YOUR IDEAS OF WHO PEOPLE ARE, ARE ALWAYS FALSE!


Wrap your head around that! Well, of course, you can't, but you may be able to wrap your heart around it.

This is from the mind-and-heart opening book by, "The Book of Truth," channeled by Paul Selig:

"We will ask you each to make a decision now. Decide one human being in your life stands before you, anyone in your life, a friend or a parent, a coworker, perhaps, and you see them as you see them. You decide who they are based on your prior experience. 'Oh, she is wearing the sweater I bought for her. Oh, he is looking angry again. When he looks angry, he will do such and such.' You are prescribing behavior or an outcome or assigning history based on what you’ve known about them. Now would you look at this person again and make a new decision? 'Everything I know about this person is wrong, is my idea of who he or she is, and I have been projecting an identity upon them based on my prescriptions—perhaps through my experience, yes, but I am knowing them through the intellectual self who has history or ideas about who someone is.' This is the second step. To realize that you may not know is a precursor to knowing."

"Now we will ask you each, you who attend to these words, to imagine that one before you as if she was never born, had never come in the form she is in, had never been invested in a physical self, but is just vibration. What you are doing here is disassembling form or the requirement of the form to be the rendering of the construct of frequency that they express as. If they have no body, are they still themselves, or have you mistaken them through the flesh to resemble what you think they are based on prior intention? If they don’t have the body, are they still in love, in the frequency of love that I have placed them in? Are they still beautiful or ugly or old or young? In fact they are not. They just are as they are in the vibration of truth."

"Your ideas of who people are, are always false. Do you understand this? They are just your ideas and they are prescriptions you hold based on your history."

BEYOND PERMISSION SLIPS!



"All objects, all tools, all rituals, all techniques are 'permission slips' you attract yourself to because they are representative of something within your belief system that says that if you use this tool, ritual, or technique you will then be more likely to allow yourself to give yourself permission to be more of who you are."

Okay, what exactly is Bashar talking about here?

Well, it's nothing more or less than what every teacher of higher consciousness or any quantum physicist would say. It's directly related to what the placebo effect demonstrates, which even mainstream medical practitioners know is real (Read more on that HERE). 

In his own inimitable way, Bashar is reiterating the truth that matter is directed into form by consciousness. This is not theory, opinion or belief. This is demonstrable - through science, through experience, through unbiased observation.

Matter is directed into form by consciousness.

However, here's the caveat... for us. Since we played the 3D game for so long, a game which had rules that led us to forget all of the above, and who we truly are, for the most part, we needed external devices - permission slips - to allow ourselves to transform energy into form without thinking that we were really doing so.

So, we take drugs, have surgery, radiate ourselves, or we eat certain foods, exercise, do cleanses, meditate, read books, go to therapy... whatever... all with the idea of creating a certain effect in our mind-body-spirit gestalt. Likewise, we work at a jobs, and get degrees or specialized training to obtain said jobs, in order to survive or manifest abundance in our material lives.

But what experiments on the placebo effect have shown is that whether you are ingesting chemicals or simply water in a pill, whether you're having actual or fake surgery, if you believe said pill or surgery is going to heal you, it will. Likewise, what people’s experiences have shown them is that when we let go of control, and trust in the flow of life, things work out for our greater good, often with ease. In other words, life is full of permission slips to activate your beliefs in a preferred way.

We conditioned ourselves in 3D to call these things mysteries, coincidences, luck, etc. Now, in 5D, more and more people are coming to understand one of the basic tenants of human existence, which is we create our reality from our intentions at various levels of consciousness. In the transition period, however, we are still temporarily relying on beliefs and permission slips, even though they now may be of a higher vibration.

As the veil of limitation lifts, we will have more experiences of a synchronistic nature that will be akin to practicing creating our reality directly, without a permission slip, and out of the strict linear time continuum.

Here’s a personal example...

For 20 years, I have been using the permission slip of doing periodic cleanses, as per the formulae and regimens of master herbalist, Richard Schulze. My belief in his programs and products was strong, and the results I always experienced were extremely positive. I would feel vibrant, clear, energized, within days, and my face and skin glowed as if I’d been on vacation at the beach somewhere.

But… here’s what began occurring a few years ago. I would start feeling vibrant, and start glowing before I began the cleanse. In other words, I was showing myself that simply setting the intention to cleanse my body made it happen. No herbs, no juicing, no hot and cold showers. Just focusing my consciousness. Just a clear intention in my mind, and the anticipation emotionally of feeling good in my body, made it so.

So, to summarize... start with recognizing, without judgment, that virtually everything you use in your life to create an effect that you desire is a permission slip. Then, again without judgment, allow yourself through relaxed intention and elevated emotions, to create what you desire without a permission slip.


Try it. Go direct. Conscious intention to instant manifestation. That’s what we’re up to, folks. That’s 5D.

REPOST: TODAY'S FIRST DAY OF SUMMER QUOTES


"Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it."
Russel Baker

“In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer”
Albert Camus

“Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language”
Henry James

“Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.”
Ada Louise Huxtable

YOU ARE NOT VULNERABLE WHEN YOU'RE OPEN. YOU'RE VULNERABLE WHEN YOU'RE LITTLE!

I read an blog post a while ago entitled, "The One Quality We Often Mistake For Weakness Can Actually Make You Stronger," which extolls the virtues of being "vulnerable." Citing examples from President Obama to the Dalai Lama, the piece gives examples of the strength that comes from being vulnerable. The post refers to a book, "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead," by Brene Brown.

While I essentially support what the post and book are trying to say, the language of the authors demonstrates a very common error which I would like to address here.

"I feel too vulnerable when..."

How often I hear individuals begin a sentence like that. Usually, the person in question who is perceiving themselves as "vulnerable" is talking about being "open" in some situation that is revealing of their inner life to another. But this common connection in one's mind between openness and vulnerability is erroneous. 

You are not vulnerable when you're open.

The definition of "vulnerable" in most dictionaries is: "susceptible to physical or emotional harm." Okay. That's pretty straightforward. So, when are we the most susceptible to harm in those ways? Well, in two situations, mainly: 1. when we are without an option for avoiding danger; and 2. when we are truly dependent on another person or persons who may choose to do us harm. And when are we most likely to be in such situations? Well, unless you are literally a hostage in a terrorist takeover, or a prisoner of war or in jail, the most prevalent time human beings are actually vulnerable to harm is - you guessed it - in childhood!

That's right. In childhood, especially early childhood, we are essentially hostages to our parents and caretakers, without options to avoid the slings and arrows of our environment. And we are utterly and completely dependent on those others for our well-being, even for our very existence. Whatever the vicissitudes of our parents' mental and emotional health, or lack thereof, we, as children, cannot protect ourselves or remove ourselves from harm's way. We can't stop adults from hurting us, nor can we trade in one set of adults for another. In other words... we are vulnerable. Truly.

Now, here's where the confusion comes in and how the erroneous connection gets made.

As children, as newly minted human beings, we are naturally open, physically, mentally and emotionally. We feel everything fully when we're first born, and to some degree, we stay that way throughout the very early years of life. However, because of the undeveloped, un-self-actualized aspects of humanity, we are injured by our environment. Our parents and caretakers hurt us. Yet, we cannot stop them, nor can we leave them.

So what do we do? We begin to shut down, distort, and/or disconnect parts of ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally in order not to feel the pain so acutely. We form a character structure, and initially, it actually does seem to mitigate the pain, which seems to validate the conclusion that open is vulnerable, and closed is safe.

See, we can't understand truly when we're little that we're little. We can't really picture that one day, we'll be adults ourselves, and have the choices adults have. In other words, we can't understand that it's being little that makes us vulnerable, not being open that makes us vulnerable. And so, stuck in the confines of our character structures as time passes, we miss the fact that nature provides the solution to the problem of vulnerability in childhood - we grow up!

In adulthood, we can realize that protecting ourselves emotionally with the armor of character defenses is very inefficient and inhibiting, and most importantly, no longer necessary. Wearing that suit of armor doesn't make for the easy enjoyment of a sunny day, let alone for making love. On the other hand, being fully open to our inner lives, which frees up the mind and body, gives us the energy and flexibility to creatively express ourselves, enjoy life and, if need be, avoid situations that would do us harm, which mainly means not engaging with negativity. Thus, in this realization, we can engage in a healing process, in an holistic self-work process, that can dismantle the armor and allow us to be ourselves fully.

So, let go of the false belief that when you love and reveal yourself to another, you are vulnerable. And Brene, forgive me for suggesting a slight change to the title of your book, but "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be OPEN Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" would work better for me.

THE PRIMAL SEXUAL IMPERATIVES OF THE CHARACTER STRUCTURES

Character structures are sets of defenses that we create in early childhood that affect us deeply for much of our lives. Every aspect of a person's physical/personality self is affected by character structure - mind, body and emotions. We create them to survive the slings and arrows of our imperfect childhoods with imperfect parents, but like the cocoon of a caterpillar, when we are ready to become self-actualized adults, we must shed them, "break through" our character structures. Not easy. It requires help. But there's no end run around it. The good news is that underneath it all is a Higher Self with great capacities and gifts to give to life.

This new delineation of what I'm calling the "primal sexual imperatives" of the character structures is meant to serve as an addendum to the full descriptions of the character structures found HERE on the Full Permission Living blog, taken from the 5 classes I teach on the subject.

Each character structure has a set of embedded directives meant to divert, distort or inhibit our powerful natural urges for self-expression, in order to keep the ego in control of our thoughts, feelings and actions. What follows, then, are what the ego, unable to eliminate sexual urges and desires altogether, though it would if it could, seeks to manipulate and use sex for.

Schizoid Character Structure: Sex for Control

To the schizoid ego, the free flow of energy through the body, is a major perceived threat, an existential threat. "Life is hazardous to my life" is a core negative belief held by the person with this structure. Literally fearing disintegration and annihilation of the self if the life force isn't controlled and/or cut-off, this person co-opts sexual energy and uses any participation in sexual acts for the purpose of controlling that energy and ultimately the body itself.

Oral Character Structure: Sex for Nurturance

Although the person with this character structure isn't terrified of or cut-off from the life force and sexual energy within them, they are undercharged energetically as a result of living through an early history of deprivation or enmeshment with the primary caretaker of early childhood, and so, they live in an inner world of lack, deprivation and need. "There isn't enough" is the core negative belief adhered to here, and the sex act is seen as a possible way to get "filled up," nurtured, unconditionally loved. Orgasms are not highly charged, and secondary to the wish to be taken care of, which is the main purpose of sex for the oral character.


Masochistic Character Structure: Sex for Release

Charged with plenty of energy, including sexually, but judging and suppressing it and "packing it in" the muscles of the body, this CS desperately seeks release through sex, often compulsively so. "If I let my feelings out, I'll will create a big mess, but if I don't, I'll explode!" Says the masochistic ego, supporting the claim with another 
core negative primal belief in one's own "badness." Battling with the need for release versus the efforts to suppress it, orgasms, just like bowel movements, are pushed out with force against the clenched muscles.

Psychopathic Character Structure: Sex for Power

While the schizoid CS seeks control of its own body and energy, the psychopathic CS seeks to exert power over others. Lacking the capacity for basic trust and true empathy, the person with this CS believes others are always seeking the upper hand through lies and manipulation, so one can truly be trusted. Thus, the core negative primal belief goes something like this: "I must always be right, must never submit or surrender to the will of others, must dominate and seduce others to control them, by any means necessary." A true chameleon, a psychopathic character will appear to be whoever and whatever you wish, including a 
sexually skilled, tireless, attentive lover. In fact, this CS allows for very little genuine physical pleasure, due to the defense mechanism of numbing, so in spite of dramatic displays to the contrary, sex is a bleak experience to the person with this CS.

Rigid Character Structure: Sex for Validation


Considered the only "genital" character of the five major character structures, this person is bioenergetically fully functioning sexually. Orgasm and sexual pleasure are fully charged and accessible in the body, flowing freely, but... there is a caveat - the pleasurable experience is laced with an ego need for validation. The need to be seen as beautiful, talented, smart, fit, young, etc., the list goes on, along with the defining of every situation as a performance, all of that is funneled into sexual interactions with others who must also serve to validate the rigid CS by their high levels of performance and admired attributes. The the core negative primal belief: "I must always look good, appear together and be highly valued and praised for my accomplishments by significant others, who must also look good, appear together and be highly valued and praised for their accomplishments."

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT - THE DOWNSIDE OF SELF-SACRIFICE/THE UPSIDE OF SELFISHNESS!

Here's a quote by George Bernard Shaw:

"Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing."

Now, think about that. Very interesting. Pretty radical? Blasphemous, even, especially to all the martyrs of the world. The great Irish playwright is saying in most simple terms that those who sacrifice themselves feel justified in sacrificing others. If this is so, can we not conversely conclude that self-love and healthy self-centeredness must lead us to do what benefits all others, as well?

If you're up for it, below is an extensive excerpt from a Pathwork Guide lecture on the "MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS."

The Guide:

"People very frequently think -- and if they do not do so consciously, they feel it unconsciously -- that whatever brings them happiness must be damaging to someone else. Hence, it is inevitable that your conscience bothers you every time you are happy, whether you were actually selfish or not. This guilt is bound to afflict your inner will for happiness.

Your unconscious concept is that if you enjoy something, your pleasure will automatically be at the expense of somebody else. Since you were taught that it is wrong to be selfish, you feel you must suppress your 'selfish' desire. You fail to distinguish whether your desires are actually selfish or not, and you indiscriminately suppress all desires. In the belief that all desires for happiness are selfish, you do not dare to desire at all. In the process of suppression, unable to distinguish one from the other, you lump together the really selfish with the really healthy desires which have nothing whatever to do with selfishness. Thus, you have no way of sorting them out, of judging, of coming to terms with them. Only then would you be in a position to freely decide for some desires and against some others.

In short, this is the unconscious concept: since desires aim for happiness and wanting happiness is selfish, I must suppress all desires. You do not realize that as they are driven out they continue their existence underground. The really selfish desires in your unconscious make you feel guilty, but so also do the rightful desires. Both continue to claim and clamor inside of you, often without your awareness. On top of all this, the prohibition you inflict on them makes you resentful. You resent the world for not allowing you to be happy, while in reality it is your wrong conclusion about happiness that is the cause. In the process of suppression of all desires and impulses, the childish and therefore actually selfish ones cannot mature and refine themselves. This can happen only if they are faced and dealt with in awareness. As a consequence, your legitimate and healthy desires and impulses, which are not selfish in the least, cannot find fulfillment.

You are all weighed down by the unconscious conclusion that something is selfish merely because it makes you happy. This is very tragic, my friends. It is a needless cost you pay in happiness and joy. You dare not wish for happiness simply because you fail to discriminate between actual and imagined selfishness. Every time a rightful and healthy impulse for self-expression manifests, you feel and think of it as if it were your really immature and crude selfishness.

The question now is how to treat the real selfishness that exists in the immature part of every human being. The usual and wrong way to handle this is to suppress it and superimpose a compulsive unselfishness that is not genuine. Out of the superimposition stems the unconscious concept that it would actually be very pleasant to be allowed to be selfish. This notion gets a foothold within you, and you unconsciously believe that to be selfish would bring you happiness, but alas, you are not allowed to be happy. You wrongly think that should you give in to your desire for happiness, you would not be loved or approved of. Since love and approval are so necessary for you, you would rather forsake 'happiness.' The inner conflict can be stated in this way: 'If I could be selfish, I could do anything I wanted. That would mean happiness. On the other hand, I cannot be happy if I am not loved and approved of. Therefore, I must become unhappy, in order to be happy.' This sounds completely illogical, but the immature unconscious is this illogical and this contradictory. You can now see what utter confusion exists in the human soul. I am sure, you will not have too much trouble confirming similar feelings in yourself. I venture to say that this conflict exists to some extent in all human beings.

This wrong conclusion accounts for the utter hopelessness you so often feel -- a hopelessness that finds an outlet in occasional moods for which you sometimes find outer reasons and rationalizations. This very conflict is the underlying reality of your hopelessness. Were your misconception true, happiness would indeed be an impossibility. You would be justified in being hopeless if you couldn't be happy without being loved, and you cannot be loved when you are happy, for happiness is selfish according to this erroneous concept. There is unhappiness either way. You may fluctuate between the two alternatives, but whichever way you turn you find yourself unhappy and frustrated. You often rebel inwardly and try to force the people around you to break this law, or what seems to you a law. But your conviction that you are in an insoluble situation causes you to try to get out of it in the wrong way. The irony is that you try to come out of it by sometimes actually acting out your most childish and selfish impulses rather than your legitimate and healthy ones. This must offend others and provoke them to react negatively toward you. And this, in turn, convinces you anew that your predicament is indeed hopeless. Since the cause of your rebellion is unconscious, it does not occur to you to choose to act upon your healthy impulses; instead, you pick the most drastic examples for your experiment. The drastic examples are the selfish impulses. Only by a growing awareness and conscious discrimination can you be in a position to make the proper choices and so receive the proof that your conclusion was wrong. It becomes self-evident that this conflict frustrates your inner will and prohibits the deserved fulfillment of your desire.

The idea that selfishness, if allowed, would be a happier state, may be only in your unconscious mind, while consciously you know all the right answers. In that case, questioning yourself in the proper way will bring you closer to the inner contradiction. By going deeply enough, your answers will be less and less convincing, even to yourself. When this happens, you are approaching the afflicted area. Some of you, if you but took the trouble to think about it, might even find a consciously-held belief that you would be happier if you were allowed to be selfish.

Whether this misconception exists in your conscious or in your unconscious mind, how can you be freely unselfish in your actions day in and day out? Not doing the unselfish act makes you feel guilty, doing it seems to be a violation of your will and conviction. It cannot be a free act, independently chosen. Whenever you do something out of compulsion and not because you say yes to it, you cannot be at one with yourself. You must be divided, in conflict, you must lose your inner peace and your sense of rightness. How can you be happy either in doing something that makes you feel guilty, or in doing something that appears to be against your personal interests? Either alternative brings dissatisfaction.

Let us now examine why this concept is wrong. I am addressing that part of your personality where you hold the misconception. First, not everything that makes you happy is automatically selfish and damaging to another merely because it makes you happy. Quite the contrary. As a happy person, you are better able to bring happiness and joy to others. You are entitled to the same consideration for yourself as another person. Only as a free, strong, and happy person can you have fulfillment in life and be constructive in your environment. In order to accomplish this, you have to give yourself consideration, you have to respect your own rights, and they will not conflict with the interests and rights of others. If sometimes it appears that way, ascertain the truth with absolute self-honesty. There are no fixed rules to determine whether actions are right or wrong when they appear to be against the interests of another person. However, it is essential to become completely aware of all your wishes, impulses, and motives. Only in that way can you discriminate and judge which one is selfish and which one is not.

As to the actual selfishness that seems, consciously or unconsciously, so advantageous and desirable: In reality selfishness cannot offer any advantage to you, even if it seems so at the moment. The higher your consciousness is, the more absolute will this conviction be in you. At the moment it may be difficult for you to understand this truth, and then you should just strive toward this fuller vision as a goal. But the true concept cannot become part of you as long as you try to force it upon yourself; as long as you act in the right way because you think you should; as long as the decision is not wholly your own and therefore free. In the meantime, all you can and should do is to be honest with yourself.

When it still seems to you that the selfish act would be more desirable, contemplate the following: An isolated event, with all its causes and effects, will have a different aspect than the same event would in its larger context. In other words, a particular incident may actually seem to warrant the view that selfishness is advantageous. But if you follow through the chain reactions, you are bound to gain a different perspective. The different view will give you the desire and activate the free will to decide for the unselfish act rather than be driven to it as before. This in itself will make a tremendous difference. It will automatically open a new vista, showing you that selfishness is not advantageous, either now or in the long run. It is divorced from reality. As long as you see only the first effects of an action, you do not possess a view of the whole picture. It is only a segment, and the segment cannot convey the whole.

Let us say, you are shown a little stone from a big house. You can tell certain facts by looking at the stone: the quality and material, as well as the color. But you cannot tell what the house looks like from seeing the stone. You can judge neither its beauty, its architecture, nor the proportions and furnishings of the rooms.

It is the same with the inner and outer actions, attitudes, and reactions of the human being. By considering only the immediate effect, you take it upon yourself to pronounce judgment upon the whole picture with only a segment available. You need to extend your view, so that you are in a position to have a truer vision. This does not mean to accept something on faith; nor does it mean that by being good, you will be rewarded in the hereafter. The effect of right action can be seen here and now, while you are still on this earth plane.

When you think or feel that selfishness would be to your advantage, you are leaving out the obvious. You fail to connect cause and effect, and therefore your view is blurred. But you do not need supernatural vision or metaphysical knowledge to put two and two together. You need only to think, reach a little further, and see what is right in front of your eyes.

Let us suppose you have to make a choice between a selfish and an unselfish act. The unselfish act does not seem to bring you benefit, at least not directly. However, if you are objectively convinced that it is beneficial as such, be it for the world at large or for a small group, or for one other person, it is bound to benefit you too in some way, perhaps not always immediately, but often much sooner than you think. This conviction will grow in you. It will become an inner fact, but only if you have made a full and wholehearted decision for the unselfish act. Decide for it only because you are convinced it is right, and not compulsively, because you want to receive a reward, whether in the form of affection, love, approval, or to obligate others, or because you believe that God will reward you for having been a good child. Your action must be self-chosen for its own sake, regardless who seems to benefit from it immediately. When you do so, you will be at one with yourself. This will widen your horizon and raise your consciousness to the necessary maturity. The truth will then dawn on you that selfishness is not advantageous and is definitely not in your interest. Or, to put it differently, unselfishness is healthily "selfish."

I said before that performing an unselfish act for a reward turns the act into a selfish one. However, if you do the right thing in the right and mature way without ulterior motives and out of free choice, you will reap a reward of another sort, namely the good feeling of being at one with yourself, the security that only self-respect can offer. To do something wholeheartedly gives added self-respect that is a decided advantage manifesting in many ways. It will give you, among other things, the strength to overcome many a weakness for which you may despise yourself. It will reduce certain fears and anxieties, especially when dealing with other people. Your fear of others is always based on your feeling weak and inadequate. By coming to terms with your confusions, by making independent decisions for carrying out unselfish acts, thus being at one with yourself, you gain the self-respect which reduces the very inadequacy and self-contempt that make you weak and fearful toward others.

I cannot emphasize strongly enough that it is all-important whether or not you act unselfishly because you truly want to or because you think you have to. As long as the conviction that makes you want to is lacking, you have to continue the work of self-search, of examining your motives and concepts in comparison with objective truth, until you arrive at the point of conviction. Only then are you capable of making a free choice that is not driven by compulsion. This, in turn, will show you that unselfishness is not a yoke that you have to take on against your inner conviction. Instead, you will see without a doubt that unselfishness is really "selfish" in a healthy sense, and that it is to your advantage, provided your motives are right, your decision free, your reactions mature.

This will free you of the misconception that selfishness could make you happy if you were allowed to indulge in it. The other misconception, that happiness is selfish and is therefore forbidden, exists because of this misconception. Because of these wrong conclusions, your inner will cannot function, cannot flow out of you. Each time the desire for happiness manifests, a little inner voice prohibits it so that the inner will is broken. The desire may be reborn on an outer level, but, as I said before, the outer will cannot suffice in bringing you to any goal: it will only tear you apart; it will destroy your inner strength, serenity, and peace.

Try, all of you, to recognize your will; where it comes from, how it feels. If and when you find the inner will blocked, examine where and why you have doubts about the rightfulness of your desire. At times this suspicion may be justified because your desire may actually be harmful to others or to yourself. At times, your desire may be justified, but many unconscious, unhealthy motives may exist together with the healthy ones. At times, a wish may be wholly right and good, but your misconceptions -- about selfishness as well as in other areas -- may prohibit the inner will to function."

THE JOY OF BEING WRONG!

Many people throughout the years have suggested that I write a book. I've never dismissed the notion, but I haven't yet felt the calling to do so in the way that I have felt called to write on this blog, or to write film and television scripts. Nonetheless, I have thought about it, and often when I do, I think of titles. "Full Permission Living" would, of course, be an obvious one, as might "The Truth About Everything."

One of my long-standing favorites, however, is this one:

"The Joy of Being Wrong!"

Yes. The joy of being wrong is... exactly that. A joy. A joy, PL? Yes, because the "need to be right" rests on so many illusions that are out of alignment with the deeper truths of reality that it can literally become the bane of our existence.

Why?

Well, first of all, because the notion of being "right" is rooted in dualistic consciousness, in the illusion of separateness, rather than oneness. In 3D, that illusion was a mainstay of the game. Good versus evil, right versus wrong, my country, politics or religion versus yours, my needs versus your needs, on and on it goes. As a result, in that game, the best case scenarios involved negotiating and compromising away your needs and desires, and the worst meant regular bouts of conflict, battle, and even war ultimately.

Secondly, being right means someone or something else has to be wrong, and so, differences become points of contention and subject to judgment, rather than opportunities for learning, incorporating and enjoying variety. Differences, in other words, must be corrected, not experienced with curiosity or positive interest, sapping much of the richness of diversity out of life.

Third of all, being right is rooted in the energy of pride, the deadliest of the "Seven Deadly Sins." Pride does indeed come before a fall, as the saying goes. It is a house of cards that many relationships and empires have been built upon and collapsed under the weight of. In the most extreme cases, as in the Psychopathic Character Structure, pride is a matter of life and death, where embarrassment or "losing face" is literally a cause to kill and/or die for.

I regularly would say to the members of my groups and classes in a moment when pride and self-righteousness were flaring up, "You have a choice. You could be right, or you could be happy."

Much more to be said on this subject, but suffice it to say for now, folks, discover the joy of being wrong and heave a great sigh of relief... unless you still would like to enjoy another duel or two.



GIVING TO GET OR DOING IT FOR LOVE?

A large percentage of the people I see in my therapy practice are professional artists - actors and film makers, writers and musicians, dancers and painters - and many more are amateur artists, often just as gifted, but not making an income from their gifts directly. So, I have spent a lot of time exploring the nature of creativity over the years, and addressing the various internal forces that can block its fullest expression.

The best book I've ever read on this subject is "The War of Art," by Steven Pressfield, who also wrote one of my favorite novels, "The Legend of Baggar Vance." (The movie with Will Smith and Matt Damon is great, too.)

Pressfield understands something that is key to understanding why artists struggle - that the greatest resistance in each of us is to the greatest calling in our soul.

Pressfield: "The more you love your art/ calling/ enterprise, the more important its accomplishment to the evolution of your soul, the more you will fear it and the more Resistance you will experience facing it."

Most often, that resistance specifically manifests itself in not experiencing creative expression as a giving process.

Here's Pressfield again:

"Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It's a gift to the world and every being in it."

This not only applies to artists, of course. All adults need to "give," to arrive to a place that Erik Erickson called "generativity," a developmental stage of adulthood in which giving back to the world is the compelling desire. Adults who are still trying to get the unmet needs of their childhood fulfilled are going against the tide of their development, and that is why they are frustrated, and that is why they suffer. Creative blocks are the soul's way of letting us know we're going against the flow. We're not giving.

Now, "giving" is a tricky word, so let me clarify. Giving is not doing good deeds. Nor does giving involve "sacrifice" or altruism or self-denial. No. Martyrdom is an elaborate attempt by the ego to get something. Giving in its truest form is the celebration of yourself with others through the loving and joyful expression of your particular gifts. If you are a singer, it means singing. If you are a painter it means painting. If you are an actor it means acting. If you are a teacher, it means teaching. If you are a carpenter, it means building. If you are a chef, it means cooking. And you're doing it because you love to do it, because to be happy you have to do it. You're not doing it to get praise or find self-worth. You're not doing it for the money, but neither are you refusing the money. You receive and enjoy the money as a demonstration of the principle that for adults, giving and receiving are parts of the same motion, like inhaling and exhaling are both part of breathing.

Pressfield: "To labor in the arts for any reason other than love is prostitution."

I would add that, finally, to do anything for any reason other than love is against our true nature.

So, my fellow artists, my fellow adults, conduct this experiment: do only what you love to do in life and see what happens. Discover the support that comes to you when you stop trying to get what you think you don't have and start giving what you truly desire to give.
 

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