"Isabel" wrote into FPL to comment on PL's response to the latest cover story featuring so-called "Attachment Parenting" advocate Jamie Grumet.
Here's Isabel:
"I like almost everything you write and I think it makes a lot of sense, except on this subject. I think you haven't researched enough, just look at some anthropological facts on breastfeeding around the world. By the way, mothers and fathers can be narcissistic both breastfeeding and bottlefeeding, I don't see your point here. And parents can put their needs before either with attachment parenting or using Ferber. Breasts are meant to breastfeed and children are not automous at 1,5 years, they start their autonomy and, of course, parents need to encourage that, but they need to return to a secure base for a very long time after that."
Here's PL:
Thank you very much for commenting, Isabel. I am glad that you like "almost everything" I write. Given the feathers that I often try and ruffle on the FPL blog, that is quite a compliment!
In this particular case, that of Ms. Grumet and her exploitation of the "Attachment Parenting" paradigm, you may be misreading what I wrote. I am not at all criticizing breastfeeding. Quite the contrary. Check my post again. Here's an excerpt:
"As FPL readers know, I'm no prude when it comes to the human body, sex or breast feeding, for that matter. In fact, I strongly advocate for all of the above in healthy doses in genuinely self-actualized situations."
What I am very much concerned about, Isabel, is that narcissistic, exhibitionistic, enmeshed and over-involved parents like Ms. Grumet are using the Attachment Parenting theory to justify their vicarious acting out and abuse of their children, a very insidious and serious epidemic in our time, no less harmful that overt physical abuse.
I do hope you continue to follow the FPL blog and again, I thank you for your thoughtful comments.
PL
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1 comment:
Ok, I see. I don't know this Ms Grumet and I understood that you were criticizing breastfeeding after 1,5 years and Attachment Theory in general. Then I agree with you, self-actualization is key. Most people should go to therapy before becoming parents or, at least, once they become parents. I do. I know everything I don't have worked out is a heavy weight on my children. It is very sad how adults put our needs before our offspring and the dramatic results for them. And usually parents say it is for their children. There is an alarming lack of awareness. I'll continue reading the blog, I would have continued anyway, I like your boldness.
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