Please, APA... no PRFS! It's bad enough I had to write a post decrying your label, "Foot Orgasm Syndrome," in a recent post.

[NOTE: APA = American Psychiatric Association; PRFS = Partner Replacement Fantasy Syndrome]

Yes, there is an article on this subject. It's in Slate, and it asks the question of whether or not it's "emotional cheating" on a love partner to be fantasizing about somebody else during sex? In a pretty responsible way, the article doesn't take a simplistic yes or no position, nor does the resident expert quoted throughout the piece, David Schnarch, a renowned sex therapist who helps long-term couples work through waning desires. Schnarch says, and I agree with him to this extent, that the only time fantasizing is a "problem" in a relationship is if it regularly takes the place of actual sex with your partner.

True, David, though relevant here is that most people don't know the difference between a fetish and a perversion. 

A fetish is a fascination, or "fixation," as Freud called it, with a particular act or object that gets the fetishist aroused, which then leads to a desire for actual sex and orgasm. (See FPL post HERE.)

A perversion, on the other hand, is a fixation that takes the place of actual sex with a partner, or the orgasm experience.

Just a little technical information, folks.

Schnark goes on to talk about why fantasies of others may come into the sex life of loving partners: 

“Boredom in the bedroom isn’t a sign that you’re not sexually compatible; it’s a sign that you need to take another growth step that will make the two of you nervous."

Yes to that, David, if by "nervous" you mean in reaction to being open, revealed and excited, as in charged up with Eros! (Read the amazing Pathwork Guide Lecture on "Love, Eros and Sex" HERE)

Great sex, which at the highest levels comes with Eros, makes us nervous, because it blows us out of our limited physical vibration and connects us with higher dimensions of our selves, as high as 9th dimensional consciousness in some cases. That's high!

Here's a quote from another great Pathwork Guide Lecture,  "The Spiritual Symbolism and Significance of Sexuality": 

"In the human realm the power of sexuality can, in its most ideal form, be the greatest 'representative' of spiritual existence. There is no other human experience that conveys so fully what spiritual bliss, oneness, and timelessness are: the timeless Now, beyond the confines of time."

So, look, folks, and I do mean "look." Don't judge. Just observe, see where you're at. If you use fantasy in a way that enhances your sex life with your partner, then why not? Even better if you can share your fantasy with your partner to heat and stir things up even more. On the other hand, if your fantasy life is a substitute for the real thing, then some self-work in the area of intimacy might be called for.

Finally, you can read the FPL "Truth About Everything, Part One: Sex is the Most Powerful Way to Access Source Energy" HERE.

Oh. And have fun!


Homer said...


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