Here's Rick:

"I read your entry about being a disgruntled curmudgeon with great interest and, as with many of your posts, you get me asking many questions, scratching my head in bewilderment and even laughing.

You certainly detailed a lifetime of negative experiences, false promises and crushed dreams. Who would fault anyone for being a curmudgeon if the world was seen through these eyes? What you detailed could be shared by millions of people growing up in the 60’ + 70’s. Does this mean it is ok to be permanently be in that state? Does it give one license to paint, with a broad brush, the negatives in all parents, relatives, all doctors, all teachers, all politicians? Ok I might be convinced that ALL politicians are corrupt!

You have made a choice to hang onto the negatives of your history without deference to some of the great people that have shaped your generation. There weren’t any happily married couples? No open and accepting relatives? No priests or nuns that made a positive impact on your generation? No doctor that was admirable? No teacher that was inspiring? If this is true, you have every right to be the curmudgeon. Hell, you have every right to be worse than that! You got a raw deal! Blast away!

You ironically end your post with, “Love is the essence of All That Is and We are all one”. I am a teacher first and am always wondering what is the best way to present an issue on position “X” so that people will gain some understanding. I wonder if I used your tactics, how would my students respond? In most cases, they would never get the message because I would lose them with the tone.

Is calling someone stupid “All that is” and loving? Is slamming all doctors, particularly the ones who have dedicated their lives to helping those less fortunate oftentimes without just compensation if any at all, the essence of love and all that is? Even some politicians have done some great things. Most religious leaders truly serve humanity and the common good. I have worked with the best teachers education has to offer.On the flip side, I have experienced very bad and hurtful people in all of these areas too.

A good friend of mine wondered if people are just hardwired a certain way and can't escape the trappings of their DNA. Nature vs nurture? Or would it be the trappings of negative experiences? If 99% of children are abused, is it surprising that so many negative and abusive (intentional and unintentional) acts are committed towards others? But do those acts define the whole person and the truth?

I believe in the human spirit and that people, of all walks of life, are generally good hearted. Does that mean they don’t do very hurtful things? No. Does that mean they are balanced? No. Sometimes, spouses/partners and parents, don’t have the tools in their toolbox to “properly” fulfill their role, whatever that is. They had poor role models themselves. Should we condemn them while they’re trying to figure out what tools to get or how to use them?

If love is the essence of all that is and we are all one, then we have no choice but to be forgiving and understanding of the shortcomings we all have. I try to be a good person/husband/father/brother/son/friend/teacher/coach etc. Have I hurt people? Yes. Have I been mean to others? Yes. Have I abused my son? According to Alexander Lowen, chances are I have or will.

Does that make me an evil person? Does that exclude me from the “We” in “We are one”? I’d like to think not.

Nobody is perfect but we should strive for perfection. People have hurt me terribly. We all get hurt and are disappointed. It wasn’t until I was able to understand and/or forgive those people that I was able to begin healing and feeling that “We are all One”.

I'll follow this up with the rule of 80!"


Very thoughtful and heartfelt as usual, Rick.

To be fair to myself, though, I did say "that many parents suck the life out their children and that many doctors exploit their patients for money and don't have a clue about real healing."

To point out the negative doesn't negate the positive anymore than focusing on the old stuff in my closet that needs to be thrown away or cleaned up negates the nice things in there. In fact, all we really have to do is clean out the negative in ourselves and the positive will shine forth. That's what is meant by "Love is the essence of All That Is." We don't have to learn how to be loving; we just need to unlearn how to be defensive, fearful and needy.

People often ask me "What do I have to do?" in order to be happy, loving, healthy, wealthy and wise? I say, just surface and face and clear out the negative in your false self and the beauty and truth in your real self will take over. You'll just know what to do then. And when you're coming from a place of love, yes, you can even helpfully call someone stupid! LOL!!

There are good people everywhere, Rick, in every profession an in every institution, but many professions taken as a whole are corrupt and riddled with complacency and/or greed. Flushing that out will never negate the positiveness.

By the way, one priest who really helped me a lot in my young life as a college student, offering me invaluable guidance and wisdom at a time when I really needed it, ended up leaving the priesthood because its constructs and dogma were too confining.

"The rule of 80?" Hmmm... can't wait to hear!

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