This question is asked by Arjuna Ardagh, who refers to himself as an "awakening coach," in an interesting article entitled "Why It Is Wise To Worship Women":

"Have you loved for real, in a total and undefended way?"

It is an interesting read, and relates to some beautiful passages in Mark Epstein's book, "Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart," which I've written about before here.

Here's an excerpt from Ardagh's article, followed by a repost of my piece: The Sexual Diet of Buddhas":

"Somewhere around the second wall from the center, she casts the veils of her personality aside, and shows you that she is both a human being and also a portal into something much greater than that. She shows you a wrath that is not hers, but all women's. She shows you a patience that is also universal. She shows you her wisdom. At this point you start to experience the archetypes of women, who have been portrayed as gods and goddesses and mythological figures in every tradition. When you love a woman completely, at the very essence of her being, this is the one divine feminine flame."


This is one of the most amazing passages on sexuality I've ever read, from Mark Eptein's book, "GOING TO PIECES WITHOUT FALLING APART." (Mark is a psychotherapist and a practicing Buddhist.) In the chapter on "Passion," Epstein describes the practice of sexual tantra and how surrendering to the feminine in sexual union is what brings us closer to true bliss. As I said in my blog entry, "The Poetry of Sexuality/Women are the Bridge," most men that I have talked to who have experienced deep sexual pleasure understand this idea, and the special nature of the woman's body.

Here's Mark Epstein:

"In sexual tantra, it is understood that most of our standard sexual conventions must stand on their heads. The male partner is encouraged to admit his dependence upon his lover, to continually subordinate his need to dominate or control, and to develop a reverent attitude toward the woman's unfathomable arousal. 'Her lap is the sacrificial altar,' reads one sacred text, 'her hair, the sacrificial grass.' In the culmination of practice, the man is urged to absorb the female sexual secretion in orgasm. Completely reversing the usual state of affairs in which the man ejaculates into the woman, the lovers are taught to do something different, to rest instead in the female response. No longer responsible for 'giving' his partner an orgasm, the man simply becomes part of it. While turning his own organs and fluids into offerings, the man is encouraged to receive the mysterious female essence as the culmination of the sexual act. Drinking the nectar of pure being, couples are able to realize the union of bliss and emptiness. 'This is the best diet,' reads the Candamaharosana Tantra, 'eaten by all Buddhas."
Footnote: one working definition of "tantra" might be - "an Eastern body of beliefs and practices which, working from the principle that the universe we experience is nothing other than the concrete manifestation of the divine energy that creates and maintains that universe, seeks to ritually appropriate and channel that energy, within the human microcosm, in creative and emancipatory ways."

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