Parental over-involvement gone wild!

URGENT! Check out today's "Domestic Dusturbances" column by Judith Warner, called: "Helicopter Parenting Turns Deadly" (http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/29/helicopter-parenting-turns-deadly/).

Here's a quote from this very tough article: “People now feel like having a good relationship with your child means you’re involved in every aspect of your child’s life,” says Rosalind Wiseman, author of “Queen Bees & Wannabes” and “Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads,” who travels the country speaking with and counseling parents, teachers and teens.

“Nothing is off-limits” now between parents and their kids, she says. “There’s no privacy and there’s no critical thinking," she writes.

This is very painful reading, and yes, these are extreme cases of the harmful effects of parental over-involvement, but please don't excuse yourself, good parents, from using these cases to examine where on the continuum of this kind of vicarious dysfunction you fall. These over-the-top examples are only the most grotesque manifestations of a wide-spread parenting pandemic.

A whole generation of children are suffering because of it, and the worst is yet to come when these kids grow up and try to have real adult relationships in the coming decades. While there's still time, I urge you to do the work necessary to get your own lives and let your kids grow up.

1 comment:

lolabola said...

I really believe so much of this "parent over-involvement" is due to the fact that we, (this current generation of parents) are trying to counter balance our own childhoods. Not in the obvious way, but because of our neglected or even worse; grossly dysfunctional childhoods, we are now trying to regain the childhood we never had through our children. We are looking more to them as parents to us (this whole bizarre concept of being your child's "best friend") than being the parent ourselves. We are stepping into dangerous territory when we look to our children to fulfill our needs.

 

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