Wow, Peter, I have been reading your posts, but this one is really hitting me because it's exactly me.
Can you recommend any literature or a program or anything that will help me grow as a person and be able to keep the good qualities of my character, but overcome the qualities that are so restricting me in my daily and overall life?
I'm so tired of punishing myself, being retentive and not being able to express my feelings. Almost all that know me think I'm smart and wise, but it's so hard on me to try to please almost all, all the time, most of the time hurting my wants in the process. I don't want to become selfish and an ass, just to be able to live life freely and fully with respect towards everyone, but also towards myself. I understand my weaknesses/problems but I'm not able to overcome them on my own. I'm trying hard, but it's just a pretense and I can't fool even myself.
I need a fundamental change in approach towards life I think.
Great blog Peter, keep it up, I'm sure many people appreciated it, I certainly do.
Thank you, Nicolas! It is always encouraging to hear from someone with a strong desire to see himself or herself and willing to reach out for guidance. That courageous humility is what we all need personally and as a society to heal all of our wounds and dysfunctions. In order to break through one's character structure, masochistic or otherwise, and to arrive to a place of freedom and self-actualization, it does indeed require the help of another, and specifically that help should be in the form of a healing process that addresses both the subconscious inner world of our beliefs and the blocks in our emotional lives and physical bodies that keep us in that hamster wheel of repetition. I suggest looking for a mind-body therapist, perhaps trained in Bioenergetics or Core Energetics or something similar. If you truly intend this for yourself, you will indeed find the right person for this noble purpose.
Keep me posted!