reality.
One of those truths is that sex, and the orgasm experience, particularly when experienced in conjunction with love and Eros, is one of the most direct ways that physical human beings can access the source energy of All That Is. The full experience of orgasm, especially while in the throws of love and Eros, can heal physical illnesses, can clarify the confusion our accumulated beliefs engender, can free up creative expression and can even be accessed to attract material abundance. Furthermore, metaphysically speaking, the orgasm experience, for the brief period that it lasts, literally does "get you off," as in off the planet! Yep. When you are in the throws of a good orgasm, you are blown (no pun intended) out of 3rd dimensional consciousness up to anywhere from a 5th to 9th dimensional vibration, according to some channelled information I recently came upon (again, no pun intended.)
The orgasm experience in general, even at lesser levels of intensity, such as through simple masturbation, can effect positive shifts in our health and well-being. Recent studies, for example, have shown that regular orgasms are in direct proportion to healthier immune systems, better heart health, lesser rates of depression, and in men, orgasms in mid-life decrease the risk of prostate cancer and in women, orgasm can act as an analgesic during pre-menstrual symptoms and menstrual pains.
THIS is a quote from a piece by Deepak Chopra:
"Sexual energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe. All things that are alive come from sexual energy. In animals and other life forms, sexual energy expresses itself as biological creativity. In humans, sexual energy can be creative at all levels -- physical, emotional and spiritual. In any situation -- where we feel attraction, arousal, awakening, alertness, passion, interest, inspiration, excitement, creativity, enthusiasm -- in each of these situations, sexual energy is at work. Whenever we feel these states of awareness, we must put our attention on the energy that we are experiencing, nourishing it with our attention, experiencing it with joy and keeping it alive in our awareness. Sexual desire is sacred and chaste. The suppression of sexual energy is false, ugly and unchaste. During sexual union, there is union between flesh and spirit."
THIS is from the Pathwork Guide Lecture entitled:
"The Spiritual Symbolism and Significance of Sexuality:"
"In the human realm the power of sexuality can, in its most ideal form, be the greatest 'representative' of spiritual existence. There is no other human experience that conveys so fully what spiritual bliss, oneness, and timelessness are: the timeless Now, beyond the confines of time. In the total sexual experience man breaks through the confines of time and separateness to which his limited mind has bound him. Through such an experience man is reminded of his true existence in the eternal."
Likewise, we can never underestimate the damage done, individually and collectively, from sexual repression. The old slogan from the 60's - "Make love not war." - was on the mark. I have often asked people if after a passionate session of lovemaking, culminating in system-clearing orgasms with someone they love, have they ever felt inclined to follow that amazing experience up by starting a war, or stealing someone's pension or throwing toxins in our water supply? Right. The suppression of sex and all that brings has led to negative, destructive outcomes in so many areas of life. Read more HERE.
So, that's entry #1, folks, on The Truth About Everything. It all starts with sex!
TODAY'S "ONENESS" QUOTE!
"When you permit yourself the luxury of openly, unabashedly, fantasizing about what it is you truly yearn for, and dream of, you set into motion the energetic parameters for manifesting your heart’s desire. Until you give free expression to the limitless vision you keep under wraps, you cannot, by definition, create it in your reality. When you operate your life from the mind-set of unworthiness to have your heart’s desire—when the thrust of your energy is not daring to ask for what you truly want out of fear of disappointment—that disappointment is virtually guaranteed."
(From "Oneness" by Rasha)
(From "Oneness" by Rasha)
REPOST: IN PRAISE OF LAZY PARENTING!
Bravo! Yahoo! I love this!!
This wonderful article, "In Praise of Lazy Parenting," once appeared in an issue of Wondertime Magazine. In a playful but dead-on bit of writing, the author and mother, Brett Paesel, describes the benefits to all of being an adult around your kids, so your kids can be kids. I have been saying this as loudly as I can for years now. But now, listen to someone else.
This is music-to-my-ears from Paesel:
"Your devotion to your own well-being may benefit your children more than you know. It could be making you a happier, saner mother. You could be doing your kids a favor by giving them a chance to develop a solid sense of independence. In fact, you could even consider your laissez-faire approach an act of faith in your kids and their ability to figure things out for themselves."
Yes! Yes! That is one of my biggest chastisements of the over-involved, course-controlling parent - you are showing no faith in the child's innate ability to learn and grow in a direction set forth before birth by their souls. In fact, you are treating your children as if they were soulless, and therefore in desperate need of your self-ordained Godly intervention.
Here's more from Paesel:
"I’ve noticed that an unintended benefit of my indolence is that my sons have made do with each other as playmates — thereby becoming best friends. This is something I hadn’t anticipated, since they’re almost four years apart. But last Saturday, after spending the entire afternoon with just each other, they told me they’re starting a business together: selling information they’ve printed out from the Internet. I feel proud. And why mess with this potentially lucrative partnership?"
Right. Children learn best from each other. Parents can only input information to children, and that inputting decreases their independent capacities to learn and be inquisitive, and the information being given is always, ALWAYS biased by the parents' set of experiences, beliefs and values.
Keep going, Brett:
"Since Spence [the oldest] wants more sophisticated company, he’s teaching 3-year-old Murphy to read. Spencer started reading at around 4 because, though I love reading chapter books, I tired of his repeated requests to hear dry accounts of the life cycle of beetles or termites eating dung. If he taught himself to read, I told him, he wouldn’t have to depend on me to entertain him. Now he has something to do on long car trips while Daddy and Mommy rock out to Led Zeppelin."
Mmm-hmm! But what about domestic duties?
"I wish I could say parenthood has awakened my dormant interest in cooking. But it turns out the interest isn’t dormant — it’s nonexistent. So in an effort to keep my kids healthy, I’ve stumbled onto the raw foods craze. True, Spencer and Murphy won’t eat foods that touch each other, but they do eat tons of fresh strawberries, broccoli, and avocado. So I’m not just a mom who can’t be bothered to sauté; I’m on the cutting edge of nutrition. I can’t face picking up toys that will simply wind up back on the floor. As a result, I’ve mandated “clean-up time” after dinner: The kids have to throw all of their toys in the appropriate bins in 10 minutes, and then they get their gummy vitamins. I set the kitchen timer, and the boys run around picking up toys like it’s an Olympic event. Their lucky wives are going to thank me later."
That's a big one. I am always railing about how treating your children like Princes or Princesses, with the parents in the role of servants, is not only discouraging the kids from ever growing up, but also making it impossible for them to be in an adult relationship one day. I can assure you that no adult partner is going to trim the crust off your son's toast when he's 30 years old, and any daughter who continues to need to be told that she's the "fairest in the land" in order to feel secure is in for a lot of psychotherapy!
More:
"As Spencer and Murphy have gotten older, they’ve found it increasingly difficult to fall asleep at 7:30. I, however, still need two or three hours to myself at night, precious childfree time to devote to my husband and Jon Stewart. So, instead of pushing their bedtime, I’ve created “Adult Time”: The boys can stay up until 9, talking and playing quietly, as long as they don’t bother me for anything more involved than a glass of water. “Adult Time” was initially enforced to serve my needs, but I’ve found the boys enjoy conspiring and giggling in their beds. Last week, I was delighted to be shooed out of the room when I came in to close a window. “No adults allowed,” Spence said. I deferentially retired to the living room and a make-out session with my husband under the unknowing eyes of Jon Stewart."
JOY! JOY! JOY! ADULT TIME!! Listen, folks, if you're an adult and you think you don't need much adult time, YOU'RE NOT AN ADULT! And if you think you don't need regular doses of heavy-duty making-out, you're letting your children know how passionless adult life will be for them one day, too. Like the author/mother here demonstrates, when you live your life like an independent, sensually alive adult, your kids become self-reliant and confident, they love their bodies and feelings, and they discover the true joy of mastery. One of the things James Lipton of the Actors Studio is always remarking on is how many really successful and talented actors who come on his show came from broken homes, either through divorce or death. Well, how obvious is that? LESS PARENTAL AVAILABILITY equals MORE SUCCESSFUL OFFSPRING!
Thank you, Brett Paesel! You are one heck of a great lazy mom!!
This wonderful article, "In Praise of Lazy Parenting," once appeared in an issue of Wondertime Magazine. In a playful but dead-on bit of writing, the author and mother, Brett Paesel, describes the benefits to all of being an adult around your kids, so your kids can be kids. I have been saying this as loudly as I can for years now. But now, listen to someone else.
This is music-to-my-ears from Paesel:
"Your devotion to your own well-being may benefit your children more than you know. It could be making you a happier, saner mother. You could be doing your kids a favor by giving them a chance to develop a solid sense of independence. In fact, you could even consider your laissez-faire approach an act of faith in your kids and their ability to figure things out for themselves."
Yes! Yes! That is one of my biggest chastisements of the over-involved, course-controlling parent - you are showing no faith in the child's innate ability to learn and grow in a direction set forth before birth by their souls. In fact, you are treating your children as if they were soulless, and therefore in desperate need of your self-ordained Godly intervention.
Here's more from Paesel:
"I’ve noticed that an unintended benefit of my indolence is that my sons have made do with each other as playmates — thereby becoming best friends. This is something I hadn’t anticipated, since they’re almost four years apart. But last Saturday, after spending the entire afternoon with just each other, they told me they’re starting a business together: selling information they’ve printed out from the Internet. I feel proud. And why mess with this potentially lucrative partnership?"
Right. Children learn best from each other. Parents can only input information to children, and that inputting decreases their independent capacities to learn and be inquisitive, and the information being given is always, ALWAYS biased by the parents' set of experiences, beliefs and values.
Keep going, Brett:
"Since Spence [the oldest] wants more sophisticated company, he’s teaching 3-year-old Murphy to read. Spencer started reading at around 4 because, though I love reading chapter books, I tired of his repeated requests to hear dry accounts of the life cycle of beetles or termites eating dung. If he taught himself to read, I told him, he wouldn’t have to depend on me to entertain him. Now he has something to do on long car trips while Daddy and Mommy rock out to Led Zeppelin."
Mmm-hmm! But what about domestic duties?
"I wish I could say parenthood has awakened my dormant interest in cooking. But it turns out the interest isn’t dormant — it’s nonexistent. So in an effort to keep my kids healthy, I’ve stumbled onto the raw foods craze. True, Spencer and Murphy won’t eat foods that touch each other, but they do eat tons of fresh strawberries, broccoli, and avocado. So I’m not just a mom who can’t be bothered to sauté; I’m on the cutting edge of nutrition. I can’t face picking up toys that will simply wind up back on the floor. As a result, I’ve mandated “clean-up time” after dinner: The kids have to throw all of their toys in the appropriate bins in 10 minutes, and then they get their gummy vitamins. I set the kitchen timer, and the boys run around picking up toys like it’s an Olympic event. Their lucky wives are going to thank me later."
That's a big one. I am always railing about how treating your children like Princes or Princesses, with the parents in the role of servants, is not only discouraging the kids from ever growing up, but also making it impossible for them to be in an adult relationship one day. I can assure you that no adult partner is going to trim the crust off your son's toast when he's 30 years old, and any daughter who continues to need to be told that she's the "fairest in the land" in order to feel secure is in for a lot of psychotherapy!
More:
"As Spencer and Murphy have gotten older, they’ve found it increasingly difficult to fall asleep at 7:30. I, however, still need two or three hours to myself at night, precious childfree time to devote to my husband and Jon Stewart. So, instead of pushing their bedtime, I’ve created “Adult Time”: The boys can stay up until 9, talking and playing quietly, as long as they don’t bother me for anything more involved than a glass of water. “Adult Time” was initially enforced to serve my needs, but I’ve found the boys enjoy conspiring and giggling in their beds. Last week, I was delighted to be shooed out of the room when I came in to close a window. “No adults allowed,” Spence said. I deferentially retired to the living room and a make-out session with my husband under the unknowing eyes of Jon Stewart."
JOY! JOY! JOY! ADULT TIME!! Listen, folks, if you're an adult and you think you don't need much adult time, YOU'RE NOT AN ADULT! And if you think you don't need regular doses of heavy-duty making-out, you're letting your children know how passionless adult life will be for them one day, too. Like the author/mother here demonstrates, when you live your life like an independent, sensually alive adult, your kids become self-reliant and confident, they love their bodies and feelings, and they discover the true joy of mastery. One of the things James Lipton of the Actors Studio is always remarking on is how many really successful and talented actors who come on his show came from broken homes, either through divorce or death. Well, how obvious is that? LESS PARENTAL AVAILABILITY equals MORE SUCCESSFUL OFFSPRING!
Thank you, Brett Paesel! You are one heck of a great lazy mom!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
