Here's a link to a very direct and high-level piece on Eros leaving a relationship: "WHEN THE MAGIC GOES IN RELATIONSHIP."

Also see the FPL post: "WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL" and, of course, the Pathwork Guide lecture: "THE FORCES OF LOVE, EROS AND SEX."


An FPL reader posed a very interesting and challenging question regarding PL's post on COMBINED CHARACTER STRUCTURES: 

"Dear PL, what about the Oral-Rigid mix female? This structure has some masochistic traits but the oral deprivation is more dominant, so the women are largely passive rather than aggressive - but can flare up. I would LOVE to understand this structure more - can you perhaps expand on it a little bit?

Here's PL:

Thanks for writing in, Tia. Challenging question indeed.

A person with an oral-rigid character structure combination is interesting, and perhaps less frequently encountered because the oral cs is quite pre-genital in terms of developmental stage (1st year and a half of life), while the rigid character structure is the only one that occurs during the genital stage of development (4 to 5 years).

This person consequently can present as a contradictory mix of immature neediness and mature competence. If the orality is compensated, in combination with the rigidity, this person can be quite a "doer" - a overly spectacular caretaker type, a "super nurse," for example, but like Edie Falco's "Nurse Jackie," with an underpinning of addiction or the potential for occasional collapse.This person can be simultaneously developed and charged sexually, yet often desire sex for the purposes of emotional support and validation.

An interesting thing to note and consider is that in my practice, I have not encountered this character combination in a male patient.

Thank you for this inquiry, Tia.


This is an exchange I had with an FPL reader in Ireland, who I will refer to as "G." G is curious to understand more about combined character structures.

Here's G:

"Dear Peter

My name is G and I am from Ireland. I am facinated by your website on character structures. I am a third year student of biodynamic psychotherapy in Ireland.

My question for you is : I am a masochistic structure myself and am working hard on healing but I wonder how you deal with combination character structures? For example when I go back in October I will be role playing with my classmates. One man in particular is combined of rigid/hysteric/psychopathic tendencies. What kind of theraputic approach would you use for him and what kind of theraputic tasks could be used for him?

I have found your website the best so far.

Thanking you.


Here's PL:

Hello G - Thank you for contacting me. The question of combined character structures is a fascinating one. The rigid character structure does have substructures, depending on the exact nature of the childhood wounds at around age 4-5, that combine with other pre-oedipal structures, such as masochism, and also vary depending on gender. In women, the "masculine-aggressive" character structure, and the counterpart in men, the "passive-feminine" are common combinations of rigid-masochistic character structures, though these are rarely written about. 

Generally speaking, everyone is a combination of character structures. Rare is the individual who manifests only one character structure. Rather, there are predominances. In terms of  therapeutic approaches, I would say that in any given session or set of sessions, you use the approaches that are appropriate to which character elements are being presented at the time. This is somewhat of an art as well as a science.
Thank you for your thoughtful question and kind words. Feel free to write any time.

All my best,

Here's G again:

"Dear Peter

Thanks for your reply. I am grateful for your information on the rigid masochist. In my email I asked about the male rigid psychopath , can you give me any thoughts on tendencies from this combination structure?

Thanking you."

Here's PL:

G - One thing I can certainly say about a rigid-psychopath or a psychopathic-rigid is you're dealing with an enormous amount of will and pride, and a tremendous need to be in control and to be right, not to mention the slew of broken promises. Don't get into arguments with this person. Address their behaviors and their tone, not the content of what they say, and by all means, do not take them at their word when they make a "commitment."

In terms of treatment, as I said earlier, with any combo, you deal with what's up as per the therapeutic approaches for that structure at any given time.
Good luck!


An FPL reader left this comment on PL's post: "THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHARACTER STRUCTURE": 

"I agree with the first part of this quote (below) but you make the psychopath sound like a good guy or 'Hero' and he is most definitely not. He may appear so with his carefully designed facade but there is no goodness or heroic intent involved."

'Just to clarify, 'psychopathic' is not synonymous with 'sociopathic'. While all sociopaths are psychopaths, not all psychopaths are sociopaths. In fact, many 'heroes' - cops, soldiers, politicians, CEO's and Captain Kirk-types - are psychopaths, in terms of their basic defensive structure." 

Here's PL's response:

Thank you for writing in. Note that the so-called "heroes" that I mentioned in my Psychopathic Character Structure chart, all have something in common - they are willing to lie, steal and/or kill for their cause or their side. That is what makes them psychopathic, regardless of how society reveres them or not. Also note that the psychopath, like every other character structure has a Higher Self underlying the distorted defensive structure, and therefore is always available to use an act of psychopathy for growth and some greater good.


An anonymous FPL reader left this comment on PL's post: "THE SCHIZOID CHARACTER STRUCTURE":
Enjoyed the article. I strongly relate to this state of being. My problem is wanting to change - I don't like it's effects but the nature of the condition blocks change. Leaving the world looks like a great option, rather than trying to ground into it. How can I want to change if the nature of the condition makes engaging the world appear so pathetic, pitiful and ignorant? I often think of humanity as quite pathetic. Of those who engage the world as ignorant, and the process of engaging the world as completely undesirable. I'd change if I could, but I'm quite powerless over this world view as it's been with me since the first months of birth - as you have suggested - and I believe, began before with a resistance to the act of incarnation itself.
And yes, I am a therapist and teacher who helps many connect with their spiritual side - but dealing with anything outside of this is painful and overwhelming."

Here's PL:

Thank you for sharing these very personal thoughts and feelings. As I said to the previous FPL reader who wrote in about the Psychopathic Character Structure, every person's personality has as its foundation a Higher Self that is not rooted in the defense mechanisms, limitations and confines of a character structure. That Higher Self is essentially who we are. 
Also, understand that while there may indeed have been some "last minute" resistance  in our descending soul when incarnating as a physical human being, the plan itself is always a highly conscious one that includes the tools we need to become self-actualized if we desire. 
The fact that you are engaged in helping others connect to their spiritual side, and the fact that you are writing to me, indicates some thread of a desire to change and grow on your part, and some level of knowingness that it is possible. It may require a fair amount of determined self-work to energize yourself in that direction, but as I frequently say to my patients, this is not a "wait-'till-the-end-to-get-your-reward" kind of process. Once you engage in an intensive healing process, mind-body-emotions-spirit, you can begin to reap the benefits immediately.
You don't sound like you have given up on these possibilities yet. Know that it is always a choice.


Contrary to the way it’s most often portrayed in the movies, time travel, while definitely possible, is never to a place on your own time line. When you travel back to the “past,” it can only be to a parallel line of reality, even if it is one that very, very closely resembles the current one you’re in. Or on. The so-called “Grandfather Paradox,” a staple of science fiction, where you go back into the past and kill your grandfather, thereby eliminating the possibility that you would ever have been born and been able to eventually go back in time to kill your grandfather, is in fact, a fictional dilemma. Why? Because the grandfather you would be killing would be in a parallel line of reality, and therefore a different version of himself, which means that the you that would never be born would be, or would have been, a different version of you. (Likewise, the “Marty” that was disappearing in “Back To The Future” because he was inadvertently preventing his parents from ever meeting, couldn’t be the Marty who went back to the past, because that past was a parallel line of reality, and that disappearing Marty was a different version of himself.)
Get it?


Well, actually, if you're reading this, which means you're in my reality and haven't become a "Whatever Happened To..." for me, then you may already have noticed that we're on a "new Earth," which is to say a 5D version of Earth. Yep. Sources say we shifted as planned on 12/21/12, as predicted by the Mayans thousands of years ago, and by many other soothsayers since. Obviously, it didn't mean getting hit by a comet or starting a nuclear conflagration or succumbing to a deadly plague, although there were some natural and man-made disasters for sure in the months leading up to the shift, and many human beings and animals continue to leave the planet in record numbers. 

But here we are, well into 2013. We made it!

Disappointed? Were you hoping for a "big bang" of some sort? Does the world still look like it did in 3D to you? Well... take another look. The rules have changed. That is the first round of the shifting process. Next come the outer changes that always flow from inner changes, and many of you made big inner changes in 2012. This first quarter of the new year/new Earth was a chance to catch our collective breaths, but my sources and many people around me say things are heating up again, getting ready for the next Wave.

Yep, those bigger and bigger outer changes are coming, and coming soon, changes that will make the superstorms of last November, and the tragedy of the school shootings in Connecticut, on the dark side, and Barack Obama's re-election and the election of Elizabeth Warren and several other more socially conscious Democratic women to the Senate, on the positive side, look tame. In any case, those kind of remnants of the 3D shake-out are not what's most important to focus on, now.

What is important is to discover and practice how to use the new operating system that's been downloaded into our reality.

Here are some of the basics:

 1. Murphy's Law is officially reversed. The old adage - "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong" (See the Pathwork Guide Lecture: "The Superstition of Pessimism") - is now re-written: "Anything that can go right will go right... if you let it." 

What does that mean? 

It means you can stop swimming against the current if you want. The powerful river that is the force of our Higher Selves is inevitably taking us downstream to our first best destiny. That's always been true. The 3D game, however, has been to make that ride challenging by having obstacles to overcome, adversaries to confront, resistance to our inner callings, and belief systems rooted in dualistic ideas like good and bad, right and wrong, worthy or unworthy, etc. Now, in 5D, you can easily turn around and go with the flow and let the current support your journey at a much accelerated rate, and with significantly less effort.

2. Creating your reality and its experiences from your emotions and your ego is obsolete. Creating your reality from the vibrations of your Higher Self, supported by and in collaboration with the human and universal collective, is the 5D way of living. 

Whew! What does that mean?

It means, first of all, that you can get off the emotional rollercoaster ride of 3D. On that ride, in that game, if your ego deemed something to be good (for it), you experienced an emotional high and a feeling of victorious inflation in your personality; if the ego felt defeated or disappointed, you experienced depression and feelings of failure or worthlessness in your personality self. In 5th Dimensional consciousness, because you are always aware that you are connected to everyone and to All That Is, and aware that when you are creating your reality it is the energy of All That Is and your Higher Self channeling through you, you are egoless, and therefore, not prone to excessive emotionality. You are in, as it is aptly called, "The Zone." In The Zone, there is no judgment, so dualism falls away. Antiquated notions like winning and losing, success or failure, give way to just experiencing your creations in the moment with fascination, excitement and harmony.

[On a personal note, as an emotional person of Italian heritage (in my fading 3D life), I can feel the loss of this one in my ever-quieting emotional body. Those highs and lows were addictive. In fact, the attachment to those surges of emotion, the adrenaline-rushing hysteria of it all, have been the source of many other addictions in human beings. One of my favorite movie moments, speaking of an addiction to food and drama, was when "Primo," the chef in "Big Night," brother of Stanley Tucci's character, sung the praises for a particular dish made in Italy by proclaiming: "Lasagne bolognese so good you have to kill yourself!"]

3. Time isn't really real. (Thank you James Taylor and Albert Einstein!)

That's right. In 5D, events do not have to "take time" in the way we are used to, nor is time something we need to be in a "race" against. Rather, time in 5D is merely an "environment" we travel through, a climate we play in. If we desire, we can slow down or speed up time, consciously. We already did this in 3D unconsciously, experiencing "time flying" when we're doing something we enjoy, or things "taking forever" when we're impatient. 

This of course effects the idea of an "aging process," as well. Instead of time being an enemy, it is merely something to use and enjoy as we see fit, and aging can be experienced as a process of refinement and growing into depths of joy and selfhood never before known to us. 

4. The past is no longer prologue. In fact, the past, as such, is more or less merely a flexible representation of the present. 


See, once the emotional body has been cleared, which is what everyone in an holistic therapy/healing process has been working on lo these many years, once the feelings caused by the ideas we have carried around inside about what our childhoods and earlier life experiences were, once they have been released, we discover that the past is much more pliable as a reality than we thought. Not only does the past stop influencing our present, we can rewrite is just as if it were Act One of a screenplay we're creating. Any event, no matter how damaging we have thought it was for us in 3D, can be now seen as beneficial to who we are now. And furthermore, you can discover that who you thought you were in 3D no longer has to represent who are are now. This is truly the rebirth you have been hearing about, only without having to go through another childhood, but rather, a birth into a higher level of existence.

More on the new 5D rules to come, folks. But take a good look around and try out your new self. You've done some great clearing work to arrive to this place, and the treasures you prepared for yourself are ready to start manifesting. Say good-bye to what was, including to who you were, keep clearing if there are still some dust bunnies hanging around, and saddle up for the next quarter on the 2013 ride.

Oh, and you can still have lasagna to die for if you really want!


One of my favorite books ever written by a psychotherapist is called: "Is There Life After Analysis?" by Alma Bond, Ph. D.

Here's what Dr. Bond had to say about what makes for a successful course of therapy:

“...the ability to understand oneself, to love, to hate, to work, to mourn, to allow oneself pleasure when appropriate, to maintain a relatively stable mood, to know who one is and be comfortable with it, to see oneself and the world realistically, to be independent of one's parents or one's therapist, to remain emotionally and physically healthy in the face of anxiety and the ‘slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’, and to take over the role of the therapist when the treatment is over. In a manner of speaking, the primary motive of psychotherapy is to make the therapist obsolete.”

Yes! I have frequently said that if I am doing my job as a therapist correctly, I am continually putting myself out of business! [I refer you to my Stages of Healing piece for my take on the final stages of therapy even after you've stopped seeing a therapist.]

Now, notice that Alma doesn't say that one has to be issue-free to be done with therapy, but rather that one has to be able to honestly see oneself and be able to treat/confront the issues when they show themselves.

Here's more from Dr. Bond on what takes the place of analysis after it is completed:

“The definitive answer to the question of what takes place after therapy can only be answered by the character of the individual patient. Every patient who ends therapy will do something different with his life. My first result was that I became my own therapist. I began to work on my dreams in earnest. I also had more time and energy to throw myself into my career. In two years, I doubled my therapy practice, then went onto writing. Now, in present time, in this new era of my life, the force of energy I once devoted to therapy, and before that to being neurotic, is now focused on my writing career. I feel it is fueled by exactly the same source of power. We only have so much of it; if it is going into conflict, it is unavailable for work. Some will spend this energy enriching their family life, others in deepening their knowledge of the interest of their choice. Some may change their careers altogether. Still others may buy themselves the time and leisure to travel...”

How great, huh? To have all that energy back? Energy that was first locked up in our neurotic defenses and character structures, and then the energy that had to be devoted to the hard excavation and demolition work of those structures in therapy. That's a lot of energy! Having all of that back can do wonders for fulfilling oneself sexually and in love, in health and in our chosen paths to creativity and generativity. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! So, come on people, put me out of business already!

I just want to add a note about meditation here. Many people I know who are following some kind of spiritual path end up feeling very frustrated. They've read The Course in Miracles or Conversations With God or watched The Secret a hundred times and they just seem unable to make use of the Laws of Attraction. Well, here's the thing - all of the promises contained in those and many other spiritual teachings are real. We are meant to attain the fulfillment of our deepest desires, and we do create and/or attract our own reality. And meditation does "work." In fact, there's a cute little piece from the Huffington Post, called "How Meditation Makes You Nicer."

BUT... and it's a big but... you are always going to create and attract from your unconscious and subconscious first, so if there is a lot of conflict and negativity in there, you're going to find a lot of crap coming into your life before any good stuff does. You can't wallpaper over the unresolved issues, even with a valid meditation practice. You might achieve some level of "niceness" and glimpses of peacefulness, but it won't last. That's where the hard work of therapy comes in. I wish there was another way, but there aren't any end runs around this, and there arean't any magic pills! However, after therapy, watch what happens when you meditate for real. It's easy. All you need is love.

P.S. Last I heard, Alma Bond was alive and well and writing in the Florida Keys.
I'm coming, Alma!


Understand that nothing bad can happen unless you define it as bad, and no course you’re on is irrevocable; this is simply a moment for you to experience and embrace change. You’re a caterpillar that has become a butterfly, and you’re out of the cocoon now for the first time, but you haven’t yet tried your wings, so you’re not sure that you can fly. But you have those wings for a reason. You can fly. 
And by the way, don’t focus on meeting anyone else’s expectations of you. They’re not real and they’re not actual demands on you.

(From a behind the scenes step-father)

CITY ROCK'S 4TH VIDEO: "The Heat Wave!"

This is more like a short than a trailer, and it presents the two main female leads in the City Rock series, Jennie, Frank Cello's erstwhile girlfriend, and Mindy, his enchanting neighbor who lives on the same floor of his apartment building. The short also shows us a bit more of the personal relationship Frank has with the ghost of "City Rock," a young man who died on Frank's watch, and now serves as his tormenting advisor.

Enjoy the video (Click the lower right button to watch full screen) and totally enjoy the musical renditions by sycicWALRUS!


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