SCHIZOID CHARACTER STRUCTURE

Here's the fourth in my series on Character Structures, again not in chronological order. In fact, this defensive structure is the formed in the very first months of life. As a reminder of how a character structure is formed - When the child’s basic needs are not met, rage, terror, and grief are the ultimate affective responses to that reality. Because the child cannot live in such a state of chronic negative emotion, a defensive structure will be created to ward off these incapacitating feelings. The particular defenses used will be a function of the severity of the trauma, the developmental level of the child, and its genetic strength or weakness. That difference will largely determine the defenses chosen to avoid the affect and cope with the environment. Similarly, the development of the ego, of the self, and of the living sense will be stuck at the point at which these defenses are chosen and cemented into the character structure.

SCHIZOID CHARACTER STRUCTURE

TYPICAL PRESENTING PROBLEMS (when first arriving to therapy

- Lack of feelings, numbness, little or no joy or pleasure in life;
- Inability to engage in intimate relationships;
- Intense fears, paranoia, phobias, panic attacks, dissociative episodes, chronic anxiety, intense perfectionism, procrastination;
- Physical problems that could not be diagnosed medically; hypochondriasis;
- “Existential angst”, questioning one’s right to exist; feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness;
- Suicidal/homicidal ideations, impulses or actions; excessive concerns about death;
- Episodes of explosiveness, which may include physical violence;
- Self-mutilating behavior (biting, burning or cutting of the skin);
- Primary “falling” fear: falling apart;
- Primary holding pattern: holding together
- Primary longing: to feel whole;
- Primary survival struggle: the right to exist.


EARLY ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS
(Developmental Period – Prenatal to First Four Months of Life)

- Mother (or primary caretaker) was chronically any or all of the following very early in the child’s life, including during pregnancy: cold, hostile, rageful, abusive, erratic, unreliable, removed, distant, disconnected emotionally, fearful and/or anxious;
- Eye contact and physical contact between mother and child was avoided by mother, due to mother’s schizoid elements, or interfered with due to physical illness of mother or child, or due to traumatic birth circumstances (Caesarian, premature or breech delivery, incubator, etc.);
- Home environment was chaotic or threatening due to alcohol/drug abuse, violence, poverty, or external traumatic environmental circumstances (i.e. - natural disasters, political oppression, war);
- One or both parents were resentful of child’s presence (exacerbated by being unprepared for child-rearing due to an unwanted pregnancy, youth or other social conditions);
- Child did not meet parents’ idealized expectations of a “perfect baby”, and was greeted with disappointment or avoidance.


BODY STATUS

- Body is often narrow and contracted in an effort to hold together against the fear of falling apart (body may be fuller and more athletic if there are paranoid elements present due to sexualizing by parents); pervasive tension and stiffness throughout the body, with a frozen or wooden quality;
- Head, often large or with a large forehead, is pushed forward, drooping down or off to the side (due to tension created at base of skull to sever the head from the body and feelings);
- Shoulders up (in fear), and arms hang like appendages (to prevent contact with others or violent acting out);
- Feet are often cold and contracted; person is frequently “on their toes”, ungrounded, in the “fight or flight” position (curled, flexed and/or tight in the Achilles tendon);
- Splits in the body are quite marked, most often between the upper and lower halves, but also between front and back and left and right sides, including the eyes, and between the head and the body (correlates to use of splitting defense);
- Twisted spine (trying to get away from the threatening environment or parent that it also needs); person has particular difficulty with the “bow” position;
- Ocular blocks are very common, causing vision problems (doesn’t want to see the coldness or hostility), and the expression in the eyes is often either frozen terror or disconnectedness, with flashes of murderous fury; expression in the eyes is split from the expression of the rest of the face;
- Lack of color to the body and coldness in the extremities; also cold to the touch in the areas of chronic constriction;
- Skin is hypersensitive due to the withdrawal of energy from the exterior surface; touch is experienced as uncomfortable or painful;
- Shallow, constricted breathing (cannot embrace life), and high-pitched or constricted voice; choke response is easily elicited if the person is asked to breathe deeply (or on roller);
- Psychosomatic illnesses (headaches, eczema, digestive and respiratory problems common) due to chronic contractions and de-energized condition which tend to be worse in persons who are more strongly defended;
- Chronic areas of severe tension: base of the skull, joints of the shoulders, legs and hips, the diaphragm, and the ocular segment of the face;
- Dominant spasticities are in the small muscles around joints (fear of moving), so there is either inflexibility or hyperflexibility (more severe because muscles have given out).


ENERGETIC CONDITION

- Energy is withheld from the peripheral structures of the body, those that make contact with the world: the face, hands, genitals and feet (correlates to poor reality testing);
- Organs are not fully connected energetically to the core, but are blocked by chronic tensions at the base of the skull, shoulders, pelvis and hip joints;
- The inner charge tends to be frozen in the core, making the will weak, but also precipitating explosive eruptions because of the compression;
- Energy flow is severely diminished at the waist due to severe contraction in the diaphragm and the separation from sexual feelings, and at the base of the head due to separation of thoughts from feelings;
- Chakras (energy centers): Crown - (spiritual connection) open but asymmetrical; Third Eye - (intuitive abilities) open, but asymmetrical; Throat - (self-expression) contracted and inverted; Heart - (love feelings) contracted and inverted; Solar Plexus - (universal wisdom) partially opened; Sexual - (pleasure and creativity) contracted and inverted; Base – (grounding and connection to physical life) contracted and inverted.


OPERATING MODES OF THE MIND, EMOTIONS AND WILL

- Tremendous efforts are made internally to avoid and control any feelings due to the presence of deep-seated terror and murderous rage, which leads to intense fears of annihilation if feelings are expressed (this later becomes attached to any experiences of perceived rejection or failure); crippling anxiety, panic attacks and phobias often arise when feelings threaten to emerge;
- “As if” feelings are expressed according to what one “should feel” in a given situation, but there is no real spontaneity; self-expression is mechanical and controlled; aggression is expressed through passive withdrawal, though explosions are a potential;
- Feelings are talked about, or thought about, but not really felt or acknowledged as being in the body;
- Will is used predominantly to withdraw from external reality and to freeze feelings internally, so outward, assertive expressions have no energy and are weak and scattered;
- Mental faculties are usually highly developed, frequently with a brilliant intellect; the mind is valued above all else, and deduction, reasoning, calculating, and “figuring things out” logically are the only modes of operating that are trusted; gut feelings and intuition are denigrated and feared; this person is always “in their mind.”

PSYCH0LOGICAL FUNCTIONING

- An inadequate sense of self because of a lack of identification with the body;
- Hypersensitivity and hyperawareness because of weak ego boundaries (correlates to the lack of peripheral charge in the body);
- Poor reality testing;
- Paranoia, from projected rage, which is exacerbated if either parent invested sexual energy in the child;
- Psyche is experienced as a “house of many rooms” without access between them;
- Person feels possessed by a demonic, alien presence or voice at times (introjected hostile parental image);
- Subject to dissociation, depersonalization and fugue states;
- Main defenses: denial, projection, introjection, splitting, disintegration, withdrawal, fragmentation, compartmentalization and intellectualization;
- Typical masks: spiritual or mental arrogance or aloofness (“I am special, I am superior because I am above physical existence.”), exaggerated appearance of serenity or peacefulness (“I am never angry or afraid.”), “Don Quixote”- like Idealized Self Image (“I dream the ‘Impossible Dream”; “I am an unrecognized genius”; “legends in their own mind.”)
- Childhood history may include: frequent nightmares or sleep disturbances, withdrawn behavior with occasional outbursts of rage, autism, pervasive fears, preference for fantasy over reality, psychosomatic illnesses, head-banging or self-mutilation, school phobia.


INTERPERSONAL AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONING

- Reaching out or self-assertion in connecting to others is avoided (very little eye contact or physical closeness can be tolerated);
- Intimacy and emotional and physical letting go are intensely feared, so relating is mental and abstract; others will often experience this person as “spacey” or “not really there”;
- Sexual interaction is mechanical, with fear of losing control; sex is desired mainly to subscribe to a romantic or erotic idea, rather than for actual feeling; some warmth and closeness physically is desired, but in limited quantities; orgasm is not an important objective;
- Others, including love objects, are idealized (positively or negatively) as are relationships, which are seen in a lofty spiritual light with little real human contact.


PREDOMINANT NEGATIVE CORE BELIEFS

- “I should not exist.” “There is something essentially wrong with me.”
- “I am my mind.” “I think therefore I am.”
- “Life is threatening to my life.” “I will survive by deadening myself.”
- “I must control my feelings and others with my mind.” “If I feel, I will disintegrate.”
- “My rage will annihilate others and me.” “The world is a dangerous place.”


HIGHER SELF ASPECTS

- Strong connection to and awareness of the profoundly spiritual nature of life;
- Access to vast universal wisdom and the capacity to teach others how to make the connection to that wisdom;
- Great courage and fearlessness to connect with feelings;
- Great capacity to create and appreciate beauty, including through artistic abilities.


THERAPEUTIC TASKS

- Become grounded and energized in physical life and in the body as a whole;
- Develop basic trust in the self, others and life;
- Become aware of, feel consciously, accept and express the deep primal rage and terror in a non-destructive way without retreating to primitive defenses;
- Face original state of helplessness and hurt underlying perfectionistic attitude;
- Reverse the denial of early trauma at the hands of parents and the environment;
- Develop tolerance for ambivalence in oneself and others (correct “good-or-bad”, “right-or-wrong” and other dualistic images); and heal the splits between thoughts and feelings, and between positive and negative feelings;
- Acknowledge and experience the different aspects of the personality (child, adult, higher self), opening the lines of communication between them, while establishing an identification with the adult self;
- Become aware of the erroneous conclusions, images and beliefs of the mask/false self, and the limitations and unreality of the idealized self image;
- Experience pleasure and expansion and recognize and express one’s higher self aspects with less fear of being annihilated;
- Primary negative expression that needs release: “I hate you!” “I kill you!”
- Primary positive self-affirmation that needs assertion: “I have the right to be.”


THERAPEUTIC APPROACH

- Establish an accepting, non-critical, “human” environment, understanding that trusting the therapist and the environment may take a long time; even fairly well into the treatment, this person can become paranoid;
- Engage the formidable intellect in a playful, patient and respectful way to begin the process of exposing the attitudes and beliefs of the mask, and their fallibility, including wrong conclusions made in childhood;
- Address concrete self-care, daily living tasks that may be ineffectively tended to with information, advice, direct teaching and personal anecdotes to relieve the judgmental attitude towards the self as a failure or outcast;
- Gradually guide the person into their body through breathing and grounding exercises initially, then introduce the roller; touching or hands-on work must be very limited at first, nothing too penetrating or soothing; help the person to feel their feet on the ground, to feel energy in their body, to begin noticing the increasing aliveness;
- Remind the person periodically that they survived their childhood, that the real trauma was in the past;
- Move into the expression of rage using the body once some basic trust in the therapeutic relationship has been established and there is some physical groundedness; remind the person that no one gets destroyed by expressing rage this way; have them look in a mirror to see that they haven’t disintegrated after bodywork;
- When the person has become able to tolerate some exposure of the mask and to feel moderate emotions consistently, more penetrating bodywork and group process can be added to the therapy;
- Help the person recognize their Higher Self aspects, especially their wisdom, to see that their gifts are there even when hidden behind the mask, and that although they have a wounded aspect in their personality, they need not identify with that aspect in order for it to get the help it needs;
- In the later stages of therapy, as the person drops the mask and releases the raw negative feelings, fear of pleasure and expansion must be addressed as it comes up with reassurance, based on their own new experiences, that they can tolerate the energy now and that the fear is not a regression or a setback;
- The major vehicle for healing the inner splits of this structure is the relationship itself; the therapist can reveal his own struggles, imperfections and mistakes at carefully chosen moments, in small doses, reminding the person that neither of them is perfect and that even when there is conflict in their relationship, the connection between them is still a viable and caring one. (Aloofness in the therapist cannot aid someone who wears a mask of aloofness!).


DEFINITIONS

Denial: a primitive defense consisting of an attempt to disavow the existence of unpleasant reality or feeling.

Depersonalization: a state in which the person feels as though he has lost his identity, that he is different or strange or unreal, or that the environment is strange or unreal (“derealization”).

Disintegration: collapsing into a state of disorganized mental chaos.

Dissociation: sudden and temporary alteration in the functions of consciousness, the fracturing of the integration of one’s identity, or the splitting off of certain mental process from the main body of consciousness (i.e. – thinking from feeling)

Fragmentation: functioning as though the psyche is broken up into many separate parts. (When fragmented feelings such as rage are projected, one may feel plagued by many apparently external voices or faces.)

Fugue: an episode in which a person suddenly leaves an intolerable situation or activity in a way that appears to have no connection to what the person was just doing and of which he or she has amnesia afterwards.

Intellectualization: an attempt to avoid objectionable impulses or feelings by escaping from the world of emotions into a world of intellectual concepts and words.

Introjection: incorporating into one’s mental structure an image, usually harsh and not necessarily accurate or complete, of another. (This can be experienced as an inner alien or demonic oppressive presence.)

Projection: the process of throwing out upon another the ideas, feelings or impulses that belong to oneself.

Splitting: compartmentalization of opposite and conflicting affect states; a defense mechanism in which a person, when faced with emotional stress or conflict, views himself or others as all good or all bad, or alternates between idealizing and devaluing the self or another; positive and negative qualities in the self or others are unable to be integrated into cohesive images.

Withdrawal: the turning away from reality and shutting off the perceptive system in order to avoid the anxiety aroused by interpersonal relationships or feelings.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

What is it? It is a state of mind in which there are no boundaries. It is the goal you have chosen. It is the area of your consciousness that motivates you to achieve. It is the compass of your thoughts. If you can dream it...you can achieve it... But you... Gotta want it.

Anonymous said...

I am a very high functioning schizoid who has fired a number of therapists. Recently I have been studying Schizoid Personality Disorder on the internet. Please know that this is the best article I have read to date.

Having written that, has it ever occurred to you non-schizoids that it is rather arrogant to demand that others spend their emotional energy on you -especially in a work environment? I get tired of dealing with gregarious time wasters who belive they are gracing my life with their prattle. It is not so much that I think I am better than they are as it is that they consume energy and do not give anything in return that I deem valuable.

"Intimacy and emotional and physical letting go are intensely feared" Fear? NOT!Usually what I am bottling up is a desire to tell the people who are urging me to "let go" that I am indifferent to whatever has them wound up. I have come to realize when others dislike the fact that I am not emoting as they feel I should what is really going on is that they are not able to dictate my emotional response. Why must I "let go" because others want me to? My emotions are MY EMOTIONS. My energy is MY ENERGY. I do not have to "let go" of anything and that presupposes that I have something I am holding on to. In short, I do not feel as others do because I do not have to. Other people should deal with it.

Anonymous said...

This is me. I've been dealing with a psychologist for the past three months trying to find out what is "wrong" with me. This blog has helped me to put things I couldn't convey into proper words. It has also helped me to understand myself and why things don't work like they should. Thanks a lot for helping me.

Anonymous said...

I have been diagnosed as having "schizoid" traits and I have appreciated this article very much as well. I have satisfying friendships and other social activities, but I seem to have the biggest difficulty in interpersonal situations such as my marriage and with my work partner, where I am expected to work so closely with these people, share decision making, and sacrifice many of my own desires and inclinations for the sake of the relationship. At times, I feel like an "alien" watching people's emotional reactions to things and insistence on following certain rules and roles, and just not getting it - and not wanting to get it, either, because I like the way I am! But I have had some success with having compassion for these people and found that, at least, it made me feel happy that they were feeling happier, and helped things go more smoothly when I was willing to empathize with them and give energy to their concerns, even for short amounts of time. I recently went to several personal growth workshops that focused on awareness of the body and the importance of touch, and these produced major shifts in me. I still have significant inner conflicts around whether I really want to "adapt" to a non-schizoid lifestyle, or whether this is, at least to a large extent, part of my nature and I would enjoy my life more if I did accept my inclinations to want to live alone, avoid irrevocable commitments, etc. That's still a work in progress. Thanks for the article!

tyler said...

after three+ years of confusion, i have come to the conclusion that i have been suffering from the misidentification with my ego that is symptomatic of a schizoid character defense. now, my case might be unique in that it was brought about by extreme and unwise drug use. privileged with living off college-funds set up by my family (i.e. unburdened with having to perform in a job/the real world) i got in the habit of taking psychedelic drugs regularly for a few years. I was blissed-out, TO SAY THE LEAST. but i was also responsible about my use of these sacraments to the extent that I used them to work on myself- to the point where i was capable of facilitating healings for members of my community. unfortunately, my family was not as eager to receive these healings as others and our previously positive relationships deteriorated. i went through an existential crisis and dropped out of school to save the world (thereby forfeiting outside funding). with a crappy job and no longer capable of maintaining my high-vibration state by taking drugs every weekend, i became extremely ungrounded. eventually i just stopped communicating with people and turned from my once extroverted state into a completely lonely and introverted recluse. i stopped trusting my own true self and lost the self-confidence that is necessary to be a positive member of the community. i developed energetic blockages, became depressed, and pretty much just smoked pot, drifted into the stratosphere, and went back to sleep all day. this went on for a couple of years. lately, after much self work (namely getting in touch with my body) i realized i am doing what Barbara Brennan, in her book Light Emerging, called "first splitting, then twisting the energy-consciousness" in my body. the result would be to make it unsafe to be here. i would then leave the physical plane and sort of exist in a timeless place where nothing really at all was going on. this happens unconsciously and results in my creating unsafe situations wherever i go. of course, no one else knows what i am going through, so when they realize something is wrong they treat me as a regular confused person, but this doesn't work. the twisting of my energy is so extreme that it would take either someone experienced in healing someone with this condition or someone else with a very high capacity for healing. i have a left-right split, it has felt like my head is separated from my body and also a top-bottom split at my heart. my continual splitting and vacating have made my body, especially my lower body (legs and torso) extremely weak, which only makes it more difficult to heal. anyway, i am coming to realize that my purpose on this earth (as is everyones') is to heal and be healed. now, however, rather than try to psychically force those around me to heal me (or the alternative- escape social life altogether and go live in the the forest), i am going to try to commit to a strategy of strict self-healing. your post on ho'oponopono was extremely helpful in this regard- all the suffering in my life really does originate with me. i have to become balanced again and get my feet on the ground (i literally felt like they weren't touching the ground) in order to make my body safe enough to reinhabit. once i complete my self-healing, i can regain the confidence that has allowed me to facilitate healings in the past. with all these problems i am useless to myself and others and things will continue to be dissonant. i must accept my role as a wounded healer (and let go of the past). thanks for the post and thanks, everybody, for the comments. if you are going through this frightening, frustrating process: have faith: everything will work out in the end.

not safe in your body? said...

for those of you who "split and twist" their energy and then leave out the top: focus on the top of your head and then work your way down your body. if you are like me, then too much of your energy is up near your head and you are extremely weak in the lower part of your body. the energy of awareness is healing in itself and by simply focusing on those parts of your body that feel wrong you begin processes of healing them. it may be frightening and frustrating (it is for me) but over time you can heal. also, i am pretty off-balance (i actually stumble around) and have noticed that a centering meditation is helpful in regaining a sense of balance. take care of yourself, eat healthy food, try to break your addictions, and do something good for yourself once a day for a week. and know that you are loved and you love people and that is all there is. everything else is just a distraction. i love you and i am not alone. good luck.

Anonymous said...

a problem i have, being someone who suffers from the symptoms of schizoidal tendencies, is integrating higher spiritual truths- those that exist where all time and space exists and everything IS perfect (the place to which i force myself to go by contorting my body into unsafe positions) with physical reality (which is also perfect). I have so severely twisted my body that I can't even look people in the eyes, i always feel like i am floating above the ground and that people are making it impossible for me to talk around in a safe or comfortable manner. i have managed to deny that i am TOTALLY free and live life as if other people's thoughts and feelings (which i am very sensitive to and pick up automatically (as we all are and do)) control me and my thoughts and feelings. life is good so i get confused when people approach me and talk to me as if everything is ok when i have been walking around like a confused zombie for so long. these intellectualized thoughts about the nature of reality are false- with this realized a problem that remains for me now is allowing my body's built-in balancing system to do its work. i have done permanent damage to my legs, probably my back, and have such severe tension in my neck and shoulders i can barely feel my face. despite this, i AM safe in my body, even if people don't think i should feel that way and whether or not they do.

holding on doesn't work, i must surrender.

thanks for the post, its right on (at least for me).

Anonymous said...

It seems to be a process in which a "c" follows "b" follows "a" recipe prevails and if the work at hand doesn't fall into a particular slot its dynamics are poorly understood.
It's as if this character structure is saying: "If you can't define the job for me don't expect me to fill it." The person who described the job is left wondering: "What did I not say?" There's a constant sense of non-resolution.

Anonymous said...

I think this is absolute genius and I so appreciate the attention you give to the importance of body work. As someone who's been trying to have a healthy relationship with someone who our couple's therapist recently identified as schizoid...I can tell you that this person is not in his body at all. He lives in his head, in abstraction. He has been in therapy for four years and the energy has never moved. He grew up in a very emotionally cold environment. His parents are like robots. He has terrible bouts of anxiety, nervousness, panic. He can barely deal with the most basic day to day interactions required in work and relationships. He just gets paralyzed with fear. He goes back and forth between flooding, full disclosure of his feelings with me to total contraction and withdrawal. It's very sad and frustrating. :(

Anonymous said...

http://www.clarity-of-being.org/character-structures.htm

Unknown said...

You don't seem to discern "schizoid character" from the "schizoid state of mind"? You don't seem to be using the term "schizoid character" as it is used in Object Relation Theory by Guntrip, Fairbairn and others? Ah I see you are referring to a defense mechanism and just using the term "schizoid character" for consistency. Vary confusing especially when you then go on to throw "psychopathic character" into the mix. Differentiating the schizoid character from the schizoid state of mind is fundamental to avoiding the potential sociopath/psychopath in therapy-- one of which is not treatable.

Interesting work, thanks.

Anonymous said...

Hi,
Enjoyed the article. I strongly relate to this state of being. My problem is wanting to change - I don't like it's effects but the nature of the condition blocks change. Leaving the world looks like a great option, rather than trying to ground into it. How can I want to change if the nature of the condition makes engaging the world appear so pathetic, pitiful and ignorant? I often think of humanity as quite pathetic. Of those who engage the world as ignorant, and the process of engaging the world as completely undesirable. I'd change if I could, but I'm quite powerless over this world view as it's been with me since the first months of birth - as you have suggested - and I believe, began before with a resistance to the act of incarnation itself.

And yes, I am a therapist and teacher who helps many connect with their spiritual side - but dealing with anything outside of this is painful and overwhelming.

TheKelpie said...

Superb insights here, thank you very much. I can see myself in all of this. I guess I'm resigned to my fate, although not as happily so as I'd like. What I'm mulling over in particular: what is the essential wisdom to be gleaned from having a life with this character structure? I'd say the greatest sadness I am aware of is having so much ability and no way of being able to utilise it purposefully, for my own benefit or anyone else's. It's a prison this one, and I wouldn't want another life like it. My first memory, at 2 years old, was an overwhelming feeling that I would always be alone in life and I wouldn't cope. All this defensive infrastructure to try to attain the coping part of that memory! The ultimate Pyrrhic victory over fear. Anyway, haven't found a way out but would appreciate leaving this life with some wisdom built into my being as a result of having this character structure and thereby not really living. Thanks again, a fine insight you have.

Anonymous said...

Hello
In your article you said Body is often narrow and contracted in an effort to hold together against the fear of falling apart (body may be fuller and more athletic if there are paranoid elements present due to sexualizing by parents" and I wondered how the body becomes fuller, or more athletic if there was sexualisation by the parent.

My core, my main way of relating to others and "self is very schizoid (schizotypal), which includes huge amounts of body pain, body symptoms that cannot be explained. Especially of the nervous system, the skin being one of the organs that hurt the most.
I have researched this state of being/mind for some years now but I am unable to find an explanation why the body grows more athletic if there was sexualisation by parents. Any advice/insight very welcome and appreciated.

Lion Goodman said...

I want to offer individuals who are suffering from this syndrome an alternative method of healing. I was identified as having a schizoid structure by my former partner, who trained with Lowen and used bioenergetics as a healing methodology. That worked well for me to come back into my body, yet I realized I needed a mental-emotional path of healing at the same time. Based on studies of other methodologies, I found that changing my core beliefs, including the ones mentioned above in the article, had a direct and immediate impact on my ability to live an embodied, balanced life. I developed my own methodology which I now use to treat psychological wounds. I have also taught this method to hundreds of therapists and coaches around the world. Check it out at www.ClearYourBeliefs.com. For therapists interested in this work, visit www.ClearBeliefs.com.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to see adoption added to this list: "or due to traumatic birth circumstances (Caesarian, premature or breech delivery, incubator, etc.)" It would be good for adoption to be recognized as the trauma that it is... not because it's bad or unnecessary, but just so we can get more truthful about its impact.

Anonymous said...

That's pretty crazy. I was told by psychologists that I have schizoid traits but not the full personality. The traits grow more noticeable under high stress situations. Perfectionist parents do want the best for their children in their own way. But when a child with more imperfections than the parents could handle the path set for schizoid development is put into place. A sheltered childhood teaches you something crucial that the world is a very dangerous place and the only thing that decreases that anxiety is self-sufficiency. People always wonder why I don't talk to or connect with my family, except my parents of course, and that is because I don't want to or feel a need to.

Anonymous said...

That's also the reason I don't care or desire to form close relationships with too many others. Some others get so offended by this because they think it is a form of rejection but it is not. I do have the capability to become close to only a select few people I want to but I'm generally introverted and a loner. The reason I have never been fully diagnosed as having the full schizoid personality disorder is because I do have anxiety and depression. I also can have a short temperament to outburst which is not usually seen in schizoids. But the funny thing is the outburst only happens during times of dependency... Psychiatry is a tough field to diagnose stuff because a lot of disorders share similar features...

guy said...

That was a really though explanation of schizoid. I relate and appreciate. I feel very alone although I know people love me.

Gabe95 said...

Hey, I resonate a lot with what you just said, kind of describes my life the past few years. How are you doing now?

guy said...

Gabe95. If your comment is in response to mine, I do feel differently now. had some good shifts lately. Dark nights of soul coming out into more light. Dipping down into dark. But there is definite progress. I wish you well brother.

Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Hmmm very interesting. Yep I was not wanted as my brother before me was born with disabilities and my mother having narcassistic personality disorder only had time for him so I was handed over to an alcoholic father who I still don't know today. My older sister was called out as evil and I was never supposed to live. I have lived and I'm now fortysix and just fully realizing that I'm highly to extremely likely to be a schizoid. I'm reasonably intelligent but I never started to really even have a conversation with someone until I was around ten. Anyway keep up the good work as enjoyed reading a few tips. Yep I think I'll try yoga again. Who cares if I go off into my own planet whilst attending a very small class. I'm allowed to be me and for the first time in my life I am truly just going to be me, awkwardness and all. I'm just going to try and blindly trust that life will be okay for me from now on and that I have every right to live just as much as the next person. Thankyou for this. I will try to remember it.

Anonymous said...

This is really interesting. I am definitely schizoid/narcissistic. Pretty psychotic really. I feel trapped and stuck inside my body. That it sent connect to outside . That outside doesn’t make sense . I have pummelled my body for 15 years at the gym to try and keep it in shape but realise it’s just been a manic control things. Physically ima very strange shape. I’m now 47. I have had a pretty good looking top half but its like my waist hips and legs belong to child. Literally like my bottom half is squashed and my whole soul is pushed up and out and can’t get in. I’m waist 29 but have a big top half. I’ve noticed now as I get older my legs are getting weaker , I have no bum. It’s like I can’t hold myself and also like a incant breathe lower down.’it’s tough because it’s the shape of my bone structure. I almost feel disabled yet my image of myself has been this thing that ran around going woo hoo and jogging etc. But it was like a false energy. Like from my head/will and not naturally from my body . And I’ve just worn it out. I feel like I’m choking. Forcing myself to look a certain way . It’s like I’m squashed which has forced me from birth to be so uncomfortable with terror in my body I’ve gone. I’ve never enjoyed my body. I never even realised it was there growing up. Nothing was ever about the senses or how anything felt or tasted etc. I just feel like I’ve created my whole self from sheer will power and now I’ve run out of energy and I’m just going to die. There’s no flow or energy from my body whatsoever it’s all from my head . Forcing everything. I’d created an alternative place with an image that was “amazing” I looked great etc etc but the image didn’t match my reality. My bodily reality feels dead depressing psychotic etc etc . It’s like haven’t got a home to go to . I’ve made it all up in my head . I’m just scared..really scared ..mental health teams don’t seem to get what I’m talking about. They think it’s all negative thoughts etc etc. To change my thinking . It’s more my whole being is trapped or ejected with no home . My body doesn’t have any space for me to get in. I’ve tried body scans and I went psychotic. Shaking .i thought things were in my stomach. I don’t know what to do. My consciousness is trapped in this space inside ..any movement /awareness ie yoga just makes me go psychotic..like the only place I can exist is just a picture I can make in my mind.

Anonymous said...

I am thinking about suicide. I’m terrified of dying but being caged in this body is getting unbearable. It feels like age will just trap me more and more with no comfort of any “outside” Like choking to death .

Ridedalightn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I have done the barbara ann brennan healing course .i am thinking what i could add to help schizoids like i predominantly used to be...1. The best thing i ever did was to go on a b.a.b healer course to understand where i was more. 2 Realise that change does happen and things can get better. 3. We all build our character structures on our interpretations of significant events in our lives...4..Therefore when we look at the causes of schizoid for example...,. Its our own idea or interpretation that sets the mould therefore something as simple as holding onto the thought that someone is on your side and has helped you .just this thought sets a new mould and dynamic in motion....5 check out tjitse de jong
All the best keep the faith you will come through and shine
Michael Ridley

Anonymous said...

Tj have things gotten better ? I feel the same

Anonymous said...

No worse..I’m waking up more and trying not to be psychotic. Looking at real illnesses like scoliosis and infections ..ms etc…things that affect the growth of the body. Scoliosis can squash lungs..causing shallow breathing ..low oxygen means not much oxygen to the brain etc. also micrognathia…a small jaw etc mean not eating much causing malnutrtion ..and sleep apnea where you stop breathing . It’s like the brain has never had a home to grow on and has somehow developed separate..it’s impossible to explain to a doc without sounding mental ..which I am ..I only have to see a pic of a park in summer with people reading or bike riding and realise I’m
In my own little world ..I’ve got a weak heart.. lungs… my eyes are sensitive to
Light ..etc ..it doesn’t seem fair really ..I think I’ve died a few times in the past..seizure or heart stuff while drifting in bed ..so the terror of it all
Going black isn’t a fake anxiety..it’s something that’s already happened

 

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