THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING, PART FOUR: PARENTS ARE THE LEAST QUALIFIED OF ALL ADULTS TO RAISE CHILDREN!
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you."
The above quote from Kahlil Gibran's classic piece on children is well known to many, but ignored or misunderstood by almost everyone who has children. In fact, in over 30 years of working as a therapist with parents, children, prospective parents, and adults who once were children, I have yet to come upon a single case of someone who gave birth to a child from a self-actualized, egoless place, who could, in other words, understand and practice what Gibran is saying above. This is why everyone you know has a character structure that needs to be dismantled with arduous self-work in order to attain a decent level of happiness and self-realization.
Most people would agree that parenting is one of the most important jobs on the planet, right? Yet, think about this - you need to take a written test, a road test and an eye test to be allowed to drive a car. You need at least an undergraduate college degree, if not more, in order to get hired for most professional occupations, and you need some amount of time as an apprentice or trainee in order to obtain and hold most jobs at any level. But to become a parent, all you technically have to do is... well... fuck somebody, and voila - instant parent! With all the rights and privileges bestowed by our society upon you to determine a young being's health and well-being for the entire first segment of their life, and maybe for their entire life. Talk about fucking somebody!
Here's Kahlil Gibran again:
"You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday."
Ready? Let's say it together: "Parents suck!" (or at least, they did in 3D)
Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let's consider how we arrived to such a state of affairs. Of course, it always comes back to "Soul Age" and the vicissitudes of 3D reality, the dimension we all just left over the last 2 years. The predominant soul age on 3D Earth was "young," and that meant that the pre-occupation here was with the development and exaggerated use of, and belief in, the ego and lower-self will. This dovetails perfectly with the 3rd dimensional beliefs in limitation, linear time and physical existence as all there is (as opposed to a 4th and 5th dimensional consciousness that operates outside the illusion of space and time, connected to All That Is.).
So, throughout what we thought of as our history, adults had rarely born children out of conscious inspiration from Source, or even from a place of deep love and Eros with a partner. Marriages had historically been formed out of tradition, convenience, financial need or in 20th Century western cultures, out of co-dependent disorders. Children had historically been seen in these scenarios as property (another body to work on the farm or carry on the family business) or as an extension of one's ego, a vehicle to extend lineage, blood-line identity and narcissism into another generation, the exact opposite of what Gibran was writing about.
And even on those rare occasions that a child was born out of genuine love between two adults, said adults, having received zero training or guidance in child development or what it really means to be a parent, still remained unqualified to do an acceptable job of guiding a life to maturity.
Here's Neale Donald Walsch from "Conversations With God":
" No one is more ill-equipped to raise children than young parents. Most of you gain the wisdom, the patience, the understanding, and the love to be wonderful parents after your parenting years are over. Child raising was mean to be an activity of the elders, whose minds are well developed and strong. The erroneous thought is that that those who bear children - the young adults - bear also the sole responsibility for raising them. But if the people who have children aren’t responsible for raising them in a Highly Enlightened Society, who is? The whole community. With special emphasis on the elders."
Okay, time to breathe. Young adults having children, but elders raising them? What? "Those are MY kids!" Actually, they're not. But hey, just look around at the results of that kind of old thinking - children (unjustly) diagnosed as depressed, hyperactive, and diabetic, being raised by depressed, hyperactive, diabetic adults. Now, tell me: How'd that ego-driven, 3D approach to child-rearing work for you? And for all of us? (Of course, in the harmony of Oneness, the slings and arrows of being born to and raised by unself-actualized beings in an unself-actualized culture actually accelerated our rise up to 5D.)
So, here we are, another hard Truth About Everything: "Parents Are The Least Qualified Of All Adults To Raise Children."
Now, what do we do? Obviously, we are not set up as a Highly Enlightened Society, yet, and even if we tried to structurally arrange it, our current crop of elders are not only not equipped to guide children, because developmentally and soul-wise, they are children!
But... we are evolving, and accelerating the process of that evolution into 5D by... yes, here it comes... doing the focused, intense self-work necessary to mature ourselves at the deepest levels. We can become a mature/old soul planet in no time as we make the turn and do whatever it takes to expand our levels of consciousness and raise our vibrations.
In the meantime, as part of our ascension process into 5D, we are having less children, and when we do have them, we're doing do so at a later age after we've done some consciously-directed evolving. This is very good news.
Here'e the final passage from Kahlil Gibran.
"You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Here's to all of you working to become stable bows.