Oh, this is a big one. This will ruffle the feathers of a lot of people who strive to be saints, do-gooders and long-suffering mates. Yes, many human beings have dedicated themselves to the illusion that by doing for others, you will get for yourself, that self-sacrifice leads to future rewards, that meeting the needs of others makes you deserving of having your needs met, because putting yourself second is what makes a good person good.


Nobody needs you. Nobody.

Well, okay, now that I've delivered the shock treatment, let's qualify that. No adult needs you. It is true that in strictly physical terms, your children - in early childhood only - need you for nourishment, shelter, emotional support, love and guidance. Fair enough. But after that, nobody needs you!

So, get over it and let's explore the truth about this.

As I said, in linear, physical reality, children are pretty much born utterly helpless and dependent. In order to survive and thrive during the first 5 to 7 years of life, a child must receive everything of physical and emotional sustenance from the environment, mainly the parents and/or other significant caretaking others in our current paradigm (Problems with that paradigm were discussed in Part 4 of this series: "PARENTS ARE THE LEAST QUALIFIED OF ALL ADULTS TO RAISE CHILDREN!"). 

I refer to this need in the young child to be "filled up" by its parents as being on the "tank system."

As the child evolves through the developmental stages of late childhood, adolescence and on into young adulthood, the need to receive is steadily replaced by the need to "give," what Erik Erikson called "generativity." Adults, in other words, get filled up by giving, what I refer to as the "channel system." 

The more an adult gives, the more filled up he or she feels, the more he or she receives. For an adult, giving and receiving a like inhaling and exhaling. One leads inexorably to the other

Now - very important - let's clarify what is meant by "giving" in adulthood. It is not doing "good deeds" or acting out of "self-sacrifice" or through so-called altruistic behaviors. An adult human being gives, genuinely, by expressing, by creating, by outputting from a place of passion, desire and personal highest excitement. To act from any other place means acting from a mask, from the child self's ego, and that means that the so-called giving is actually a covert attempt to get something (i.e. - an unmet need from childhood, which ironically, is something an adult actually doesn't need anymore, as I've indicated.)

This principle also includes giving love to people you may love romantically. If you cannot accept that someone won't fully receive the love you are trying to give, and you remain frustrated by that, you are caught in the "giving-to-get" trap.

Here's a quote from a Pathwork Guide Lecture, "The Harm of Too Much Giving":

"If a person is incapable of receiving your love and is frightened by it, yet your frustrated wish to love comes out in a stronger force than what the other person is capable of meeting, your current makes that other person withdraw in fear. When you are unaware of your own inner processes, you are not sensitive to this. You merely feel rejected and are busy with this insult. Thus you do not respect the other's integral right not to be receptive to what you wish to give. But if you realize the inner struggle of the other person, if you grow sufficiently to give only what can be received, another kind of relationship could come into being that may be very rewarding."

So, simply put, except for children, nobody needs you to do or be anything that isn't for and from your highest place of personal fulfillment. (See the intro description of Full Permission Living). And even children, by the way, only truly get nourished emotionally if your giving to them is coming from a self-actualized place of joy. 

Now, onto the spiritual, higher dimensional understanding of why nobody needs you.

One of the basic, higher truths about everything, which I mentioned in the introduction to the first installment of this series, is that we are all one. What that means, among other things, is that we are all of the same singular "body" of consciousness and energy, and that every "individual" is actually a mirrored reflection of an aspect of ourselves and of All That Is. Separateness, therefore, is an idea, a construct, an illusion if you will. Individuality is an experiment in consciousness by the consciousness of All That Is to experience the idea of separation.

It is only by thoroughly believing in this idea of separation, and by forgetting temporarily the true nature of existence, that we could possibly believe that any one person might "need" another. In other words, one would have to conclude that a particular individual is not connected directly to the source energy of All That Is, and therefore needs us to step in where All That Is is falling short, quite a remarkable arrogance, wouldn't you say? But that's been part of the 3D game, which is now coming to an end, which is why we're talking about this!

So, let it go, folks. Take a deep breath and realize that you are free, free from obligation, free from sacrifice, free from denial of who you are. Everyone benefits fully, everyone receives your gifts, when you are loving yourself fully. Period.

Nobody needs you because ultimately there is no one but you.

Think about that.


Peaceseeking said...

Hi I really enjoyed your articles and I find it so true! I have been reading Seth materials recently and I found you two have many common points. I just wonder if you have ever read those books? (there're free copies on my blog), and if you can recommend to me some books that inspires you most? Regards, Tina

Anonymous said...

As always I found your articles stimulating and thought inducing.
I remember...
When I was young how confused I was when someone asked me why I am helping them.
They thought I expected something in return. The truth is I felt sorry for them and what I did at the time was a small thing for me.

It is only later that I understood that people do "favours" to each other in order to get a "favour".
And for a while I joined the wagon, because I thought that is the way the things are. But it didn't last; it is so easy to see that is the wrong way to go about things.


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