Sometimes, it's hard to choose isn't it?
I mean, you know on any given day, would you prefer filet mignon OR a Quarter Pounder with cheese for dinner? A nice Shiraz with that or some Boone's Farm Fuzzy Navel? A day at the beach or a day at the car wash? Making passionate love with the one you love or jerking off to Barely Legal?
I guess that's how the voters euphemistically referred to as "UNDECIDED" must feel in trying to decide between Barack Obama and John McCain for president. I mean, one man is intelligent and open-minded, emotionally balanced and grounded, energized and energizing, a truly unifying force in both his presence and intentions. The other man is... well, John McCain ("Big Mac?").
Yep. It must be hard for those Undecideds. End the war in Iraq in a responsible way or stay for a hundred years? Cut taxes for the middle class or cut taxes for the wealthiest top 1 percent? Respect the rights of women to make choices about their own "health" (McCain's air quotes) or dictate a rigid morality to women even at the risk of their own lives. Teach evolution or watch The Flintstones in science class?
Hmmm. What a difficult and confusing choice, huh?
Okay, let's get real, then. Who are these people - The Undecided? Are they figments of the media's imagination, a media desperately trying to keep a horse race going for ratings' sake, even though the McCain-Palin ticket is going the way of the dinosaurs 6,000 years ago?! Are they lazy, apathetic, inert people, so addicted to eating Dorito's and watching Lost and American Idol that they only recently, like five minutes ago, started tuning into the campaigns to see who's running? Are they narcissistic attention-seekers, playing hard-to-get, hoping to fill an empty space in their lives with their fifteen minutes of "Joe-The-Plumber" fame?
Well, for any of the above reasons, and maybe even some other, more nefarious ones perhaps, I have decided from here on in to refer to them not as Undecided, but Unforgiven. It's your choice.