I left a comment today on an article on the Huffington Post entitled: "Why Forgiveness is Overrated." The piece, by Erica Manfred, author of "He's History, You're Not: Surviving Divorce After Forty," is... well... as 3D as the title of that book suggests. Anyway, here's my comment to Erica:
"Forgiveness isn't an action you can take; it is a place you can arrive to. The action you can take, however, is that of owning your own responsibility when a relationship ends 'badly,' including owning your responsibility for entering into or staying in a relationship that is destructive and/or abusive. It's casting yourself as a victim that prevents healing. Taking responsibility may or may not lead to some kind of forgiveness, but either way, it can't be faked. Neither can healing."