This is a post from the holidays, but expresses a message for any time of year.
Okay, then, the two most guilt-trip-ridden, obligation-driven holidays are over, Christmas, of course, far surpassing Thanksgiving, and any other holiday, not only in guilt, but also in sudden deaths from heart attacks.(For one explanation of why we do this to ourselves, see the FPL piece: "DON'T LET YOUR HEART BREAK ON CHRISTMAS!")
Another reason we end up undermined (and overfed ) during the holidays, and in general throughout our lives, is that we don't listen to what our relatives and others are saying to us... energetically.
Mom might say things like: "You never know how long I'm going to be around, so you better come home for the holidays or..."
Dad might say: "Remember, your family members are the only ones you can ever truly count on being there for you, so..."
You might say to yourself: "I don't think we got enough presents for the kids. They're going to feel deprived."
Ready to click on the guilt machine, yet? Well, wait before you do and ask yourself this: How do you feel when someone lays a guilt trip on you? Do you feel an increase in your desire to engage with them, an excitement about visiting them more often, joyful in your gift giving? Of course not, unless you're stuck within the confines of your masochistic character structure, and love feeling guilty and anxious.
No. In truth, when someone guilt-trips you, you feel repelled by their attempts to manipulate you, don't you? And the idea of seeing them becomes less joyful and more burdensome. Yet, over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house you go, and on into debt from breaking the bank on Amazon Prime (Don't you love that same day delivery?!).
Well, guess what? Your feelings of repulsion are not a measure of your "selfishness," but rather an accurate energetic/emotional response to the true message that the guilt-tripper is sending to you energetically, a message that you're ignoring because you're paying more attention to the words than the energy. That's right, when Mom threatens you with her pending death, or Dad threatens you with your pending abandonment, they are actually saying "Don't come home for the holidays. Stay away. Go. Do your own thing. Live your life. We spent two decades taking care of you. Now, we don't want to cook or put up a tree. We want to go on a cruise for the holidays. Alone. Leave the nest already!"
And when you're dumping tons of toys on your kids and you notice that they get increasingly agitated as the present opening goes on and on, it's because energetically, without words, you are saying to them: "Aren't I a good dad? Don't you love Mommy? Won't you always appreciate me? A lot?!" In other words, you're telling your kids: "Giving you all these gifts is a real hassle and expense, and I wish I didn't have to do it to earn your love!"
So, here's the news - You don't!
First of all, "All Love Is Unconditional," so you can't earn more. (See FPL"S Truth About Everything: Part TWO) And like all animals and all other living beings, a human being's first language is energy. Not English, Spanish, Arabic, etc. Our first language, and the way we truly communicate to each other, first and foremost, is with vibrations of energy. "Vibes." But unlike animals, human beings have egos and intellects that can override our nature and inherent energy sensors when engaging with others. As a result, through spoken language, we communicate superficially from beliefs and social conditioning that are very often at odds with how we really feel, and therefore, against our well-being and the greater good of others.
So, folks, don't go home for the holidays or spend your hard-earned money on light sabers or selfie sticks. Have some Johnny Walker Gold Reserve by the fire with your lover, let your kids actually have the time and space to play with one or two thoughtful presents, and leave your parents alone!