REPOST: SO GREAT A NEED TO BE GREAT, I WON'T DO ANYTHING!/PL RESPONDS!

A reader, "D," sent me this request:

Hey Peter,

I have a request. Can you write about the need to be the best, the need to be better than, the "if I'm not great then I won't do it" shit, and how to break this aspect of the ego in your blog. This is a biggy.

D


Here's PL:

Okay, D - Here's my response:

First of all, this isn't really a "biggy," but rather, just yet another common maneuver by the ego of the little "child self" clanging around the subconscious. It is a little tricky, though, because the belief is set up in reverse, so the person holding the belief won't realize what they're doing. In other words, "needing to be the best, better or great" as a prerequisite to doing something sounds on the surface like the person in question has high standards for whatever they are creating. Maybe said person even thinks they are a perfectionist. It sounds admirable, right?

Wrong!

Here's what's actually happening and how the belief should be written: "I don't want to do anything (give of myself to the world), but I'm going to cover up that negative intention with a perfectionistic mask, so my selfishness will appear to be something elevated."

Such a person is living through a mask that's directed toward trying to fill their psychological tank by "getting," when in fact, structurally, the way adults are naturally made to operate optimally is by "giving." Giving not meaning doing good deeds, of course, but creating, expressing oneself joyfully, living in pursuit of one's highest excitement and loving fully, including first and foremost, loving oneself.

Get it?

Thanks for the request, D!