Barbara Fischkin left this comment on the FPL blog today:
"Yes it's me that 'dreadful' parent Barbara Fischkin. If it's always the parents' fault why do I have a younger son who is a caring, charming, handsome, articulate athlete? And by the way, I was older when I gave birth to him and so was my husband. This blog's views on autism are from the shameful depths of another century. People who decry abuse stopped worshiping Bettelheim decades ago."
PL's response:
Barbara - First of all, in no way was I saying that you were a "dreadful" parent. I am sure that you are a loving, dedicated mother, and while I wouldn't say that I "worship" Bettelheim, I do think that his landmark book, "Love Is Not Enough" has some very valuable information in it.
If you read my post, it is clear that what I am saying, Barbara, is that parenting in our society is an overwhelming challenge, and unfortunately, our medical establishment - which is first and foremost a business, today - exploits said overwhelmed parents by offering the false balm that it is nature that screws up our kids, not us, and that the magic solutions lie with the drugs that "correct" nature, an approach which the medical establishment just so happens to get rich from.
My experience, which has led me to observe that parenting is always part of the etiological picture of childhood disorders like autism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, attention deficit problems, etc., etc., and the conclusions I draw, are not an assault on parents. If anything, they are my reflection on the opportunity for parents and children to heal together by exploring what went wrong and how, together, it can be corrected.
I am speaking from experience, not dogma or theory from "another century," Barbara. I have helped children diagnosed as "brain dsyfunctional" attain normalcy through play therapy and working with the parents. No drugs. Just hard, roll-up-your-sleeves emotional work. Don't fear this notion. I'm not saying it's your "fault." I'm saying you're connected to your child's struggles. Doesn't that make sense?
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1 comment:
First let me say that I welcome this dialogue. But actually what you are saying DOES NOT make sense. When our son was first diagnosed we spent a small fortune on play therapy and it did absolutely nothing. Dibs down the drain. In recent months three things have worked: A speech therapist who can do prompt therapy. (hard to find) A DAN protocols doctor, who is very important despite your skepticism. And excellent teachers. They all are vital and all work in tandem. Play therapy, though, is not what they do.
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