Please, APA... no PRFS! It's bad enough I had to write a post decrying your label, "Foot Orgasm Syndrome," in a recent post.
[NOTE: APA = American Psychiatric Association; PRFS = Partner Replacement Fantasy Syndrome]
Yes, there is an article on this subject. It's in Slate, and it asks the question of whether or not it's "emotional cheating" on a love partner to be fantasizing about somebody else during sex? In a pretty responsible way, the article doesn't take a simplistic yes or no position, nor does the resident expert quoted throughout the piece, David Schnarch, a renowned sex therapist who helps long-term couples work through waning desires. Schnarch says, and I agree with him to this extent, that the only time fantasizing is a "problem" in a relationship is if it regularly takes the place of actual sex with your partner.
True, David, though relevant here is that most people don't know the difference between a fetish and a perversion.
A fetish is a fascination, or "fixation," as Freud called it, with a particular act or object that gets the fetishist aroused, which then leads to a desire for actual sex and orgasm. (See FPL post HERE.)
A perversion, on the other hand, is a fixation that takes the place of actual sex with a partner, or the orgasm experience.
Just a little technical information, folks.
Schnark goes on to talk about why fantasies of others may come into the sex life of loving partners:
“Boredom in the bedroom isn’t a sign that you’re not sexually compatible; it’s a sign that you need to take another growth step that will make the two of you nervous."
Yes to that, David, if by "nervous" you mean in reaction to being open, revealed and excited, as in charged up with Eros! (Read the amazing Pathwork Guide Lecture on "Love, Eros and Sex" HERE)
Great sex, which at the highest levels comes with Eros, makes us nervous, because it blows us out of our limited physical vibration and connects us with higher dimensions of our selves, as high as 9th dimensional consciousness in some cases. That's high!
Here's a quote from another great Pathwork Guide Lecture, "The Spiritual Symbolism and Significance of Sexuality":
"In the human realm the power of sexuality can, in its most ideal form, be the greatest 'representative' of spiritual existence. There is no other human experience that conveys so fully what spiritual bliss, oneness, and timelessness are: the timeless Now, beyond the confines of time."
So, look, folks, and I do mean "look." Don't judge. Just observe, see where you're at. If you use fantasy in a way that enhances your sex life with your partner, then why not? Even better if you can share your fantasy with your partner to heat and stir things up even more. On the other hand, if your fantasy life is a substitute for the real thing, then some self-work in the area of intimacy might be called for.
Finally, you can read the FPL "Truth About Everything, Part One: Sex is the Most Powerful Way to Access Source Energy" HERE.
Oh. And have fun!
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query fetish. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query fetish. Sort by date Show all posts
FOOT FETISH? SPANKING? THE SHRINKS NOW SAY YOU'RE GOOD TO GO!
This is from a report on Slate.com this morning:
"The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the bible of psychiatry published by the American Psychiatric Association, currently defines "unusual" sexual turn-ons as paraphilias. Paraphilias include everything from foot fetishes, S&M and erotic eating to exhibitionism and pedophilia. These paraphilias are now to be considered harmless unless the person experiencing them feels distressed about their preferences or if their unusual sexual practices are harmful to others."
"Simply put, the latest edition of the manual, DSM V, will say that happy kinksters don’t have a mental disorder. But unhappy kinksters do," wrote Slate's Jillian Keenan.
Well, we're getting there. Here in 5D, the "Pleasure Principle" is in full force. Like the survival instinct, our instinct to follow pleasure is hard-wired into the human organism. Simply stated, the Pleasure Principle comes down to this: if it feels good, it is good, with the one not-so-small caveat - that in order to know what truly feels good, you have to actually be in touch with your body and your feelings which, because of the wounds we all endure in childhood, requires a fair amount of self-work first in order to dismantle the defenses created to survive those early slings and arrows. Once in touch with yourself in that way, you can then live well by following the dictates of your pleasure principle and Full Permission Living.
Here's an excerpt from the Pathwork Guide Lecture entitled, "MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE":
"Experience contains the pleasure principle. The possibility for utter bliss is contained in the life force. It is your inborn longing to partake of this experience, which becomes possible when your entire organism is in harmony with reality, when you no longer fight against it because of misunderstandings."
The "in harmony with reality" part is key in this way - to have sadistic or masochistic fantasies, and to consciously and mutually indulge them in sex play, is fun. But to actually be sadistic or masochistic in your intent, and to act out those aspects in your relationship life is not. In his book, "Dark Eros," Thomas Moore, a former monk and Jungian analyst and writer, writes that it is precisely this topic [sadomasochism] that needs to be explored mentally, even spiritually, through fantasy and play, in order to prevent it from erupting into anti-social, or even criminal acts in the flesh.
So, back to your fetishes... the bottom line is this: if your sexual fantasy life, and the concomitant games you play in bed (or in the kitchen or the dungeon), don't stress you out or hurt anyone else, well...
"The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the bible of psychiatry published by the American Psychiatric Association, currently defines "unusual" sexual turn-ons as paraphilias. Paraphilias include everything from foot fetishes, S&M and erotic eating to exhibitionism and pedophilia. These paraphilias are now to be considered harmless unless the person experiencing them feels distressed about their preferences or if their unusual sexual practices are harmful to others."
"Simply put, the latest edition of the manual, DSM V, will say that happy kinksters don’t have a mental disorder. But unhappy kinksters do," wrote Slate's Jillian Keenan.
Well, we're getting there. Here in 5D, the "Pleasure Principle" is in full force. Like the survival instinct, our instinct to follow pleasure is hard-wired into the human organism. Simply stated, the Pleasure Principle comes down to this: if it feels good, it is good, with the one not-so-small caveat - that in order to know what truly feels good, you have to actually be in touch with your body and your feelings which, because of the wounds we all endure in childhood, requires a fair amount of self-work first in order to dismantle the defenses created to survive those early slings and arrows. Once in touch with yourself in that way, you can then live well by following the dictates of your pleasure principle and Full Permission Living.
Here's an excerpt from the Pathwork Guide Lecture entitled, "MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE":
"Experience contains the pleasure principle. The possibility for utter bliss is contained in the life force. It is your inborn longing to partake of this experience, which becomes possible when your entire organism is in harmony with reality, when you no longer fight against it because of misunderstandings."
The "in harmony with reality" part is key in this way - to have sadistic or masochistic fantasies, and to consciously and mutually indulge them in sex play, is fun. But to actually be sadistic or masochistic in your intent, and to act out those aspects in your relationship life is not. In his book, "Dark Eros," Thomas Moore, a former monk and Jungian analyst and writer, writes that it is precisely this topic [sadomasochism] that needs to be explored mentally, even spiritually, through fantasy and play, in order to prevent it from erupting into anti-social, or even criminal acts in the flesh.
So, back to your fetishes... the bottom line is this: if your sexual fantasy life, and the concomitant games you play in bed (or in the kitchen or the dungeon), don't stress you out or hurt anyone else, well...
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