What's Your E-Q?

What young Harley is saying in today's quote is exactly right, and more than just the wisdom of a child. In fact, in a landmark book, "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ," by Daniel Goleman, the author/psychologist makes a striking point about the need to lead with our heart when it comes to making important decisions.

Here's an excerpt from Goleman's book, which I used for a class I taught called, "FEELING HUMAN," on the crucial role of emotions in our lives:

"Sociobiologists point to the preeminence of heart over head at crucial moments when they conjecture about why evolution has given emotion such a central role in the human psyche. Our emotions guide us in facing predicaments too important to leave to the intellect alone - danger, painful loss, bonding with a mate, persisting in a goal. "Each emotion offers a distinctive readiness to act.
"The intuitive signals that guide us in crucial decision-making moments come in the form of limbic-driven surges from the viscera that Antonio Domasio (Descartes Error) calls “somatic markers” - literally “gut feelings.” Feeling is crucial in navigating the endless stream of life’s personal decisions. While strong feelings can create havoc in reasoning, the lack of awareness of feeling can also be ruinous, especially in weighing the decisions upon which our destiny largely depends: what career to pursue, who to date or marry, where to live… Such decisions cannot be made through sheer rationality; they require gut feeling and the emotional wisdom garnered through past experiences. We usually do not, in the moment, recall what specific experiences formed the feeling, but when the signal of a gut feeling rises up, we can immediately drop or pursue a course of action with greater confidence, and so pare down our array of choices to a more manageable decision matrix. The key to sounder personal decision-making, in short: being attuned to our feelings."

We all know this at some level, but we ignore it. Yet, it's in our language. When someone says, "I think..." about something, or "I believe..." the very statements indicate an uncertainty. But when someone says, "I know..." about anything, the certainty comes from a feeling. In fact, very often when making a decision from that place, even if we're challenged or questioned, our comeback is: "I just feel it." And we can't be shaken. Even more than that, when making decisions from our feelings, we can act faster and we don't second guess ourselves, whether it's in deciding who to marry or whether or not to order Chinese food or pizza for lunch.

Here's "Seth," channeled by Jane Roberts, on the power and importance of emotions:

"Intellect and feeling together make up your existence, but the fallacy is particularly in the belief that the aware mind must be analytical and above all. Imagination and emotions are the most concentrated forms of energy that you possess as physical creatures. Any strong emotion carries with it far more energy than, say, that required to send a rocket to the moon. Emotions, instead of propelling a physical rocket, for example, send thoughts from interior reality through the barrier between non-physical and physical into the “objective” world - no small feat, and one that is constantly repeated. No feeling brings you to a dead end. Each feeling is in motion and that always leads to another feeling. As it flows it alters your entire physical condition, and that interchange is meant to be consciously accepted. Your emotions will always lead you into a realization of your beliefs if you do not impede them."

So, lead with your hearts, folks. Try it out for a day. Make your day's decisions according to how it feels, rather than by going through your obsessive mental checklists. See what happens. And by the way, check out your posture. It's no coincidence that when you're walking in a well-balanced way, your chest is ahead of your head. Poor posture, especially among people with "schizoid character structures," who primarily use "intellectualization" as a defense mechanism, is one in which the head is pushed forward and the body is held back. Not a good set-up. Does this man look happy to you?

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