Well, here's an article, called "Unfreedom Of Choice?" based on a ridiculous but popular belief that suggests that the reason so many people are either not satisfied in a relationship, or avoid relationships altogether is because there are too many choices - kind of like a grass is always greener syndrome.

Here's an excerpt from the article:

"Are you always looking around for something better: a better job, a better apartment... a better relationship? For example, let's say you finally found a pretty great love catch. Do you still find yourself tempted to keep going back to that large online dating ocean, in hopes of finding an even bigger, better, more 100% perfect catch? If so, your search for the better might be making your life worse.
Barry Schwartz, Ph.D., psychology professor at Swarthmore College, and author of 'The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less' has concluded that excess proliferation of choice makes people more anxious and less happy - even clinically depressed at times. Schwartz defines people who tend to check out all the options as 'maximizers' and believes they tend to question whether they've made the right choice, then later regret their choices."

Come on, Doc! Why do so many of the practitioners of the healing arts and sciences still look outside of the human being for the causes of our dysfunctions? Maximizers?! Ugh! How about this idea? A person who can't make a choice or feel satisfied with a choice because there's always a potential "better" choice is trapped in an Oral Character Structure with a narcissistic personality disorder overlay. A mouthful yes, and it is a real double whammy, too.

The orality part of it is what I call the "need-greed complex," in which there can never be enough (see my Oral Character Structure post for details), and the narcissistic part of it is that desire to be "the special person of a special person," as one narcissistic person so aptly described it. Problem there is, as soon as said special person picks you, and is therefore not elusively out of reach and elevated, he or she is no longer special.

Tough one, huh?


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