Anti- Valentines Day?

Well, yeah, I must admit, I've never liked Valentine's day, or at least not since I was in grade school. Back then, it was sort of fun because I could tell girls that I had crushes on how I felt. It was a day that sanctioned revealing secret crushes. But after becoming a man, secret crushes became a sign of immaturity. If I had love feelings for someone, why wouldn't I just tell them outright, everyday of the year? The idea of a holiday to express one's love seemed antithetical somehow to the way love was supposed to work. And the commercial aspect of the holiday was worse than Christmas.

Also, looking around as I grew up, I couldn't help but notice that the type of men who bought their girlfriends or wives candy and flowers on Valentines Day were usually the type who didn't express their love very openly the rest of the year, or they were "cheating." Cynical I know, but I often thought - the bigger the Valentines Day gift, the more certain the man was having affairs.

On the flip side, needing to be acknowledged on Valentines Day seemed to go hand-in-hand with co-dependency and insecurity in a relationship, like the person who's always asking, "Do you love me?" (The unspoken demand being: "Prove it!") Nothing kills the love, Eros and sex in a relationship like co-dependency.

So, on that note, here's a wonderful passage from another "Conversations With God" book (since I've had the series out lately).


"As parents, spouses and loved ones, seek not to make of your love a glue that binds, but rather a magnet that first attracts, then turns around and repels, lest those who are attracted begin to believe they must stick to you to survive. Let your love propel your beloveds into the world - and into the full experience of who they are. In this will you have truly loved."

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