A CHRISTMAS CAROL 2018!

Jacob Marley to Mitch McConnell on his deathbed?

Marley: "I wear the chain I forged in life! I made it link by link and yard by yard! I girded it of my own free will and by my own free will, I wore it! In life, my spirit never rose beyond the limits of my money-grabbing decisions like your Citizens United ruling! Now I am doomed to wander without rest or peace, incessant torture and remorse!

McConnell: But it was only that you were a good man of business, Jacob!

Marley: BUSINESS?! Mankind was my business! The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence, were all my business. The dealings of my legal trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!

McConnell: Why do you lament?

Marley: Because I seek to intervene for good in human matters, and have lost my power forever.

McConnell: Huh.

Marley: Ahh, you have no idea the length and breadth of the ponderous chain you yourself bear.

McConnell: Oh. Shit!




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